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How to serve while you have depression? - 12/24/2015 1:51:29 PM

gigglylittleone

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Joined: 12/24/2015
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For the past 6 months, my depression has gotten worse and worse, to the point that I don't enjoy doing the things that made me happy anymore. Doing simple tasks for someone such as unloading/loading the dishwasher are something I don't want to do. I'm not who I used to be, it's almost as if I don't want to serve anyone anymore when I really do. I feel rather vanilla, and I know it's because of my depression that I'm lacking in doing the best I can in serving.

I have been with the most patient Master over the past 6 months, because he has put up with my disobedience, and my depression, and I'm just wanting to get out of this funk, so that I can serve him properly.

Is there anyone else who has struggled with depression and serving, and has any tips?

(edited to add words)

< Message edited by gigglylittleone -- 12/24/2015 1:52:57 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/24/2015 2:24:24 PM

ReMakeYou

Posts: 147
Joined: 1/20/2012
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First, vanilla != depressed. There are lots of things that vanillas get excited about in their lives. Not having any emotions is something entirely different.

Second, you can't just force your way out of depression by just thinking happy thoughts. While you can force yourself to do service things, you'll just be forcing yourself and you'll keep feeling the way you do. If the problem has been going on this long, it might be worth looking into professional help.

(in reply to gigglylittleone)

Post #: 2

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/24/2015 2:41:25 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: gigglylittleone

For the past 6 months, my depression has gotten worse and worse, to the point that I don't enjoy doing the things that made me happy anymore. Doing simple tasks for someone such as unloading/loading the dishwasher are something I don't want to do. I'm not who I used to be, it's almost as if I don't want to serve anyone anymore when I really do. I feel rather vanilla, and I know it's because of my depression that I'm lacking in doing the best I can in serving.

I have been with the most patient Master over the past 6 months, because he has put up with my disobedience, and my depression, and I'm just wanting to get out of this funk, so that I can serve him properly.

Is there anyone else who has struggled with depression and serving, and has any tips?

(edited to add words)

You need to see a medical professional and have a complete check up, there could be something physically wrong with you that causes the depression (hormones, endocrines, etc. lack of vitamins) or you could have a chemical imbalance, check out all the medical reasons first, there are no short cuts and depression is not something anybody can just "snap out of"

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to gigglylittleone)

Post #: 3

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/24/2015 3:09:35 PM

angelikaJ

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Joined: 6/22/2007
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Being depressed does not make you weak.

Get treated for your depression.
And find a therapist.
Treatment plus therapy is better than either on their own.

And there are plenty of free resources via here:
http://www.flylady.net/
http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/31-beginner-babysteps/

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to gigglylittleone)

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RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/24/2015 3:51:54 PM

JanahX

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You need to be prescribed anti-depressants asap. Make an appt. with a psychiatrist and get this taken care of. You don't have to feel like this, they have all sorts of meds now to straighten that shit out.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 5

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/24/2015 6:26:31 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Get your thyroid checked. Thyroid abnormalities often present as mood disorders.
If not, start medication for depression. It could take up to six months to get the dosage right but you might start feeling better within three days.

Then talk therapy to learn coping skills for the future. You can't learn them when you're severely depressed.

You should be taking Vitamin D III as well as a moderate exercise program. Both proven to help. At this time of year a light box could be helpful as well.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 6

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/24/2015 7:19:35 PM

OsideGirl

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From: United States
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I'm with everyone else. Seek professional help.

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/25/2015 3:55:10 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

You need to be prescribed anti-depressants asap. Make an appt. with a psychiatrist and get this taken care of. You don't have to feel like this, they have all sorts of meds now to straighten that shit out.

Actually there are a number of reasons that can cause depression, lack of D and B12 can do it, thyroid is a massive one and depression goes hand in hand with it, Shifty and Phil once helped to address the issue by writing on my blog and both know quite a bit about it from personal experience. The problem is that if it's due to a lack of something (thyroid, vitamins, etc) and you take antidepressants, you aren't addressing the issue, it's like taking pain killers if you have a tooth ache instead of getting a filling.

http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/phil-beck-depression-and-bdsm.html

http://exdomme.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/bdsm-and-ptsd-female-view.html

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 8

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/25/2015 9:54:36 AM

JanahX

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The issue is, that you can mess around with if, buts or whatever. As far as we know - she could be having bouts of bi-polar depression which is a whole nuther ball game & is extremely dangerous as the suicide rate is high, because the low is VERY low and can last for months at a time.

She needs to see a psychiatrist just to eliminate that prospect out.

_____________________________

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 9

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/25/2015 10:10:36 AM

LadyConstanze

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Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX

The issue is, that you can mess around with if, buts or whatever. As far as we know - she could be having bouts of bi-polar depression which is a whole nuther ball game & is extremely dangerous as the suicide rate is high, because the low is VERY low and can last for months at a time.

She needs to see a psychiatrist just to eliminate that prospect out.

She needs a general health check first to eliminate all other problems. if you give anti-depressants and that isn't the real cause, what it does is give you the little boost it takes to top yourself, we currently have a massive scandal in the UK where they neglected B12 deficiencies and put people on anti-depressants, causing a lot of trouble, addiction and suicides, stuff that could have been ruled out with a simple blood test. A ton of people with thyroid disorders had asshole docs who gave them antidepressants and made them worse. It seems that antidepressants and mood elevators are the current flavour of the month, nothing wrong if you really need them but do not give them until you ruled out the rest or you are opening another can of worms.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to JanahX)

Post #: 10

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/26/2015 4:15:50 PM

KillYourTV

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Joined: 8/21/2013
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How to serve while you have depression? Don't worry about pleasing someone else for awhile. It sounds like you need to figure some things out. Your Master should help you through this or he's no Master.

-Edit Apostrophe

< Message edited by KillYourTV -- 12/26/2015 4:17:54 PM >

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 11

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/27/2015 8:27:14 AM

UKsubgirl

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

I also have depression and have done for over 12 years. I had a very long bad spell initially but with good professional support got the medication and therapy I needed to get well again. Since then I have had three or four further episodes and each time I went back to seek professional medical help. For me, anti-depressants are the key, but that may not be true for everybody. As others here have said, depression can be caused by different things so you really do need specialist advice to find out what help you need.

It's not a sign of weakness to get help or to have depression. It's an illness and needs medical treatment. If you got any other kind of illness you would see a doctor and the same is true for mental illness. With treatment you could be back to your old self within a few short weeks. Without treatment, nothing may change for a very long time. Be good to yourself please - go to see your doctor straight away.

Regarding submission, when I have had a bad spell with my depression in the past whilst serving a Master, I have explained that I will be much more likely to cry than usual - with or without good reason, that my energy my concentration, focus and energy levels are low and that there are some things which I could normally do which are just no longer possible.

It sounds like you are lucky enough to have an understanding Master which is great. I would suggest that you and he together read up on depression to understand how it is affecting you, so you can both see that your lack of energy and motivation are not your fault and hopefully he will support you to get treatment too, so he can regain his previous obedient little sub.

I hope that is some help - I'm happy to discuss further if you want to. I'm not a medical professional, but I've been there, understand what if feels like and am happy to just chat and share, if that will be of any help to you. Good luck x

(in reply to KillYourTV)

Post #: 12

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/29/2015 4:01:02 PM

Renoir

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Joined: 4/3/2008
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Whoops, sorry, wrong forum

< Message edited by Renoir -- 12/29/2015 4:02:46 PM >

(in reply to UKsubgirl)

Post #: 13

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/29/2015 4:12:54 PM

Baldrick459

Posts: 2
Joined: 12/25/2015
Status: offline

I have been going through bouts of depression for years, have even been hospitalized for it. Seek medical help. I have been seeing my psychiatrist now for 19 years off and on, and he is a great help.

My problem now, is I am on meds that cause mood swings, which is terrible..

Good Luck

(in reply to Renoir)

Post #: 14

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 12/30/2015 8:27:40 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Janah: It isn't just bipolars who suicide, unipolars do too.

OP: the problem with asking for advice is that right now you're too depressed to follow any of it. So although exercise would probably help, if you can't even empty the dishwasher then you sure can't find the energy to run for two miles.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Baldrick459)

Post #: 15

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 1/5/2016 2:33:00 PM

blinkingblythe

Posts: 28
Joined: 1/4/2016
From: New York City
Status: offline

One thing I would do is just let go and give myself fully to my dom and try think about serving him/her and not what is depressing me (note: this works for me, but it might not work for you. YMMV)
I would also be open to my master about how I am feeling and just have a nice long cry/hug session together. If my dom was experiencing severe depression, I would stay with him/her and let him/her cry and vent everything with me and I would hug him/her and shower him/her with kisses.

But as suggested, go see a doctor in any case as this could
be a symptom of a physical ailment.

If the depression presists after all is said and done, I would see a mental health professional ASAP. Clinical depression is no joke.

< Message edited by blinkingblythe -- 1/5/2016 2:44:58 PM >

(in reply to gigglylittleone)

Post #: 16

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 1/5/2016 2:49:31 PM

blinkingblythe

Posts: 28
Joined: 1/4/2016
From: New York City
Status: offline

In my opinion, a good dom would not only be sympathetic and undrrstanding of your depression and other mental health
issues, but would make sure you see a doctor even if it
ment dragging you to the clinic or hospital by your ears if you refuse to go. Same with physical health.

(in reply to KillYourTV)

Post #: 17

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 1/7/2016 6:25:55 AM

Cinnamongirl67

Posts: 854
Status: offline

I did 4 things that made a world of difference.
I forced myself out of bed and began to exercise. (Especially a brief walk in the sun)
I started an antidepressant (it takes 2 to 3 weeks to get in your system) the first two didn't work, but the third one did. Since then it had to be increased a bit to keep the same stable results.
I ate clean. No additives, no fried foods, no sugar.
I take a multi vitamin regularly.

I feel like a new person but at first it was very forced now it's easy.

And maybe you need served with tender loving care for awhile. Certainly helps do the trick for me.
Much success to your return to good health , both mental and physical.

(in reply to blinkingblythe)

Post #: 18

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 1/7/2016 6:58:34 AM

WickedsDesire

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline

There is no proof anti depressants work, none at all or that they alter brain chemistry....It’s about cash :)
Or if you like 54% on happy pills say they feel better and 46% on smarties (placboes) say they feel better. But it’s a billion dollar industry and these companies work on the basis give me your fking money as we like cash..something like that.

Depression you need to elaborate more.
I am depressed I have ¼ of red velvet cake left in my fridge
Depression comes in many formats
Dishes I hate for they are evil.

We currently have a massive scandal in the UK where they neglected B12 deficiencies and put people on anti-depressants there is no such scandal ladyc – but comprehensive blood testing is a must.

Before I was diagnosed with CFS M.E., or dreaded lurgy as I like to call it, and utter raving madness they said depression – the tablets just made me iller..and one set gave me disturbed thoughts...now if you went to doctor and explained that they tell you to fuk off its all in your head, and that is shameful, truly.

Rainbow (my preferred chosen word) or spectrum that is the human race.

So muffin madness is rife
and so is depression

My questions would be:
1. Your depression please explain
2. Which tasks
3. disobedience is another matter and corrected with harsh brutal thrashings, tinfoil hat and reconditioning

important slippernote if tablets work you take em

(in reply to Cinnamongirl67)

Post #: 19

RE: How to serve while you have depression? - 1/8/2016 3:07:28 AM

NotImTempting

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/8/2016
Status: offline

I think you need professional help. You should not be serving. There are times in your life where you need to be vanilla and this is one of them.

does your Dom know?

(in reply to WickedsDesire)

Post #: 20

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