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What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 6:49:39 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Stealing this quote from Cynthia on the 'when you were a beginner' thread because it's inspiring this one. Here is her quote (and I hope she doesn't mind):

quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia
What would have been useful...would have been a real honest to God dungeon where there were newbie classes like I've read about in other states.

We've kind of done this thread before but it's been a while, so we'll do a new version. We have people living all over the globe that come to these forums. I thought it might be fun to exchange some thoughts about what the kink scene is like where we live. Even if you don't engage in the public kink scene, maybe you'd still be willing to share a bit about it with the rest of us. That's anything that covers where kinky people gather; munches, clubs, big events, private parties, and any other thing that you'd like to throw in there. You don't have to say where you live if you don't want to or feel free to handle that part the way you'd like.

No other way to put this. I. Am. Seriously. Spoiled.

Where MP and I live now, (don't go by the location on the profile) we're probably in one of the top ten cities for kink in the USA. If not, I want to know what ten cities beat this place out. As far as kink opportunities, I don't know what more folks could as for. (One thing, but I'll get to that.) We have munches all over, three public dungeons, plenty of private house parties, I don't know how many major events, and I'm probably forgetting a lot. Educational classes? Good heavens, yes! Anything BDSM related that a person would want to learn is taught around here. Special interest groups, TNG, rope, fire, age players, poly folks, that's over and above things where it's open play for everybody in general.

One small detraction. It's a big sports town so a lot of the munches are held in sports bars. Meaning, during football season, you can't hear a dang thing. (Well, I can't.) Still, there are plenty of low key events that are small groups where social time works really well.

What is your local area like where you live?

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Post #: 1

RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 8:52:01 AM

LadyConstanze

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According to what the biggest sex toy manufacturer published, our area seems to be super kinky as they sell far more handcuffs and BDSM gear per capita than anywhere else in the UK, you wouldn't know, there basically doesn't seem to be a "scene" here

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 9:16:54 AM

WickedsDesire

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Joined: 11/4/2015
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In my town just I. Well I doubt that but i have not seen the wanton wench in boots and bespoke corset roaming the streets in any numbers worth mentioning. One lives in hope.
i have better things to do with my time than quote numbers and perspectives, but her are some numbers
1:1000 people on these sites ever attend a munch or club once in a lifetime, i haven't for 10 years...in no way does it make that other 999 not kinky..but the majority cannot sneak away from their partners hehe

Scotland I no longer keep track population 5.3 million haggis:
Munches 1-2 a month 8-20 attending
Clubs no more than one a week 20-50 attending ive no real idea. But those seem like good figures. And ive not broken the demographics down

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 10:23:12 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire
In my town just I. Well I doubt that but i have not seen the wanton wench in boots and bespoke corset roaming the streets in any numbers worth mentioning. One lives in hope.
i have better things to do with my time than quote numbers and perspectives, but her are some numbers
1:1000 people on these sites ever attend a munch or club once in a lifetime, i haven't for 10 years...in no way does it make that other 999 not kinky..but the majority cannot sneak away from their partners hehe

Scotland I no longer keep track population 5.3 million haggis:
Munches 1-2 a month 8-20 attending
Clubs no more than one a week 20-50 attending ive no real idea. But those seem like good figures. And ive not broken the demographics down

You're not the only one from your country that we've had here who said the kink "community" thing just isn't huge there. It's come up from time to time. I honestly couldn't say that I know why. Maybe somebody could shed some light.

I would never take a stab at the 1:1000 people doing the public groups thing. Not that I have a better estimate. I just really wouldn't know how the numbers pan out.

Of course, if you are talking specifically about sites like this, there are so many factors. People who get tipsy and start cruising for interesting porn that stumble here. Make an account and never come back to it kind of thing. One person with multiple accounts throws it off. Some people (relationship couples) just do their thing at home because they are more private types. In the USA, even though there are now more munch groups than ever before, there are still places that just don't have them. Some never had one and others sometimes implode from various baloney. MP and I have lived a couple of places where the munch was two hours away and some other posters didn't have even one that close. Kind of why I stole that quote from Cynthia because when she and I have talked about it before, she's in one of those places that just... Doesn't.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 4

RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 10:26:07 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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Two hours to Albany or NYC.
One munch 45 minutes away, another an hour and a half.
Small rope group that meets in people's houses, about 18 people.

One dungeon someone set up in a barn. She means well but no DM, no bathroom, just a porta potty, all kinds of bad things have happened there and they tried to cover it up. We went a couple of times and that was it. When they were putting up suspension points, they were going to use just screws in the wood. The Man saw that and had to talk the guy doing it into using bolts with nuts on the other end that went through the beam.

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 10:48:32 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
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From: United States
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San Diego has a pretty large kink community, but it seems to fall into cliques. It's been gradually getting better, but it's still that way. We essentially dropped out of the community and stick to our circle of friends, but we do gain new friends by attending the wine or beer get togethers that happen here.

When I first started, I was living in the Los Angeles area and I was very, very spoiled. There's a social just about every week. There's something to attend every weekend. And it's such a diverse group and there isn't that exclusionary feeling that happens here in San Diego.

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 11:18:05 AM

NookieNotes

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Joined: 11/10/2013
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In Raleigh, NC, we not only have a 16 year + running educational kink group, but we also have numerous other groups, play spaces and opportunities.

About one and a quarter hours away in the Triad, we have even more, with four more venues, dozens of munches and numerous educational options.

We are seriously spoiled as well. I could do something formally or casually kinky every weekend x5, and most week days.

*smiles*

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 12:39:50 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
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Toronto has had a fair to good scene for years. ALso the golden horseshoe area down to detroit have lots of munches.

I havent been out to any locally for a long time, altho a local friend from my old scene days has offered himself up as a buddy to ease my way back in.
We have some awesome BDSM shops locally, Aslan Leather, Northbound Leather and Priape, Sinvention.
EHBC has been around over 20 years they have a page with all the local munches on a calendar with links to every munch page or event page.

Back when I started my own munch, I had a website off the store for BDSM links online, its still there, But I havent changed it in over 8 years and many links are no longer available, but of course back in 2005 things were changing all the time.

In the last ten years, Ive mostly been down in DC area clubs/functions/dungeons/
many of them have split/changed/closed, but I loved the Crucible and Black Rose, I didnt go as far south as NC, altho I did go to a bdsm even in st louis, but that was a private event.
yeah it IS time I got out again....sighs:)

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 1:28:17 PM

shiftyw

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From: The Shire
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Lol non exsistent.

I have to drive over an got to find a munch- and really that munch is one poly family and a handful of their friends...

Anywhere else "more active" is a much older crowd than me, but their pretty cool from the few I've met..very D/s centric- which is not my wheelhouse necessarily.

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Post #: 9

RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 1:31:23 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline

Oh- northern NH is my locale. Like far north.

I'd rather go to Montreal for kink than Boston far north.

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Post #: 10

RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 2:11:45 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
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I keep meaning to go to montreal during one of their fetish balls.

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 7:50:26 PM

TieMeInKnottss

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I live half way between Baltimore and DC...and it is a very active community. I think if there is a fetish, someone here has a group for it. I am pretty shy/introverted so there are more things I would LIKE to do then I actually have done but, when I was brand new...I found the beginners questions/answers, Dungeon101..all to be great. It allowed me to go into very vanilla atmospheres, get factual information and realize that kinky people come in all ages, sizes, backgrounds.

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Post #: 12

RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/3/2016 9:12:20 PM

DocStrange

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Joined: 6/10/2015
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I grew up in SW Ohio in the outskirts of Cincinnati. There was no kink scene per say in the 80s and 90s. Hell even magazines like Playboy and Penthouse were banned within the county limits. There was 1 store in Cincinnati called the Cupboard (in Clifton) that sold gag gifts and has some cheap BDSM leather items. But it was really a drug paraphernalia store (water bongs etc). Then there was the famous fight of Larry Flint (Hustler store) opening a sex toy store in Cincinnati. Unbelievable that caused so much commotion and the store was mostly just dildos, vibes etc.

Several munch groups have started and failed in Cincinnati. There was SMART, Several versions of PEER. And I cannot remember the others anymore. Though the latest version of PEER seems to have a decent group of people.

Just 60 miles north of Cincinnati is Dayton Ohio. Someone up there ran an electronic BBS (prior to Internet) for a BDSM group. They had monthly munches and monthly BDSM parties at a bar called the Goose Cafe NW of Dayton and Vandalia. No play occurred at the party. It was just a monthly social event for people to meet from the BBS. This was actually pretty cool. I go to meet a lot of people through the monthly socials.

To find an actual dungeon, one need to travel to Indianapolis IN, or Columbus OH. Both about 2 hours away. The time frame I am referring to in this post is the 80s, 90s, and early 2000. Since then social site like Yahoo, FetL and CS has let some of the BDSMers come out. But I would still argue Cincinnati really does not have a BDSM scene.

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/4/2016 2:11:16 PM

Charles6682

Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
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I started a local Munch where I live and a Female friend of mine has basically been running the group ever since. She really turned the Munch into quite a success. Fetish is slowly becoming more open where I live. FetishCon, which is a huge event, came to town last year and really brought the local fetish community out in the open to a degree. Considering that a few years ago, this town barely had any open fetish scene. That has changed a little.

< Message edited by Charles6682 -- 1/4/2016 2:12:20 PM >

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/4/2016 2:31:12 PM

Lucylastic

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I know pittsburgh has a great scene, went to a couple of munches and some play events, and they were a lottttttttt of fun.

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/7/2016 4:28:50 PM

Wayward5oul

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We have a pretty decent scene. I can't compare it to others, because I have never been to any others, but I like ours.

We have a local group that has been around almost 20 years I think. We have a lot of ties to Nashville and Atlanta, as well as other groups within the state. We have a private dungeon space where members attend events all the time. Our event calendar follows this format:

Demo/Party on the first Saturday of each month.
Friday Night Play Party is the third Friday of each month
Friday and Saturday Play Nights are throughout the month
Munch/Coffee/Discussion is every other Wednesday (not at the member space)
Socialites Game Night is the second Tuesday
Dominants Intensive meets the third Tuesday of every other month
Submissive Roundtable meets the second Thursday
Switches' Social mets the third Thursday
A Lecture happens about once a month
Other random educational opportunities often occur

The Munch/Coffee/Discussion is not like what I understand other munches are. In fact, when I first started going, I couldn't understand why they are called "munches". We meet in the upstairs of an alternative-friendly bookstore in town, with a large room that everyone goes into. There is a coffee shop in the bookstore, but no food. Most of each munch is a lecture/discussion format. They are timed to end as the bookstore closes, but it is located in an old home with a large front porch, and everyone goes out to the front porch and visits and gets to know each other. Not unusual for people to still be there an hour later.

They are VERY education-oriented, and are well-known for it, from what I understand. Some of the leadership board are people who have been involved since the very beginning of the group, and we have a lot of participation from leaders and members in other groups around the Southeast.

Very down to earth group.

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/7/2016 4:44:04 PM

spellslave

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/16/2015
From: England
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There are numerous welcoming, friendly munches both locally and within relatively easy public transport distance :) I've been to events by myself and never felt unsafe, and the regulars are more than happy for me to not go with Master (although I'm persuading him to come along!).

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/7/2016 5:05:00 PM

Greta75

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Joined: 2/6/2011
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Local munches here seem to be predominantly trans and gay men. It could be, if they are already out and open as trans and gay, that's already taboo. What's bdsm to them? People would just exactly expect them to be into that as well. Yes, sodomy is illegal in my country. So is a very funny law, where oral sex is illegal if it does not follow up with penetrative sex. But from what I know, nobody ever was prosecuted on these laws yet, at least since I was literate enough to read the news. I guess there is no way for them to monitor what you do in your private space to even make any arrest. The good news is, gay men can hold hands, hug and kiss in public and it's okay, no law broken. Just don't have anal sex in public and all is fine.

There are very very private groups and bdsm parties that occur. But within the expat community and it's really by invitation only. You really got to be vetted and you got to know someone who will recommend you into the group. It's all very secretive and private.

Other than that, I think there is hardly a scene. As everyone is individually underground and low profile about it.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/7/2016 5:10:01 PM >

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/8/2016 10:43:05 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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A munch across the street in my small town. Two dungeons in Denver, and one an hour away in Colorado Springs. Several bondage venues, and a spanking club that I'm co-running.

Yeah, we're spoiled.

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RE: What's kink like in your town? - 1/8/2016 1:14:10 PM

crumpets

Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
What is your local area like where you live?

The CS/CC staff (probably volunteer kids) fixed many of the bugs making posting here almost impossible, but there are still enough of the bugs left (don't they even test this stuff once?) that only a few people are worth responding to (fewer than my fingers can count in one iteration).

LP is certainly one of those few worth responding to.

We have a lot here in the San Francisco city area, namely there is a dungeon called "The Citadel" and the grossest fetish place in the United States, named "The Power Exchange" (it's indescribably gross, but, there are three sections of a huge warehouse, last I was there, one for gays, one for hets and one for couples, where the gross part happens in the former and not in the latter).

There's also the Wednesday-only Bondage-a-Go-Go dance club, which is a heckova-lotta fun bar and dance club.

I'm more familiar with the south bay (San Francisco is in the North Bay), so I'll post the south bay ones separately as soon as I figure out a trick to get these posts to stick given the stupid programmers on Collarspace STILL haven't gotten it right yet (they tested a single post, but they never tested someone doing what we really do, which is post multiple times or to multiple threads over a period of an hour or so - where the indecipherable captcha drives you crazy - and the posts don't take anyway.

Then you have to cut and paste your post (heaven help you if you close the window, because you will LOSE EVERYTHING!). Even so, I painstakingly added links for EVERYTHING, and then the stupid CollarSpace program went ahead and DELETED all the links. Jesus. Can they possibly make it any harder to post? It must be high-school volunteers doing the programming or testing.

There are also a ton of special interest groups that meet periodically, such as the Bay Area Pet Play and Bay Area BBW Dommes and Bay Area Dommes, which I would put links to, but they'll just get lost in the idiotic cut-and-paste gyrations I have to perform just to get a post to stick.

< Message edited by crumpets -- 1/8/2016 1:36:47 PM >

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Post #: 20

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