CS Profiles and Personal Ads (Full Version)

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OsideGirl -> CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/4/2016 3:12:50 PM)

So, after reading a few more personal ads and profiles - I'm struck by how people will put "Ask me about it", put something generic like "looking for a sub female" or go on and on about what they expect they submissive to do, but never say anything about what is in it for the submissive.

I'm curious if anyone has had success with things like that in their profiles.

I have a friend that maintains that a lot of men and scammers leave the details blank so that they can flip flop on what/who they're looking for.



DocStrange -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 6:17:53 AM)

I stay away from the "its all about me" profiles. The few times I have had conversations with those type of profiles it became very apparent the person was lazy and did not have a clue about what a relationship is and needs to survive and flourish.



MuscleBoundDom -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 7:23:12 AM)

Even when you go on Match.com and POF, most all the profiles shout, "I want this... I want that...." It just reflects how self-absorbed and self-centered our society is.



DaddySatyr -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 8:38:25 AM)


I tend to write about myself because that is the subject about which I know the most.

My profile is set up with "Bullet Points" at the top in an effort to not waste anyone's time. I explain those one-sentence statements, further down.

I don't get into too many specifics because I don't want someone being able to "craft their responses" to suit me, during our conversations.



Michael



WickedsDesire -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 8:47:08 AM)

My log on page usually turns up fake lesbians dommes (yes I know these are men). To be fair tonight every profile appearing on my main login page this eve has been fake..bar one poor chappie "is there anyone actually real here" he asked and I truly felt sorry for that one…yes a few, but not the many… I digress.

I have a friend (have you no mind of your own) that maintains that a lot of men and scammers leave the details blank so that they can flip flop on what/who they're looking for.

Your profile states Just here for the forums. it offers nothing at all, not even a slab of cake

lets go all in here
Hi I am Lesbian now living in London for the next years and am looking for lesbians. Ideally you should be no older than 35 years old and have a figure that is not overweight.


Jeana

translation I am a married guy with stolen pictures

that's what i see on my main page 100 times per day OsideGirl




kdsub -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 9:21:20 AM)

quote:

I don't want someone being able to "craft their responses" to suit me, during our conversations.


This makes a lot of sense... When I first came to CM I found myself doing exactly the above. Now I believe in generalities then taking the time to really get to know someone.

Butch



OsideGirl -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 9:24:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire


Your profile states Just here for the forums. it offers nothing at all, not even a slab of cake






My profile says exactly why I'm here. It doesn't need to say more than that.





OsideGirl -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 9:26:52 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


I don't want someone being able to "craft their responses" to suit me, during our conversations.



Michael


My friend maintains that's why some people leave their profiles blank. So, they don't get a backlash saying "But, your profile says...." They can craft their responses to whatever their prey's profile indicates that they want.



kdsub -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 9:41:00 AM)

But what is wrong with that as long as it is what both want?



DesFIP -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 10:35:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire


Your profile states Just here for the forums. it offers nothing at all, not even a slab of cake






My profile says exactly why I'm here. It doesn't need to say more than that.





Mine offers cookies. Well the pics show them off.



LadyPact -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 10:37:28 AM)

Off topic.

Dude, that's who you should have asked for the scones recipe, right there.



LadyPact -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 11:02:09 AM)

This is not going to be my prettiest post of the day. I hope folks will make some allowances for me on this one.

I don't read a whole lot of profiles. More often than not, the only thing that's going to get me to read a person's profile around here is if I'm looking for extra info in relation to a thread the someone writes. My personal opinion is that a significant percentage of what is on the 'personals' side of this site is crap and I often feel bad for those who try to use it as an effective means of finding people.

However, I see enough of what is being spoken of in the OP under that dang "Looking for Naughty Love" section. I try to stay out of it because a bunch of it is often what is described in the original. The only concession that I have about that section is somebody must have thought it was a good idea in the hopes of getting people's personal ads out of the discussion forums and I have to say at least it does that more than what the place had without it.

As far as "ask me about it" or "looking for sub female" and the usual tripe where people say "email me if interested," I think that falls into a few categories. (Have to say it.) Males, this isn't going to work for you! A random, nothing, blip on the screen isn't going to get women sending you email. It's boring and unimaginative in a venue where you are competing against some males who write very well. (Don't like the word, competing? Too bad. You are competing with other males whether you like it or not.)

Females, on the other hand, can pull off this lack of effort because males will flock to them, anyway. They will still get flooded with emails no matter what they do. I'm not saying they are all quality emails but the mailbox will be full.

Another angle to consider is that I do believe your friend is right in some cases, Oside. It's very similar to the concepts of cold reading, where there's enough open territory that the option to fill in the blanks presents itself, and the person fishing for a positive reaction can make it seem like there's a connection. Whether the goal is money, sex, or another positive benefit, they've got the other person hooked quickly and it makes it easy to manipulate the situation.



OsideGirl -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 11:24:36 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

But what is wrong with that as long as it is what both want?

I didn't say anything was wrong with it. I was curious if anyone here had had success with that approach.



DarkSteven -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 8:24:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This is not going to be my prettiest post of the day. I hope folks will make some allowances for me on this one.

I don't read a whole lot of profiles. More often than not, the only thing that's going to get me to read a person's profile around here is if I'm looking for extra info in relation to a thread the someone writes. My personal opinion is that a significant percentage of what is on the 'personals' side of this site is crap and I often feel bad for those who try to use it as an effective means of finding people.

However, I see enough of what is being spoken of in the OP under that dang "Looking for Naughty Love" section. I try to stay out of it because a bunch of it is often what is described in the original. The only concession that I have about that section is somebody must have thought it was a good idea in the hopes of getting people's personal ads out of the discussion forums and I have to say at least it does that more than what the place had without it.

As far as "ask me about it" or "looking for sub female" and the usual tripe where people say "email me if interested," I think that falls into a few categories. (Have to say it.) Males, this isn't going to work for you! A random, nothing, blip on the screen isn't going to get women sending you email. It's boring and unimaginative in a venue where you are competing against some males who write very well. (Don't like the word, competing? Too bad. You are competing with other males whether you like it or not.)

Females, on the other hand, can pull off this lack of effort because males will flock to them, anyway. They will still get flooded with emails no matter what they do. I'm not saying they are all quality emails but the mailbox will be full.

Another angle to consider is that I do believe your friend is right in some cases, Oside. It's very similar to the concepts of cold reading, where there's enough open territory that the option to fill in the blanks presents itself, and the person fishing for a positive reaction can make it seem like there's a connection. Whether the goal is money, sex, or another positive benefit, they've got the other person hooked quickly and it makes it easy to manipulate the situation.



I never understood how men try to converse online, on this site and others.

90+% of them will start a conversation with either something horribly bland ("How are you today?") or try to negotiate a relationship right up front ("So what are you looking for?")

The only reason I would message a woman here is if I saw something I liked or that intrigued me in her profile. And the initial message will ask a question or make a comment on her pic. I've asked why someone had so many pics of hummingbirds in her profile, what the birds meant to her, for example.

Conversation really isn't hard. But it DOES take some effort. And expecting a woman to carry the conversation when she's under malemessage bombardment, is ridiculous.



OsideGirl -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/5/2016 10:00:29 PM)

quote:

And expecting a woman to carry the conversation when she's under malemessage bombardment, is ridiculous.

When I was single I would see a lot of guys that labeled themselves as Dominant that expected women to (cyber) crawl to them. When the reality was that I had mailbox full of guys that actually wanted to have a conversation with me rather than talk at me.



LadyPact -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/6/2016 5:12:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
I never understood how men try to converse online, on this site and others.

90+% of them will start a conversation with either something horribly bland ("How are you today?") or try to negotiate a relationship right up front ("So what are you looking for?")

The only reason I would message a woman here is if I saw something I liked or that intrigued me in her profile. And the initial message will ask a question or make a comment on her pic. I've asked why someone had so many pics of hummingbirds in her profile, what the birds meant to her, for example.

Conversation really isn't hard. But it DOES take some effort. And expecting a woman to carry the conversation when she's under malemessage bombardment, is ridiculous.

I agree with this entirely. I think a part of it is the disconnect of men want women to talk to them, but so many are focused on the end game, they aren't focusing on the conversation. I get the fact that, in time, guys become frustrated over lack of result that they spend less effort. What I don't think they get is that is the equivalent of shooting themselves in the foot.

I have always had a great message response rate. Part of that, I know is because I'm female. The other part though is because the message I send is about something I know the other person is interested in, so they are more likely to respond. It's almost never about BDSM or sex. Last time around, it was because of a person's profile picture. I received a very nice reply and I thought the exchange was rather pleasant.

Most female profiles are written well enough that anybody could find something in them that are conversation starters. Unfortunately, a lot of people have lost the art of making small talk.

In the reverse, in regards to Oside's question, I can't say I've ever seen it work when a male just says message for details. I'm going to be really surprised if someone comes along and says it worked for them.




littleladybug -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/6/2016 7:36:34 AM)

I went through a stage where I would sit back with a glass of wine and read through profiles on here. I didn't set any search parameters, other than the owner of the profile being "online" at the time. I found it quite interesting to see what was out there.

Sure, lots of "looking for" and "ask me if you want to know", but also an incredible amount of stereotypical cliches. In my mind, it simply is what it is. I've personally not encountered any writing on a profile that would prompt me to say "wow, I've totally got to message this guy". Now, put a picture on the profile that I find interesting, and that's a different story.

I did that with my partner. Thinking back now, I have no idea what he wrote on his profile. I saw the photo and couldn't help but send him a (well-meaning) snarky message about it. I don't think that he would have had the "message me for more details" on his profile, but I couldn't say for sure.

Could the open-ended writing in a profile be a tactic used by a manipulator? Sure. But, by the same token, I would wonder about the other person who has put that much stock into what is said in an online profile, essentially a "puff-piece".

And, just saying "message for details"? That's like going fishing with no bait. I can't see how that would work on its own.



cloverodella -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/6/2016 5:10:23 PM)

Along with what everyone else has said, to me it also says "I'm too lazy to be a good Dom". What sub wants a boring, unimaginative Dom who is unwilling to put thought into what they want to have and give?



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/6/2016 5:40:11 PM)

I met a guy off Collarme, all he had on his profile was a picture of himself and the words, "new in town, looking to meet people and make friends." Or something to that effect. I wrote to him, invited him over for coffee. He showed up and we had a blast together. We are still friends many many years later. That probably isn't very typical, however. Hmm. I can't say I'd bother if all they had was contact me if you want to talk.



WickedsDesire -> RE: CS Profiles and Personal Ads (1/7/2016 8:02:57 AM)

Scone recipe where and who? cos when i get that I will leave the internet

On a non scone note if I was here for the forums I would write words because people should know whom I am and why I am imparting words to them..as opposed to I am arrogance itself, I deny you the perfect scone recipe, I offer nothing but laziness itself and my non benchmarked opinion and you should believe it because?
Nowt personal malady - a few words what harm would it do




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