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RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/27/2015 6:08:55 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DungeonDaddy67

This woman that Goes to my church, has decided that she wants to be around me, be my friend, etc.

Everyone else sees that she is obviously interested in me. but as my old granny used to say

"I wouldn't have you off the Christmas Tree" (Not interested, don't want to have you)

This woman is UGLY, she has more wrinkles on her than a road map has lines, her Hair is stringy, flat and lifeless. she is flat chested. She wears no make up and she has 2 teen age children. She supports Causes that I am totally opposed too.

I try to keep my vanilla and my bdsm separated. I would never be happy with this woman, I find her physically repugnant and will not date a vanilla woman.

How can I tell her GO AWAY with out getting nasty, this woman does attend my church. I don't want to offend her and make her leave, since its a small struggling church that needs all the members it can get!

Apart from the obvious Christian values you show (it's the season of love, isn't it...) what is offensive about somebody offering you friendship? Maybe she just feels sorry for you?

Unless she makes a move, she's being friendly, it might surprise you, but not everybody is a horrible, miserable person and only picks people as friends they deem attractive.

Since it's a small community, as you stated, and you don't mix BDSM and vanilla or would ever date vanilla, wouldn't the best way to claim you are having some long distance relationship with a woman you met online, it's a polite way of giving her a hint, and it will also help you to not get totally embarrassed if you tell her that you don't want to date her and she starts laughing loudly and goes "What the hell ever gave you this idea? Are you drunk?"

_____________________________

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Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to DungeonDaddy67)

Post #: 21

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/27/2015 11:27:12 AM

Wayward5oul

Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DungeonDaddy67

This woman that Goes to my church, has decided that she wants to be around me, be my friend, etc.

This woman is UGLY, she has more wrinkles on her than a road map has lines, her Hair is stringy, flat and lifeless. she is flat chested. She wears no make up and she has 2 teen age children.

I try to keep my vanilla and my bdsm separated. I would never be happy with this woman, I find her physically repugnant and will not date a vanilla woman.

Go back and read your profile. You see what you have written ridiculing bbw's treatment of men who are not slender? Think about it.

quote:

How can I tell her GO AWAY with out getting nasty, this woman does attend my church. I don't want to offend her and make her leave, since its a small struggling church that needs all the members it can get!

You are 48 years old and you don't know how to tactfully let a woman know that you are not interested?

Major eye-roll at the idea that your rejection of this woman could actually upset the dynamics of the entire church and actually lead to its demise.

(in reply to DungeonDaddy67)

Post #: 22

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/27/2015 11:27:56 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Sit on the other side of the church. When services end, go talk to someone else, then say loud enough to be overheard "Look at the time! I have to run" and immediately leave. Park your car on the other side of the lot from hers.

However, judging by the op's looks and his lack of social skills. I bet she's decided it's her Christian duty to be nice to the op because it's obvious no one else would do it willingly.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 12/27/2015 11:45:40 AM >

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(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 23

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/27/2015 11:32:27 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DungeonDaddy67
She wears no make up

This is a bad point? Seriously? Why don't you wear make up too?

So if a woman likes you that you are not interested in, just don't show interest in return, you gotta be like totally cold towards her.
Also, do not assume she's interested in you, UNTIL she directly tells you so. And if she does, then just tell her you're currently not interested in a relationship with anybody.

If you do hook up with someone else at a later date, then, just say, because you fell inlove. Whatever.

Just be kind.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 12/27/2015 11:33:19 AM >

(in reply to DungeonDaddy67)

Post #: 24

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/27/2015 11:56:12 AM

MsBane

Posts: 6
Joined: 8/5/2015
Status: offline

person above me is right about going cold. not rude, just not friendly. answer questions with one word answers, look away or at your phone when they're talking, walk off mid sentence to get a drink or a tissue to blow your nose if they start talking to you. if all else fails, pick your nose and eat it right in front of her, just casually, like its a childhood habit you have yet to outgrow. just do whatever other women do when you try to talk to them.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 25

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/27/2015 5:05:11 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsBane

person above me is right about going cold. not rude, just not friendly. answer questions with one word answers, look away or at your phone when they're talking, walk off mid sentence to get a drink or a tissue to blow your nose if they start talking to you. if all else fails, pick your nose and eat it right in front of her, just casually, like its a childhood habit you have yet to outgrow. just do whatever other women do when you try to talk to them.

Priceless :)

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Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to MsBane)

Post #: 26

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/27/2015 7:47:14 PM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Maybe she just feels sorry for you?

I wondered that too.

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No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 27

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/27/2015 10:32:50 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

What's the problem? She likes you. She wants a relationship, and a friendship.

None of your objections stand in the way of a friendship. If she has different views from you, good. Both of you can discuss them respectfully, and you might learn something. I find that I learn most from those whose backgrounds and ideas differ from mine.

Nothing obligates you to let it get sexual. So accept the friendship and keep looking for a woman you'd be compatible with.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to clevergirl9)

Post #: 28

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/27/2015 10:37:09 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

Some guys here are like really nice guys, but I do believe that it is in that woman's best interest to be colder towards her IF there is solid evidence she wants a relationship with you. Just because, continually to treat her as a friend and being super nice to her, will kinda lead her on and give her hope to keep trying for nothing. It's in her best interest to feel swift temporarily hurt of rejection so that she can move on faster.

I don't know, just my personal opinion.

I have the same thing with men, if I am not interested at all, I turn stone cold. Ignore text messages, do not respond, do not talk to him anymore. Just believe I want to send a clear message that I am not interested, stop trying. And I always believe that, if they move on, they will find someone else who will welcome their attention and able to return those feelings.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 12/27/2015 10:40:03 PM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 29

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/27/2015 11:18:19 PM

PandoraFoxxx

Posts: 182
Joined: 1/3/2011
From: San Mateo, CA
Status: offline

Dude, Steven, I love you but...tossing her the friend-zone bone is not going to fix things.

I'm gonna agree with most of the women on this thread. There is this thing called "coldly cordial."
Do not speak unless spoken to
Answer questions with very short closed-ended answers
Avoid conversations
Do not make eye contact, master the "art of the glance"
If it really bothers you that much, go to a different church. Seriously, there's like 20 bajillion of them.

Alternative #1:
Tell her to her face everything you wrote here, verbatim. She, nor any female she ever comes into contact with, will ever be interested in you. No Vanillas: SOLVED!

Alternative #2:
Your attitude is repugnant and I bet if you did take her out, she'd run the other way.

< Message edited by PandoraFoxxx -- 12/27/2015 11:32:58 PM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 30

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/28/2015 12:04:30 AM

Bunnicula

Posts: 420
Joined: 4/7/2014
Status: offline

Tell her you don't want to date her.

Tell her you don't even want to be her friend.

Then tell her it's because she seems like a good woman and she can do a hell of a lot better.

Honesty is usually the best way to deal with a situation like this.

_____________________________

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"You're not a very nice bunny" - some_random_internet_asshole's_sock

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Previously known as 'myotherself' or simply 'da bunny'

(in reply to DungeonDaddy67)

Post #: 31

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chattelmansub

Posts: 194
Joined: 6/24/2015
Status: offline

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Post #: 32

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 12/31/2015 3:40:55 PM

AlaskanLabrador

Posts: 26
Joined: 12/23/2015
Status: offline

That suits me just fine dude because I do not want you either you motherfucker!

(in reply to clevergirl9)

Post #: 33

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 1/1/2016 8:03:30 AM

royalarchmason

Posts: 88
Joined: 12/30/2015
Status: offline

Oh dear you mean to tell us the O.P.is actually a Motherfucker? How perverse and disgusting and he goes to church and like the clergyman he is a Goddamn Hypocrite! He may also be Kevin Sock Puppet wearing a clever disguise? Such is the devious nature of our resident socks.

(in reply to AlaskanLabrador)

Post #: 34

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 3/6/2016 11:45:40 AM

thompsonx

Posts: 23322
Joined: 10/1/2006
Status: offline

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

When all else fails, you can always ask yourself, ,WWJD? It being church and all.

We know that jesus was boinking mary magdilyn so he would probably go for it...

< Message edited by thompsonx -- 3/6/2016 11:46:30 AM >

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 35

RE: GO AWAY, I don't want you - 3/6/2016 5:14:31 PM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

Just tell her you are not interested.

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(in reply to clevergirl9)

Post #: 36

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