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Rape Culture on Collarspace - 12/6/2015 3:05:05 AM

sweetieDA

Posts: 129
Joined: 4/3/2015
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Why do posters suggest that rape is acceptable within BDSM, publicly criticise those who attempt to set boundaries and limits, and make rape jokes about other posters?

What effect does Collarspace's rape culture have on issues of consent and pressure within the BDSM scene? Is it acceptable to suggest that a kinkster with limits is not a proper submissive or that setting limits is a bad thing? Is it acceptable to verbally abuse kinksters who attempt to set limits?

If a female submissive was complaining that she didn't want to do anal, would it have been acceptable to call her names and joke about tying her down and raping her? Would it have been acceptable to joke about tearing her sexually?

Is Collarspace a misandric, anti-male forum?

Are collarspace posters aware that rape is a serious issue that affects both men and women, in and outside of kink?

What do collarspace posters intend to do to address the rape culture on this forum?

quote:

My ass is so tight, I think it will rip if somebody put dildo in it.

quote:

You say that like it would be a bad thing.

quote:

...you being afraid of having your ass reamed [...] is nothing to do with bdsm

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so why exactly are you wanting BDSM, is it to only fulfill your fantasies

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you retard

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...your a tosser you really need to listen to what people are saying

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...you pathetic boy

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Dude, your ignorance is showing and you've got a lot to learn as a slave!! [...] Would love to see the look on your face when she hits your prostate

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Damn, somebody strap the fool down and let's just work his ass over! He can thank us for it later!!

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Yeah i'm in i'll bring the lube!!!!

quote:

Why should a woman pleasure you for free? What does she get in return? You won't even let her do what brings her pleasure.

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 12/6/2015 3:29:24 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
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A sock getting a rise out of people and people not taking him seriously gets you to decide it's a rape culture and men are treated badly...

The sock came on talking about dildos and his anal region, if somebody says "anal not for me", nobody will argue, but you obviously missed out on him talking over and over again about dildos and his ass (selective reading maybe?) and him trying to get a rise out of people

I first wondered about your obvious disconnect, then I had a look at your profile and read the dross on there about how orgasm denial is magic pill for every woman to achieve everlasting happiness as a slave and all women are inferior to men.

Darling, not arguing that you are inferior, just arguing that you try to pin it down to one gender. Try and get a grip and don't think your kink works for everybody or that all women are naturally submissive, just like not every man is submissive, you know there is thing called sexual preference.

Now I couldn't care less if you ever had an orgasm or you will ever have one, I can only tell you that a guy who'd be incapable of giving me orgasms wouldn't be with me for very long or most healthy other women. It's just such a normal part of life that obviously escapes you, like so many other things.

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 12/6/2015 4:05:01 AM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
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Usually, I am pretty much the nice one...I defend almost anybody BUT...I think you misread the post you have quoted pieces from. First, only one of them makes reference to force..and I will give you that..it would be inappropriate to promote force/sexual assault. The other people basically are not saying anything wrong--the prostate thing is something many men state to be pleasurable. That poster was making the point that there is some "fun" for men in anal sex. The others were taking him to task for the fact that, well, very few masters are in it just to pleasure the slave. The reality of being a slave is, whether sexually, domestically, emotionally-people identify as a slave because they ENJOY giving others pleasure. Now, if he states that he is a service bottom...yeah...most of them have the right to expect to get something in return.

The Master/slave relationship has never been a symbiotic relationship. Consensual or not. He is free to call himself whatever he wants, but you cannot get upset when people apply the expected standard and traits of that role to you. I can call myself a horse and run around asking people to ride me...I CANNOT cry foul when they expect me to sleep in a barn and eat nothing but grass & oats.

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 12/6/2015 4:30:31 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Well, I guess I should lead into this by saying I'm kind of glad that the comments you pulled from the thread weren't mine. <Whew>

Trigger warning.

I'll meet you half way. While I think the thread you pulled those comments from was created by somebody who had less than honest intentions and specifically went about insulting the kinks of others (while, I suspect, had the desire to engage in those kinks, himself) it is an interesting topic. I don't think the thread would have went over any better if some guy had come along saying his dick was so big that all of the women wanted it. That kind of shtick doesn't even work for women who come along, trying to tell folks that her ummm... Stuff is so lined with gold that every male she comes across wants what is between her legs. If I ever become that delusional, somebody please shoot me in the head.

A question in return. Do you really think that thread was an attempt to set limits? Do you really think there are a bunch of random women who wanted to engage in anal sex with him? If that was really true, don't you think (know) that dozens of men that would have been asking him to pass those screen names on? How many het women of your acquaintance are out to peg anybody and everybody?

I do think rape culture exists. I do think there are some folks who cross this site that don't know the difference between rape play and actual assault. I'm not talking about folks who have TPE, O/p, CnC type of relationships. If that's you're way... Great! I'll be thrilled for you. Hey, I like engaging in rape play myself, under certain circumstances. Granted, haven't done it in a while but it's not exactly foreign to me.

Is CM an anti-male forum? I don't think so. I'd like to see it become an anti-troll forum.

There are some male s-types here who have done really well. There have been a few that are lucky they aren't in my neighborhood because my hat would have been in the ring. Me and about two dozen other female Dominants. (I'm low balling that figure.) They know who they are. I'm not going to embarrass anyone. Most males who come across this site could take a page from their book.

I don't talk much about being a leather person anymore. There have been some 'so-called' leather folks who have done some really terrible things and I'd prefer to be distanced from that. I'm still kind of big on the idea that gender doesn't matter a lot when it comes to these issues. If a person has been a victim of a crime, rather than a consensual partner in kink, I don't care if they are male, female, straight, gay, POC, Dom, sub, or switch.

Some people wouldn't take a slave who has a hard limit of anal. That's ok, too. That means the people involved have found an area of incompatibility. Believe it or not, D-types can pass people over if one of their "must haves" are on someone's hard limit list.

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 12/6/2015 4:31:25 AM

LadyConstanze

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I just did a count, 17 comments of the "victim" all talking about a dildo up his ass, almost everybody telling him "Not interested", sock comes back talking about dildo up his ass, people tell him "NOT INTERESTED" more "Don't you want to stick a dildo up my ass? You are all sick" comments from sock....

Then somebody comes on and defends sock and talks about rape culture, that's not somebody a few fries short of a happy meal, that's a happy meal without fries or burger...

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 12/6/2015 4:43:54 AM

Greta75

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quote:

Why should a woman pleasure you for free? What does she get in return? You won't even let her do what brings her pleasure.

I have to highlight this since I made this comment.

I don't expect a man to pleasure me for free. I find men who I can fulfill their fantasies and they can fulfill mine. We are exchanging something with each other, although not monetary.

But this dude is whining about not willing to do what they want, despite wanting them to do what he wants. For what he wants, he should then pay monetary value for it, since he doesn't want to give sexually in return.

To call this rape is stretching it.

And I say this as a woman who will pay for sex if I reach the stage where I have to. I don't see any problems with it. If I can pay a man to do exactly what I want to pleasure me, and his happy to collect money in return for it. Why not? That's great!

So I would suggest that you omit my comment in relations to rape. AS there was nothing about Rape in my comments.

I abhorr rape, and I always believe in consensual exchange. Surely him paying for sex is not considered rape. Since there would be a mutual agreement exchange.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 12/6/2015 4:49:12 AM >

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 12/6/2015 4:44:07 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Can I get an official count of how many times folks who were into anal play were called sickos, etc?

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 12/6/2015 5:02:24 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Can I get an official count of how many times folks who were into anal play were called sickos, etc?

I didn't want to go back and read the dross again, but quite a few times, and it was also mentioned quite a few times by several women that they aren't interested in sticking anything up his rectum, didn't stop him from telling us how "tight" he is (he kept on volunteering that info, in fact forcing it on others repeatedly) - I guess he was talking about being too cheap to pay for somebody who'll fuck him until he can't cum anymore (his kink, particularly BDSM, dontcha think?), isn't tight a slang word for cheap?

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 12/6/2015 5:15:39 AM

Cell

Posts: 409
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There's a show on TV down here, (or used to be, I saw ads for it a while ago... anyway) It was a TV show where you watch people who are watching TV shows... You watch them watching TV! -___- That's kinda how I feel at the moment. Reading a thread about a thread (a fake sock puppety thread no less). What I wouldn't give for a decent topic to show up. No offence OP.

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 12/6/2015 5:21:17 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
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OP..
As mine are up there front and centre, Ill take credit for my own comments thank you.

Socks, ...hundreds of them in the past what four weeks? All kinds of nastiness, mostly against women, the mods, the site, and anyone who dare challenge them.
My resistance to stupid and pathetic statements is low. Very low.
His statements were the ideal snark bait. I took it as a sadist, no suggestion of touching him, , no suggesting I do it to him, no threat, just snark. If it came across to you as misandrist, rapey or whatever, that is your comprehension and lack of knowledge on my views on consent, and rape of men AND women.

How many times did he mention, not only his ass, but his "tight" ass.
BTW
I said...

quote:

No, you being afraid of having your ass reamed and considering it gay, is nothing to do with bdsm
Tight or not

Nothing to do with raping him, not even close, but you removed the "and considering it gay". Want to try a little bit harder to be willfully dishonest?
If you think thats rapey, or misandry, again, thats your lack of comprehension.

my other comment was a joke about some people having such tight asses(anal retentive) they can produce diamonds by squeezing tight. Not about invading assholes willy nilly

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 12/6/2015 12:00:06 PM

WickedsDesire

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Never noticed the thread in question and whether someone with a credible reality was doing the talking or slobbering. If it was the latter i’d suggest the allegorical Sherman tank and encourage it no more. Or straight to a mace-ing (allegorical of course).

Culture exists on all sites - I have no time for it.

My definition of sock is anyone with no credible reality - could be a liar or cheat, alternate reality talking pants from an authoritative point etc my mind does not differentiate between them as they are simply as bad as each other .

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 1/5/2016 12:18:01 AM

blinkingblythe

Posts: 28
Joined: 1/4/2016
From: New York City
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When I am about to enter a BSDM relationship, I am going in expecting my dom to take whatever he or she wants. That includes being stopped in the hallway and having my
dom pull down my undergarments and stick me in the ass (and I would love every second of it).
If I didn't want this, I would just go with a non BSDM relationship instead.

Complaining about this is like going into a strip club
and complaining you saw boobs.

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 1/5/2016 12:31:16 AM

Cell

Posts: 409
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BDSM is a broad subject and not everyone is turned on by non-consensual sex. Just like you have your specific likes, so do other people have theirs and theirs may not include being raped. If they went into a BDSM relationship wanting to pursue their kink of say spanking and in the process of that they were raped, that IS something that justifies complaint at the very least.

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RE: Rape Culture on Collarspace - 1/5/2016 9:25:54 AM

WickedsDesire

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i will ad op did you mean genuine souls or fake souls

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