How To Approach a Mistress (Full Version)

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boytoy4u628 -> How To Approach a Mistress (11/17/2015 1:22:06 PM)

Hello to all reading,

My question is to all of the Female Dominants out there; What is the best way to approach a Dominant in terms of a first inbox message? If possible, could you share examples of bad/good first messages that people have sent you? I am asking because I am new to the community and I would like to know the proper etiquette that is preferred.

Thanks,

BT4U




malefica -> RE: How To Approach a Mistress (11/17/2015 1:27:33 PM)

Don't go in dick-first. Don't fawn over them, don't put them on a pedestal, but be as respectful as you would to someone you were approaching completely at random in any other situation. Realise that they are not a fetish delivery system. Look for common interests; an example could be that you both like museums, or that you both enjoy horse riding. Demonstrate that you want to get to know her as a person first, then perhaps as a Mistress if it works out that way.




ATLBlackFemDom -> RE: How To Approach a Mistress (11/17/2015 2:45:56 PM)

Think of it in the same manner if you were approaching a woman in vanilla. That is my advice. Basic, respectful, human interaction should take a backseat just because she is a Dom/Mistress.




FieryOpal -> RE: How To Approach a Mistress (11/17/2015 5:14:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoy4u628

My question is to all of the Female Dominants out there; What is the best way to approach a Dominant in terms of a first inbox message?


Along with what the other ladies have already stated, I understand you are more concerned with how to approach a Domme. Keeping in mind that you are a switch, approach Dominant women as you would any woman, whether she is Domme, switch, sub, or vanilla--the common denominator here is woman, specifically how a gentleman should treat any lady.

quote:

I am asking because I am new to the community and I would like to know the proper etiquette that is preferred.

I'm not going to pull any punches, because that would do you a disservice. It makes no difference whether you are 21 (which you are) or 55, whether you are contacting a lady in her 20s, 30s, 40s, or older (please just don't contact women old enough to be your mother unless the woman has indicated she is interested in much younger men. That grosses some of us out!)...

1. Put some clothes on. You're a total stranger, and we don't want to see three pictures of your dick. At this point, it doesn't matter what you would write to me, even if you did match up in age and location. Not interested.

2. (a) The caged one is especially offensive to women who are not into chastity practices. Many Dommes are not, and I personally find your caged cock main profile pic to be offensive. [:'(] This is also not going to appeal to most switch women.
2. (b) You can forget about a sub woman giving you the time of day. This would turn off even the ones who would bother to possibly consider a [Dom-leaning] switch, unless they're newbies who don't know the difference.

3. As a switch, you already have the odds stacked against you. Male switches are typically not regarded as being "submissive enough" for a Domme to want to own, nor "Dominant enough" to become a submissive woman's Master.

4. Read through the entire profile and most if not all of her journal entries. Some women, like myself, have a key word or key phrase that must be contained in any contact message to show that you took the time to learn something about us as an individual.

quote:

If possible, could you share examples of bad/good first messages that people have sent you?

That's a lot of ground to cover, so I'll focus on the DO-NOTs.

- DO NOT attach a socially inappropriate photo to your message. We didn't ask you for one, did we? Refer to Item 1 above, as pertaining to your choice of profile photos because that's the first impression you make. This is what I always say: A person only gets ONE chance to make a favorable FIRST impression.

- DO NOT exhibit standard male laziness/ineptitude by writing 1-word messages: Hi, Hello, Holla
- DO NOT exhibit standard male laziness/ineptitude by writing 2-3 word messages: Good day, Good evening, Hi there, Nice pics, How are you? May I speak?

- DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES bulk mail out generic intro messages that show you are too lazy and inconsiderate to take the time to personalize your message.

- Expect these kinds of messages to get Deleted Unread, and to find yourself getting Blocked. Nothing personal; you get what you (don't) give.




boytoy4u628 -> RE: How To Approach a Mistress (11/17/2015 7:23:52 PM)

Thanks a ton for all of your responses :) very helpful and I will keep all of your advice in mind. My next question would be, then, what type of picture I should have, if I am not trying to show my face for discretionary purposes.





AAkasha -> RE: How To Approach a Mistress (11/17/2015 10:02:49 PM)

Get rid of the dick pick in your profile.




EdgeQueen -> RE: How To Approach a Mistress (11/17/2015 10:14:38 PM)

Example of a bad first message... "Kneels" (yes, that was the whole thing. No I was not impressed at his attempt at "respect").
Example of a good first message... "Hello, I saw that you are interested in building a poly household. I've never experienced non-monogamy myself but I find the idea encompasses many of my values and life goals. I also live in BC, in the XXX area. If you're not too far away I'd love the chance to get to know you. Hope you're having a magnificent day."

As to what sort of picture, you don't have to put your face in it, but have some clothes on and make sure the room around you is presentable (I can't tell you how many subs I've seen who claim to want to serve who's homes look like they couldn't find a broom with both hands and a map).




malefica -> RE: How To Approach a Mistress (11/18/2015 4:47:22 AM)

A nice, smart suit will always catch the attention faster than a cock-shot.




Lucylastic -> RE: How To Approach a Mistress (11/18/2015 6:55:05 AM)

quote:

Don't go in dick-first.

Best advice ever... in five simple words




blnymph -> RE: How To Approach a Mistress (11/23/2015 1:27:49 PM)

[sm=agree.gif]

[sm=goodpost.gif]

good manners never do harm - this works both ways




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