I don't understand the pain thing. (Full Version)

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louisboy -> I don't understand the pain thing. (11/8/2015 6:55:59 PM)

I'm a gay 24/7 personal servant type guy. I understand the need to obey and serve a Master. A guy giving an order----Oh, GOD, LOVE IT. YEAH!!!--- I can easily grasp that aspect. But gay life is mostly vanilla. I was considered "hard core". The thing I've never got was the whips, chains, and pain thing. As I understand it, it's one of two things, or both.
#1. you allow the Master to do whatever he wishes as an act of TOTAL obedience,
#2. the whips, chains and pain thing are a sort of aphrodisiac .
Where am I right and where am I wrong?

I'm sure some wouldn't understand the high of ironing a guy's shoe laces every night. We live in the town of needing to obey and serve, but we live on different streets.



angelikaJ -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/8/2015 7:11:56 PM)

Some people like hot peppers.
Eating them gives them a kind of rush.
It is said that eating them releases endorphins.
Of the people who enjoy spicy peppers, some like mild ones (poblano peppers: 1,000 Scoville Units) and for some, the hotter the better (ghost peppers: 1,150,000 Scoville units).

For some people, pain is merely a spice and for others it is integral to their play... and others like you don't like it at all.



littleladybug -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/8/2015 7:58:14 PM)

Domination and submission don't inherently have anything to do with sadism and masochism.

Liking "the pain thing" is just a sign of a masochist, no more, no less.



Bunnicula -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/8/2015 10:22:59 PM)

If Master asked me to iron his shoe laces I'd think he was nuts. I'd do it because that's what I agreed to when I became his, but it wouldn't give me a thrill, I'd just be mildly concerned about his sanity.

We are an S&M M/s couple and pain turns us both on. He loves giving it, I love receiving it. For us, it's foreplay.



OsideGirl -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/9/2015 9:48:56 AM)

BDSM is Bondage/Discipline/Sado-Masochism - it's kinky sex.

D/s or M/S is a power dynamic.

You can engage in one and never engage in the other. I know people that are strictly D/s and never engage in BDSM. I have a friend that is into BDSM, but wants nothing to do with being in a D/s relationship.

Or you can engage in both.

It's all about what you and your partner want out of the relationship and there is no wrong version.



DarkSteven -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/9/2015 10:09:32 AM)

I think you're asking the wrong question. You have a very good idea of what dynamic you like, and are asking how to deal with the label you want.

Do what you do well and enjoy. The hell with worrying over the label.



sweetieDA -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/9/2015 11:34:51 AM)

I find pain erotic, and it fascinates me. Forced pain is even more interesting, you don't know how you'll react to it until it happens. When I used to watch films where something horrible would happen to one of the characters, I'd always be consumed thinking about how awful it would feel if that happened to me. I suppose, somewhere along the line, empathy turned to active curiosity.


Never understood service in the slightest and still don't.



Kana -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/9/2015 11:48:12 AM)

quote:

Where am I right and where am I wrong?

For mouse, the pain is not the destination, but the vehicle.
She hates pain, but loves the fact that I take things from her that she would never willingly give.
Pain is the symptom, control is the cancer.



louisboy -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/9/2015 11:50:22 AM)

Let me explain the ironing his shoe lace thing. This master was a business man. It was my duty to ensure that he was impeccably dressed, even down to the appearance of his shoelaces. AS you were exploring your limits, ironing his shoelaces was mine.



wannapleez -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/9/2015 3:45:23 PM)

I have found two things in my experience regarding "the pain thing".

On one hand, there is the aspect of letting my Mistress do anything she wants. This is arousing psychologically and (at least for me) the crux of any D/s relationship.

On the other hand, there are some pain things (e.g. having my nipples pinched/twisted) that I just plain like. This is arousing physically.



WickedsDesire -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/14/2015 8:44:51 AM)

You do not like physical pain, and that is fine, tell him and find another - if he has bull whipped you with the kitchen sink, or whatever you were on about was not hypothetical or a discussion between the two of you.


Some people like pain
Some like inflicting it, having it inflicted upon their being.
There are a few reasons for it being so. The keyword is some.



DaddySatyr -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/14/2015 10:26:43 AM)


While I come from the other side of the kneel, I've never understood the "pain thing" either.

Take heart! If you don't understand it and don't want to engage in it, you don't have to. There are people that see things the same way you do. It's a much more difficult search but they are out there.



Michael



littleclip -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (11/15/2015 8:20:13 PM)

the way my brain is wired the pain receptors cross over to the pleasure side as I am adhd it helps me to focus and even afterwards my brain is good for several days to a week. my wife has even said to me to go and get a beating from your mistress and come back . not all are wired for pain pleasure if its not you then its not you I also am a service oriented slave and enjoy serving.



willeatcum69 -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (12/2/2015 11:46:17 AM)

AS I see it or I should say feel it kinky sex is the pleasure of pain carefully applied to enhance edging to orgasm. I like nipple clamps on my nipples as I like the pain, I don't know why I just like the feeling. I like to be paddled and whipped and to be tied up Why ? I have no idea it feels good, it's also being under someone else's control. I like to be facefucked too that's not painful but the cock going all the way down my throat is wonderfully uncomfortable. I like when a woman smothers my mouth with her pussy or ass after she has been fucked. Why? I like cleaning up swallowing the juices and the smell of of her and her lover. We all have our fetishes and until I had tried them all I would not know what i liked. Once i liked straight vanilla sex. Then bi sex then TS TG sex. What one likes changes over time. You just never know until you try it !!



Greta75 -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (12/2/2015 5:53:04 PM)

Different people process the pain thing differently.

I like pain if it's applied to intensify my orgasms.

But I have a sub once claim to me, she felt the full extent of the pain. It was not enjoyment for her. But it makes her feel good that she is able to endure the pain and the more pain she is able to endure, she feels a sense of achievement from it.

For me, the pain application needs to transform into pleasure sensations for me, or else, I wouldn't enjoy it. I hate to see it as endurance, it's not for me. It's pleasure.

And pain is interesting because, with my x-dom, he was very good at using it for pleasure or using it to cause real pain. Even if it was for pleasure, it left marks, broke skin. I don't know how it happens, I guess he was really good at prepping to put me in the right state to receive pleasure from it. If his intention was to cause real pain, it wouldn't even leave any marks, because my pain tolerance is very low. And I feel pain with very little effort on his part.

And the reason why for pleasure seems to be more "brutal", is because I am cumming from it and he intensifies it, kinda like all part of forced orgasms and making your each cum a bigger monster than the previous one. Keeping intensifying it.

I get pleasure from doing my man's laundry. I just get pleasure from taking care of him in areas that I could, so I can imagine if ironing shoe laces was one of his needs, and it's such a small deal to do it for me, it would bring pleasure.



LilJuly76 -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (1/9/2016 3:38:42 PM)

for me getting into subspace with an experienced Dominant that can get me there is ten times better than sex or chocolate could ever be. However the drop the next day is the pits, but if you are involved with someone that takes care of you, it won't be a problem.



NotImTempting -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (1/10/2016 5:08:54 AM)

If it happens during sex or sexual play, I find it erotic and euphoric.

If I'm stressed, sometimes I use a paper clip at work. It hurts and the pain helps me to relax and I can focus on my current issue.

If pain is not your fetish then don't let someone try to make it. That's what hard limits are for.



LilJuly76 -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (1/10/2016 6:57:12 AM)

not everyone likes the S & M stuff, I started out as a service submissive, it wasn't until 10 years ago that I found out I liked some of the "pain stuff."



DocStrange -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (1/17/2016 11:33:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: louisboy

I'm a gay 24/7 personal servant type guy. I understand the need to obey and serve a Master. A guy giving an order----Oh, GOD, LOVE IT. YEAH!!!--- I can easily grasp that aspect. But gay life is mostly vanilla. I was considered "hard core". The thing I've never got was the whips, chains, and pain thing. As I understand it, it's one of two things, or both.
#1. you allow the Master to do whatever he wishes as an act of TOTAL obedience,
#2. the whips, chains and pain thing are a sort of aphrodisiac .
Where am I right and where am I wrong?

I'm sure some wouldn't understand the high of ironing a guy's shoe laces every night. We live in the town of needing to obey and serve, but we live on different streets.

I would say there are no absolutes. Meaning it is not just #1 or #2 but it can be either, both, non at all or the dynamic can be something else. The keying is finding someone with similar interests as yourself. If you are not into pain but your Master likes to inflict a lot of pain, you will not be a good match. So you will need to find someone who is more of what you are seeking.

On the pain thing, pain is not the same for all people. I am no masochist but have a moderate to high pain threshold for many forms of play. For what some consider painful, I do not feel pain. I feel an adrenaline rush of sorts. I enjoy the mix of both pain and pleasure. A talented Dom(me) is able to take me to the point where I am no longer able to tell the different between pain and pleasure. And this is one serious mind fuck at that point.



sunshinemiss -> RE: I don't understand the pain thing. (1/17/2016 1:07:02 PM)

Have you ever had a massage? One of those that kind of hurts but it also feels really good? Or had someone scratch your back and it was kind of ouchy but also kind of a relief? Have you ever had sex that was awesome but a little rougher than you might have liked but gosh you sure didn't want to stop?

It's like that. Some folks like some stuff, some folks don't.



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