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Journals and more... - 11/30/2004 8:25:44 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I keep a journal that i record my private thoughts in, daily experiences, dreams, fantasies and ideas and also rules. I also use it as a way to vent frustrations and explain feelings that come up as i have found that i can always seem to better put those into words with pen and paper rather than trying to verbalize them. This book is open to Master to read whenever He feels the urge. I am never punished for anything i may write in this book and sometimes it is a good start to communication between He and i. He can take time to give thought to my words before responding and He is always interested in my thoughts and feelings, even if they are sometimes negative. He can use it as a barometer so to speak to find out where i am emotionally, not that it is a replacement for daily open and honest communication, but merely an extra "tool" in his box. He knows when i am blissfully happy or when there is an issue that needs His attention. I can also use it to look back upon and reflect on the progress i make. It always amazes me how much my thoughts, feelings and limits change from one year to the next.

I also keep a seperate book that i call my "subbie's little helper". In it i keep lists of Master's likes and dislikes....things like food, favorite recipes. I keep ideas i run across on boards, online, in books or magazines....things i would like to try or make that i think would please Him. There is a section in there also for lifestyle friends and entertaining....what Sir John Doe and his submissive like.....special dietary requirements of friends such as vegan, diabetic or allergies. I keep phone numbers and lists of things that people in the lifestyle do or make, crafts, professional services, things like that. I have a calender and reminder section to remind me of upcoming dates or events, birthdays, anniversaries. In the back are pocket folders that i use for magazine articles, recipes, and little momentos. I find that this is a very helpful tool for me as sometimes life just gets hectic and it allows me to remember all the small details that make such a huge difference. When i am looking for something it is nice to have it right there at my fingertips.

I was just wondering if anyone else does this and if so, what kind of things do you record in yours and how do you find that it helps you and your Master....pros and cons?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"
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RE: Journals and more... - 11/30/2004 9:08:30 AM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		I tired keeping a journal. It didn't seem to work for me. For various reasons.

I like your other idea. It sounds like a great way to keep important information organized and at hand.

Take care,





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_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Journals and more... - 11/30/2004 9:26:52 AM   
strongnsubmissiv


Posts: 197
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		I too keep a journal and it's a great vent for frustrations. I find that i write in spurts in spats. I guess the demands of real life have something to do with it. One funny thing i've noticed though, is that unless i know someone is reading it, i tend to be lax and not write as much. That's not to say that i always write for the purposes of knowing someone will read it, but somehow it's more fulfilling to know somebody is reading my words.

For me, as it is i'm sure for many, we know we're different and our feelings are not something we can generally lay out on the table for other vanilla people to discuss. For the most part, unless you are partnered with a kinkyperson, there is limited space where we can talk freely about our D/s feelings. Forums like this, and journals are a couple tools i use to help me make sense of my different feelings.

sns

_____________________________

*** Strong and submissive are not contradictions ***

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Journals and more... - 11/30/2004 10:33:21 AM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		I keep a journal that Master knows about but it is private. On ocassion he will ask if I have written lately and sometimes I will say yes and give him a summary, but it is not expected.

As for the other journal, I am no where near that level of organization. It is a great idea and I admire your ability to maintain that "database".

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Journals and more... - 11/30/2004 8:12:05 PM   
harmony3709


Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline 		Regarding the journal, I tried that for a short while, but found that I also do not give it much effort unless I know my words will be read. I had a Dom once who suggested it, but was not interested in reading it, so I gave it up after a while.

I did do a very small version of your "subbies little helper" in my last relationship and I used it to keep track of instructions, etc., but didn't think of carrying it further as you described. I think it's a great idea and although single now, will definitely keep that tucked away as a tip for the future. Thanks for sharing, erin!!

harmony

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Journals and more... - 12/1/2004 12:48:43 AM   
liljoy


Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline 		the only times i use my journal is when i am feeling overwhelmed in negitivity. lol strangely enough i don't think i've ever been overwhelmed with happiniss or positivity. Not that i don't have those things in my life ut i can handle them better than the negitive stuff. i acctually haven't written in it in a long time. When Master and i fist went 24/7 i struggled a lot becaused i'd never been in a 24/7 D/s relationship before and learning what was expected of me and how to leave behind my old nilla ideas was often a struggle. Now that we are pretty firmly settled into our routine i find myself less and less overwhelmed and more and more comfortable expressing my feelings. i am 43 years old and THIS is the first relationship that i have ever been in where i not only feel save expressing my thoughts and feeling but it is also expected that i do so. What a wonderful freeing feeling to finally after all these years to e able to express myself and be safe and encouraged

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RE: Journals and more... - 12/1/2004 11:07:53 AM   
esclava


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/1/2004
Status: offline 		I keep a journal as well that is read by my Master. It's fairly easy for me since I've always kept a journal. I think it helps to communicate feelings that are hard to express. There are things that I write that I would never be able to express verbally.

submissive esclava

(in reply to liljoy)
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RE: Journals and more... - 12/2/2004 7:32:26 PM   
cynnacent1


Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

I was just wondering if anyone else does this and if so, what kind of things do you record in yours and how do you find that it helps you and your Master....pros and cons?

i haven't kept a journal in over 12 years. Master has informed me that i will be keeping a journal beginning this weekend. i have no idea what i will be inspired to write in it. How it might help my Master and i is yet to be discovered.


¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

_____________________________

Current imood of cynnacent1: [image]http://moods.imood.com/display/uname=cynnacent1/fg=339999ns=1/imood.gif[/image] Click the smiley to get your very own imood indicator.

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Journals and more... - 1/11/2005 5:26:48 AM   
Peep1962


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/11/2005
Status: offline 		i keep a journal, it is such a help to me to be able to pour out all insecurities, feelings etc Master reads it and encourages me to write down everything. Being apart this helps so much for Him to be able to understand me more.

(in reply to cynnacent1)
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RE: Journals and more... - 1/12/2005 6:02:45 AM   
misschevious


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline 		Erin,

How organised are you! I'm afraid I'm not that diligent although I'm thinking that I should start something like your second diary, coz the memory is not what it used to be.

quote:

I keep a journal that i record my private thoughts in


I have always been very reluctant to express myself in writing even more than verbally. Since I have met my Dom I understand that depth of communication is key. It was a lot of hard work for me at the beginning and incredibly difficult stuff.

As a newbie to the BDSM experience I started reading submissive's blogs and found that it really helped me. My Dom suggested that I start to keep a journal. I have only just started and I wouldn't exactly call it a journal as I don't do it daily however if I've had an experience that I feel like I need to process (further to our discussions about it) I have started writing about the experiences and my reactions to it. I have found it very helpful as I sometimes get a bit tongue tied and can't always express my exact meaning immediately.

My Dom asked to read what I had written, I thought I was going to keel over then and there, but I am so glad that he did as he has picked up little nuances and incorporated them into our play. E.g. little things he does during pain play that help me process the experience so much more easily. So I think that it’s been huge step forward for me and one with benefits far greater than I expected.


(in reply to Peep1962)
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RE: Journals and more... - 1/12/2005 10:14:29 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Does anyone worry about your journal being read by your kids, or after your death being read by family members?

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: Journals and more... - 1/12/2005 10:23:28 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		wow...and here I thought I was the only one who thought about such things....lol. Yes, I do worry about that, just as much as I worry about them finding all of my toys. Any thoughts or ideas how to get around this.....a trusted friend perhaps who comes over and "cleans house"?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to proudsub)
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RE: Journals and more... - 1/12/2005 10:34:12 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
From a personal point of view, I feel that the journel is no different to the beautiful and possibly 'whitehot' love letters sent by our grandparents during the war.... although in some cases depending on the content I can see how very personal it may be!

I have been told that there are such things as online diaries and journels which are password protected, like emails, so maybe google that and see? That way it can be stored elsewhere in the digital world for only the eyes that need it to see? Although there is nothing better than the hand written word...(IMO)

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Journals and more... - 1/12/2005 10:47:55 AM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
just as much as I worry about them finding all of my toys. Any thoughts or ideas how to get around this.....a trusted friend perhaps who comes over and "cleans house"?


I have heard of people who have made that kind of after-death arrangement in order to spare their family any additional trauma.

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Journals and more... - 1/12/2005 11:40:39 AM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		Midear Erin-

I have had, for years, an agreement with my sister. She is not kinky (far as I know), but has long been aware of my proviclities, has a good idea of just how depraved I am, and most importantly, is someone that is 'OK' to the rest of my family.

In the event of my death, she knows how to access my space, where to look for the questionable accutruments and who gets it after she has boxed it up and removed it.

She will also boot up my machine, send an mass email BCC to my entire addresss book on all three of my 'real' accounts, then wipe and reformat the drives on my machines.

Paranoid?
In 1991 my friend and mentor died in San Franscisco. His family flew in from the mid-west, and where the first to enter his apartment after his body was removed. They were faced, not only with confronting the fact that he was gay (which I believe they had some inkling of), But to deal with the evidence of a quarter century in the scene. Not good for them- not good for his memory.

My sister is also executrix of my will, and currently out of the country, so I have two friends that are likely to have early word of my death who are back up cleaners.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Journals and more... - 1/13/2005 5:20:09 PM   
SubBunny


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/1/2004
Status: offline 		i do post a daily journal entry and most of the time my life is a happy one, but sometime i find it irritates me when my Master says he is going to do something and then doesn't follow through with it.. the only occurance that has ever happened that i have found myself in a "fury" is when he says he will contact me or call me that next day and then doesn't and then not even a text message,
it gets my blood boiling and hurts me very much! does anyone feel what i am feeling too here?
other than that we have no issues.. its perfect between me an my Master, i am a "beta" sub and my Master has a "alpha" sub also, and we just recently met and it was great, a dinner at Masters home and everything went well.
i journal daily, but for this Reason, i dont always like to post what i am feeing especially if its a bad thing or i am upset with him......all for the fact that this sub journals on the same site as i do
and she reads my journals........but i do not read her anymore and havent for 6 wks..
i dont find it necessary to read her entries..
which are not always happy ones.....
but i dont know how i really feel journaling and to talk bout how i upset it get with Master when he doesnt call when he says he will.
maybe i need to get over that ..?? LOL............... :)
i dont really like the idea of the other sub reading all my feelings and happenings, which may cuase some conflict of my seeing so much of him as i do and she doesnt see that much of him!
other than that, I love to journal and post what i am feeling about my Master and how he makes me and just in general my everyday feelings!
Journaling can be a very good thing..
hope this helps and might give others some insight!!

Have a Sweet "Submissive" Day.....................
bunny!!

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Journals and more... - 1/13/2005 6:03:44 PM   
SwitchNCgal


Posts: 79
Joined: 11/16/2004
Status: offline 		i don't journal and havn't thought about dealing with 'toys" because I don't have any really , now i will talk to others i can trust if i can find one to do a little light house cleaning after my death which for me could be soon as my lifestyle and the changes i'll be doing soon could easily kill me.

and then there is the second journal that I will keep when the time comes either as a top or a bottom to keep track of the samethings as if the Dominat doesn't keep track of their rules how can the submissive be expected to?

_____________________________

A switch gal that needs a little special help now and then and is stuck in the southeast.

(in reply to SubBunny)
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RE: Journals and more... - 1/13/2005 7:40:25 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchNCgal
if i can find one to do a little light house cleaning after my death which for me could be soon as my lifestyle and the changes i'll be doing soon could easily kill me.


SwitchNCgal, you are young and as long as you don't have serious health problems like liver disease or problems with blood clots you should be able to get through the changes you plan alive.

As far as your lifestyle goes.... I am not sure what you mean, but lifestyles are voluntary. Have you considered choosing less hazardous activities?

(in reply to SwitchNCgal)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Journals and more... - 1/14/2005 12:06:32 AM   
SwitchNCgal


Posts: 79
Joined: 11/16/2004
Status: offline 		I'm talking about the drug cocktail it can cause blood hemoaging if not handled properly I have a friend that was in health care and she watched 3 epople die from the coctail when it was mixed with an acciedent and the hospital was unaware of the cocktail the standard procesudures killed them that is what I mean.

Plus TGs are often the target of violence, that is not me being pragmatic it is being realistic. I would rather "prepare for the the worst and hope for the best" as my father once said to me. Does this mean I think I'm going to die? No it just means I'm going to be very careful and realistic about what society, the surgeries, and drug cocktail can do to me if I don't do my homework and do everything to make sure those that NEED to know. I'm considering getting a Medical Alert bracelet made that has a complete list of the drugs I'm taking and my Endo's contact info incase I ever get into a situation where I can't tell anyone.

This comic done by a girl I consider a insightful and aquitance can explain it better I think. the whole thing can be found at WWW.venusenvy.keenspace.com





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_____________________________

A switch gal that needs a little special help now and then and is stuck in the southeast.

(in reply to onceburned)
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RE: Journals and more... - 1/14/2005 12:27:45 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		What's in this "cocktail" you keep referring to?

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to SwitchNCgal)
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