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Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/18/2006 3:09:24 PM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline 		I don't know if this post will get many replies..but it's worth a shot

Today, an old friend of mine told me that loving yourself meant that "You ('me') learn to be the lover/love in your life that you've sought outside yourself and make it within yourself..."

What is your idea of loving yourself? Do you have a favorite mantra or saying that brought you to the place of loving yourself completely?

Thanks
Irishbynature


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What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/18/2006 7:25:33 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Oops I guess this post isn't about masterbation..

Mine is in order to love others, you have to learn to love yourself first. Embrace the positive and the negative, change what you can and learn to live with what you can't.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/18/2006 7:27:51 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Of course I love myself, if I didn't, then no one else would want too.

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Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/18/2006 7:39:30 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		I don't love everything about myself.

But I love my potential, and that's what I nurture with my self love.

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/18/2006 8:04:44 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		i love and like myself.  My own words to live my life by were given to me by my Mother,  Whatever you do always ensure you can look yourself in the mirror in the morning.  Throughout my life that is the rule i live by and i am passing the same rule to my kids.

As i started out in this kinky life i sought to find out more about myself as i am a firm believer if you dont know and like yourself how can you offer yourself to another?

No i am not perfect (although i am a legend in my own mind) there are things i could do better etc, however life friends and family are the most important, my profession is what affords me the life i am living so it does not rule me. 

great question everyone should ponder this imho

owned

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~~in His Chains i am free~~

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/18/2006 8:43:17 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline 		Prolly wayyy too much! HAR!



 - R


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"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/18/2006 8:54:57 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Not always. I have plenty of (sometimes daily) ups and downs in this regard - although I generally fake it well (I think), on the prinicple that if you fake it, you'll feel it, eventually. There are days and weeks that I do really love myself, though, and in general, I think my level of self-esteem in more healthy than not.

When I am feeling blue or down on myself, I try to remember what my mother used to say (she never,  ever in her life, it seemed, had a bout of lack of self-confidence): "Well, I just can't imagine anyone not wanting to be with me or talk to me; I am so much fun!"
(and she meant it - and she was fun and interesting, so it wasn't all hot air, or just bragging or inflated ego. She had a lot of interesting insights and read a lot and really was funny).

Somehow, I feel I will never muster up her level of self-confidence. But, it's nice to have someone in my immediate family who tried to teach me how to try to do that.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/18/2006 8:55:28 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/19/2006 12:29:25 AM   
fullofgrace


Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline 		i try :)

i find touchy feely things, like journal writing, sark's books, free association, and lots of naps tend to aid in my endeavour to love myself.


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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/19/2006 1:23:08 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature
Today, an old friend of mine told me that loving yourself meant that "You ('me') learn to be the lover/love in your life that you've sought outside yourself and make it within yourself..."
Irishbynature
Irish, my first though was
quote:

Lashra
Oops I guess this post isn't about masterbation..

Seriously, I think I am in a place now to honestly say I love myself and mean it... 

I got here by 1)embracing my shortcomings and accepting being fallible/imperfect, 2)recognizing that I am a decent human being with some very worthwhile qualities, 3)I do pretty well in terms of treating others as I'd like to be treated, 4)I don't measure myself against anyone else, and revel in the fact that I am unique; 5)I pray and have a strong family/friend support system; 6)I'm relatively smart, not bad looking, and can be a lot of fun, lol...  
I still have insecurities, and much growing to do in terms of acting in a way that shows love of myself as much as others, but I figure we are all works in progress while on earth.   M

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a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/19/2006 1:37:04 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		If I was a woman looking for a partner I wouldn't choose me.

I've never quite understood this self love line. I can't really find anything about myself to fall in love with. That being said, I am at ease with myself and care little what other people think about me.

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/19/2006 2:47:49 AM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

Of course I love myself, if I didn't, then no one else would want too.

You hit the nail on the head cuddle.....very wise words indeed.
quote:

ORIGINAL:Owned1
i love and like myself.  My own words to live my life by were given to me by my Mother,  Whatever you do always ensure you can look yourself in the mirror in the morning.  Throughout my life that is the rule i live by and i am passing the same rule to my kids.

I will try this!
quote:

ORIGINAL:BlkTallFullfig
got here by 1)embracing my shortcomings and accepting being fallible/imperfect, 2)recognizing that I am a decent human being with some very worthwhile qualities, 3)I do pretty well in terms of treating others as I'd like to be treated, 4)I don't measure myself against anyone else, and revel in the fact that I am unique; 5)I pray and have a strong family/friend support system; 6)I'm relatively smart, not bad looking, and can be a lot of fun, lol...  
I still have insecurities, and much growing to do in terms of acting in a way that shows love of myself as much as others, but I figure we are all works in progress while on earth.

Thanks for such a truthful and soulful reply:)
quote:

ORIGINAL: fullofgrace
i find touchy feely things, like journal writing, sark's books, free association, and lots of naps tend to aid in my endeavour to love myself.

I too love to write in a journal...and take naps!

SusanofO...love the honesty, thank you.
Caretakr and meatcleaver, Lashra.....loved your thoughtfulness as well.

Hugs ...again thanks everyone who replied
IBN










_____________________________


What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/19/2006 2:53:48 AM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		I am learning to love myself, it has been a long process.
 
It's hard to accept that I can be flawed and I can still be happy with myself.  I have my good days, and my bad ones.  There are days when I have the confidence of a goddess....and then the days where I just wanna hide my head under the covers and go away.
 
I hope this will get better as my journey continues..and I do long for the day when I can say that I love everything about myself.  Until then though, I can say I am a pretty cool chick..and I love myself a bit more every day.
 
~Andrea (Flutterbi)

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/19/2006 11:48:22 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: irishbynature

I don't know if this post will get many replies..but it's worth a shot

Today, an old friend of mine told me that loving yourself meant that "You ('me') learn to be the lover/love in your life that you've sought outside yourself and make it within yourself..."

What is your idea of loving yourself? Do you have a favorite mantra or saying that brought you to the place of loving yourself completely?

Thanks
Irishbynature


I have learned to love myself. Learned to accept myself. Learned to trust myself. Nothing special about it though; just part of growing up and maturing.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/19/2006 12:04:18 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		"Love myself?" Only when I'm masturbating!
Like, yes and others seem to as well.

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/19/2006 12:13:57 PM   
TSnGG2dressuup


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline 		It is only thru Self-Love that we can truly love another and be loved by another.  When we love ourselves, we know that we deserve love.  We can accept it, realize it and not be suspicious of it.  We do not need to seek validation outside of Our relationship.  We can feel secure because we know we deserve to be treated correctly.  We can fully love another because We can let go of that "What if...." scenario because people cease to be opportunities and experiences.  Loving somebody who does not love themselves is very sad and frustrating.  They never believe Your love is true.  They dont think they deserve You.  They seek validation from others, and self fulfill the destruction of the relationship by betraying the One who truly loves them thru their insecurities and self doubt.  It is heartbreaking.

The first love affair is the one with yourself.  It's the most important one.

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/19/2006 12:47:47 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		Can someone tell me where the idea came from that only through self love can we really love someone else?

I have never considered narcissim to be a positive trait. It's healthy to be comfortable with oneself and be confident but love......?

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 7/19/2006 12:48:34 PM >

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/19/2006 1:10:54 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tikkiee
I have learned to love myself. Learned to accept myself. Learned to trust myself. Nothing special about it though; just part of growing up and maturing.


Thanks for posting this. It feels like hope.  

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RE: Do you really "Love Yourself?" - 7/22/2006 2:50:01 PM   
TSnGG2dressuup


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

Can someone tell me where the idea came from that only through self love can we really love someone else?

I have never considered narcissim to be a positive trait. It's healthy to be comfortable with oneself and be confident but love......?


A Narcisist does not "Love" themselves in a healthy way.  Read the tale of Narcisist... He died looking at his own reflection in the water and that is where the term "Narcisim" comes from.  The Moral of the story is obsession with ones own IMAGE will kill you.  That is not self love.  Most people who stare into the mirror alot are insecure and trying to convince themselves they are ok or if they change something about the way they LOOK people will then love them, or they will then love themselves.  People have plastic surgery, lose massive amounts of weight, etc. and find they still hate themselves because its an inward struggle, not an outward problem.  We deal with this all the time in the Transgendered world.  Self loathing makes people do radical things to change themselves sometimes in an attempt to gain acceptance.  If you hate yourself, you cannot accept or give love.  You dont understand what love is.

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