dreamlady
Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: masmiss
Your profile states that you are 30. I'm guessing that you're looking for a Domme in her 20s. Many many profiles of young dominant women are fake. They're looking to make a quick buck and probably are men.
As for me, a dominant woman, I have zero interest in cuckolding.
OP [Opening Poster], you are asking multiple questions, and your main one about whether Dominant women exist can be answered resoundingly in the affirmative throughout the annals of history. It's a no-brainer. Whether such women have been sexually kinky is altogether another issue, and whether a vanilla Dominant seeks primarily an intimate D/s relationship. A woman doesn't have to be kinky to want an FLR-Female Led Relationship. Further, FLR lifestyle Dommes usually want just one mate as their life partner within a WLM-Wife Led Marriage.
The caveat with this, is that as an aspiring future partner, you have to demonstrate that you can be the whole enchilada to such a woman (and to most vanilla women in general).
You should take into consideration that the majority of male submissives cannot and are not able to offer the whole package deal (nor are all vanilla men in general ready to make this kind of commitment). Not to seem cynical, but they either want a part-time Mistress to own them (at little to no cost to themselves) within a limited window of D/s involvement or BDSM Top/bottom play, and/or have such a limited repertoire that IT WOULD TAKE 2-3 MALE SUBS AT A MINIMUM TO EQUAL ONE FULL-FLEDGED INTIMATE PARTNERSHIP that would meet the entirety of a Dominant woman's needs, wants, and desires, both as a woman AND as a Dominant personality.
Your real question is whether there ARE Dominant women who are NOT into cuckolding, and I along with masmiss aren't. There are probably more who aren't than there are those who are, and I agree with LadyPact's observation that cuckolding is a small subset of polysexuality.
Your chances of finding one will be much higher with women who are in older age brackets. The same with mono vs. poly.
Now, you have a brand new bare-bones profile. You have listed some of your vanilla interests in your Interests listing (nothing wrong with that). Under Hard Limits deal breakers, list Cuckolding. You don't want a Cuckoldress, and she won't want you.
Briefly then based upon your op [opening post], let me point out the following:
- Stop second-guessing a woman's Dominance. If she is in control and in charge of you, then she is your Dominant lady, by mutual consent.
- You are not every Dominant woman's submissive; you are her sub and she is your Mistress. She shouldn't have to be questioning your levels of submission either once she takes ownership of you.
- Being up front about what lines you don't want to cross is not the same thing as presenting a list of demands. Stick to your guns.
- As for cuckolding, there are many forms of it and many different messages imparted. Sometimes, a Cuckoldress just dates other men, and may or may not have sexual relations with them.
- Simply having multiple subs does not make a Domme a Cuckoldress or for a cuckolding dynamic. It may make her polysexual or polyamorous (not the same thing -- you can have sex without love, love & affection without sex, just like with BDSM without D/s, or D/s without BDSM), or it may not.
- A Cuckoldress may prefer to use a maleDom or have a bullslave; a Dominant having sexual relations with another Dominant doesn't make either of them submissive to one another.
- A Domme who has a vanilla boyfriend along with male subs is not a Cuckoldress. It is the primary partner who gets cuckolded, not subs on the side; consequently, a male sub (or whomever she's partnered with) would have to be her primary partner, or else it's merely a poly arrangement.
- If you expect to have a romantically monogamous relationship with ANY woman, you have to be ready and willing to offer her whatever fulfills her needs both romantically and sexually.*
DreamLady
* Edited to add: Cuckolding and exclusivity aside, if you want the whole ball of wax, then you need to be prepared to provide the whole ball of wax.
< Message edited by dreamlady -- 12/21/2015 1:12:16 AM >
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Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti
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