Responding to messages (Full Version)

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Calbammer -> Responding to messages (11/29/2004 6:45:38 PM)

Would like to know why anybody, who has had messages posted to them, do not respond at all. I believe that it is not only rude and impolite, but shows a lack of character. I believe that a simple response of no thank you or notn interested is better than nothing at all.
Would like to know what others think.
Calbammer



proudsub -> RE: Responding to messages (11/29/2004 7:31:47 PM)

There have been at least a dozen threads on this, here's the most recent one:
rudeness

BTW it would probably help if you fill out your profile, many won't respond to an empty profile. Good luck.



Calbammer -> RE: Responding to messages (11/29/2004 8:45:54 PM)

My profile is filled out, so I know that can not be the reason for those who have not repsonded to my posts to them.



proudsub -> RE: Responding to messages (11/29/2004 9:54:11 PM)

quote:

My profile is filled out, so I know that can not be the reason for those who have not repsonded to my posts to them.


Oh sorry, i must of clicked on the wrong one.



Estring -> RE: Responding to messages (11/29/2004 10:28:15 PM)

It's possible that they just aren't interested in you. Go with that.



aliljaded1 -> RE: Responding to messages (11/30/2004 6:29:08 AM)

ive found that when someone e-mails me here and has clearly not bothered to read my profile i do not respond.
good luck



smile2cu -> RE: Responding to messages (11/30/2004 11:09:01 AM)

On every message board I've ever been on its been the same, there are a lot of people who don't respond, and always at least one thread going at any one time decrying that. I wish it wasn't so, but it is.

I'm sure that says something profound about us behaviorally, but I'll leave that to those more interested in that aspect of it.

Calbammer, I can only say, I sympathize, but there's no use worrying about it. No response means "Sorry, but for whatever reason, I'm not interested."

All you can do is go on. Patience is a virtue online.



dixiedumpling -> RE: Responding to messages (11/30/2004 11:45:42 AM)

My profile clearly states that I'm not looking. That's all it says. How could anyone get confused? I get occasional mail. Most from Doms wanting to meet. I generally respond that "I'm not looking". That usually settles it. But I'm left to wonder if their reading skills fail them from time to time.



subbiejenn -> RE: Responding to messages (11/30/2004 7:57:31 PM)

i do try and answer all e-mails i recieve but i am sure i do miss some... If it is a Dom i am not interested in i just tell them sorry but i am not interested, thank You for the e-mail *grins* i don't find it rude if not answered, some subs get tons of e-mails and it is hard to answer them all.

Calbammer, honestly i wouldn't dwell on this matter - if You find this a rude action then this person/persons is/are probably not what Your looking for anyway so best they did not e-mail You anyway -- right? It is not worth the effort or stress to get all worked up over someone you feel "shows a lack of character."

Best of luck and i hope unanswered e-mails become further inbetween for You *smiles*

~jenn~



harmony3709 -> RE: Responding to messages (11/30/2004 8:02:24 PM)

I can sympathize with your frustration at the lack of response to an email/message. I can only honestly answer that to me it's a matter of manners, but of course we all also are human beings and going to make mistakes, in manners or otherwise, and I personally try to remind myself of tolerence and patience when told someone will write/call/IM and it doesn't materialize. I try to always respond, but sometimes am quite late in doing so due to life's little disruptions or perhaps I haven't had time to read the person's profile over and take a few moments to write an appropriate response. One thing to note though is that at times I have felt frustrated when responding to emails because even a polite "thanks but no thanks" seems to be interpreted as encouragement and an open door to more emails, making it definitely seem easier to just avoid answering at all. I have also heard this same comment from other submissives, so I know I'm not alone in that issue.

Take care and good luck in your search,
harmony



subm4use -> RE: Responding to messages (11/30/2004 10:41:45 PM)

I have noticed that that happens quite often myself, however on this site everyone has been much more polite when it came to replies than on other sites that i have visited. Therefore, i am actually impressed with the quality of the people here on this site, and hope to see that trend continue well into the future.



Calbammer -> RE: Responding to messages (11/30/2004 11:01:09 PM)

I would like to add this little bit of input to the discussion thread, as well. When I do check someone out (their profile), I do read all of it and go through a sort of pick and choose, for which ones seem to be the best promising. I have never e-mailed any individual who has stated that they are involved with another (because I respect the fact of the relationship they may have), that they have stated that they are looking for certain criteria that I believe that I do not meet anb/or have certain limitations that I am not interested in or that they may not be interested in what I seek.
With that all said, I like to say thank you to all of those who have responded to this post. Especially to smile2cu, subbiejenn and harmony for thier advice and support. I would also like to say thank you to dixiedumpling, aliljaded1, Estring and proudsub too for their input as well. To bad that there wasn't more to hear from.
Thank you all,
Calbammer



knees2you -> RE: Responding to messages (11/30/2004 11:26:44 PM)

If Someone does not reply, If You have read there Profile over and over~
And have sent A nice long letter, and get nothing in return, then There not worth Yours or anybodys time!!

If You could name names then it would be empty on here
for sure~

Sincerely, anthony

[image]local://upfiles/19655/DB193F26C2C142D188492C1AA98140E2.gif[/image]



subbiejenn -> RE: Responding to messages (12/1/2004 7:07:49 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: subm4use

I have noticed that that happens quite often myself, however on this site everyone has been much more polite when it came to replies than on other sites that i have visited. Therefore, i am actually impressed with the quality of the people here on this site, and hope to see that trend continue well into the future.


i agree totally with you on this -- i have belonged to other sites also and was also impressed when i came here. i have met a lot more "real" Doms here and many many more friends.



Wolfsbabygirlz -> RE: Responding to messages (12/5/2004 4:02:36 AM)

greetings to you ....had to say ...couldnt have said it better myself. It shows complete lack of respect & I personally find it too be mean. Thank you for that, very refreshing to hear someone with insight.
Wolfsbabygirlz =)



sterlingsweet -> RE: Responding to messages (12/5/2004 4:30:11 AM)

Opps.. hit the wrong button this is in responce to Calbammer...

I have stated very clearly in my profile what I am looking for;
That I am a Lesbian submisive/switch looking for a Lesbian Domme/switch into Monogamy.....

I get a message simply stating; "what a shame"

Now why the hell would I even want to respond to that??? Or even want
to debate in my head How to???
Infact, I bit my witful tongue and willingly controlled my typing fingers
Not to Respond and BE RUDE!!![:@]

[image]local://upfiles/43644/A51DF965F40C48A59F5CB31BB391CA62.gif[/image]



faithNZ -> RE: Responding to messages (12/5/2004 8:12:13 PM)

Like many others, i belong to more than one internet site, although this is the only one that is dedicated to BDSM and have found the quality of people in here very high.
If i choose to email someone, i will often look a day or two later to see if they have read the message and look up when they were last online. If they were on since i sent them an email but did not bother to reply, then i tend to put them at the bottom of my list. I have found this to be very efficient for deciding whether or not to pursue contact with the person in mind.



proudsub -> RE: Responding to messages (12/5/2004 8:45:19 PM)

quote:

If they were on since i sent them an email but did not bother to reply, then i tend to put them at the bottom of my list. I have found this to be very efficient for deciding whether or not to pursue contact with the person in mind.


Faith, i often read mail and respond a day or so later after giving it some thought or when i have more time to respond apropriately.



BeachMystress -> RE: Responding to messages (12/6/2004 12:32:48 AM)


Is it impolite not to respond when sent a message? Yes. But there are things to keep in mind. While I try hard to respond to any mail sent to me, if a mail is too long I'll set it aside for later. Since collar me doesn't have a way of marking a letter for later attention, the mail sometimes gets lost in the volume of incoming mail. I know it has happened with me in the past. Do I know to whom? No, or I'd look them up by name and reply. Did I mean to blow them off? No.. Does it seem to them like I did? Probably. I get a lot of mail on here and am sure the other females do also. It can be overwhelming at times. If there is someone you really were interested in who didn't reply to you, check their profile including journal entries. If you don't see a reason there why they might not have responded to you, drop them another short mail after about a week. Do not make this a why didn't you respond to me mail. Make it a short letter. Be very polite. Good luck :-)



EStrict -> RE: Responding to messages (12/6/2004 11:12:53 AM)

I guess I just don't see this the same way. If someone spells out exactly what things they aren't looking for, and you write them even though you don't fit, *why* are the obligated to write you to say *thanks but no thanks*? That's like saying if you are walking down the street and someone rides over you on a bicycle, (something you aren't *asking* for just because you are on the same street), you should be the one to say *excuse me*. You may have been on the street, but they are the ones who were not paying attention....

I respond to any polite note, even if it is just to tell me how wrong I am about something. I ignore the ones that are clear spam, looking for sex, or from people who tell me that I *WILL* do ___________. But, since I am not seeking, I do not get inundated with the quantity of mail some get. I am also fairly computer literate, so I don't have the problem of losing mail that I have watched others have.

If you are really offended someone doesn't reply, just remember,, no-one *owes* you anything....



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