Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy their sexual needs


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy their sexual needs Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/25/2015 11:23:55 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
What does your analysis ("thinking") tell you when you bring up a wide variety of situations like this for discussion on a kink board where people love to banter, debate, etc. and no one even responds anymore to your questions? Not even trolls?


What are you blabbering about?

While the socks have taken over the forum, they're easily differentiated from me by anyone who knows a tiny bit about the English language, let alone the topics, and manner of response the trolls try to elicit.

The penultimate thread I authored was the one that turned into an interesting stalking conversation, and I terminated my participation in it the moment I was informed offline about some of the participants.
And the last one was a tutorial for gaining privacy when posting pictures to the chat side of the house.

I can't even remember a thread before that, but it was probably weeks prior (maybe even months).

All my threads are of sufficient general interest that many people generally respond, and I can't think of a thread where nobody has bothered to respond.
You clearly have your OPs confused.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/26/2015 2:12:26 AM   
dreamlady


Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Is it possible that some people are so impacted by not being wanted that the only way they feel people *want* to be with them is that they try to buy the affections/sexual gratification from others? Absolutely.

I haven't been keeping up with this thread regularly, but there doesn't seem to be a definitive answer as to why certain men (predominantly) will pay large amounts of money for sexual services.

Obviously, hordes of sailors on weekend shore leave are seeking instant gratification with the limited resources they have to work with, within the constraints of a relatively small, finite number of females available to score with. Getting instant sexual gratification on negotiable terms, or settling for what you can get, is the ubiquitous solution for the average whoremonger.

All practical considerations aside, your observation hits the nail on the head in many respects when dealing with habit patterns beyond sexual convenience and the purely circumstantial.

When it comes to women, we may not find it necessary to ever have to shell out money for sex, but don't we know far too many women who are accustomed to using sex as a commodity to barter for the attention and affections of men? There are women may feel they have little else going for them of so-called tangible value. This would apply to some men as well.

As for OP's question about if sex is so hard to come by, mainly NSA sex, it isn't nearly as difficult in frequency of opportunity as it used to be back in the day depending upon the circumstances, and affordability aside given inflationary costs. Let's stay with the vanilla preponderance of sex-for-pay.
If I as a woman had a (casual) sexual preference for a partner who had to basically meet a few basic criteria, what are the chances that I could find a willing male to meet those?
Probably much higher than a man would in finding a willing female, going by sheer numbers if I weren't overly choosy.

The wild card here is not so much wanting casual sex, whether it's affordable or comes at little to no cost. There are one-night stands to be had by either gender.
Because, with men, it isn't just the Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Mam mentality that motivates them out of sexual desperation, although this may seem to be the prevalent modus operandi of an excessive number of men.

Men tend to be more fetish-oriented. A lot of men cannot handle rejection at any level.
Paying for sex not only takes the pressure off of males in terms of performance anxiety (the goal of a paying client is not to please the female partner with his sexual prowess), but he in turn gets his commonplace vanilla fetish needs met.
Blonde, redhead, brunette, skinny, petite, BBW, big breasts, big ass, long legs, tall drink of water, having an Asian female fetish, or one for black women or Latinas, etc., . . . sexual "menu" type items, around-the-world, paying for time or paying per act, including kinky sex acts, the pricier overnight stay, the Girlfriend Experience; whatever combinations of these can be negotiated at a price.

When a man doesn't make a business arrangement out of getting his sexual intimacy needs met, then he has to step up to the plate with social relationship currency -- and for some men, that cost is one they either can't afford because they lack the right kind of currency, or don't have the relationship skills to pull off. Not to mention, there are just a whole bunch of guys who are either selfish lovers or else plain lousy in the sack.

Btw, we should probably cut the OP some slack here. He didn't come onto somebody else's thread with a bunch of charts and graphs to argue his points, and if OP's posting style or use of cartoon illustrations offends any other posters choosing to post here, they are free to skip over this discussion topic and devote their energies elsewhere.

DreamLady

_____________________________

Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/26/2015 4:45:42 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Why would it surprise anyone what people will pay.
All day, every day, people pay for sex with reputations, careers, scandals, freedom, dignity, decency and/or integrity.
Whats a bit o'loot compared to that?

"When I was just a little young boy,
Papa said "Son, you'll never get far,
I'll tell you the reason if you want to know,
'Cause child of mine, there isn't really very far to go"

Well baby, baby wants a gold diamond ring
Wants it more than most any old thing
Well when I get those jelly roll blues
Why I'd go and get anything in this world for you.

Down to the jewelry store packing a gun,
Says "Wrap it up. I think I'll take this one"
"A thousand dollars please," the jewelry man said
Dupree he said, "I'll pay this one off to you in lead"

Well you know son you just can't figure,
First thing you know you're gonna pull that trigger
And it's no wonder your reason goes bad -
Jelly roll will drive you stone mad

Judge said "Son, this gonna cost you some time"
Dupree said "Judge, you know that crossed my mind"
Judge said "Fact it's gonna cost you your life"
Dupree said "Judge, you know that seems to me to be about right"

Well baby, baby's gonna lose her sweet man
Dupree come out with a losing hand
Baby's gonna weep it up for awhile
Then go on out and find another sweet man's
Gonna treat her with style

Judge said "Son, I know your baby well
But that's a secret I can't never tell"
Dupree said "Judge, well it's well understood,
And you got to admit that that sweet, sweet jelly's so good"

Well you know son you just can't figure,
First thing you know you're gonna pull that trigger
And it's no wonder your reason goes bad,
Jelly roll will drive you stone mad

Same old story and I know it's been told,
Some like jelly jelly - some like gold
Many a man's done a terrible thing
Just to get baby that shiny diamond ring"

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to dreamlady)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/26/2015 8:05:06 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline 		WARNING: I am in a rush to bake some pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread for a get together so this post below may be haphazardly written - and may be confusing - even to someone with the sharp acumen of DreamLady herself, so I apologize in advance that I may need to explain myself later.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Obviously, hordes of sailors on weekend shore leave are seeking instant gratification with the limited resources they have to work with, within the constraints of a relatively small, finite number of females available to score with.

I agree with you, as usual, and, since you already have taken many of these topics to a level that I can only hope to aspire to, I may actually step out of bounds below, with my response to your post, by insinuating a level of complicity which will horrify most women, by my very pointed accusations that women know EXACTLY what they're doing as they try to take advantage of this sailors-in-port opportunity.

It is my presumption that sailors will be sailors when they arrive at a friendly harbor, but that they are highly constrained by the rules enforced in that particular den of iniquity. As long as those rules remain in force, the women can (and will) charge what the price will bear.

What has always fascinated me though, is that, almost universally, if you suddenly remove the enforcement of rules in that port, then women are ALWAYS the clear loser in this bargain (except from a procreation standpoint - which is an admittedly complicated argument - so I won't delve further into how women can actually "win" when the rules are broken).

So, women actually benefit GREATLY from the rules of engagement, which allow whatever price sailors pay for sex in that port of call.

As long as the rules are in force, women of the night can take advantage of men's inability to use their inherent force, and hence, their need to use artificial forms of barter to buy the sex they so greatly value.

< BEGIN SLIGHTLY OT ASIDE >
To the contrary, what happens when the money-for-sex rules are broken has always fascinated me, which is what men do to women when the rules are turned off.

Take, for example, what the Russian soldiers are known to have done in WWII to virtually every female (of any age) when "Berlin" was begrudgingly handed to them by the Germans in the summer of 1945; or, take what Japan openly did "to women" when they effectively "owned" all of Korea in the years after its annexation of 1905.

Historically, there's an extremely cogent reason rape is habitually included in the terms to describe when men concomitantly "pillage and plunder" a town they have just overrun.

When you turn off the rules, men turn into men, and that is not a pretty picture for the women of the world.

Luckily, that's why society invented the rule book by which we currently play.
In this rule book, men are shackled by the rules, so that they can't use their inherent physical strength to carry off the Sabines; they must use their strength of barter, which turns into money.

While Charlie Sheen physically is a rather weak boned man, his bartering strength under the 'rules system' rivals that of Genghis Khan, when it comes to choosing the pretties woman in the entire city of Bagdad to bed.

What I'm making an analogy to is that men highly value sex-with-women, and that men will take that when they physically can, and if they physically can't just take them (because of rule enforcement by other men who are protecting their women), then men resort to MONETARY FORCE to take their women.

Some men, like Odom, Fogle, and Sheen, have high monetary forces, so they can take almost any women willing to submit to those high monetary forces under the rules of engagement of prostitution.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Getting instant sexual gratification on negotiable terms, or settling for what you can get, is the ubiquitous solution for the average whoremonger.

I am almost always in violent agreement with you as you understand distinctions which most people don't even realize exist.

Historically, life's pleasures have been summarized to inherently include whoremongering (witness Genghis' famous quote for example, who is someone that didn't need to follow any rules but his own); but, even men who abide by society's rules will almost invariably include sexing women in their triumvirate pleasures of "wine, women, and song" (aka sex, and drugs, and rock 'n roll).

Given that we rarely see "sex-with-men" being listed as a primary pleasure in life for women, it should be abundantly clear that sex-with-women is a primary pleasure in life - hence - the high cost - and - the ubiquitous whoremongering from those with average means to pay for the pleasure.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
When it comes to women, we may not find it necessary to ever have to shell out money for sex, but don't we know far too many women who are accustomed to using sex as a commodity to barter for the attention and affections of men?

Yes. But.

I propose the distinction that women can only barter under the "rule system".
It's my presumption that the "rule system" is inherently the only thing that gives women the power to barter for sex.

Notice, I'm postulating that women have NO POWER WHATSOEVER to barter with sex if you remove the "rule system".

Luckily, we live under the rule system. Whew!

So, under this "rule system", women have a very clear and dominant place in the money-for-sex transaction.

I have to think about what happens when you remove the rule system, but I think, at least upon first inspection, that women mostly fall to a base level of survival of themselves, and their children (even if those children are the inevitable product of force which itself inevitably occurs when the rules are removed).

But, back to the rule system, which is our current "truth", the mods had removed the cartoon, but when I searched for a joke about that, what came up was a "family circus" cartoon rip off with a girl telling her siblings "mommy is asking daddy for a new dress"... then your eyes move to the background where mommy was giving daddy a blowjob, which made the something-for-sex connection abundantly clear.

Men have never been secretive about their high valuation on the sexual pleasures of life, and many wily women have been taking advantage of that inherent value since the beginning of time, however adroit they are at disguising their main intentions (take Antony's/Caesar's Ptolemaic Cleopatra, for example).

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
There are women may feel they have little else going for them of so-called tangible value. This would apply to some men as well.

This is quite true. It would be interesting to understand what makes "some" women career into prostitution, while other women, who 'could' be prostitutes, don't.

Many women, I think, habitually "sell" their sex daily though, just for far lower redemption value than what Sheen was accustomed to.

These women selling their sex daily are simply disguising the transaction by being shrewd enough to camouflage the barter as wearing a short skirt or as ensuring various and sundry wardrobe malfunctions throughout the day at work or on the streets of the city.

Notice what I'm intimating here, which is that most women (yes, maybe even many mothers) are actually 'selling' their sex in myriad ways, every single day. In the end, if they 'attract' a guy with the (financial) power of the likes of Charlie Sheen, then we might rightly assert that they "sold" their sex for as much (or more) that Charlie Sheen pays for his high-priced hookers.

We could, for example, calculate the cost of the divorce settlements of some of these well-to-do folks, and then divide by the number of times they had sex, to arrive at a similarly high value for the 'cost-per-fux' index.

..... I have to run ... so I will respond to your other comments accordingly ... and I apologize for my stream-of-thought process which resulted in the somewhat disjointed flow of ideas thrown out above for public purview......

(in reply to dreamlady)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/26/2015 11:37:22 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
I haven't been keeping up with this thread regularly, but there doesn't seem to be a definitive answer as to why certain men (predominantly) will pay large amounts of money for sexual services.

Obviously, hordes of sailors on weekend shore leave are seeking instant gratification with the limited resources they have to work with, within the constraints of a relatively small, finite number of females available to score with. Getting instant sexual gratification on negotiable terms, or settling for what you can get, is the ubiquitous solution for the average whoremonger.

All practical considerations aside, your observation hits the nail on the head in many respects when dealing with habit patterns beyond sexual convenience and the purely circumstantial.

To me, that's the interesting part of the thread. The 'how much' is a secondary thing. People spend money on all kinds of things that I would never be so extravagant about.

quote:

When it comes to women, we may not find it necessary to ever have to shell out money for sex, but don't we know far too many women who are accustomed to using sex as a commodity to barter for the attention and affections of men? There are women may feel they have little else going for them of so-called tangible value. This would apply to some men as well.

Yes, that's the other side of it. I'd be foolish to deny that exists.

quote:

As for OP's question about if sex is so hard to come by, mainly NSA sex, it isn't nearly as difficult in frequency of opportunity as it used to be back in the day depending upon the circumstances, and affordability aside given inflationary costs. Let's stay with the vanilla preponderance of sex-for-pay.
If I as a woman had a (casual) sexual preference for a partner who had to basically meet a few basic criteria, what are the chances that I could find a willing male to meet those?

Personally, I happen to be old fashioned about these kinds of things. I say this so folks understand that I'm not huge on the casual sex idea. However, as a Dominant woman, I really don't question my ability to go out and get laid if I wanted to. Frankly, I happen to think that's true of a very high majority of women, even those who don't know it.

quote:

Probably much higher than a man would in finding a willing female, going by sheer numbers if I weren't overly choosy.

Agreed.

quote:

The wild card here is not so much wanting casual sex, whether it's affordable or comes at little to no cost. There are one-night stands to be had by either gender.
Because, with men, it isn't just the Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Mam mentality that motivates them out of sexual desperation, although this may seem to be the prevalent modus operandi of an excessive number of men.

It would still be my contention that women looking for the casual night are more successful than men. Most women can do that while only a certain percentage of men can pull it off. Males tend to use the equalizer. Cash.

quote:

Men tend to be more fetish-oriented. A lot of men cannot handle rejection at any level.

That was my fascination with this thread to begin with, especially in the Fogle case. If you were male and looked like Jerod, just how often do you think you'd get 'lucky' during a business trip? Chicks aren't exactly throwing their panties at 'the subway guy'. If he wasn't worth fifteen mil, I wouldn't exactly be placing bets on him.

quote:

Paying for sex not only takes the pressure off of males in terms of performance anxiety (the goal of a paying client is not to please the female partner with his sexual prowess), but he in turn gets his commonplace vanilla fetish needs met.

Absolutely.

quote:

Blonde, redhead, brunette, skinny, petite, BBW, big breasts, big ass, long legs, tall drink of water, having an Asian female fetish, or one for black women or Latinas, etc., . . . sexual "menu" type items, around-the-world, paying for time or paying per act, including kinky sex acts, the pricier overnight stay, the Girlfriend Experience; whatever combinations of these can be negotiated at a price.

I don't really see this as any different than when I order Chinese food.

quote:

When a man doesn't make a business arrangement out of getting his sexual intimacy needs met, then he has to step up to the plate with social relationship currency -- and for some men, that cost is one they either can't afford because they lack the right kind of currency, or don't have the relationship skills to pull off. Not to mention, there are just a whole bunch of guys who are either selfish lovers or else plain lousy in the sack.

Yes, some men *are* lousy in the sack. All women know this. So, even if they get the one night stand, the experience isn't seen the same from both sides.

In the case of Jerod, here is a guy who really isn't anything special. I think he probably knows it, too.

quote:

Btw, we should probably cut the OP some slack here. He didn't come onto somebody else's thread with a bunch of charts and graphs to argue his points, and if OP's posting style or use of cartoon illustrations offends any other posters choosing to post here, they are free to skip over this discussion topic and devote their energies elsewhere.

I think that last part was directed at someone else.





_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to dreamlady)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/27/2015 3:32:10 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline 		After eating a wonderfully full turkeyday meal yesterday, I am sated and probably in a far more relaxed mood than I was yesterday ... so I return to DreamLady's always-interesting comments, anew - but pick up now where I last left off yesterday.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
As for OP's question about if sex is so hard to come by, mainly NSA sex, it isn't nearly as difficult in frequency of opportunity as it used to be back in the day depending upon the circumstances, and affordability aside given inflationary costs. Let's stay with the vanilla preponderance of sex-for-pay.

This is probably true, in our current day, where NSA sex isn't so much frowned upon as in the past.

Since this thread is about the astronomical cash payments for sex, I'll devote the response to the fact that even paying "normal" amounts for sex is an easy task to come by in today's day and age.

For example, here, the going rate, I believe (last I checked was a few yeas ago though) was a few hundred ($180 to $200 would do fine with a little shopping around) at the Asian-dominated "apartment massage" places.

These are, if you're not familiar with Silicon Valley culture, myriad arrangements of two women who "live" in an apartment which is indistinguishable from any other apartment other than in what business they run next to families and young professionals. You call for an appointment, and you speak to a receptionist who has perfect English skills, even if accompanied by a heavy Asian accent.

You arrive at your stated time slot (sometimes they implement a two-call system) where you are greeted with a kiss by a young Asian woman in relatively casual evening wear as you are instructed to leave your shoes just inside the door and you're led by hand to one of two bedrooms (the other lady may be lounging on the couch or eating lunch in the kitchen or behind closed doors at that time).

Inside the boudoir, she's all yours for the taking, and she is NOT expecting foreplay, so, when you are, that throws them back, but only for a few moments, as, these are professionals after all.

You take note of the time and you spend your hour as you see fit, hopefully reserving only the last 10 minutes for the culmination of your own pleasure, and the prior 40 minutes in the devoted and decidedly delicious worship of the lovely female form.

Depending on how many $200-dollar bills you possessed, you can easily enjoy your "apartment massage" day after day after day after day, during your extended lunch break, and then go right back to work.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
If I as a woman had a (casual) sexual preference for a partner who had to basically meet a few basic criteria, what are the chances that I could find a willing male to meet those?

100%
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Probably much higher than a man would in finding a willing female, going by sheer numbers if I weren't overly choosy.

Ah, this is a loaded question.

If the guy is a normal guy, then his chances depend solely on two things:
1. How much "relationship" collateral he has available, or,
2. How much "cash" collateral he has available.

If he has low-relationship collateral, he will need to up his cash collateral to be successful in bedding his perfect babe.

However, the reverse is also true, but men with high relationship collateral tend to get removed from the market by the very nature of that pernicious bonding-for-life's exclusivity clause in the rulebook.
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Without the monetary equalizer, a guy would have a much tougher time finding someone to meet his.

I would agree, and disagree.

If the guy has high relationship collateral, he would find it far easier than the guy with low relationship collateral (which, unfortunately for women who are not professionals, is more the norm).

However, most guys, when they're looking for sex, aren't really looking for relationships (otherwise, all the numbers would be different).

And, certainly, in the three cases outlined in the OP (Sheen, Fogle, Odom), they're certainly not seeking long-term relationships (except with their accountants, who are left with the bill to process in the aftermath).
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
The wild card here is not so much wanting casual sex, whether it's affordable or comes at little to no cost. There are one-night stands to be had by either gender.

I wonder. I really do.
I realize women have one-night stands; but do they "aim" for one-night stands anywhere nearly as much as the men do?

Or, do these female one-night stands just happen mainly because that's the way the men preferred it to be?
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Because, with men, it isn't just the Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Mam mentality that motivates them out of sexual desperation, although this may seem to be the prevalent modus operandi of an excessive number of men.

It certainly is the M.O. of very many men.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Men tend to be more fetish-oriented.

Is this really true?
I have tried to talk to some male friends about fetishes, and almost invariably, the conversation is very soon shut down. I have never had a male friend whom I could speak openly with about fetishes.

However, to the contrary, when we read the news, it's almost always men who get arrested and convicted of sexual personalities, although that may simply be because men, in general, are arrested and convicted more so than women for sexual acts made outside the law of the land.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
A lot of men cannot handle rejection at any level.

I've heard this so many times from women that I kind of feel that I'm forced to accept it as a fact.

However, I, myself, have no experience with this concept.
Rejection is quite normal and easily overcome in the men I know.

For example, a kid tries out for the football team. He either gets on the team, or he doesn't. He handles it.

He then either makes the varsity team, or he's on the JV team, and he handles it.

Then he either makes first string, or he doesn't. Again, he handles it.

After that, he either makes a touchdown, or he gets tackled five yards from winning the game. He handles it.

I'm using football as my analogy, but in myriad ways, men handle rejection day after day after day after day, just as they handle success.

Likewise, it happens with asking a girl out on a date, or asking her to dance, or losing her to a guy who has better looks or more money, or whatever.

Men get rejected every day, and they handle it (AFAIK).

Where's this so-called inability to handle rejection?
I've never seen it.
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Paying for sex not only takes the pressure off of males in terms of performance anxiety (the goal of a paying client is not to please the female partner with his sexual prowess), but he in turn gets his commonplace vanilla fetish needs met.

Again, where's this performance anxiety I keep hearing about?

I banter with guys about sex as much as anyone (maybe even more than most), and I've almost never heard a guy complain about his "performance". Certainly no guy has ever confided in me his lack of skills in bed. To the contrary, in the overly boastful way men often discuss sexual needs.

However, to your point, when you pay for sex, you don't have to worry about the woman's sexual needs (which, I presume, is what you were getting after), to which I would agree.

I may be different, but, I HATE when I pay for sex and then all I get is this overlay orchestrated wild moaning which is as fake as it is obvious. She should exude the "normal" amount of pleasure sounds and juices, where acting it up means she will never make a repeat customer of me.

Even so, if all you want to do is get you rocks off, your hour of time will turn into 15 minutes of directed bliss, as she is very used to getting her job done in the first 15 minutes of the hour, and, since women are best turned into a ham sandwich after the typical male climax, she benefits from the 30 minutes of free off time after she cleans up the guy in the apartment shower.

Me? I take the full hour, and, the last 15 minutes only are reserved for the climax. The rest is adoration, and, truth be told, I have to tell her to put her clothes back on as she often removes them while I am in the pre-sex shower.

(Funny, but I just realized, the pre-sex shower is always alone, while the post-sex shower is almost always with her - and therefore much more enjoyable as an after-sex letdown activity - so - I guess I'm learning as I'm recalling things I may or may not have done a decade or so ago).

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Blonde, redhead, brunette, skinny, petite, BBW, big breasts, big ass, long legs, tall drink of water, having an Asian female fetish, or one for black women or Latinas, etc., . . . sexual "menu" type items, around-the-world, paying for time or paying per act, including kinky sex acts, the pricier overnight stay, the Girlfriend Experience; whatever combinations of these can be negotiated at a price.

Yes. This is extremely true.
The menu is diverse, and usually well agreed upon before you arrive.
For example, at TheGatesSM here in the SF Bay Area, you call up a fetish model's number where you never get "her", but you get the receptionist, who will describe each and every model as to what they look like and what they will and will not do for you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
When a man doesn't make a business arrangement out of getting his sexual intimacy needs met, then he has to step up to the plate with social relationship currency -- and for some men, that cost is one they either can't afford because they lack the right kind of currency, or don't have the relationship skills to pull off.

Ah, I read and respond in series, so I see we both agree, ahead of time, that a man can exert only one of three "forces" in this world, only two of which are sanctioned by the system:
1. Force (which is why pillage & plunder is always accompanied by rape)
2. Money (monetary force is the great equalizer for men)
3. Relationship (obvious the best force currency of all, but it precipitates out of the solution by its very 'fema-philic nature)
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Not to mention, there are just a whole bunch of guys who are either selfish lovers or else plain lousy in the sack.

Again, not my experience, but I haven't been to bed ever with another guy, so, I can only relate to this complaint with bemused satisfaction.

I think his performance is sort of like his cock size, in that it's not something a woman knows ahead of time, so, it doesn't help a man if he does have these things either.

Women seem to care more about other things, than those two, and neither of these things do women know BEFORE they bed the guys anyway; so, if a one-night stand is in the guys' mind from the start, neither of those two factors plays any role whatsoever in the pre-bedding process, and neither matters one whit in the post-bedding process either.

I guess they only matter in the long drawn out relationship phase, but, again, we're assuming, for the purpose of this thread, that relationships aren't the reason men spend huge amounts of cash to bed women for sex.

NOTE: I probably show a bit too much ADD in my responses, which I don't proofread, so, I apologize if they're all over the map. There are so many thoughts that fly about, all in similarly different directions whenever DreamLady brings up salient points.

So I apologize if my points tangented off hers, but, she is smart enough to easily rein me back in, if she so needs to or desires, so, please take my stream-of-thought unedited response as just what it is.

(in reply to dreamlady)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/27/2015 3:46:32 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Why would it surprise anyone what people will pay.
All day, every day, people pay for sex with reputations, careers, scandals, freedom, dignity, decency and/or integrity.
Whats a bit o'loot compared to that?


I'm less surprised about how much some people pay now that it was clearly opined here that what they're paying so much for, isn't sex, per se.

It's something else altogether, which is (presumably) worth the $1,000/hour going rate.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Same old story and I know it's been told,
Some like jelly jelly - some like gold
Many a man's done a terrible thing
Just to get baby that shiny diamond ring"

I had to look up the words, which are apparently from "Dupree Diamond Blues" annotated here with further explanation.
quote:


First recorded performance February 11, 1969, at the Fillmore East in New York. After 1969, dropped from the repertoire until the late seventies, when it made a brief re-appearance; then brought back in 1982 for the duration of the decade.

The text of the song is a re-working of a song, "Betty and Dupree," with many incarnations in American folk tradition. It was based upon a true incident:

"The biography of the man and his crimes may be summarized as follows: Frank Dupree grew up in Abbeville, South Carolina. He came on the scene in December 1921 in Atlanta, Georgia, where he had a gal Betty. In trying to appropriate a diamond for her in a jewelry store he shot a policeman down. Fleeing to Memphis and later to Chicago, where he was cornered, he killed a policeman and wounded several more. He was caught while getting his mail and sent to Atlanta for trial. He was executed for murder on September 1, 1922."


(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/27/2015 3:47:46 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Why would it surprise anyone what people will pay.
All day, every day, people pay for sex with reputations, careers, scandals, freedom, dignity, decency and/or integrity.
Whats a bit o'loot compared to that?


I'm less surprised about how much some people pay now that it was clearly opined here that what they're paying so much for, isn't sex, per se.

It's something else altogether, which is (presumably) worth the $1,000/hour going rate.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Same old story and I know it's been told,
Some like jelly jelly - some like gold
Many a man's done a terrible thing
Just to get baby that shiny diamond ring"

I had to look up the words, which are apparently from "Dupree Diamond Blues" annotated here with further explanation.
quote:


First recorded performance February 11, 1969, at the Fillmore East in New York. After 1969, dropped from the repertoire until the late seventies, when it made a brief re-appearance; then brought back in 1982 for the duration of the decade.

The text of the song is a re-working of a song, "Betty and Dupree," with many incarnations in American folk tradition. It was based upon a true incident:

"The biography of the man and his crimes may be summarized as follows: Frank Dupree grew up in Abbeville, South Carolina. He came on the scene in December 1921 in Atlanta, Georgia, where he had a gal Betty. In trying to appropriate a diamond for her in a jewelry store he shot a policeman down. Fleeing to Memphis and later to Chicago, where he was cornered, he killed a policeman and wounded several more. He was caught while getting his mail and sent to Atlanta for trial. He was executed for murder on September 1, 1922."


(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/27/2015 5:45:33 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Men tend to be more fetish-oriented.

Is this really true?

I happen to think it is. Keep in mind the way that is phrased. She specifically said fetish, not kink. That's a thread all to itself.

quote:

I have tried to talk to some male friends about fetishes, and almost invariably, the conversation is very soon shut down. I have never had a male friend whom I could speak openly with about fetishes.

Oh geez. I'd propose that a good number of women on this site could tell you all about hearing the fetishes of men if you give the guys half a chance. It surprises me that you haven't come across it with the female profiles that you created. (Honestly, between us, I still think you should take those down if you haven't already.)

quote:

However, to the contrary, when we read the news, it's almost always men who get arrested and convicted of sexual personalities, although that may simply be because men, in general, are arrested and convicted more so than women for sexual acts made outside the law of the land.

I really don't see this at all. If you're talking about prostitution, the working girls are far more likely to be arrested than the johns. If you're talking about sexual assault, again, that's a whole different thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
A lot of men cannot handle rejection at any level.

quote:

I've heard this so many times from women that I kind of feel that I'm forced to accept it as a fact.

The very next time there's a good 'why don't women answer email' thread around here, I want you to listen to what the women say about what happens when they reject the advances of men. I'd also say have another spin around that stalking thread to see how many of those cases are based on what happens when rejection is the core issue. A lot of *people* can't handle rejection well. I think we see it more often in men because more often than not, men are the pursuers, so they encounter rejection more often.

quote:

However, I, myself, have no experience with this concept.
Rejection is quite normal and easily overcome in the men I know.

For example, a kid tries out for the football team. He either gets on the team, or he doesn't. He handles it.

He then either makes the varsity team, or he's on the JV team, and he handles it.

Then he either makes first string, or he doesn't. Again, he handles it.

After that, he either makes a touchdown, or he gets tackled five yards from winning the game. He handles it.

I'm using football as my analogy, but in myriad ways, men handle rejection day after day after day after day, just as they handle success.

Your analogy doesn't work. Which, I don't think is your fault, really. I think it would have been tough to find a parallel that would match a person's manhood. The only one I could come up with would be a man lacking the ability to provide for his family because that's also in the 'less of a man' category.

quote:

Likewise, it happens with asking a girl out on a date, or asking her to dance, or losing her to a guy who has better looks or more money, or whatever.

Men get rejected every day, and they handle it (AFAIK).

Not all of them. Even if the majority do, there is still a significant percentage that don't, even if they are the minority.

quote:

Where's this so-called inability to handle rejection?
I've never seen it.

You haven't seen it in the first person sense. However, you've seen it on some of the other threads. You've actually learned from them, so you have 'seen' it. You're just not processing it.

quote:

Again, where's this performance anxiety I keep hearing about?

Tell me you're kidding.

quote:

I banter with guys about sex as much as anyone (maybe even more than most), and I've almost never heard a guy complain about his "performance". Certainly no guy has ever confided in me his lack of skills in bed. To the contrary, in the overly boastful way men often discuss sexual needs.

Do you really expect men to walk up to you before your game of racquetball and proudly announce to you and all of sundry that there dick doesn't work and they are lousy in the sack? Do you know that old line about how everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but it's really not possible for *everybody* to have good taste and a sense of humor? It's like that.

If it wasn't that important, why did Viagra make so much money? Men tie their manhood into certain things.

However, to your point, when you pay for sex, you don't have to worry about the woman's sexual needs (which, I presume, is what you were getting after), to which I would agree.

<skipping everything about your experiences paying for sex. Sorry>

quote:

Ah, I read and respond in series, so I see we both agree, ahead of time, that a man can exert only one of three "forces" in this world, only two of which are sanctioned by the system:
1. Force (which is why pillage & plunder is always accompanied by rape)

Yeah, I'm going to ask for this to stop. Most men aren't neanderthals. Do we have criminal folks in our society? Yes.

quote:

2. Money (monetary force is the great equalizer for men)

Personally, I'd choke up a lung before paying someone for sex. I find it kind of ridiculous that other people do. Then again, I got a mani-pedi last week that rung me up a hundred bucks.
3. Relationship (obvious the best force currency of all, but it precipitates out of the solution by its very 'fema-philic nature)
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Not to mention, there are just a whole bunch of guys who are either selfish lovers or else plain lousy in the sack.

quote:

Again, not my experience, but I haven't been to bed ever with another guy, so, I can only relate to this complaint with bemused satisfaction.

I think his performance is sort of like his cock size, in that it's not something a woman knows ahead of time, so, it doesn't help a man if he does have these things either.

Women seem to care more about other things, than those two, and neither of these things do women know BEFORE they bed the guys anyway; so, if a one-night stand is in the guys' mind from the start, neither of those two factors plays any role whatsoever in the pre-bedding process, and neither matters one whit in the post-bedding process either.

I guess they only matter in the long drawn out relationship phase, but, again, we're assuming, for the purpose of this thread, that relationships aren't the reason men spend huge amounts of cash to bed women for sex.

NOTE: I probably show a bit too much ADD in my responses, which I don't proofread, so, I apologize if they're all over the map. There are so many thoughts that fly about, all in similarly different directions whenever DreamLady brings up salient points.

So I apologize if my points tangented off hers, but, she is smart enough to easily rein me back in, if she so needs to or desires, so, please take my stream-of-thought unedited response as just what it is.

Just so you know. Performance is not like cock size.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/27/2015 7:45:42 AM   
dreamlady


Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline 		(This is also going to show as a Reply to LadyP per initial quoting. The earlier "Btw" paragraph was just a general statement. )

crumpets, while your main concern is priciness, you would have to get your answer from the horse's mouth, and so far there haven't been any takers. You describe the massage parlor scenario at roughly $200 a pop for an hour-long "massage." There, you get privacy without having to pay for a hotel room (or already having secured one while in town on business, let's say) so you can expect to pay more than you would a street hooker. The hooker you pick up at the hotel bar is going to charge your more, presumably, than that same street hooker who isn't going to set aside an hour of her time for you to get off. Whatever add-ons/extras from the standard rate is going to cost you more, and you'll be expected to tip in most cases. As with a new video game release, those micro-transactions are going to add up.

What's interesting about this generic sex-for-pay subject is that there are an abundant number of streams-of-consciousness topics which stem from it, including the subject of not having to pay for sex.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
[All practical considerations aside, your observation hits the nail on the head in many respects when dealing with habit patterns beyond sexual convenience and the purely circumstantial.]

To me, that's the interesting part of the thread. The 'how much' is a secondary thing. People spend money on all kinds of things that I would never be so extravagant about.

An oversimplification perhaps, but the difference between going with a name brand or a designer name, and taking your chances with the product itself. I tend to not be impressed by designer labels, and an old classic would be an investment purchase, the Omega watch, the Mikimoto cultured pearls, the vintage Canon camera, the Nikon binoculars, the vintage Orvis fishing rod with vintage Hardy Bros fishing reel, etc.

crumpets, as to spending habits, Why Do some men pay for fleeting pleasures as if there is no tomorrow? It boils down to one's life priorities and how much any given man is willing to shell out to for the perceived value of the product or service. The cost/benefit ratio to these men don't make any logical sense due to personal subjectivity; the only logical component is whether the man feels that he is getting his money's worth depending on his expectation level(s).

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Personally, I happen to be old fashioned about these kinds of things. I say this so folks understand that I'm not huge on the casual sex idea. However, as a Dominant woman, I really don't question my ability to go out and get laid if I wanted to. Frankly, I happen to think that's true of a very high majority of women, even those who don't know it.

The same with me, which brings me to say that obtaining sex is way down on the totem pole. It's the Who that matters. Sex is overrated, I can manage just fine on my own -- it's the quality of the lovemaking which counts, and that is directly tied to the Who factor in finding the right partner.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
I realize women have one-night stands; but do they "aim" for one-night stands anywhere nearly as much as the men do?

Or, do these female one-night stands just happen mainly because that's the way the men preferred it to be?

I can't speak for all women, and certainly not for younger women, but I think I can safely say that we aim for quality sex at the very minimum. If the sex is no good, then the dude isn't going to get an encore performance in most cases.
If he happens to come packaged in a quality partner, if he's boyfriend material, relationship material, then so much the better.

We take a big gamble each time we try out a new sex partner, knowing that the odds are not stacked in our favor at the throw of the dice. When we do find that diamond in the rough, then he potentially becomes a keeper, having passed through that ring of fire. (There are many more rings to pass through, so good sex isn't necessarily sufficient either.)
ALL women take huge risks with their bodies, and with their physical safety by being alone with a man, even a man she considers to be a friend, who could then turn out to be a stalker. Chances are, a man isn't going to risk as much (STDs aside) by being alone with a woman or worrying about whether she turns out to be a nutjob. (There are always exceptions, of course. )

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
It would still be my contention that women looking for the casual night are more successful than men. Most women can do that while only a certain percentage of men can pull it off. Males tend to use the equalizer. Cash.

Exactly.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Men tend to be more fetish-oriented.

Is this really true?
I have tried to talk to some male friends about fetishes, and almost invariably, the conversation is very soon shut down. I have never had a male friend whom I could speak openly with about fetishes.

I believe that it is. How many of these same male friends of yours will freely admit to being a breast man, an ass man, or a leg man? Or want to show you their latest Asian female fetish porn collection? You may not be viewing these sexual preferences as being a sexual fetish, but if it is compulsory for sexual attraction and arousal, then it's a fetish. And yes, women have them also, but we are more inclined to overlook a man not meeting a particular (vanilla) fetish "requirement" if he has other redeeming characteristics, so therein lies the difference.

I have a relative who only goes for blondes. Slender blondes. If a woman doesn't meet this requirement of his, then he's not interested and a non-slender, non-blonde woman might as well be the boy next door because she'll never get on his sexual attraction radar.
He would also never pay for sex, and would be hoping to form an intimate relationship commitment, but that's beside the point.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I don't really see this as any different than when I order Chinese food.

Ah, but individually we approach ordering Chinese food differently. Plus, starting out we've already mentally decided to order out and not to prepare these various dishes at home with what we have on hand, whether it's Chinese food or pizza delivery.
When ordering Chinese food or any other sort of cuisine, some people invariably order the same exact dish every single time. Others like to alternate or try out new dishes.
In that sense, the person who doesn't want Chinese food if the restaurant is out of BBQ spareribs, would be analogous to a fetishist.
The person who has a second choice or will consider another option might still be analogous to a fetishist, but he's more flexible (has a wider range of fetishes).
Others may not have a specific preference, other than being in the mood for Chinese cooking.

Most people have preferences in the kinds of Chinese food menu items she or he would want to select, and having sexual preferences is no different in that regard -- BUT, the BBQ sparerib *fetishist*'s mouth only waters for that one particular dish.
(Please excuse the inherent faultiness in my comparison between food preferences and sexual preferences since I am comparing apples and oranges as if they were equivalent, which they are not.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
A lot of men cannot handle rejection at any level.

I've heard this so many times from women that I kind of feel that I'm forced to accept it as a fact.

However, I, myself, have no experience with this concept.
Rejection is quite normal and easily overcome in the men I know.
<clip>
Where's this so-called inability to handle rejection?
I've never seen it.

The context is one of perceived rejection by women, not every single competition a man enters.
The same man who can routinely brush off not winning a cash prize on a scratch-off lottery ticket, or not "winning" a contest, may still take it as a personal affront when a total stranger he contacts on line doesn't acknowledge his introductory message. Somehow, this man may feel that he's "earned" the right to communications access when he hasn't even made the qualifying elimination round.
In real time, the man whose interest in a woman is not reciprocated may start stalking her without one iota of encouragement on her part. It has more to do with an unrealistic sense of self-entitlement that a lot of men may have when it comes to their romantic and sexual insecurities.
I don't want to open this can of worms, so I'll end here.

DreamLady

Edit - Fixed quote box

< Message edited by dreamlady -- 11/27/2015 7:55:14 AM >

_____________________________

Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/27/2015 8:50:42 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
She specifically said fetish, not kink. That's a thread all to itself.

I don't know the difference.
They're the same, to me, at this point in time.
But, I'm sure I'm wrong, so, I'll admit that ... up front ... that I don't know the distinction yet.

When you don't think about something, you know nothing about it.
And I had never thought about it before.
So, I know nothing about the distinction.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Oh geez. I'd propose that a good number of women on this site could tell you all about hearing the fetishes of men if you give the guys half a chance. It surprises me that you haven't come across it with the female profiles that you created. (Honestly, between us, I still think you should take those down if you haven't already.)

I don't converse with anyone in the female profiles, except to play games with the Doms (heh heh ... they get so miffed when I don't act like "THEIR" submissive in the first communication!)

I also play with the Domme's (such as a spate from the Philippines recently) who are all fake and/or after money. But, they have to approach me first, and then my games put an end to the conversation pretty quickly. It's only the real morons who continue to contact me after a while, and those morons are so easy to toy with that it's not even fun anymore.

So, they're all pretty much inactive (I don't even remember the passwords because I changed to a keycrypt system in the interim.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I really don't see this at all. If you're talking about prostitution, the working girls are far more likely to be arrested than the johns. If you're talking about sexual assault, again, that's a whole different thread.

Yeah. I was talking about laws against doing things to stuffed animals, horses, sheep, and dropping your pants to stuff a love doll in public. That kind of stuff gets only men in trouble (for the most part).

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
The very next time there's a good 'why don't women answer email' thread around here, I want you to listen to what the women say about what happens when they reject the advances of men.

They get huffy.

I know that because my female profiles "play" with them.

And, some consistently ping me, week after week, month after month, and I don't bother to hide/block them because I only log in sporadically and I don't take anything they say at all seriously. Clearly, I must reject all male advances (as they wouldn't like to see me in the flesh, I'm sure), so, I reject ALL males (and females) that approach those profiles.

None have gone ballistic with me.

However, I must admit I don't get deep with them, so, I'm always only on a base level, so, maybe I'm not invested enough in the profile to feel the hurt or to see the threat?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I'd also say have another spin around that stalking thread to see how many of those cases are based on what happens when rejection is the core issue.

Makes sense though.

There was a study of narcissists where half were arbitrarily assigned a rejection score on a paper while the other half were arbitrarily assigned a good grade.

The narcissists tried to "punish" their grader, but, only those who were assigned the bad score (i.e., rejection). The narcissists who were assigned a good score behaved the same as the control group of non-narcissists, who went through the whole process.

The non-narcissistic group that was arbitrarily assigned the bad score acted the same as those who were assigned a good score.

So, in their test, out of 4/4ths, only the 1/4 who were narcissists and who were (unfairly) assigned a bad score, turned out to be the sadists.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
A lot of *people* can't handle rejection well. I think we see it more often in men because more often than not, men are the pursuers, so they encounter rejection more often.

I guess that makes sense.
I had to ask the girl out on a date and I had to ask her to dance.
So, I'd be the one getting rejected.

I think it's not "men" who are rejected who behave badly though; it's "people" and it's only a small percentage of people. Let's say it's 1/10th for now, but I have no idea what percentage of people can't handle rejection.

I do know that I'm on a LOT of forums, and the Internet is as rude as anywhere, and about 1/10th of the people there go ballistic if you just correct their English grammar (and, trust me, I do that a lot!).

The other 9/10ths handle the grammar correction with aplomb.

Of course, all the forums I am on are replete with men (where I am the only woman, heh heh), so, maybe this is just a men-only wet-thumb-in-the-air statistic.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Your analogy doesn't work. Which, I don't think is your fault, really. I think it would have been tough to find a parallel that would match a person's manhood. The only one I could come up with would be a man lacking the ability to provide for his family because that's also in the 'less of a man' category.

Well, "I" played football, and I wrestled and I ran track and I rowed crew, etc., so, I met with a lot of success and failure all at the same time because "I" wasn't ever the best football player, nor the best wrestler, nor the best runner, etc.

So, maybe the men who can't handle rejection don't have the practice that I have in it!

With respect to women, the antidote to getting rejected is merely not to ask, which is pretty much what I did all through my life whenever I figured a woman would say no.

I mean, let's take an extreme case. I'm in Safeway. I see a gorgeous babe. She's good looking and is buying healthy food, and I talk to her for whatever reason, and she smiles back, and seems nice. Then we meet again at the checkout counter, and I spontaneously banter with her about whatever (such banter is extremely easy for me because I like people), and she smiles and returns the conversation.

Then. Wham! She walks away. Never to be seen again!

OK. Every guy goes through this. What does he do? He could blurt out a hastily conceived excuse for asking for her phone number or asking her on a date or asking her anything ... just to keep the conversation going.

Heck. With respect to stalking, he could even follow her to her car to see if there could be another opportunity to banter. Maybe even follow her home, for heaven's sake, so that he can figure out a way to run into her again.

But, really, realistically, what does he do?

Answer = nothing.
She leaves his life, forever. Never to be seen again.

Why doesn't he ask her out at the checkout counter?
Because the chance of rejection is very high. So why bother?

My point is that we men could get rejected a hell of a lot more than we do, simply because we make an assumption that the answer is no, so, we don't bother.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Not all of them. Even if the majority do, there is still a significant percentage that don't, even if they are the minority.

I'm sure they exist.
Maybe it's the narcissists?
I don't know.
We'd have to defer to the psychologists in the house to figure out why a percentage of "people" can't handle being told they're ugly and fat (which is what I tell myself I am all the time).
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Tell me you're kidding.

I guess you caught me. I wasn't kidding, per se, but I don't understand people who kill their parents, but I know it happens. I don't understand people who join ISIS but I know it happens. I don't understand people who hurt babies and cut them out of other people's wombs, but I know it happens.

So, I really don't get this performance-anxiety thing at all, but, as you realized, I know it happens. I mean, I get anxious before a meet (I had one just this week, for example, but with me, I tend to talk too much which is the only "performance-anxiety" I exhibit). I'm certain as the sun will shine that my performance is never going to be an issue - and - if it was - which happens extremely rarely but sometimes under the influence of drinking or such - then - no big deal - there will be another time shortly to try anew.

It's not a big deal, either way.
Plus, the actual "penis" is only used in the end of a long session of foreplay, which, by then, the woman should have cum quite a few times if she's capable of it, so, the penis is just for me, because she should be sated by then anyway.

I do agree, seriously so, that if "long hard sex" is her schtick, well, then, .long-term hour-long performance requires serious mental exercises (I think of a nun or trees or vomit or whatever - just to keep the mental crescendo from hitting the point of no return for orgasm).

So, under those types of circumstances, where she needs a pogo stick with a strong spring more so than a penis, well, then I can easily see performance anxiety being a factor.

Otherwise, it's just like tripping on a sidewalk crack. Yeah, it's embarrassing, and, so what? You just get over it and walk across the next sidewalk crack without tripping over your feet.

Same with sex.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Do you really expect men to walk up to you before your game of racquetball and proudly announce to you and all of sundry that there dick doesn't work and they are lousy in the sack?

No. Again you caught me. Not really. They confide that their wife doesn't have sex with them, and yet, she gets mad that they find it elsewhere and she uses it against them in the divorce proceedings, and I just heartily agree. It's unfair. And I help him find a hooker that will take better care of him than his wife.

That, they confide in me.
We also all joke who has the Biggist Dickus. Constantly. It's just what we do.
We all joke that we can get laid in a moment, and if we do meet someone, we all add a base (or two) to the after-sex tell-it-all-to-the-guys.

I've even had a guy, long ago, stick his finger near my nose telling me to "smell her pussy" because he just fingered her (this was in college days) only a short time before.

Do you see what we talk about? It's fifth-grade humor. Idle boasting. Crude talks about tits and cunt and assholes. It's not romantic in the least. Never do guys talk of romance... at least not in my lifetime.

There ARE some guys who refuse to talk this way. But they just don't talk. And, we men figure out who they are, because they shun the childlike way we boast and lie to each other. We all get along, but we just avoid that type of conversation with those 'classier' men. (They're probably the worst perverts of all, but we'll never know, will we.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Do you know that old line about how everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but it's really not possible for *everybody* to have good taste and a sense of humor? It's like that.

Yeah. Dunning-Kruger at its finest!
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
If it wasn't that important, why did Viagra make so much money? Men tie their manhood into certain things.

No no no... you don't get it.
Viagra is GREAT STUFF!

Even if you don't need it, it keeps the hardon for as long as you want.
Of course, the hardon goes away the moment you cum (refractory periods being what they are), but, a triangle of that stuff (one blue pill split in half + 2 aspirins for the headache) is what I've used MANY TIMES.

It's GREAT stuff. You can be lent out to a half dozen women, and, as long as you don't cum (see mental exercises having to do with your worst fears of nuns above), you can last forever!

In fact, true story, more than once, I have use Viagra and it lasted so long that she was dead tired, and then, when it was finally time for me to "just cum and get it over with please", I couldn't even cum! I don't quite understand the physiology if it all, but, after a long time (we're talking more than an hour) of foreplay + pounding + foreplay + pounding (repeated as needed), there's something that happens, such that you're still nearly rock hard, but, it's hard to cum. Weird, because that NEVER happens without the use of the Viagra.

But, I digress. Plenty of people WITHOUT erectile dysfunction find Viagra to be fantastic stuff, merely because it prolongs what would be a one-orgasm (for her) date into as many as she can have (which can be a lot more than we can have).
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Yeah, I'm going to ask for this to stop. Most men aren't neanderthals. Do we have criminal folks in our society? Yes.

You can "ask", but, my point was that ALL men WILL RAPE (just, that cute 15 year old boy and that handsome 20 year old soldier and that successful 30 year old lawyer and that knowledgeable 40 year old professor and that aging 50 year old bus driver, etc., if you just give them a chance.

I realize this is not an acceptable opinion, and certainly it's not a legal justification of anything, and obviously 99.999999% of men have NOT raped anyone nor would they consciously say that they would.

However, if you look at what happens when the rules are removed, history does seem to show that ALL men rape. It's men just being men. Society keeps men from being men (and that's a good thing).

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Personally, I'd choke up a lung before paying someone for sex. I find it kind of ridiculous that other people do. Then again, I got a mani-pedi last week that rung me up a hundred bucks.

Likewise, I'd choke a lung to pay more for woman's hair color than for men's hair color, or whatever ridiculous price women pay for underthings when my boxers are something like 3 or 4 dollars each at Costco.

I'd choke a lung if someone told me that this silly piece of jewelry costs two hundred bucks, if the gold in it was only worth half that. Certainly I'd choke a lung on what women must pay for their shoes, and their purses, since my Bostonians cost about $150 but I only need a single pair and my Coach wallet is in the same range, and lasts for about 10 years or so (shoes last about 5 years, now that I'm retired).

So, yeah. We pay through the nose for different stuff.
And each overpayment must have a reason.
But I'm sure the reasons are different.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Again, not my experience, but I haven't been to bed ever with another guy, so, I can only relate to this complaint with bemused satisfaction.

Well that was unexpected.

I always assume men bed their age, and women bed something like double their age when they're younger, and half their age when they're older. Add an order of magnitude, and then maybe even double it thereafter for gay men, and drop it drastically for gay women.

I have easily had my age, but I'm not notching my bedposts. It is just what happens over time. The numbers just go up, and I would think my numbers rather low for this population of open-minded adventurous kinksters.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Just so you know. Performance is not like cock size.


Seems reasonable.

You can improve performance by 100% just by trying, whereas cock size is a given that occurred, for the most part, by a testosterone spurt while babies were still in their mommies' wombs. (Research seems to back this one up, so if you don't believe me, I can dig it up.)


< Message edited by crumpets -- 11/27/2015 8:56:20 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/27/2015 10:04:57 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
crumpets, while your main concern is priciness, you would have to get your answer from the horse's mouth, and so far there haven't been any takers.

Yeah. You always know what I'm going to realize, but well before I even know that I need to realize it.
I should just forgo the forums and ask you privately all my questions! :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
You describe the massage parlor scenario at roughly $200 a pop for an hour-long "massage." There, you get privacy without having to pay for a hotel room (or already having secured one while in town on business, let's say) so you can expect to pay more than you would a street hooker.

I think a street hooker is gross, but, I'm sure if you do it in the car, it's cheap by way of comparison. Maybe 50 bucks? Dunno. Maybe $100?

A hotel room adds $150 to $200 alone to the bill (at least here in the valley, and probably half that out in the country).

It's not Charlie Sheen territory, but it's a more expensive release than masturbation would be, for sure.
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
The hooker you pick up at the hotel bar is going to charge your more, presumably, than that same street hooker who isn't going to set aside an hour of her time for you to get off. Whatever add-ons/extras from the standard rate is going to cost you more, and you'll be expected to tip in most cases. As with a new video game release, those micro-transactions are going to add up.

I'm a terrible tipper. So, for me, it's zero extra (unless I fall in love with her, which happens, from time to time and then I'm out of control anyway because it's stupid to fall in love with a hooker).

I tend to fall in love after sex, not before, so, maybe I'm odd that way. Dunno.

But, otherwise, for me, there are no addons.
But, for most guys, what you say is certainly true.
I don't think I'm normal.
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
What's interesting about this generic sex-for-pay subject is that there are an abundant number of streams-of-consciousness topics which stem from it, including the subject of not having to pay for sex.

Yeah. I can wax prolifically for days on this subject, and probably not even stay to the point. Sigh. ADD be gone!

Oh, look! A butterfly.
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
I tend to not be impressed by designer labels, and an old classic would be an investment purchase, the Omega watch, the Mikimoto cultured pearls, the vintage Canon camera, the Nikon binoculars, the vintage Orvis fishing rod with vintage Hardy Bros fishing reel, etc.

I do similar things with my tools.
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
the only logical component is whether the man feels that he is getting his money's worth depending on his expectation level(s).

Makes sense.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Personally, I happen to be old fashioned about these kinds of things. I say this so folks understand that I'm not huge on the casual sex idea. However, as a Dominant woman, I really don't question my ability to go out and get laid if I wanted to. Frankly, I happen to think that's true of a very high majority of women, even those who don't know it.

Oh, to be a woman!
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
obtaining sex is way down on the totem pole. It's the Who that matters.

You women are weird. You have your priorities backward!
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Sex is overrated, I can manage just fine on my own

If you really mean that, I don't understand in the least.

For me, there's no tit in my hand. No soft buttery thighs. No soft moans of pleasure. Nothing to kiss. Nothing to lick. Nothing to play with except my cock. Yuck.

It works. But it's only a workaround to the problem.

(in reply to dreamlady)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/27/2015 11:14:07 AM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
We take a big gamble each time we try out a new sex partner, knowing that the odds are not stacked in our favor at the throw of the dice. When we do find that diamond in the rough, then he potentially becomes a keeper, having passed through that ring of fire. (There are many more rings to pass through, so good sex isn't necessarily sufficient either.)
ALL women take huge risks with their bodies, and with their physical safety by being alone with a man, even a man she considers to be a friend, who could then turn out to be a stalker. Chances are, a man isn't going to risk as much (STDs aside) by being alone with a woman or worrying about whether she turns out to be a nutjob. (There are always exceptions, of course.

Yes. It's all riskier for you women.
I'm glad I'm a guy.
The bad thing about being a guy is we waste so much time LOOKing for sex.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
it is compulsory for sexual attraction and arousal, then it's a fetish.

I had not realized this distinction.
I guess I don't have any fetishes then.
Sigh. I'm so boring. I just like sex and worship.

(in reply to dreamlady)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/27/2015 8:29:00 PM   
dreamlady


Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

I think a street hooker is gross, but, I'm sure if you do it in the car, it's cheap by way of comparison. Maybe 50 bucks? Dunno. Maybe $100?

I've heard (from unreliable sources) that the average time a john takes is something like 6-8 minutes, and that would include inside of a brothel establishment.
So, you have your 2-minute wonders, and a guy who might last a little over 10 minutes.
How many not-for-hire ladies are going to put up with that? Even when you add in an extra 5 or so minutes of rushed foreplay?
No wonder so many john dudes end up having to pay cold, hard cash to get their rocks off.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
I'm a terrible tipper.

Omg, when they see you coming, it's rock-paper-scissors as to who has to end up getting stuck with you, then.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
So, for me, it's zero extra (unless I fall in love with her, . . .
I don't think I'm normal.

What you characterize as falling in love is sexual infatuation. You are hormone-driven, and it would appear the oxytocin-type bonding chemicals don't get released into your system until after the sexual act(s) have been consummated.
It might be "normal" in a lot of men, left to their own devices. Nature's grand equalizer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
obtaining sex is way down on the totem pole. It's the Who that matters.

You women are weird. You have your priorities backward!

You say this tongue-in-cheek (I think). Might I remind you that not all men are horndogs who put the cart before the horse.

A related subject, but this has to do with objectification vs. subjectification.
Those who want to be sexually objectified, will tend to sexually objectify others without questioning that this is what they are doing.
Those who want to be treated like an individual, will tend to subjectify others.
You can either take a piecemeal approach or a holistic approach to coupling. Me, I'd rather have the whole enchilada and BE the whole enchilada.

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Sex is overrated, I can manage just fine on my own

If you really mean that, I don't understand in the least.

The context was in reference to casual sex, not intimate sexual relations with a pair-bonded mate.

FYI, I never said I could manage indefinitely.

DreamLady

_____________________________

Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 11/30/2015 8:14:22 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
Yeah. I was talking about laws against doing things to stuffed animals, horses, sheep, and dropping your pants to stuff a love doll in public. That kind of stuff gets only men in trouble (for the most part).

I can't help it. This just reminded me of the guy in SC who kept bothering a certain horse. The owners of the horse had to install security cameras to catch the guy. Got arrested, out on bail, went back and bothered the same horse. Some people are beyond comprehension sometimes.

quote:

They get huffy.

<trimmed>

None have gone ballistic with me.

However, I must admit I don't get deep with them, so, I'm always only on a base level, so, maybe I'm not invested enough in the profile to feel the hurt or to see the threat?

Well, there's also that part about that it's not really you, so no threat.

Since I stopped reading or answering email from people I don't know or those that I don't know someone in common with, I really don't deal with it these days. I couldn't say if it's as bad as it used to be. Some posters could probably be better on the subject.


quote:

Makes sense though.

There was a study of narcissists... <trimmed>

OK, the narcissists stuff is interesting but I think it comes from the other side of the scale, too. Mainly being those with unhealthy levels of low self esteem that don't want to face it. It's one thing to feel that a person isn't a human being of worth and dealing with that as an internal issue. When confronted with that from an exterior source, it can be worse and people react very badly to that.

quote:

I guess that makes sense.
I had to ask the girl out on a date and I had to ask her to dance.
So, I'd be the one getting rejected.

I think it's not "men" who are rejected who behave badly though; it's "people" and it's only a small percentage of people. Let's say it's 1/10th for now, but I have no idea what percentage of people can't handle rejection.

I agree. I'm not saying it's a large percentage. I'd have no clue how to determine how often.

quote:

Well, "I" played football, and I wrestled and I ran track and I rowed crew, etc., so, I met with a lot of success and failure all at the same time because "I" wasn't ever the best football player, nor the best wrestler, nor the best runner, etc.

So, maybe the men who can't handle rejection don't have the practice that I have in it!

There's a difference between that and areas where it's more like a man feel as though he has less manhood. The analogies that I came up with would be long term unemployment when all of your other acquaintances have careers that financially support their families. That, or het males who are assaulted by other men. Particularly some cases where it's a sexual assault and there is an unwanted physical response. Not less of an athlete territory. The real stuff that makes a man feel like less of a man.

quote:

No. Again you caught me. Not really.

Yet, a significant portion of sex enhancement commercials make it look like those conversations are common place. I'm going to be nice and not say more about this.

quote:

No no no... you don't get it.
Viagra is GREAT STUFF!

I actually do get it. I promise.

quote:

Likewise, I'd choke a lung to pay more for woman's hair color than for men's hair color, or whatever ridiculous price women pay for underthings when my boxers are something like 3 or 4 dollars each at Costco.

As a personal note, hair color at the salon is one thing I do have trouble spending money on. Same amount as my medi/pedi but color by clairol is a more practical solution, cheaper, and works just as well. Fifteen bucks or eighty bucks plus tip. You don't want to listen to me go into what I think of the price of bras.

quote:

Seems reasonable.

You can improve performance by 100% just by trying, whereas cock size is a given that occurred, for the most part, by a testosterone spurt while babies were still in their mommies' wombs. (Research seems to back this one up, so if you don't believe me, I can dig it up.)

No need. I'm actually familiar with this. It's exactly why I don't see the point of males bragging about cock size. Do you see where I'm coming from?

Performance, on the other hand, some men will work to improve it and others won't. (It's not really about how long it lasts either. A person who's lousy is lousy no matter how many minutes tick away on the clock.) If everybody was good at sex, there wouldn't be so much out there about how to improve performance outside of the stuff about how to get or maintain an erection.

Aside from all of that, while the monetary cost of what people will spend on obtaining sex would give some people sticker shock, it has been coming out that there are other costs as well. I know it might seem like a big leap but in the Fogle and Sheen cases, I'm still thinking part of this is sexual addiction. We know that addictions can go from one area of obsession to another because the person still has the obsessive/addictive personality. Sheen's been addicted to drugs how many periods in his life? I think he's probably been addicted to sex all along, too. Fogle obviously had an addiction to food. He corrected his behavior about food but not his additive personality. Add into that the point of Folge not exactly having a huge sexually desirable situation in his formative years. I don't think there was any way this was going to end well.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 12/1/2015 12:28:46 PM   
missnikki6969


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/28/2015
Status: offline 		Yea it is crazy. I use to be an escort and most of the men who were my clients they were away on business and missed their wifes and just wanted some female company not necessarily sex. Others were just lonely and they didn't want to get into the whole relationship thing just to have a girl they could call when their horny to come have sex and leave with out the expense of having to wine and dine.

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 12/2/2015 2:53:25 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I find it amazing that people are willing to pay over $200 per for dinner at the Four Seasons. Why aren't they satisfied getting a fried fish sandwich at Long John Silver's for $10.

Same damn thing. If something matters enough to you, if the appetite it satisfies is something you crave, then it's worth that money.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to missnikki6969)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 12/12/2015 10:59:38 AM   
thorneyone


Posts: 48
Joined: 9/20/2013
Status: offline 		"Is sex really that hard to come by that some people spend thousands to millions, per sex act? "
Well, the answer to that is entirely subjective.
It also has a myriad nuances.
I can speak as a man who has had an awful lot of sex with prostitutes.
How I feel about that is hard to explain.
How you fee about that is of no real interest to me here, so I would be obliged if you could spare any outrage and ridicule.
To say I am a man who is terrified of rejection is an understatement and I note with relief that the phenomenon hasn't escaped others here.
Then there is the difficult subject of taste. Put simply, I do not fancy semi obese ladies and the only way I can have the women I desire is by paying them.
Yes, I am bereft of self esteem, confidence, sex appeal............... etc etc. I am also plain, not particularly bright or prosperous.
How much anyone pays for sex is purely related to their ability to pay.
Loneliness and sexual frustration are huge sources of sadness among men and there are no real surprises here.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 12/13/2015 12:02:06 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		Pumpkin pie - turkey. One day someone will post a nice scone recipe. you are allowed to play with the fakes and consume their time

There are many reasons guys, odd couple, rarely single women (my muffin rate are most reasonable in an outrageous nammer), pay for it. So many I cannot be bothered mentioning.

Thing about me is I always want sex and cake and cuddles.

I learned eras, epochs, eons ago; in a singular moment in time ( will tell the story sometime that moment in time); a long, long, long time ago; good fuks are rare, and worth 100s of bad uns

Why I myself can go vast periods of time without ravishing another into alternate continuum's. But I have no recollection of lasting a calendar year and my swollen ball sack thinks this is man, noble man.

(in reply to thorneyone)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy t... - 2/16/2016 8:56:30 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thorneyone
How much anyone pays for sex is purely related to their ability to pay.
Loneliness and sexual frustration are huge sources of sadness among men and there are no real surprises here.


Just to update this thread with the current events, it seems that our Luv Guv is back in the news with high-priced ladies, this one a Russian charmer less than half his age in NYC (911 calls and all - so - expect to be a bit confused).

  • Eliot Spitzer’s alleged choking victim accused another man of assault
  • What We Know About the Woman Eliot Spitzer Met With in NY
  • Former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer denies accusation of assault


    (in reply to thorneyone)
    • Profile   Post #: 100
    Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
    All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: I find it amazing what some people pay to satisfy their sexual needs Page: <<   < prev  3 4 [5] 6 7   next >   >>
    Jump to:





    New Messages No New Messages
    Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
    Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
     Post New Thread
     Reply to Message
     Post New Poll
     Submit Vote
     Delete My Own Post
     Delete My Own Thread
     Rate Posts




    Collarchat.com © 2025
    Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

    0.188