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longwayhome -> RE: Demisexual (12/21/2015 3:52:45 AM)
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Don't know about whether more women than men are "demisexual", because, as usual women and men describe themselves differently. The concept seems fairly useful, although as with most things it probably sucks as a label.
Just as with the OP, I suspect that I am quite strongly demisexual, in that my partners have without exception been people who I was not conscious of being physically attracted to when I first met them. That however changed enormously in the course of getting to know them, and our relationships developed to become very strongly sexual.
I do however think that people I don't know are good-looking, but there is never any genuine attraction without getting to know them. As a consequence I have never done anything particularly sexual with someone I don't know or don't see as a friend. Not sure how that tallies with all the "spreading your seed" stuff, maybe I'm just making sure my seed is safe (bloody safe as it happens in terms of reproduction).
In the case of celebrities, I am physically/sexually attracted to people in the public eye sometimes, but it tends to be because I am impressed by them for some reason, not how they look. For that reason models tend to do nothing for me because they just seem like disembodied images.
Before this all gets too high minded, I should note that sexualised images do turn me on if I can create context, but random explicit pictures do not. I guess that probably describes most people. The point is I can't claim only to be attracted to people I connect with cerebrally.
This has always caused problems for some people because I never have been particularly interested in "dating", only in developing friendships, which of course have no guarantee of even the consideration of any kind of relationship. I love going out and meeting people but the word "date" leaves me cold. I therefore end up "not looking", whether I am single or not because for many, taking time to develop a friendship, with no conditions, is the very definition of time wasting. For me though, getting to know someone is never a waste of time.
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