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How Realistic is it - 11/28/2015 2:29:39 PM   
Emerald7


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/29/2015
Status: offline 		I find that I am wanting to meet someone dominant that is able to do puppy play and also play without the puppy as well. Is it realistic to think I can find one man to do both, or should I be looking for a handler to train my puppy and a Dom to train me?

I want to do this, and I get alot of emails, but the problem I have is that I don't want to be mean and not respond, but I also don't want to get into any kind of discussion with someone when I don't know what they look like. I don't post sexual pictures, but I do have a picture of myself up that I would put on facebook if I needed to. Do you think I am being too shallow in wanting to know before speaking to someone if there is even a small physical attraction.

Do I need to lower my expectations?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How Realistic is it - 11/28/2015 2:54:22 PM   
MissAelle


Posts: 17
Joined: 1/3/2014
Status: offline 		My general philosophy about expectations is that it has to be your own choice, really. Personally, for example, I'm only interested in guys below 30. If I can't find someone good enough under 30 (which a lot of old dudes try to tell me I won't, so obviously I should pick them instead...) then I have to decide whether I want someone below thirty more than I want someone at all. Am I prepared for maybe waiting five years until I find a guy meeting my requirements, or do I want to have someone -now- more than I want to have the 100% match? If that makes sense? So really, you are the only one who can decide if you should lower your expectations. Generally, I think there is always at least -one- person fitting just about any requirement, but the higher your expectations are the longer you might have to wait until you find someone meeting them.

About pictures: it's your right to set that requirement, obviously. But then it's also your choice if you miss the perfect person because they don't want to put up a picture for everyone to see. About feeling mean for not responding, I usually write all my "demands" on my profile, and then when people don't read it or completely ignore what I ask for, it's their own fault they're getting ignored.

(in reply to Emerald7)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How Realistic is it - 11/28/2015 3:04:04 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I just looked at your profile, one thing is how comfy are you with others knowing about what you are looking for? Could it influence your career? I'm asking because you have a picture up, you could also use the option of having a picture where you are less recognizable as a profile pic and then send a picture once you talked to somebody with "let's exchange pictures" might be less awkward than asking somebody for a picture.

You might want to rework your profile though, this "just email me here" is a bit odd, you're in the US, it's easy to get a cheap burner phone, make contact on the phone (switch it off if you don't want to talk), but you get a voice there, minimizes the game players a little bit. People might want to move it to the next level, you know talk, meet and all that, the way you write it sounds a bit like you only want to have the interaction here and there will never be a phone call or a meeting...

Just a few thoughts...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Emerald7)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How Realistic is it - 11/28/2015 5:40:15 PM   
Emerald7


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/29/2015
Status: offline 		Thanks for the advice... I am not worried about it effecting my career... my picture is nothing that isn't able to be on facebook, and to be honest, it is not like I have some high profile job. I also am not in the position to have to go out and pay extra for phones. I don't want to give out my personal information to people ie... my phone, email etc... I do not have any kind of messenger nor do I want to be tied down to my computer to sit and constantly chat back and forth. to me this site provides an email/private messaging. if you give out a burner phone, then decide you don't want to talk... you can switch it off, but then eventually you would need to turn it back on. thus allowing them to again call. or you would always need to go out and acquire new burner phones for every new encounter.

after only a few contacts on here, I don't think that I would want to be moving it on to anything when I have not even seen what someone looks like. I may go back and redo my profile, but I still would not want to give false hope that I would move to give out personal contact info.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How Realistic is it - 11/28/2015 5:55:27 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Well, most phones come with mailboxes and you can block numbers, and I wasn't suggesting you give the number to everybody, but if you get the feeling it might be a person you might want to meet, I would prefer to speak with them first on the phone, you know just to get a feel for him, as for the picture, don't be surprised if the picture is 10 years and 100 lbs out of date...

If you meet, meet in a public place, just for your own safety.

There are a lot of people playing games on here, so somebody might eventually just want to talk to you to make sure you're not a guy and you possibly don't want to give your real number out straight away.

As for messengers, I would recommend installing skype, most computers come with cameras or you can buy them very cheap, so you could actually see the person, and nope, you wouldn't have it on all the time, you would have a time when you skype, I'd ask for that before you meet just to avoid surprises (some people also don't send their own picture)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Emerald7)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How Realistic is it - 11/28/2015 6:39:22 PM   
Emerald7


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/29/2015
Status: offline 		I see your point, I believe my computer has skype. I am just not comfortable being tied down to a computer but for verifying I am a female and the picture is recent and accurate I should likely install something. I heard that you could actually have a skype number and have it ring to your phone, is that true... ? I could set something like that up so that the number actually rang to my cell and not give my actual number.

that is one of the reasons I like to see the picture... and I would prefer to see one within the past 12 months... even that is pushing it. the picture on my profile was taken the day before I opened the account on here.

I will look into the skype thing this weekend.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How Realistic is it - 11/29/2015 5:56:51 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I find that I am wanting to meet someone dominant that is able to do puppy play and also play without the puppy as well. Is it realistic to think I can find one man to do both, or should I be looking for a handler to train my puppy and a Dom to train me?

So you want a guy who can train you as a sub and as a pup? Not 100% pup, but rather a sub with occasional time as one?
Should be no problem.
One of the great things about BDSM is that there's a nut for every screw, you just have to keep looking until you find it. And the best thing about having a vagina is that the world is full of nuts that want to screw it.
quote:

I want to do this, and I get alot of emails, but the problem I have is that I don't want to be mean and not respond, but I also don't want to get into any kind of discussion with someone when I don't know what they look like. I don't post sexual pictures, but I do have a picture of myself up that I would put on facebook if I needed to. Do you think I am being too shallow in wanting to know before speaking to someone if there is even a small physical attraction.

I would suggest exchanging an email or three, then, if you feel there's potential, ask for a photo.
Be honest, tell em why.
Nothing wrong with having parameters.
This is purely my opinion, but sure, there has to be a physical attraction at some level. Nothing shallow about that.
And if the person doesn't meet it, just say, "Sorry-you're not what I'm looking for" and move on with life.
At this juncture, the block button is your friend.


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to Emerald7)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How Realistic is it - 11/29/2015 6:54:10 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Nothing wrong with you wanting to see a pic first. As long as you realize the pic you see may be from ten years ago, or took an hour of dressing to look that good.

Don't invest so much. Mostly we recommend meeting for coffee, half hour tops. And if you aren't attracted, the nothing wrong in saying almost immediately that you don't have the chemistry you need and you're wishing them good luck.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How Realistic is it - 11/29/2015 12:48:56 PM   
Emerald7


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/29/2015
Status: offline 		thanks, I appreciate all the advice.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How Realistic is it - 11/29/2015 1:00:52 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emerald7



that is one of the reasons I like to see the picture... and I would prefer to see one within the past 12 months... even that is pushing it. the picture on my profile was taken the day before I opened the account on here.





I'm not sure about the skype to your phone, but if you have a smartphone, you can use skype even on your phone, and well, yes, if you are on skype, you see the other person and the other person sees you, so you can judge for yourself if they have sent you a recent picture and if they haven't, you don't waste your time meeting them ;)

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to Emerald7)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How Realistic is it - 11/29/2015 1:19:15 PM   
Emerald7


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/29/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze


quote:

ORIGINAL: Emerald7



that is one of the reasons I like to see the picture... and I would prefer to see one within the past 12 months... even that is pushing it. the picture on my profile was taken the day before I opened the account on here.





I'm not sure about the skype to your phone, but if you have a smartphone, you can use skype even on your phone, and well, yes, if you are on skype, you see the other person and the other person sees you, so you can judge for yourself if they have sent you a recent picture and if they haven't, you don't waste your time meeting them ;)

Good to know, I am going to look into the skype thing. I do have a smart phone. I will see if I can get it set up, at least that way, I am not being too extreme.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How Realistic is it - 11/29/2015 10:09:16 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emerald7

I find that I am wanting to meet someone dominant that is able to do puppy play and also play without the puppy as well. Is it realistic to think I can find one man to do both, or should I be looking for a handler to train my puppy and a Dom to train me?

I want to do this, and I get alot of emails, but the problem I have is that I don't want to be mean and not respond, but I also don't want to get into any kind of discussion with someone when I don't know what they look like. I don't post sexual pictures, but I do have a picture of myself up that I would put on facebook if I needed to. Do you think I am being too shallow in wanting to know before speaking to someone if there is even a small physical attraction.

Do I need to lower my expectations?


I can understand why someone won't post a picture publically, but I wouldn't get into a long email exchange with anyone who won't send a (g rated) picture privately,

(in reply to Emerald7)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How Realistic is it - 12/14/2015 7:26:08 PM   
littleclip


Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
Status: offline 		for the op I don't have a problem of my face online but some do you can send a pic on a separate service and if you ever meet in person have a safe call

_____________________________

currently owned by LadyAthena15805
i will always come to the call of those i love


(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How Realistic is it - 12/15/2015 2:15:48 PM   
WickedsDesire


Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline 		I will not speak to anyone in-depth no matter the site, who cannot verify themselves to me (kik never counts). I believe all should adopt that approach. Only a minority of people verify themselves to sites, should that option exist...and they merely verify who they are, not what. But it is a start.
I always wanted to verify myself by writing wickedsdesire on my cock, but what else should i write in the remaining two footer of blank space
You get a lot of mails because there are so few credible women here, or honest men. Tell me what you have sent an honest man.

And no you should not reply to hidden identities, ever unless you wish to tar and feather em – bit their wifeys will be cross.

Good people exist but you need to look for them

(in reply to littleclip)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How Realistic is it - 12/15/2015 2:53:20 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Here's a starting point: https://fetlife.com/groups/19233

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to WickedsDesire)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How Realistic is it - 12/17/2015 2:14:52 PM   
MistressRage


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emerald7

I find that I am wanting to meet someone dominant that is able to do puppy play and also play without the puppy as well. Is it realistic to think I can find one man to do both, or should I be looking for a handler to train my puppy and a Dom to train me?

I want to do this, and I get alot of emails, but the problem I have is that I don't want to be mean and not respond, but I also don't want to get into any kind of discussion with someone when I don't know what they look like. I don't post sexual pictures, but I do have a picture of myself up that I would put on facebook if I needed to. Do you think I am being too shallow in wanting to know before speaking to someone if there is even a small physical attraction.

Do I need to lower my expectations?


Nope, not shallow at all! I want a picture from prospective playmates too. While physical attraction isn't always everything, it is important to some people.

(in reply to Emerald7)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How Realistic is it - 12/29/2015 8:06:00 AM   
DocStrange


Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emerald7

I find that I am wanting to meet someone dominant that is able to do puppy play and also play without the puppy as well. Is it realistic to think I can find one man to do both, or should I be looking for a handler to train my puppy and a Dom to train me?

I want to do this, and I get alot of emails, but the problem I have is that I don't want to be mean and not respond, but I also don't want to get into any kind of discussion with someone when I don't know what they look like. I don't post sexual pictures, but I do have a picture of myself up that I would put on facebook if I needed to. Do you think I am being too shallow in wanting to know before speaking to someone if there is even a small physical attraction.

Do I need to lower my expectations?


No need to lower your expectations. I would ask for a pic. I generally ask to meet in a public place first to have a good discussion with the person to see if are wants/personalities are compatible. This also helps weed out the married people :)

(in reply to Emerald7)
Profile   Post #: 17
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