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kingbasham -> differences (12/20/2015 9:01:21 AM)
What is the difference between a dom and a master? I don't know why I didn't ask that before.

OsideGirl -> RE: differences (12/20/2015 2:18:47 PM)
Everyone will have a different view based on commitment, skill set, etc.

JVoV -> RE: differences (12/20/2015 3:42:53 PM)
I think it simpler than that. A dominant is in charge in the bedroom. A Master is in charge all the time, whether with a submissive or a slave.

littleladybug -> RE: differences (12/20/2015 6:03:45 PM)
The difference, as I have seen it, is purely one of self-identification (i.e. there is no objective standard for it).

DarkSteven -> RE: differences (12/20/2015 7:13:01 PM)
@JVoV - Actually, you defined the difference between a Dom and a Top. My definition: a Dom is someone who desires control in personal relationships. A Master is a Dom who commands respect due to their actions and integrity.

Greta75 -> RE: differences (12/20/2015 7:20:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV I think it simpler than that. A dominant is in charge in the bedroom. A Master is in charge all the time, whether with a submissive or a slave. I'm with this definition.

JVoV -> RE: differences (12/20/2015 7:56:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven @JVoV - Actually, you defined the difference between a Dom and a Top. My definition: a Dom is someone who desires control in personal relationships. A Master is a Dom who commands respect due to their actions and integrity. My definition for a top comes from being gay, where you're either the fucker (top) or the fuckee (bottom). Versatile means you enjoy both. Personality strengths can differ. Who's to say I can't command respect with my perky nipples? What, I gotta save a bus full of nuns from falling off a cliff? Or change the weight on my profile every time it bounces? Guys can be naturally Alpha, taking and being given the leadership role in any given situation, whether earned or not. That's me. Alpha. Dominant in the bedroom. But until I once again have someone to call mine, I'll make no claims of being a Master.

OsideGirl -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 8:41:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven My definition: a Dom is someone who desires control in personal relationships. A Master is a Dom who commands respect due to their actions and integrity. I agree with this, but I'll go one step further. You're not a Master until the S type in your relationship says you are.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 8:41:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kingbasham What is the difference between a dom and a master? I don't know why I didn't ask that before. I can pick up my guitar and pluck away at the strings dominating myself and settings aside all the time necessary to learn to play it. Once I play like Esteban I have mastered it.

Bunnicula -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 9:12:07 AM)
Master is the guy I submit to. Every other dominant guy is a dom. YMMV

Cell -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 11:01:14 AM)
Hmm, I'll have a go... I would say... basically, it all falls under the umbrella of D/s, dominance and submission. I've seen a tendency of people to regard a master and slave relationship as a higher 'level(?)' of D/s and a top and bottom relationship to be a lower level of D/s. But really, I think they're just different, all are basically types of D/s relationships but wanting different things out of it. But then to throw a spanner in the works I've noticed many people will just refer to themselves as whatever, regardless of whether the terms are even accurate. One man's 'master', is another's 'dom', is another's 'top', is another's 'slave'. I find a lot gets thrown out with perspective, if that makes any sense. If I was to say that I was a dominant, what I would mean by that is that I like leading in relationships, I like having a sense of control, I like to overpower, to tease and sometimes to frustrate my partner. I haaattteeee having any of those things done to me, with the possible exception of the last two (but only in small doses). Conversely, I would call a submissive someone who likes to be led in relationships, who likes having a sense of being controlled. Who likes to be overpowered, teased and frustrated sometimes. But those definitions aren't universal and a dominant and submissive could be many other things besides. Same with Master ^_^

DesFIP -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 11:30:58 AM)
Dominant has limited authority. Meaning it could be just in the bedroom or it could be everything you do while together or it could include your free time and clothing choices. Master has total authority with almost no limits. What happens at work isn't up to him but to the boss. Her offspring by someone else cannot agree to submit to you nor can you supersede the father's rights so that's also out of your sphere. But you can't be master in a vacuum. Until someone agrees to give you that far reaching authority, you don't have it.

JVoV -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 11:35:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant quote: ORIGINAL: kingbasham What is the difference between a dom and a master? I don't know why I didn't ask that before. I can pick up my guitar and pluck away at the strings dominating myself and settings aside all the time necessary to learn to play it. Once I play like Esteban I have mastered it. That's why I go for smaller guys. Don't wanna throw my back out. Again.

WickedsDesire -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 2:05:19 PM)
There is no difference. Only bad stereotypes. I avoid using the term, personally I have never liked either. Signed muffinlord or was it lordmuffin..i actually got banned thence on that other place when I changed my username and profile to the mirror image name ..despite me mailing a caretaker firstly and the reasons..and then king of all the caretakers banned me for being a sock…I was irked from that bad stereotypes and all his kind it defends and his lack of ability to give an iota of credible reason…nor to thrash it out publicly on the site. Therefore my answer is there are only bad stereotypes, and everyone else…the latter are few in numbers - these i admire. There probably is a difference but due to the latter is not worth my valuble energy going into it. In essence if a bad stereotypes use either then they are completely worthless and used to ensnare the rubes, newbies, vulnerable etc

JVoV -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 2:16:17 PM)
That's a lot of words, but I have no idea what you said.

LadyPact -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 2:25:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV My definition for a top comes from being gay, where you're either the fucker (top) or the fuckee (bottom). Versatile means you enjoy both. Where do you think we stole it from? Top generally means 'do-er'. Bottom generally means 'do-ee'. We just expanded it a bit to include all of the BDSM-type activities. [;)] OP, there are a few folks who have different definitions between Master and Dom. A Dom can be anyone who wants any certain level of control, even just in the bedroom, of another. It can expand to include various aspects of life. It can be one who considers themselves a Dominant personality or someone who has a submissive in their lives. Master, on the other hand, is generally something that comes from a source other than the self: Recognition of a certain skill, such as a shibari, whips, fire, or any other thing where a person is considered an expert in the field. A person who owns or has owned a slave in an M/s sense. A person of Gorean background, where all men who own property (Free Men) are Masters according to their customs. A person who has received 'old leather' by those who are their elders in the leather community. Usually, the item is cap, vest, or boots.

Therealslavelife -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 3:40:27 PM)
When I started back in the day, I even hesitated to call myself Dom. Then I think my third girl, who had 10 years on me, said to me " have you considered that you might be much more than a Dom? She stated you appear to me to be a Master. No definition will suite everyone here, but having been Dom, Daddy, and Master here is my thought. A Dom does not OEM. Dom's have subs. Masters " Own". A Master must take responsibility for every aspect of another persons life. A Dom only has the obligation to ensure obedience to requests he has made. There is much more commitment in being Master, time effort. Now there are many Dom's who bleed over toward the grey area depending on the girl., Dom's negotiate limits. Masters do not. He may be verbally told by her, ( I cannot function out of a heterosexual realm, forgive me) she does not want that. Dom's honor that request. Masters, like someone as referenced before learn her so well he can play her instrument so well, becomes not only acceptable but something she desires. Like teaching a girl to love the feel of a cock in her mouth. My two cents.

Cell -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 3:52:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Master, on the other hand, is generally something that comes from a source other than the self: That's an interestng way of putting it. I wonder how far that definition could stretch. It seems pretty nice at first glance. Although perhaps not a good definition for Gorean. And I wonder, what do you think about 'self-mastery' in the grand scheme of M/s?

LadyPact -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 4:18:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cell That's an interestng way of putting it. I wonder how far that definition could stretch. It seems pretty nice at first glance. Although perhaps not a good definition for Gorean. And I wonder, what do you think about 'self-mastery' in the grand scheme of M/s? Most people are not "self-Mastered," anymore than slaves who are free speak of their servitude. Is it not your way that any person who would wish to be free, without an owner, is free, themselves? Without an Owner, are they not Free Women? So, a Gorean could claim the title of "Master" by only of the benefit of a flesh and blood penis. All a person need be to be a "master," is to claim himself Gorean. It is not required among you to have even the slightest understanding of your philosophies. Not even so much as to bother to do any research.

JVoV -> RE: differences (12/21/2015 4:30:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV My definition for a top comes from being gay, where you're either the fucker (top) or the fuckee (bottom). Versatile means you enjoy both. Where do you think we stole it from? Top generally means 'do-er'. Bottom generally means 'do-ee'. We just expanded it a bit to include all of the BDSM-type activities. [;)] OP, there are a few folks who have different definitions between Master and Dom. A Dom can be anyone who wants any certain level of control, even just in the bedroom, of another. It can expand to include various aspects of life. It can be one who considers themselves a Dominant personality or someone who has a submissive in their lives. Master, on the other hand, is generally something that comes from a source other than the self: Recognition of a certain skill, such as a shibari, whips, fire, or any other thing where a person is considered an expert in the field. A person who owns or has owned a slave in an M/s sense. A person of Gorean background, where all men who own property (Free Men) are Masters according to their customs. A person who has received 'old leather' by those who are their elders in the leather community. Usually, the item is cap, vest, or boots. I see top & bottom, in this culturally misappropriated definition, as disconnected to dominants and Masters. Actions are not mindsets. A submissive female may be excellent with using a flogger, and better with two, yet derive no pleasure in using them on someone. A dominant can perform oral sex on their sub, simply because that's what they enjoy doing, without becoming a 'bottom' in any sense.

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