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betataster -> RE: Why is it so hard to find a dominatrix? (2/26/2016 4:58:43 PM)
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Let me go ahead and give you some input from someone who's found success in just a week on the CS site. I have absolutely no experience in the lifestyle but I have a ton of experience in life and I am, if I do say so myself, very good with people skills. And I might season this with some things that I picked up from observation in the last week so anything that is specific to the lifestyle, take it with a grain of salt.
First off, contacting a potential Domme with a two line or three line "Hey, like your profile. Let's talk a little more" is not going to get you very far, IMO. The first thing you need to do is read their entire profile carefully, some of them have little trick questions in there that you need to answer in your first post but the main reason you read their profile carefully is first, to see if they are a potential match or not. Just because you both have a particular fetish or number of fetishes checked does not make necessarily you a good match. Once you determine that you might have a match, read the profile again and read the journal entries (I usually read at least two pages of them) and try to make some personal connection with them as a human being. Once you've made that connection, communicate something related to that connection. This is normal Basics of Human Communication 101 stuff. And I think, on this site, you don't need less of that, you need more of it, particularly when dealing with dominant females. Avoid physical flattery, that's the last thing they probably want to hear from you in an introduction unless you can phrase it in some novel and charming way, good luck with that. There's no need to get into much flatter at all though if there is something in their profile that you can appreciate, then appreciate it. And I don't mean their ass. Better if you simply express appreciation for something that you both appreciate in common. You're trying to establish commonality here. Yes, mention that you think that you're a possible match and invite the Domme to continue the conversation. End off politely. Then wait. Wait some more if necessary. If you don't hear back from her and she's read your message then assume she's not interested. Let it go. If she hasn't read the message but has been online, wait a couple days then send one and only one more attempt. I found that taking that approach led to a very nice percentage of invitations to continue the correspondence and from there some nice things developed.
Okay I seem to have used up a whole bunch of words here already and I don't want to run out of pixels or internet or anything so I'm going to leave this as "How to Introduce Yourself" and stop at this point.
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