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General tips needed - 7/18/2006 3:08:08 PM

jordanclock

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Joined: 7/17/2006
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I recently came into a relationship with a girl that thoroughly enjoys being submissive in every way. I have never had experience in a D/s relationship, and have only been dominant sexually. I'm looking for some general tips and guidelines that will help me make this the best experience for both of us.

We've already established that she wants 24/7 domination and basically has no boundaries on how far that goes. While I've never had experience with this, it's something I've always wanted, so there is no reluctance on my part.

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RE: General tips needed - 7/18/2006 3:41:24 PM

mnottertail

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Joined: 11/3/2004
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Well, there should be a shitload of reluctance, conservatism, what ever you want to call it. You own a human being, dogs forgive fuckin' near forever, humans do not, the good part of this is, that when two become as one, you will consider ALL decisions carefully.........remember, you live, command, decide, make future for you both. Hold this power comfortably, and in some awe. Remember, mistakes are OK, the final bet being that you will make overall good and equitable decisions, and use a craftsmans care.

Her side of the coin is she leaves when you don't get it or you are found inept.

Remember to care for and feed your pet, and entertain it once in awhile, even if it occasionally does things that you don't like.

I hope you own an intelligent one, with lots of potential in areas of life besides sex, to own the ill informed, ignorant, impudent, intransigent and indolent is no honor to own at all.

Become a better man. She will become a better woman, by dint of your doing.

Love her, cherish her, and fuck the shit outta her, any way you want.

That covers the basics..........that, in and of itself is going to take a long time to Master.

Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: General tips needed - 7/18/2006 4:50:57 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
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Ignore what you read on websites and buy lots of non fiction bdsm books, especially those put out by Greenery Press.

This website is pretty damn good however with castlerealm beings its evil opposite.

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RE: General tips needed - 7/18/2006 5:41:22 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
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Ja, I am gonna have to vote with Crappy here, Castlerealm has got heart, and maybe it is the 'Cosmo' of the kinkers, but you would be better served by printing off the chapters on whatever and cleaning your ass with it, mostly.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: General tips needed - 7/18/2006 5:42:29 PM

Cloudz

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Joined: 9/13/2005
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Jordan -

In your musings and contemplations on how to "do this thing" do not forget to relax and have fun...those will be the times that really count in the end. Best of luck and much laughter to you both.

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Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

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RE: General tips needed - 7/21/2006 6:33:30 AM

Seekingoneslave

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Joined: 4/25/2006
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You know this girl better than any of us here. Talk to her about exactly what she wants, how she envisions the relationship and exactly what she seeks. Do some of your own thought on what you're looking to get out of the relationship.

There's no set pattern. Each relationship is different. The best advice I can give is to do what makes both of you happy. Start into it slowly, expanding on what you've already done so that you're going at a pace at which you're both comfortable. Continue communicating and make certain it's what you both want.

As others have said, do some research...but don't take it to be gospel. You may find things you'll want to incorporate into your relationship and others you find unappealing. But always keep in mind that you are taking on a big responsibility...the care of and for another person.

If you'd like to talk or have questions, my door is always open. I wish you and your partner all the best.

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RE: General tips needed - 7/21/2006 10:20:14 AM

thegunslinger

Posts: 81
Joined: 6/4/2006
From: Grand Rapids, Michigan
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The best tool you have to make this lifestyle go as smoothly as possible, is communication. Have ya'll filled out boundary checklists? Talked about what you like/are comfortable with doing for the other person? Laid down a set of rules to operate by?

Just a few beginning questions to ask yourself and your sub.

_____________________________

"The essence of domination is to take another's power and then use it for mutual pleasure." - John Warren

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RE: General tips needed - 7/22/2006 6:14:46 AM

FangsNfeet

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Joined: 12/3/2004
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You're the King now. Have it your way. When she cooks, have her bring the food and drink to you. When you want something, call her and expect immediate attention. Though it's not always whips and chains, having her respect 24/7 is important. When you come home, put on the collar. You may want to lay down a few rules. One rule inparticular is that she has to ask for your permission before doing anything. This includes getting up, going to the bathroom, leaving the house, watch TV, log on the internet and such. If and when you have poker night/company, have her serve everyone. Depending on you company, you might decide to have where wear skimpy clothing or nothing at all.

She can whine, pout, and say no all she wants. After all, that will give you more practice with your whips, belts, tourment, and punishment.

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I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

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