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Trouble In A Relationship - 11/18/2015 10:24:12 AM

MikeRaven

Posts: 40
Joined: 9/19/2015
Status: offline

I actually met a fellow switch from the other side. We live near each other and I took her out to dinner. She seems like a very nice person and we spent several hours just at the restaurant chatting. She seemed to enjoy herself. On our second date I took her to a different restaurant and we chatted more and I got to know her better.

I called her for our third date and she said she is going through some rough times. She asked if I wanted to play and intimate with her and I said yes. She said she doesn't need to be taken to nice restaurants. Instead of spending the $100 on food and drinks, just give it to her and she will come to my place.

I told her that sounds like an Escort and I'm not interested in it. I'm not looking just for sex. She said she wouldn't watch the clock and what we have is much more meaningful than just sex. Besides, Escorts charge triple the amount so she isn't doing it just for the money. It's me helping her out. So I agreed.

She came to my place, I gave her $100, and we had a wonderful time. She didn't look at the clock and she stayed several hours. She seemed to really enjoy herself.

I called her back to go to an amusement park, but no play or intimacy or going back to my place. She said she would love to but she is so busy that she can't do that just right now. But would love to in the future.

Several days later I called her back for play. I paid her the $100 and we had a great time. I've played with her about 10x but things changed. Each time she left a little bit earlier.

Now she just spends 50 minutes and leaves. I asked her if she still enjoys our time together and she said yes. I asked her why is she leaving so early? She gave me valid excuses. I told her it seems to me that it's just a job for her. Why doesn't she enjoy it like she used to? She swears she enjoys it just as much. But I don't see it.

So now I'm confused. Why can't she enjoy herself like she used to? Why does she have to treat it like a job? She told me she isn't seeing anyone else. I'm not seeing anyone else either.

I'm being completely honest with you when I'm saying she thoroughly enjoyed herself in the beginning. It wasn't until the last two times she treated it like a job. But then she said this isn't true. She said I'm misinterpreting things.

< Message edited by MikeRaven -- 11/18/2015 10:26:20 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/18/2015 10:31:40 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

I'm being completely honest with you when I'm saying she thoroughly enjoyed herself in the beginning.

You never know what is going on in someone else's head. Maybe she was and maybe she wasn't and is a good actor.

A points:

1) You call this a "relationship" it's not. It's a business transaction.

2) You can try to spin this any way you want, but the reality is that she's a prostitute...and you apparently got the "girlfriend experience" quite cheaply for the first few sessions.

3) For all you know she's got 50 guys that she's doing this with.

Seriously, the LA/OC County has tons of events with large amounts of attendees. It's a great way to meet people.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MikeRaven)

Post #: 2

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/18/2015 3:16:52 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

I've often always thought about this part too. What's the difference, spending money on dinner and wine and fancy hotel rooms, than just skipping that, and paying the money.

Things in my country is more expensive. A dinner out would be $300 to $400. A nice five star hotel would be $400. So let's say he would have spent $800, when he could have just spent $100 on a prostitute for sex. I mean, you can get prostitutes for $50 here too.

But anyway, men are always willing to spend more as long as they don't need to hand over cash to the woman. So that's just the way it is.

Your situation is tough, as clearly you feel something is lacking. You can tell her that if she wants her $100, she gotta be spending more time with you, or it will be back to spending that $100 on dinners lol. I mean, that's what I seriously will do if I were you, to see her reaction. How-ever she reacts, I would ask her to be straight with me, that, is she just spending time with me, just to get the money, or does she actually enjoy my company? Look into the eyes and see the truth. Be prepared for the truth.

Also, what you can do, is only meet up with her, when she has no distraction. Tell her you only want long sessions with her, if she's distracted or got other things to get to, then that's a bad day to hook up.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 11/18/2015 3:17:20 PM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 3

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/18/2015 3:40:54 PM

JanahX

Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline

What Oside Girl said - you're seeing/paying a hooker. Look up the definition in the dictionary and come back and tell us if it describes what is going on between you two. You might not of know what this word meant. As far as I can tell, you thought BDSM was the definition of prostitution. - ITS HARD TO KNOW THESE THINGS. I wait anxiously for your reply.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to MikeRaven)

Post #: 4

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/18/2015 5:33:42 PM

MikeRaven

Posts: 40
Joined: 9/19/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

What Oside Girl said - you're seeing/paying a hooker. Look up the definition in the dictionary and come back and tell us if it describes what is going on between you two. You might not of know what this word meant. As far as I can tell, you thought BDSM was the definition of prostitution. - ITS HARD TO KNOW THESE THINGS. I wait anxiously for your reply.

One definition of prostitution is: Prostitution is the business or practice of engaging in sexual relations in exchange for payment or some other benefit. But then a lot of relationships and marriages are nothing but prostitution. If one marries another for financial security does that mean they can't have a meaningful relationship?

All strippers, webcam women, sex phone operators, and type of sex workers are prostitutes. Does that mean they can't have meaningful relationships?

I know a BDSM club that you have to pay money to get into. They offer a sex show. So everyone involved is a prostitute?

I'm really confused.

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 5

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/18/2015 5:37:48 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

All strippers, webcam women, sex phone operators, and type of sex workers are prostitutes. Does that mean they can't have meaningful relationships?

They're not having a meaningful relationship with their customers. They're conducting business.

The key here is that the only way she wants to hang with you is when you're paying her.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MikeRaven)

Post #: 6

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/18/2015 5:45:17 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven
I'm really confused.

I got a solution for you.

Just ask her if she's willing to spend time with you, IF you aren't paying her? If she says yes, tell her to prove it and do it.

Also maybe ask more indepthly about what kind of financial troubles is she facing, and whether there is anything you can do to help her deal with it better, besides just monetary help.

I think forget about the prostitution bit. Whether it is or is it not. Just deal with her as a human being. And most importantly, how can you make her feel comfortable enough to be completely transparent and honest with you.

(in reply to MikeRaven)

Post #: 7

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/18/2015 6:35:14 PM

MissKatya

Posts: 341
Joined: 12/21/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

I actually met a fellow switch from the other side. We live near each other and I took her out to dinner. She seems like a very nice person and we spent several hours just at the restaurant chatting. She seemed to enjoy herself. On our second date I took her to a different restaurant and we chatted more and I got to know her better.

I called her for our third date and she said she is going through some rough times. She asked if I wanted to play and intimate with her and I said yes. She said she doesn't need to be taken to nice restaurants. Instead of spending the $100 on food and drinks, just give it to her and she will come to my place.

I told her that sounds like an Escort and I'm not interested in it. I'm not looking just for sex. She said she wouldn't watch the clock and what we have is much more meaningful than just sex. Besides, Escorts charge triple the amount so she isn't doing it just for the money. It's me helping her out. So I agreed.

She came to my place, I gave her $100, and we had a wonderful time. She didn't look at the clock and she stayed several hours. She seemed to really enjoy herself.

I called her back to go to an amusement park, but no play or intimacy or going back to my place. She said she would love to but she is so busy that she can't do that just right now. But would love to in the future.

Several days later I called her back for play. I paid her the $100 and we had a great time. I've played with her about 10x but things changed. Each time she left a little bit earlier.

Now she just spends 50 minutes and leaves. I asked her if she still enjoys our time together and she said yes. I asked her why is she leaving so early? She gave me valid excuses. I told her it seems to me that it's just a job for her. Why doesn't she enjoy it like she used to? She swears she enjoys it just as much. But I don't see it.

So now I'm confused. Why can't she enjoy herself like she used to? Why does she have to treat it like a job? She told me she isn't seeing anyone else. I'm not seeing anyone else either.

I'm being completely honest with you when I'm saying she thoroughly enjoyed herself in the beginning. It wasn't until the last two times she treated it like a job. But then she said this isn't true. She said I'm misinterpreting things.

Dude...we get it-you like to be financially dominated. You pass the responsibility of being financially dominated by coming up with these elaborate stories of women "playing you".

It's like the "forced bi" guys who claim they are completely straight but are willing to suck cock if any woman tells them to do it...because a woman is telling them to do it, therefore they have no choice.

I know a role-play scenario when I see one. This reeks of it.

But yeah...good luck.

_____________________________

"The desire to inflict pain, that is all that is uppermost"-Albert Fish

(in reply to MikeRaven)

Post #: 8

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/19/2015 5:42:22 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MikeRaven

I actually met a fellow switch from the other side. We live near each other and I took her out to dinner. She seems like a very nice person and we spent several hours just at the restaurant chatting. She seemed to enjoy herself. On our second date I took her to a different restaurant and we chatted more and I got to know her better.

I called her for our third date and she said she is going through some rough times. She asked if I wanted to play and intimate with her and I said yes. She said she doesn't need to be taken to nice restaurants. Instead of spending the $100 on food and drinks, just give it to her and she will come to my place.

I told her that sounds like an Escort and I'm not interested in it. I'm not looking just for sex. She said she wouldn't watch the clock and what we have is much more meaningful than just sex. Besides, Escorts charge triple the amount so she isn't doing it just for the money. It's me helping her out. So I agreed.

So, by the third date, what you had was "much more meaningful than just sex"? I'm not going for it but if you are, ok.

quote:

She came to my place, I gave her $100, and we had a wonderful time. She didn't look at the clock and she stayed several hours. She seemed to really enjoy herself.

Ever hear of the expression 'the hook' or 'the taste'? Basically, it's giving you way more than what you are paying for to hook you as a customer.

quote:

I called her back to go to an amusement park, but no play or intimacy or going back to my place. She said she would love to but she is so busy that she can't do that just right now. But would love to in the future.

This is the point where she no longer wanted to spend time with you. When is the last time this person spent time with you without being paid?

quote:

Several days later I called her back for play. I paid her the $100 and we had a great time. I've played with her about 10x but things changed. Each time she left a little bit earlier.

Yes, because she knows you are repeat business now. She doesn't have to invest as much time.

quote:

Now she just spends 50 minutes and leaves. I asked her if she still enjoys our time together and she said yes. I asked her why is she leaving so early? She gave me valid excuses. I told her it seems to me that it's just a job for her. Why doesn't she enjoy it like she used to? She swears she enjoys it just as much. But I don't see it.

What did you think she was going to tell you? "No, I'm not really having fun but since I leave with a hundred bucks each time, I keep doing it." That shatters the illusion that's been created and one of the reasons you keep paying her. She probably is having fun but she's not turning down the money, is she?

quote:

So now I'm confused. Why can't she enjoy herself like she used to? Why does she have to treat it like a job? She told me she isn't seeing anyone else. I'm not seeing anyone else either.

Just a wild guess here. Maybe because the two of you made it a job? As soon as you made it a business transaction (at her suggestion) that's exactly what it became.

quote:

I'm being completely honest with you when I'm saying she thoroughly enjoyed herself in the beginning. It wasn't until the last two times she treated it like a job. But then she said this isn't true. She said I'm misinterpreting things.

OK. Be honest. If she treated it like she wasn't enjoying herself in the beginning, would you have been willing to pay her?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MikeRaven)

Post #: 9

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/19/2015 6:24:40 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Fast Reply:

You're paying her, she spends time with you, hey, she might even be enjoying herself, but you're still paying.

On the bright side, you wouldn't get an outcall for $100, so in that respect you got a great deal. You can decide that you don't want to pay or you could say "I'd spend that money anyway on a date without a guarantee to get my rocks off, so I spend $100 on a sure thing!"

Even if you wouldn't be paying her, if she just wants to meet for play without pay, it would be a booty call and not a relationship.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 10

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/19/2015 6:28:10 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Fast Reply:

You're paying her, she spends time with you, hey, she might even be enjoying herself, but you're still paying.

On the bright side, you wouldn't get an outcall for $100, so in that respect you got a great deal. You can decide that you don't want to pay or you could say "I'd spend that money anyway on a date without a guarantee to get my rocks off, so I spend $100 on a sure thing!"

Even if you wouldn't be paying her, if she just wants to meet for play without pay, it would be a booty call and not a relationship.

Hey... wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute... HEY!!!

Are you, somehow, implying that my subscription to porn hub is prostitution and not a relationship? (there should be a 'Bitch' in there somewhere, but I'm not sure if it should've been at the beginning, middle, or end... so you decide.)

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 11

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/19/2015 6:31:17 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

As long as you aren't paying your hand if you watch Porn Hub, it's not prostitution ;)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 12

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/19/2015 6:35:55 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

As long as you aren't paying your hand if you watch Porn Hub, it's not prostitution ;)

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 13

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/19/2015 6:41:52 AM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

Who still pays for porn? What is this? The 80s?

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 14

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/19/2015 6:43:10 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Who still pays for porn? What is this? The 80s?

It does cost a bit to hack your cam.

Jus sayin

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 15

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/19/2015 6:49:53 AM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

Well what the hell! How haven't I seen any of that cash?!

Let me go talk to my manager...

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 16

RE: Trouble In A Relationship - 11/19/2015 6:53:07 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

Well what the hell! How haven't I seen any of that cash?!

Let me go talk to my manager...

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to shiftyw)

Post #: 17

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