Blackmail

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singleman79 -> Blackmail (12/26/2015 8:56:33 PM)
I am a sub that has told a Dom I never want to be a couple with her due to a cheating and lies. But the Dom does not want to let go and has been trying for years never giving up and finally has told me that she well blackmail me. We are not friends on facebook but she has looked up family and friends and can email them. Our first session when things are going good she took pictures of me tied up and now saying if I dont submit to her she well send them to co workers friends and family. I have found the love of my life in anther women and scared if my past gets out it well ruin my work and love life what is the best thing to do?

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 8:58:14 PM)
Call the cops and engage a lawyer..........One or the other should work.

singleman79 -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 9:07:16 PM)
What can the cops do? She is not trying to get money but she would be doing something much worse than taking my money I really am scared that it well ruin how people view me at work and the women who I know love well not want me anymore. Thank you for your reply.

OsideGirl -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 9:08:01 PM)
Give the information to the police.

OsideGirl -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 9:11:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: singleman79 What can the cops do? She is not trying to get money but she would be doing something much worse than taking my money I really am scared that it well ruin how people view me at work and the women who I know love well not want me anymore. Thank you for your reply. Blackmail is illegal, revenge porn is illegal. They can arrest her and have her charged with making criminal threats.

singleman79 -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 9:11:47 PM)
I know some subs want to be blackmailed but I am not one of them because my job is to important and the girl friend is still trying to understand this lifestyle. It is starting to feel like I have no choice but to use the advice given.

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 9:12:06 PM)
Blackmail is Blackmail and doesn't have to involve money. she is making threats against you.......surely THAT is illegal ? Try being up-front with your new woman. Honesty in a relationship is a solid base but I reiterate, go to the cops and lay it before them and make the next stop a lawyer and do the same there. There is little else you can do unless you want to cave in to her, unless you want to try something that is more than a little illegal ?

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 9:15:54 PM)
you asked for advice...........Two of us have given you similar advice. Do you want to wait around for advice that is more palatable maybe ? If so, you may wait a long time and the advice may turn out to be totally useless

singleman79 -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 9:24:24 PM)
I guess I need to change my screen name because yesterday the women I love finally agreed to be a couple with me. It is going to be very hard explaining my past and I have a Dom bringing up black mail. The hardest thing is she gave an amazing session but the lie was just to painful to handle and I moved on. Thank you very much for the advice. I hope I can avoid going to the cops and find a way to move on and make her understand it is time to let me go fully.

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 9:29:22 PM)
Good luck with that mate...........you really don't like looking reality in the face do you ? Why did you bother to ask for advice on here ? you knew what it would be and already had your ducks in a row so you could not take that advice. Do as we did in the Legion then..............Walk your own patrol.

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 9:33:53 PM)
I CAN give you some advice on where you will always find sympathy

singleman79 -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 9:35:56 PM)
You are right some how I gotta find the will power to go do it if I dont than I wont ever get to live happy. I wish someone I actually loved wanted me this bad.

Dvr22999874 -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 9:37:46 PM)
stop whingeing and man-up. your world will keep turning regardless

LadyPact -> RE: Blackmail (12/26/2015 10:17:50 PM)
Any kinky person threatening to call your boss is a scumbucket, period. If you don't know any better, that's not "loving" you. That is trying to have manipulative power over you. The kinky person who calls the vanilla workplace to start sh^t is not the person you want in your life. I get not wanting to go to the cops. I can't impress on you how well I know that. It's not the only way to take away the power from the person trying to harm you by contacting the people in your life. #1. Come clean with the new girlfriend. It's better than having it hang over your head. #2. Save any electronic communications or screen shots of the other person saying they are calling your job and/or family. #3. Specifically TELL the other person to leave you alone. It's called a cease and desist statement and may help you down the road if the authorities do have to be involved. After that, don't talk to the other person any more. Look it up on google because there are very specific suggestions about what should and should not be said. #4. If you or the other person are involved in your local kink community, let the organizers of the events you attend know this person is threatening to out you. (Plan on presenting any documentation you have to back up what you are saying.) Most people don't want folks who are contacting other people's jobs to have the opportunity to do it to somebody else and may be grounds for banning them from local events. #5 Save any contacts that the other person is making to other people in your life. If it gets to the point where you have to go to the authorities, they are going to want to see any records given to you by third parties. Any/all of the above will help you. Whether that means that it does get bad enough that you have to go to the authorities or just so this doesn't turn into some he said/she said deal. Keeping your records is going to help you if you find that you need them. You may not go for or get a criminal conviction, but a few electronic files will show folks just exactly what kind of low life you are dealing with.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Blackmail (12/27/2015 5:42:39 AM)
I was quite sympathetic reading it, then had a look at his profile, he's actively searching for dominant women and he wishes to one day marry one of them... If you found the love of your life, I would think your profile would reflect that, it's not something that one just "forgets" about, you say you're in love with somebody not into BDSM but the same time you need this life-style, so your story really doesn't add up and it would also explain why you don't want to go to the police. You joined the site barely a month ago, claiming you can't live without being dominated, seriously, things just don't add up... If you don't want to go to the police, just go to a lawyer, a letter from a lawyer might make her pause considerably... But most importantly, be honest to the "love of your life" and stop dicking her around by not telling her what's going on with you and that you are just waiting for a chance to submit to somebody behind her back...

singleman79 -> RE: Blackmail (12/27/2015 7:14:02 AM)
Your are all right in your own ways the right thing to do is stop looking on this site for someone because I really have fell in love. I well take the advice. And I am going to come clean on what is going on.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Blackmail (12/27/2015 7:32:57 AM)
Just ask yourself how you would feel if the roles would be reversed and you'd find out she is looking for a guy to submit to?

singleman79 -> RE: Blackmail (12/27/2015 7:58:46 AM)
Well I updated my profile saying I not looking anymore. I guess collar me has not updated it yet. It is not easy telling a person not in BDSM my past experiences in BDSM. But I am going to tell her because it is the right thing to do.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Blackmail (12/27/2015 8:19:30 AM)
Tell her vaguely, there really is no need to tell her about every dildo that ever penetrated you and such, you can be honest without grossing her out. Maybe if you do give her the option to exercise a bit of control over you, she might actually like it, it might not be kinky, it might just be stuff like drawing her a bath, massaging her feet, etc.

DesFIP -> RE: Blackmail (12/27/2015 10:44:27 AM)
If you know her name and address, then sue her. Turn her into the cops and she'll be too busy dealing with lawyers to want you any more. Hell a cease and desist letter from your lawyer threatening to sue her for damages, monies lost, as well as pain and suffering should get rid of her. Most people pay attention when their wallet is involved.

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