dreamlady
Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
But in my experience, when a man is "really into" a Lady ... he will strive to please Her anyway he can. He doesn't really need a chastity device, as he loves the "mental" bondage, too.
That was a helpful insight that many "subs" don't get. It isn't just with chastity, it's with other external reinforcements of a physical nature.
I'm not talking about the accoutrements of play. Chastity "slaves" don't consider this play and neither do their Keyholder Mistresses, even when the arrangement is a *business* one where Keyholder becomes D/s taskmaster and gets compensated in some form or another.
Take a collar for instance, a ritualized symbol of ownership. Unlike the exchanging of wedding rings, though, neither a collar or a cockcage represents a reciprocal commitment in and of itself.
I do take collaring seriously, however, I surely wouldn't insist that my sub venture out in public and go to work daily wearing one.
We would have a discreet symbol of ownership and of our mutual commitment to one another in a piece of jewelry (necklace chain, bracelet, ring), whatever would be more practical for him to wear around the clock (and for me also, I might add, as lovers).
It is this fixation with requiring physical reinforcement of submission that I take exception to within my own dynamic (what works for others is none of my concern).
I don't do play partners, nor do I take on multiple subs, and like AmoraMora, I expect a full-fledged, total and complete relationship with my primary partner.
I don't do halfway and half-arsed intimate relations, and I certainly wouldn't want a sub who constantly struggles with maintaining his level of submission to his Mistress.
This is also why a corporal punishment dynamic doesn't work for me either outside of play.
Any sub or slave who expresses a desire to be beaten when he misbehaves or displeases his Mistress is already setting himself up to fail.
They usually say something along the lines of their willingness to get beaten into submission systematically so they won't commit the transgression again, and it reeks of "do-me" sub fantasy kink no matter how serious the undertaking appears to be on the surface.
Face it, if a man wants to masturbate or seeks physical release, he'll find a way to do it, cockcage or no cockcage.
Very often, I hear of male chastity slaves who figure that they'll take whatever discipline (punishment) gets meted out, the consequences of "cheating" be damned.
This is at cross-purposes with the natural desire a submissive should have to submit himself to Mental Domination, which I consider to be KEY within any D/s relationship dynamic. Without it, you have nothing more than Top/bottom play with the illusion of D/s thrown into the mix.
DreamLady
< Message edited by dreamlady -- 12/6/2015 8:36:09 AM >
_____________________________
Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti
|
RE: chastity devices - help me understand, please - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread