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feistydreams -> RE: A vaguely confusing question (7/19/2006 12:17:02 AM)
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I just wanted to thank everyone that's replied so far. Everything here seems to be very good advice and criticism and I thank you for it all. I'll take everything in mind and consideration. In a sort of reply to some things being said, I do have this to say: I do love him dearly, and he loves me, and there's no way I could ever throw that away, especially since he's been so good to me this whole time. He's done a lot to help me sort out previous issues I'd had, and he's helped me to come to discover and further myself. He's actually the one who steered me in the direction of looking at things related to BDSM, and despite the fact that he has misgivings about completely dominating me, he'd wanted me to take a look at it so he could better learn how to fulfill me. And a small matter of miscommunication, though one that has led to helpful replies regardless, when I'd mentioned the cat collar thing, I did not mean that has to say I wear the collar to show his ownership of me. I would not consider it as thus because he did not present it to me, it was something I'd bought on my own before him. I just wear it as a cute little ornament, because I rather adore felines and fancy myself a kindred spirit to them. I'd love to be reborn a cat, if reincarnation is real. And something I've been reflecting on since the time I made this post. The more I think about it, the more I feel as though he is having a harder time with becoming my Master because he works for a corporation and he would probably have his career ruined if anyone found out about him being involved in the lifestyle. And when I said he is not a Dom at heart, I did mean that in that he does not have a need to dominate me (or others), though he does enjoy it. He does, however, have a need to see his partner fulfilled, which pleases him more, sometimes, than when he is the one being pleased. He also is by no means a sub, although he may well be a switch... If I get a little intoxicated I tend to wind up dominating him, though will quickly go back to being submissive if he commands it of me, he does get a thrill out of it most time, even if only for the variance. I'm not exactly sure what I'd meant by including half of those comments. ~laughs~ Though take what you will of it, and any further advice based on them, would be welcomed. I'm more than open to criticism as well. I'm new to all this, and still young and naive, so getting knocked off a proverbial pedestal is good for me. Keeps me humble and real. Again, thanks for all the advice and criticism thusfar, it's helped me in my mindset greatly. Unfortunately I haven't yet the chance to act upon the advice, as I'm currently over 1000 miles away from my boyfriend/Master and will be for a few more days. Gives me the chance to plan out my actions, at least, though. Thank you all! ~Michelle
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