public vs. private play

public vs. private play (Full Version)

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comesoncommand -> public vs. private play (7/18/2006 9:49:33 PM)
i know in many cities and areas there are many private groups of individuals who hold private play parties. For those of you who attend those, or are part, how did you go about finding those wonderful networks? Also, can someone shed some light on a comparison between public play and play in a private party atmosphere?

juliaoceania -> RE: public vs. private play (7/18/2006 9:55:39 PM)
Some people meet others from online ads and message boards, many meet at munches, some meet at dungeons... It is kinda a small community in many places, so sometimes groups meet by attending each other's events in other small cities. You make a few friends, and then viola! private partying starts!

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: public vs. private play (7/18/2006 10:01:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: comesoncommand i know in many cities and areas there are many private groups of individuals who hold private play parties. For those of you who attend those, or are part, how did you go about finding those wonderful networks? Usually through friends I met in the public groups. Or occasionally from online interactions. quote: Also, can someone shed some light on a comparison between public play and play in a private party atmosphere? Usually fewer rules in private (sex/alcohol more likely to be allowed, people allowed to play and roam for free, no dms), usually more intimate quiet space to play, less enya music. Usually people know eachother more so there's less stress about knowing new people and new dynamics. There's also sometimes more drama since they aren't on their public behavior and more posturing. I like private, semi private, and public play- all for different reasons. I take the good in them all and enjoy them for what they have.

CrappyDom -> RE: public vs. private play (7/18/2006 10:02:05 PM)
Warning - Broad Generalization Public play boils down to the common denominator Private play because guests are selected by the partygiver tends to be skewed in one direction, for better or worse.

ownedgirlie -> RE: public vs. private play (7/18/2006 10:10:23 PM)
LOL at less enya. That was funny. (edited because I guess the ampersand gets filtered)

sub4hire -> RE: public vs. private play (7/19/2006 7:57:55 AM)
Find a local munch group. For many years we've had a woman out here in San Diego who has had a web page...it has links all over the world. Just do a search for Caryl's BDSM page. I personally prefer private parties. You can do much more. Generally you are amoung friends. At public parties you have a lot of voyeurs. A lot of people doing things that should never be done safety wise because they are trying to show off. When in reality they are only showing how inexperienced they are. At private parties more people play, where at public parties you get a lot of standing around. There are a great many differences to like one verses the other. You'd just have to try one or the other to judge for yourself where you feel most comfortable.

ravn -> RE: public vs. private play (7/19/2006 2:33:55 PM)
I've played in public play-spaces, and i've now played at private parties. The biggest difference? I was more at ease at the private party and not once did i get someone coming up to say "That's just wrong! How can you say you like that? He's making you say that isn't he? I wouldn't use that thing on my horse!"

Bearlee -> RE: public vs. private play (7/19/2006 2:49:39 PM)
I find most often the biggest difference in public and private play is the number of people and (usually) the extent of sexual intimacy. I like both. Public play (for me) is a great place to play with a new partner. There are Dungeon Monitors around, lotsa people...but less 'personal' than a private party. I like that... That...and no sex at the Public venue. Private parties are fun because there IS often sex there...and more intimate fun. Still, some play, some don't. At a private party, I might be more relaxed...enough to try some newier kind of play; and include more sexual stuff. I dunno...it's just that; private. I've never had someone ever approach us and say anything like 'you're doing it wrong'. Though, I did once have a DM check-in to ask if this was resistance play. But then...a nervous cop was watching! LOL MOO; MNSHO..............YMMV

Bearlee -> RE: public vs. private play (7/19/2006 2:53:10 PM)
LOL... you like sjamboks too, huh? sweet! [:D] Still, I probably wouldn't use one on a horse, either! Weren't they made for elephants (and later 'crowd control'?)

bandit25 -> RE: public vs. private play (7/19/2006 2:55:42 PM)
Believe it or not, the private play parties I've been to (not that there are that many) have had more people than the public ones...go figure!

Bearlee -> RE: public vs. private play (7/19/2006 2:57:38 PM)
LOL... who knew?

ravn -> RE: public vs. private play (7/19/2006 3:02:01 PM)
yeah, it (the sjambok) is the most painful form of non-lethal crowd control that they employ, but they were origianlly made out of elephant/rhino skin, but that's illegal so we use good ole hard rubbery-plastic here.

cutelinygurl84 -> RE: public vs. private play (7/19/2006 3:53:57 PM)
Its hard for me to play when others are watching but I would play in a public place like the beach at night or in a parking lot it just makes me uncomfortable when others are watching. If my Dom wanted me to play in front of others with him but only with him I would do it for him. I would never be able to play at a public party no matter how much he asked me too. Cutelinygurl84

MdmSarah -> RE: public vs. private play (7/20/2006 11:24:00 AM)
I've always found private play parties by either making friends with folks through munches then getting invited, or just by hosting my own. I adore hosting private parties - good friends, good food, good play, stretched out over a weekend. I'm fairly liberal in the rules I ask guests to follow - cover anything that's penetrating with a condom, sit on a towel if you're naked, keep play to the guest and play rooms only, clean up when you're done. Otherwise, it's more of an open atmosphere than a "public" play party - and people are more likely to join in scenes because as the host, at least I know everyone. Hmm...sounds like I need to start planning a weekend sometime soon....

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