RE: Help me with my depressive sub

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OsideGirl -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/23/2015 10:18:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze But bipolar tends to be genetic, I'm thinking that the father might also be bipolar and trying to "self-medicate" with booze, as you mentionedm bipolar and substance abuse tend to go hand in hand... That's very true, but we only have the word of an unmedicated bi-polar. It's one side of the story. So, until I knew that from my own intelligence, I would take it with a grain of salt.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/23/2015 10:39:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze But bipolar tends to be genetic.... According to this NHS site: The exact cause of bipolar disorder is unknown. Experts believe there are a number of factors that work together to make a person more likely to develop the condition. There seems to be very little tangible evidence that it is inherently genetic. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze Unfortunately it also often gets worse and worse with each new generation, especially if it comes from both sides. I can't find anything to substantiate this statement even where genetics are mentioned as a possible cause of bipolar.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/23/2015 11:12:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1 quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze But bipolar tends to be genetic.... According to this NHS site: The exact cause of bipolar disorder is unknown. Experts believe there are a number of factors that work together to make a person more likely to develop the condition. There seems to be very little tangible evidence that it is inherently genetic. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze Unfortunately it also often gets worse and worse with each new generation, especially if it comes from both sides. I can't find anything to substantiate this statement even where genetics are mentioned as a possible cause of bipolar. Trusting the NHS is a bit like having a death wish, and if that is your only source of information, best of luck, I'm alive because I managed to leave the country several times because each and every time they spectacularly fucked up. While I like the principle of the NHS decades of defunding (starting with Maggie) has turned it in something that's close to useless because they simply don't have the money and are about 50 years behind. I'd love to have a functioning NHS and would be willing to actually pay more for it, several doctors I'm friends with say they have their hands tied as they are so limited with the medication they are allowed to give, they know that for a lot of people generics don't work due to the fillers, however the system and the budget ties their hands and GPs are actually encouraged to not refer patients to specialists... http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-disorder-causes quote: Bipolar disorder seems to often run in families and there appears to be a genetic part to this mood disorder. There is also growing evidence that environment and lifestyle issues have an effect on the disorder's severity. Stressful life events -- or alcohol or drug abuse -- can make bipolar disorder more difficult to treat. http://www.rethink.org/diagnosis-treatment/conditions/bipolar-disorder/causes quote: Genetics (physical) If someone in your immediate family (parents, brother or sister) has bipolar disorder, you are five to ten times more likely to develop bipolar disorder than someone who has no family history. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/basics/risk-factors/con-20027544 quote: Risk factors By Mayo Clinic Staff Factors that may increase the risk of developing bipolar disorder or act as a trigger for the first episode include: Having a first-degree relative, such as a parent or sibling, with bipolar disorder Periods of high stress Drug or alcohol abuse Major life changes, such as the death of a loved one or other traumatic experiences It's pretty well researched that genetic factors (i.e. preposition to have cancer due to genes) tend to get more aggressive with each generation it is passed on, for example the grandparent might have a certain type of cancer around the age of 80, the father or mom usually get it around 60, the next generation even earlier, it's simply nature's way of making sure the fault is eliminated by in the end just eliminating the genetic carrier. You get pretty much the same thing with any disease that is genetic, heart problems, etc. Just the way nature works. If bipolar doesn't have at least some genetic link, then why has anybody with a family member who is bipolar a much higher risk factor? Of course not every case of bipolar is genetic, just like not every type of cancer is, but if you have the genetic disposition, i.e. it runs in the family... The more we know about genetics, the more we can do about it, for example if you know that you're at risk for a certain type of cancer as one or several family members had it, the more screening you can do and now you can even get genetic testing. If you do know that for example in your family there is a strong risk for bowel cancer, you can adjust your diet and lower the risk, same with things like heart problems, etc. If you know you're carrying a genetic bipolar risk, you can try to eliminate certain risk factors. It's pretty simple medical science.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/23/2015 11:34:08 AM)
I quoted that particular source but it was one of many I read (including most of what you cited). There are theories that genetics may play a part but I've not seen anything conclusive that it is genetics AND that they get worse with every generation. But, like an abusive environment tends to lead to even more abusive behaviour from the offspring, the bipolar environment is also more than likely to trigger bipolar behaviour in offspring. It's no more likely to be 'genetic' than that and there doesn't seem to be any conclusive studies to prove your opinion. Webmd seems to support my position (the bit you quoted), as does mayoclinic. Rethink seem to be a skewed website. Much of what you said and what is contained in the sites you cited is inconclusive and unproven. Most experts seem to think that it is societal factors more than anything, combined with situations like stress and anxiety that is the predominant cause or trigger of bipolar. In short, your post looks to be unnecessarily scare-mongering.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/23/2015 12:30:56 PM)
If you think so and decide to twist the facts so they suit you and deliberately ignore the fact that the medical research suggests there is a genetic link, up to you, you know I spent 3 years as a postgrad in a rather fabulous clinic (the European Heart Center, now merged with the European Society of Cardiology) where there was a whole department of professors just studying the genetic links and risk factors how genetics are related to cardiovascular problems and they all came to that conclusion. Since you decided it's fear mongering, inconclusive and unproven, would you mind letting me know your medical credentials and please make sure to also inform the European Society of Cardiology, I'm sure they are delighted to know that they are all wrong... If you keep up with the development of modern medicine, you would have heard about certain facts. But hey, if you think that every website who mentions (in the first place) that genetics are a risk factor supports your position that genetics are not a risk factor, then there is really no point arguing with somebody who doesn't recognize logic. You might want to look up "proof of concept" in medicine, very strong theories and established methods of treatment aren't considered proven, even if they use the treatment routinely before not all scientific parameters are established. Our bodies have thousands of chemical and electrical reactions, mental illnesses aren't all that different from other problems, certain types of cancer are linked to genetic defects, it's pretty naive to believe that mental illnesses are something completely else (it's a chemical imbalance), yes you can get colon cancer from living unhealthy but you can also inherit the gene. So if you are genetically disposed to have a chemical imbalance that leads to bipolar, you will need a lot less of a trigger than somebody who does not have the genetic disposition. That's simply being proactive and trying to stay healthy In case you still think it's fear mongering, I suggest you look up breed related problems in animals, due to their shorter life-span and faster reproductive cycle it's a lot easier to collect the medical data. And here are a few peer reviewed publications regarding the genetic link of bipolar, you could easily have found them yourself http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14978466 http://jmg.bmj.com/content/36/8/585.full http://www.nature.com/ng/journal/v12/n4/abs/ng0496-427.html Tons more about... You know academical and medical research is very expensive and needs funding, they wouldn't get funding without pretty solid reason

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/23/2015 1:13:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze If you think so and decide to twist the facts so they suit you and deliberately ignore the fact that the medical research suggests there is a genetic link, up to you, you know I spent 3 years as a postgrad in a rather fabulous clinic (the European Heart Center, now merged with the European Society of Cardiology) where there was a whole department of professors just studying the genetic links and risk factors how genetics are related to cardiovascular problems and they all came to that conclusion. Different ball of wax. We are talking bipolar here, not cardiovascular problems. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze Since you decided it's fear mongering, inconclusive and unproven, would you mind letting me know your medical credentials and please make sure to also inform the European Society of Cardiology, I'm sure they are delighted to know that they are all wrong... If you keep up with the development of modern medicine, you would have heard about certain facts. Same comment as above. I read the links you gave and also what you actually quoted and they seem to support my views more than your previous quote of "...But bipolar tends to be genetic" quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze But hey, if you think that every website who mentions (in the first place) that genetics are a risk factor supports your position that genetics are not a risk factor, then there is really no point arguing with somebody who doesn't recognize logic. I never said that genetics are not a risk factor - just that they are not the main source as you previously stated in that "... tends to be genetic". In fact, all of your links are saying quite the contrary: that there may or could be a genetic link (nothing conclusively proven) but more likely to be "environment and lifestyle issues have an effect on the disorder's severity". The only piece of 'evidence' in your links stated "There is also growing evidence that environment and lifestyle issues have an effect on the disorder's severity. Stressful life events -- or alcohol or drug abuse -- can make bipolar disorder more difficult to treat." which supports my opinion rather than yours. Perhaps you should read a little more carefully. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze You might want to look up "proof of concept" in medicine, very strong theories and established methods of treatment aren't considered proven, even if they use the treatment routinely before not all scientific parameters are established. Our bodies have thousands of chemical and electrical reactions, mental illnesses aren't all that different from other problems, certain types of cancer are linked to genetic defects, it's pretty naive to believe that mental illnesses are something completely else (it's a chemical imbalance), yes you can get colon cancer from living unhealthy but you can also inherit the gene. So if you are genetically disposed to have a chemical imbalance that leads to bipolar, you will need a lot less of a trigger than somebody who does not have the genetic disposition. That's simply being proactive and trying to stay healthy Again, I never said that mental illnesses are completely different. But like most people on this planet, until someone comes up with clinical evidence to show that there is a genetic defect that causes bipolar and that it tends to be genetic rather than could be genetic, I still say you are overstating something that is unproven and certainly not of the "tends to be" order of importance that you implied. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze In case you still think it's fear mongering, I suggest you look up breed related problems in animals, due to their shorter life-span and faster reproductive cycle it's a lot easier to collect the medical data. And this has precisely what to do with bipolar may I ask?? Let's take your links and take something from each of them.... http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14978466: Bipolar disorder genetics has progressed rapidly in the last few decades. However, specific causal genetic mutations for bipolar disorder have not been identified. So.... not been identified = no proof at all. http://jmg.bmj.com/content/36/8/585.full: No gene has yet been identified but promising findings are emerging. That means inconclusive or unproven as yet. http://www.nature.com/ng/journal/v12/n4/abs/ng0496-427.html: Strong support for a genetic aetiolog is found in the familial nature of the condition, th increased concordance of monozygotic ove dizygotic twins2 and adoption studies showing increased rates of illness in children of affecte parents3. However, linkage studies have met wit mixed success. An initial report of linkage on th short arm of chromosome 11 (ref. 4) was revised5 and remains unreplicated. Mixed success plus unreplicated = inconclusive. Studies were only carried out in 12 families.... out of 7 billion people on this earth, is that realistic???? quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze You know academical and medical research is very expensive and needs funding, they wouldn't get funding without pretty solid reason They only fund stuff (usually by big pharmaceutical companies) because they think there might be some huge profit in the long run. ETA: As for the OP, her sub has a condition that she cannot cope with and certainly does not have the expertise to deal with - that's the simple answer.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/23/2015 1:57:02 PM)
Simple answer is you have no idea about science, medicine, genetics but you cherry pick while neglecting facts that link it to chromosomes. Btw medical research isn't just funded by big pharma, a lot of research is funded by private donations or public funds. But keep on ignoring http://www.nature.com/ng/journal/v8/n3/abs/ng1194-291.html quote: Our results are consistent with the presence of a gene in 21q22.3 predisposing at least one family to bipolar disorder. Bipolar isn't bipolar, just like cancer isn't cancer, you got a ton of different strains but we know that it's all connected to the biochemistry and in a lot of cases auto-immune disorders that affect the bodychemistry. If you seriously believe that a chemical imbalance of the brain is something completely different and immune to genetics, you are arguing from a medical point of view that went out in the the 80's of the last century. One of the massive break throughs stem cell research has shown us is how much genetics can influence our chances of getting certain type of illnesses, as I said repeatedly, yes other factors also play a role but if there is a genetic weakness, you are much more likely to get it. For example if somebody in your immediate family died of lung cancer and you smoke, you're an idiot with a death wish, if you have somebody who had bowel cancer and you eat junk food and tons of beef, the very same principle applies. If you have somebody in your immediate family who's bipolar and you use substances, subject yourself to a lot of stress, etc., you are helping the chemical imbalance along. The fact that you have a higher risk factor does not mean you automatically get something, it means that you have the CHANCE to take all precautions and lower your risk factor with the right life-style, that's what modern medical research is about.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/23/2015 2:26:27 PM)
Sorry LC, I just quoted the pertinent bits from your own links. The fact that you don't like what I pointed out isn't my problem. Every single link you've made does not enhance your idea that bipolar "tends to be genetic". I'm not arguing that it might, or that genetics may have an influence; just that your emphatic statement that it "tends to be genetic..." is very much overstating the facts as we know them at present. None of your links provide any evidence or proof at all, just conjecture and theories to date and not even any decent case studies that show conclusive results.... not a single one. Even your quote says: "Our results are consistent with the presence of a gene in 21q22.3 predisposing at least one family to bipolar disorder." Just ONE result about the presence of ONE gene in ONE family. So they found a defective gene in a single family that they think might be the genetic clue to bipolar. That is certainly not any sort of proof to be crowing about. And again, I did not say that a chemical imbalance of the brain is completely different and immune to genetics - that would be your twist on words that I did not say. And again, I'm not arguing that circumstances and certain environments may not help the situation/condition. What I am arguing is your standpoint that "bipolar tends to be genetic" is overstating something that has yet to be proven; either by scientific or case study. As I said, out of 7 billion people on this mudball, they have found just ONE presence of A gene in ONE family. That's hardly a realistic or sensible sample size to base your whole argument on. You seem to have a love of attaching a lot of irrelevant and disconnected waffle when challenged on something. In this day and age, anyone can find something, somewhere, that proves or counters just about any argument on any virtually any topic you can dream of. Everyone has a risk of something, somewhere, that may be improved by a change of diet or lifestyle - that wasn't my argument.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/23/2015 3:32:27 PM)
Actually it does but if you decide to ignore it, that's your - not very scientific - interpretation Btw RESULTS are plural and if you did read through the peer reviewed studies, the problem was that too many things were lumped in as "bipolar" due to the fact that for ages they lumped far too much together as biopolar. The reason why I'm quite familiar with it is a research project at the university, not funded by big pharma, dealing with the side effects of the drugs used to treat bipolar disorders, due to lack of funding, I offered to translate a couple of studies (bit of a background in that and several degrees) as the doctors are fairly international, they are trying to find the exact genetic code as everything points to genetics but it will be a theory until they cracked the code. As for one family, it doesn't mean a family unit as we know it, like one family as in the Smiths or Jonses, but one family strain of known bipolar disease. What you consider irrelevant and disconnected waffle, some academics consider scientific research and repeating patterns, while repeating patterns are not enough to offer conclusive proof, they are considered valuable research evidence, enough to treat people. You do know that there is no conclusive proof how exactly aspirin acts, despite all research still a lot of theories, yet nobody discounts the effectiveness for certain conditions. Check out all genetic related diseases and look for the pattern, you will find that in most cases (there is always the introduction of new genes that might overcome the faulty gene) the hereditary progress happens earlier with the following generations, it's pretty easy to pinpoint that down to evolution and nature trying to get rid of a defective strain before it can be passed on. It's how evolution happened, trial and error and "mother nature" cleaning up mistakes, not a complicated principle. If you want go back to European aristocracy and look for the mental illnesses that were often passed on, they didn't label them as bipolar, but you can see it happening earlier and earlier through time until finally people weren't able to pass it on. Most of the medical problems we deal with today are things people used to die from anyway and it was considered old age, due to modern medicine what was considered a "natural death" has changed. A pretty simplified article is here https://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/longing-for-a-past-that-never-existed/ Personally I believe alternative health has a lot to offer, when in tandem with conventional medicine (we are currently rediscovering treatments that were put away as "dark ages"), there just is no point denying how far we have come in genetic research and claiming that tons of evidence means nothing as long as there is no scientific proof, is just denying people the chance to be able to make amends for genetic problems. Find me any doctor who will say "Oh your dad/mom/brother/sister is bipolar, you have no risk as there is no genetic link" - please do...

Oneechan -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/23/2015 7:24:22 PM)
these are all very interesting replies, thank you. I'm making sure he knows taking his medication is mandatory, and ensuring it's done every day, i'm also making him call up the doctors to arrange things. Regarding abuse/violence. It was a shocking incident, mentally. But i'm not wrried about physical violence, an interest in bodybuilding has made me considerably stronger than average, and i don't have a problem restraining him if need be His mother wants to meet me apparently, that should be interesting. perhaps she'll be able to yield greater insights into his condition and life

dreamlady -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/26/2015 7:31:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Oneechan As i mentioned, he is still quite young. Is there a chance of these conditions spontaneously resolving themselves as he grows older and wiser? or are they likely to be an issue forever About as likely as spontaneous combustion, and your domestic situation sounds like the perfect storm brewing. I was thinking that if you had posted this as a maleDom about a young live-in female sub, responding the way that you have been, you would have been read the riot act by now. Then I saw from your profile that you're a 27-year-old trans Dominant. This makes me more concerned about your sub's father being a violent alcoholic than his hating his mother. He has already gotten violent with you, and without medical intervention to get him stabilized, his unpredictably erratic behavior and violent episodes will escalate. You felt sorry for him because he had no place to stay, I take it. Not surprising considering that your sub burns his bridges. You won't force him to get the professional help he needs because he has no place to go where he can't pull on somebody else's heart strings. He burned his bridges with his family (with or without just cause), and whomever he's been living with since he left home. He will burn his bridges with you eventually. He's not steadily employable in his current state. He's too young to be getting disability benefits, so you are his primary source of support? As long as you don't upset his apple cart, then things will appear to go smoothly. Does he sit around all day playing video games? Not doing household chores, not picking up after himself? Not even taking out the trash unless he's reminded? What he needs is a structured, supervised environment, and even if you were a mental health professional, it would be a conflict of interest for you to treat him as your patient. What meds work best is a highly individualized process. It takes time to adjust to meds, to get the dosage right, to deal with side effects, and to be careful about drug interactions. One of the reasons why patients stop taking psychotropic meds is because it interferes with their using. He can't mix meds with alcohol or be smoking weed, etc., without risking a toxic reaction physiologically. Not only that, the combination of mental illness with substance abuse is considered dual diagnosis and requires a specialized treatment program in a licensed treatment center. If you are allowing him access to addictive and/or mind-altering substances in order for him to self-medicate, then you are making the situation worse not better. You are not his panacea - NOBODY IS - and left untreated, his mental illness will spiral out of control and drag you down with it in the process. DreamLady

littleclip -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/26/2015 10:33:38 PM)
at least in your case he knows he has bi polar I know one person that cycles back and forth and refuses to see it another case a male who admits to having adhd wont get medicine just uses soda causing other medical problems the condition can be worked with and controlled have to take the meds all the time and not stop when you feel not depressed

DesFIP -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/27/2015 2:39:18 PM)
Mood disorders in general have a high percentage of genetic involvement. The problem with figuring out the percentages is that most people don't admit to it. They deny the existence of crazy aunt Janice, never see or mention weird cousin Joe. Denial does not mean it doesn't exist. Children of suicides have almost a 5 times higher than normal rate of suicide themselves. Dreamlady is spot on about the problem of dual diagnosis. Alcohol and other drugs will interfere with the appropriate medications. But when you get used to 'normal' means drunk or high, then of course you won't take the right meds. Again, if he isn't committed to fixing his own life, there's nothing you can do.

Charles6682 -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/30/2015 1:53:47 PM)
I am a submissive who has had major depression for years. I would not wish this condition on anyone. Having clinical depression and anxiety is one of the worst experiences I have ever had. I don't really talk too much about my depression in BDSM groups but who really cares? Being a sub with depression, I don't need others to make conclusions without facts. I do know it can be treated and I prefer to surround myself around people who think positive.

Charles6682 -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/30/2015 1:59:58 PM)
I do take my depression meds as prescribed. That's one area I don't mess around with anymore. I forgot to renew my meds one day and I was out of meds. Within a few weeks, I could feel the difference. Taking my meds is really about my own well being.

littleclip -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (11/30/2015 6:37:33 PM)
yes i now take my meds regularly i think of it as so others can better deal with me before i was hit and miss i do miss the deep sub space but i do enjoy the smother energy as to the big waves i had before

WickedsDesire -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (12/20/2015 9:46:52 AM)
I have experienced chaos and havoc and carnage, here and there, to a far vaster degree. And known many others who also have, some a lot worse. I feel you merely have a taste of it, an appetiser. We are all broken, in our own ways...and the sum of all our experiences our worldly exposure...yet within lies embers or free will as I usually use that generic statement as it encompass lots...Sometimes it will lie forever below the surface and no matter how long, nor how hard you blow on the embers they will not come to light. Now I come wtih CFS M.E. as the regulars of my rambles know and I know many of them have similar lurgies..yes we get treated like lepers by some, and that irks me. But you know who and what he is. But you do not understand it, you do not have the capacity..for some words you have used and others. Some points 1. Before they diagnosis you with CFS M.E etc they say depression try these happy pills...I can assure you they do not make you happy. Indeed you can be made iller and people like me become hyper sensitive to many thingies and chemicals..thank thee gawds not chardonnay. 2. There is no real proof antidepressant works..the latest papers, some buried out of sight, I have read there is not a great difference between placebo versus happy pill..from my bad memory people with slight to moderate depression etc 40% said they felt better with the placebo and 50% with the happy bill...hmm why no more studies – big business at is most diabolical imo. 3. Pills work you take them...let me be clear on this. 4. No credible head doctor would have given up on him. Sometimes they just feel better and give up or sometimes they are not getting the answers their minds require and give up 5. People can almost never be fixed..as OsideGirl..more or less says that too. People are often are, all that they can ever be…refers you to placbo v meds 6. As I say if they work, or condition improves, or they are stabilized..they take them….but sometimes they stop as they feel better, and when they get like that it’s a fucking ( I will allow myself naughty word for gravitas) nightmare getting them to start taking them again You know what he is. As people always know what I am...not that I have always been ill. Since the beginning of time I accept people from the above line..always have always will and plates of muffins do you have any for me? Violence exists everywhere and verbal and physical abuse. I would imagine 90% of us have experienced it at some point, many points in time....some even returning the favours or being the heinous guilty party I draw the line at violence three strikes and there out...it is a very firm line. Verbal abuse I am more flexible on...but that is just me...and I can assure you I have not fixed one, they cannot be fixed...I just have time on my hands, and an open mind and awareness, and better me than them with someone else. These are my thoughts: leave him now...You asked I can assure you I am almost never wrong. They blame the world. But that aside some people are destructive or seek destructive relationships. And some people are vulnerable and they seek destruction

DesFIP -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (12/20/2015 10:09:39 AM)
SSRIs are not happy pills. Benzos, with the undesirable side effect of euphoria qualify for that. Lifting suicidal ideation doesn't leave you happy, it leaves you with a functional brain instead of one that can't think rationally. I responded within 3 days of taking Zoloft and needed 24 months. However SSRIs are not the best choice for bipolar, especially type II. They can cause hypomania. For unipolar depression, an 18 month course will lift depression for decades in 70% of patients. Another 15% will require up to 5 years and the last 15% will need to remain on them. Now, a small percentage of people do not respond to medication. For those, ECT is an option. Bipolar Type Is should try Depakote first. Type IIs respond very well to a combination of anti convulsants and atypical antipsychotics.

Jewelcrafter -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (12/28/2015 11:00:01 AM)
I was with someone that was diagnosed Bi-polar, depression, and PTSD. Our relationship was not of a BDSM style, though she did try to push it more towards that direction without understanding just what she was asking for. I wouldn't let her push it that way, even though it's something I wanted, because she wasn't in a mental state to do that, nor did she really understand the concept of D/s. Her understanding was mostly bedroom and I learned more limited than she claimed. We needed to talk more and I said so, but she was hesitant to talk about that side and more combative about anything else. Family and friends did not improve the situation as they tended to demonize me while at the same time saying I was the best thing she's had in a long time or ever. So have your guard up when speaking to his mother. She may have good intentions, but the tables can easily be turned. Also, your sub is most likely exaggerating things at home. An example from my ex, she claimed her parents were alcoholics but I didn't see that in her parents. Her father had anger issues and would raise his voice at the drop of a hat, but never drank (not anymore as I'm told). Her mother is more of a drunk than an alcoholic in my option. She drinks every night, even when you need to speak with her about something important and she can't handle very much before you can no longer talk to her. So while there may be some basis for what he is saying, it could be exaggerated as well. Medicine has a bad stigma and people just don't want to take it. They seem to think that what is wrong with them can be controlled or that they can eventually get off the medication. That isn't the case and I've to have that talk with both my mother and my ex. They are on this for life. The dosage is what is in question. How much do they need? That may take some time to get right but they also can't be changing their dosage every week or without the doctor's permission. Watch for that.

DesFIP -> RE: Help me with my depressive sub (12/28/2015 1:34:23 PM)
The fact that her father was a recovering alcoholic doesn't mean he's not an alcoholic. My ex is still an alcoholic, even though he's been in recovery for over 25 years. If he picked up a drink tomorrow, he would not have acquired the magical ability to drink normally due to the long break. He'd be right back where he started. There's no difference between a drunk and an alcoholic. If you don't understand even that very simple fact, I'm sure that the nuances of bipolar will escape you. And yes, there's a relationship between people with mood disorders, which bipolar is one of, and self medicating with alcohol and illegal drugs.

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