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DisabledMistress -> Noticed a really distrubing trend in the way my relationships with my subs end (1/4/2016 3:30:44 PM)
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Please read, I need some thoughts/feedback on this. So I was thinking about the subs I've had in the past and in general how these relationships have gone. The majority of My subs have been older men, and while i'm not attracted to older men in general, I find an older sub to be okay (depending on the kink). However, thinking back I've noticed a really disturbing commonality between them, I've done both findomming and general and for the subs I've never met in person (I always intend to) there's always phone calls and video calling, but a lot of them seem to have sick/elderly parents. In agreements where it's been purely financial or online domination, we seem to have one or two sessions before the "sick parents" come up. With at least 4 of these online/subs I've never met, we have agreed to start an arrangement and eventually meet in person, but it never happens. After the first one or two sessions they will bring up their sick family member, saying "Oh i'm looking after my mum or i'm looking after my dad, or "my dad has cancer at the moment" or "i'm dealing with family issues/my dad passed away." Obviously if that's really going on for the person it's super stressful and I can understand not being able to commit. However, like I said it's happened at least 3 or 4 times and it seems like an incredible coincidence that is brought up after the first session or so and not in the initial contact.
Two examples :
1) Posted looking for a sub on craigslist (yes I know okay?) this older guy replied to my ad, and brought up the whole taking care of Me/spoiling Me thing he seemed to even want a poly thing in the future. We talk for a few days over CL email, and he gives Me his personal email address and mobile number. However when I text him, there's no response, a few days pass, and I think oh he's just lost interest. Literally six months lately I get a text asking if I ever ended up finding anyone else from the ad, I didn't so I say no, he asks if i'm still interested, I say yes and ask why he seemed to have vanished, he explains that his mother lives in England and is very sick, and he went and stayed there for a bit to help look after her. I'm sympathetic, and after that we start texting and calling each other regularly, we make plans to meet up. We even pick out the movie we are going to see and where we going to see it. By this point he is texting Me every morning and then a few days before we meet, he stops. I get a text message about two days later after we were supposed to meet saying he was made redundant from his job and was too depressed to go out. Long story short : He vanished again for like a month after we starting talking, (he said it was his mother again) and then again towards the middle of December (This time he said it was himself who became ill, he claimed he had gasteo, and was hospitalised or so he said). Then he vanishes again, My texts to him go unanswered, even the one on Christmas, by this time I am starting to get really fed up. He eventually replies to a Skype message saying he was depressed and "needed to get out of town" as well as "having only wifi because he switched off his phone to avoid talking to friends and family. I ask him to call Me to discuss things and he agrees, to which I tell him i'll be waiting on his call, he replies to that "with I don't need pressure at the moment" and never calls, so fed up, I just send him a text saying I have no idea what's going on with him, but I don't appreciate being stuffed around all time and if he wants to act this way then fine.
2) Meet a sub on a BDSM site in November, he lives interstate so we agree to do an online thing in which he will put a gag in and pay for every hour I ignore him. It goes well, we both enjoy, we arrange to make another time. He tells Me he is looking after his mum, and that before we arrange the next time his mum ends up in hospital and that he doesn't think he is able to continue the arrangement. Yet I still see him on Skype, marked as "available" yet he's ignoring My messages.
I have had subs in real life I've had this sort of arrangement with and it's worked well, (1 ir 2)this seems to happen a lot, like I said, seems an awful confidence that's the reason I keep getting.
I've had a close family member go through cancer twice, and a grandad also pass away from cancer. So I know it can be very stressful, but something seems suss to me and it's a pretty low thing to use such a serious disease as an excuse.
Sorry been thinking about this lengthhadto get it off My chest.
What do you guys think is going on with these guys?
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