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Concerning people who stop contact/"time wasters?&... - 1/13/2016 10:38:25 AM

CodeOfSilence

Posts: 235
Status: offline

Ahem...

This may not be the best topic to start here but it's something I read on a lot of profiles so I'd like to explain to you my instance of "time wasting" and that it may not be as bad as you think!

So, I contacted a dominant lady in the United States some time ago and we spoke at lengths during a relatively short period of time.
She was pleasant and I was truly intrigued and so was she I think. We were discussing me possibly coming over, staying with her a few weeks or months and trying out the life more seriously than I've ever thought about before. I was in a period after being done with my studies and thought that a proper place to start was at the bottom if I ever wanted to advance to the top. ;-)

Either way, some things turned out differently, I took a break from the whole kink-thing and as I used my contact details less and less I ended up even forgetting them and not being able to access my Skype account.

From my perspective we had a couple of good discussions, shared some experiences and such. I do feel bad for not taking the responsibility as one might say to announce the withdrawal of mine from the proposition and I personally do take offense at when people do not follow through with their obligations or announce that they can't, especially in relationships or business.

But look, shit happens. Dating (online) today is almost overwhelming in terms of the options available and I do not think that the loss of one contact while having others is that bad.

Do feel free to discuss your experiences, why you feel differently or if you feel the same way.

PS: This thread is not about people stoping to message after a few messages on CM or elsewhere. That happens to everyone, deal with it.

Post #: 1

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/13/2016 1:30:08 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CodeOfSilence

But look, shit happens. Dating (online) today is almost overwhelming in terms of the options available and I do not think that the loss of one contact while having others is that bad.

Do feel free to discuss your experiences, why you feel differently or if you feel the same way.

My view has always been that until you've met face to face, it's not real and that casual contact is just casual contact. It's the equivalent of some guy in a bar throwing a temper tantrum because the girl he was talking wouldn't go home with him after he talked to her.

When I was single, I was surprised at how many guys would throw a tantrum if I logged off. They somehow felt that I should be sitting there waiting with bated breath for their next email for IM, when I didn't even know them.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to CodeOfSilence)

Post #: 2

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/13/2016 3:37:00 PM

spellslave

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/16/2015
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: CodeOfSilence

But look, shit happens. Dating (online) today is almost overwhelming in terms of the options available and I do not think that the loss of one contact while having others is that bad.

Do feel free to discuss your experiences, why you feel differently or if you feel the same way.

My view has always been that until you've met face to face, it's not real and that casual contact is just casual contact. It's the equivalent of some guy in a bar throwing a temper tantrum because the girl he was talking wouldn't go home with him after he talked to her.

When I was single, I was surprised at how many guys would throw a tantrum if I logged off. They somehow felt that I should be sitting there waiting with bated breath for their next email for IM, when I didn't even know them.

This sums up my view nicely as well.

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Post #: 3

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/14/2016 1:05:49 AM

Behavebeehive

Posts: 13
Joined: 1/13/2016
Status: offline

How is The husband Osidegirl?

(in reply to spellslave)

Post #: 4

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/14/2016 8:50:27 AM

CodeOfSilence

Posts: 235
Status: offline

Manners don't stop just because two faces accost each other through a screen.

But I guess todays social media is making this the norm even between good friends.
This being a leisurely type of communication where conversations stop abruptly only to continue at a later point, as if reading a book and taking a break not after every chapter but in the middle of every chapter. As if sending two halves of a letter instead of one whole.

I don't like it but I don't think it's the whole world if it happens.

< Message edited by CodeOfSilence -- 1/14/2016 9:07:49 AM >

(in reply to Behavebeehive)

Post #: 5

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/14/2016 9:19:33 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CodeOfSilence

This being a leisurely type of communication where conversations stop abruptly only to continue at a later point, as if reading a book and taking a break not after every chapter but in the middle of every chapter. As if sending two halves of a letter instead of one whole.

That's pretty much how I feel about it.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to CodeOfSilence)

Post #: 6

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/14/2016 9:33:26 AM

CodeOfSilence

Posts: 235
Status: offline

I understand, I'm just saying I don't dig it. I'm abhorred by the effect this has on human to human communication like when I see two friends enter a bus and instead of talking to each other or just enjoying the view/journey, they turn to their phones and start talking to texting to other people or browsing their profiles and as they exit they stop. Life should be lived like a continous thread, in the moment, not a devotion to a hundred simultaneous moments in some effort to sew a rag-tag quilt resembling a life.

I mean that's a bus. When people update their profiles when in a pub or club I just want to shoot them. But thank god this seems to be in decline.

< Message edited by CodeOfSilence -- 1/14/2016 9:35:50 AM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 7

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/15/2016 11:10:30 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

And I frequently have to put my book down mid chapter. Because real life comes first.

If some online only acquaintance wants to throw a fit about it, that tells me I don't want any more contact with them.

Beyond that, if you hold this as an unexpressed expectation then the responsibility is yours. Because you could have easily told them upfront that unless they conduct their online conversations in this manner, that you aren't compatible. At which point they would have wished you good luck finding someone more compatible. See how much easier that would be in screening for compatibility?

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Post #: 8

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/15/2016 1:25:57 PM

sweetieDA

Posts: 129
Joined: 4/3/2015
Status: offline

*shrugs* it seems like you wasted your own time, tbh. She probably has a multitude of followers but you may not get that chance again.

(in reply to CodeOfSilence)

Post #: 9

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/16/2016 11:55:38 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Query-why is it time wasting.
The same way people pay $2 for a powerball ticket but what they are really doing is paying a nominal fee to dream, you are investing time to have hope.

Me?
I have a clear POV-I think all ya bitches are fake until I lay eyes on ya and even then I'm gonna be watching close..

After a while, you get radar. Generally I can smell a fake miles away. But I also look for cues, hints and signs that shit ain't all wonderful in Denmark

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to sweetieDA)

Post #: 10

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/16/2016 2:38:02 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Query-why is it time wasting.
The same way people pay $2 for a powerball ticket but what they are really doing is paying a nominal fee to dream, you are investing time to have hope.

That's a great way to put it.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 11

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/16/2016 2:54:10 PM

CodeOfSilence

Posts: 235
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Query-why is it time wasting.
The same way people pay $2 for a powerball ticket but what they are really doing is paying a nominal fee to dream, you are investing time to have hope.

What a silly analogy. Nobody is conversing online with tilted odds like those.

Besides, my radar is quite up to date, I frankly don't understand all the complaints about fakers here or elsewhere. The last time I got screwed over by someone on the internet was when I was 13 years old and I bought flowers on a PC game for a female character who ended up being a dude.

quote:

*shrugs* it seems like you wasted your own time, tbh. She probably has a multitude of followers but you may not get that chance again.

I wasted my time how? On what? I abrogated the exchange. Don't be stupid. I hope she found someone fun to play around with.
What I meant with the thread is that I don't see it as a loss really because we gained some new vibrations from our wavefunctions interlocking!

Perhaps that can be true even if someone for what ever reasons doesn't show up in real life.

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 12

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/16/2016 8:51:34 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

What a silly analogy. Nobody is conversing online with tilted odds like those.

You obviously haven't seen some of the posters here.
They have a far better chance of hitting the powerball than meeting a real live woman that would submit to them and/or accept their submission without chloroform or GBH being involved.

Meanwhile, silly, silly-you asked to have experiences shared and then critique them.
Wags finger. Tsk Tsk.
For shame.

Meanwhile, you don't hear me complaining about fakes. Collarme/space has been wonderful to me.
I've had the joy of meeting Doctors, Lawyers, CFO's, CIO's, pornstars, escorts, housewives and nurses galore. Made lots of good friends from all sides of the kneel. Learned a lot, maybe shared a lesson learned or two. Hopefully made a few peeps laugh, passed on some of the joy I see in life.
Fuck, the very first chick I ever hooked up with from here was an Insex model. Online life can't start much better than that.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to CodeOfSilence)

Post #: 13

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/17/2016 10:12:49 AM

CodeOfSilence

Posts: 235
Status: offline

Bro

I do wonder why dudes can be a bit more awkward than dudettes. Perhaps it's because other dudes do screw anything that moves if they are drunk, loosening them a bit.

Or perhaps dudes jut don't tell dudettes when they are awkward....as to better facilitate said intercourse. But really I wouldn't call the people that you speak about as awkward, because awkward can even be good. They are just socially inept and there should be some dating service for the socially inept....hmm! I just need to phrase it better and I have a good thing rolling.

Ah, gone are anyway the good old days when the family would force their child to pretentious gatherings of courtship where everyone ended up with something and that wall was broken down before it grew too thick.

quote:

without chloroform or GBH being involved.

I'm sure some have those fetishes too!
And imagine then as she thinks *ah the bliss of being kidnapped* slowly opening her eyes.
- Oh...HELL NO.

Kidnapped victims can't be choosers...

< Message edited by CodeOfSilence -- 1/17/2016 10:26:41 AM >

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 14

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/17/2016 9:49:44 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I do wonder why dudes can be a bit more awkward than dudettes

Likely something combination of Male ego and thinking with the little head would be my guess

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to CodeOfSilence)

Post #: 15

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/17/2016 10:15:36 PM

R3dwillow

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/11/2015
Status: offline

time waster= someone who is not clear about their intentions- or purposely paints a false view... I have men I chat with knowing full well nothing will eve come from it but what it is- chatting. Then there are men who state they want to meet up, it's possible, they are close enough, this is a different story. In this case you start a different convo and prepare, set something up to meet at a nice place, then they are a no-show without any notification. That's a time waster.

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 16

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/17/2016 11:09:49 PM

domincalifornia

Posts: 88
Joined: 6/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CodeOfSilence

From my perspective we had a couple of good discussions, shared some experiences and such. I do feel bad for not taking the responsibility as one might say to announce the withdrawal of mine from the proposition and I personally do take offense at when people do not follow through with their obligations or announce that they can't, especially in relationships or business.

In terms of relationships, nothing that happens online matters much. Heck, people have no trouble blowing each other off after they've met, had sex, whatever. And it's cool to vent after getting blown off.

Basically, 99% of people will do what's good for themselves and if you're feelings get hurt along the way they really don't care.

(in reply to CodeOfSilence)

Post #: 17

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/17/2016 11:36:26 PM

MuscleBoundDom

Posts: 90
Joined: 9/24/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domincalifornia

quote:

ORIGINAL: CodeOfSilence

From my perspective we had a couple of good discussions, shared some experiences and such. I do feel bad for not taking the responsibility as one might say to announce the withdrawal of mine from the proposition and I personally do take offense at when people do not follow through with their obligations or announce that they can't, especially in relationships or business.

In terms of relationships, nothing that happens online matters much. Heck, people have no trouble blowing each other off after they've met, had sex, whatever. And it's cool to vent after getting blown off.

Basically, 99% of people will do what's good for themselves and if you're feelings get hurt along the way they really don't care.

It just goes to show that most people are so self-absorbed and self-centered . .. they don't care about anyone else but themselves.

(in reply to domincalifornia)

Post #: 18

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/18/2016 12:07:46 AM

domincalifornia

Posts: 88
Joined: 6/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom

quote:

ORIGINAL: domincalifornia

quote:

ORIGINAL: CodeOfSilence

From my perspective we had a couple of good discussions, shared some experiences and such. I do feel bad for not taking the responsibility as one might say to announce the withdrawal of mine from the proposition and I personally do take offense at when people do not follow through with their obligations or announce that they can't, especially in relationships or business.

In terms of relationships, nothing that happens online matters much. Heck, people have no trouble blowing each other off after they've met, had sex, whatever. And it's cool to vent after getting blown off.

Basically, 99% of people will do what's good for themselves and if you're feelings get hurt along the way they really don't care.

It just goes to show that most people are so self-absorbed and self-centered . .. they don't care about anyone else but themselves.

I wouldn't phrase it that way myself. I know lots of kind and compassionate people. But when it comes to matters of the heart, people are trying to take care of their own emotional and physical needs first, and they can react insensitively for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is protecting their own emotions. And really it's a little much to expect someone to get overly invested in your feelings when you are just an anonymous text or email.

< Message edited by domincalifornia -- 1/18/2016 12:11:06 AM >

(in reply to MuscleBoundDom)

Post #: 19

RE: Concerning people who stop contact/"time waste... - 1/18/2016 2:53:21 AM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

Im online a lot, Im not looking so I havent had to deal with millions of messages, but Ive had a couple of clocksuckers over the years. Women and men.
I know when my kids were younger(as in teens) I would do my online stuff when they were at school, or after they went to bed,
A sick kid and life has a way of getting in the way of structure.
Working online daily actually is more difficult as a lot of my time is taken up with the unexpected.... nothing super important except to me and the person emailing.
Disappearing without contact has also happened to me, more often than I like, but only two were clock suckers.
I offer my phone number to a fair number of people to let them know they can get hold of me. If they need to.
Of course that takes time to get thru that layer of trust.
Lessons learned.

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(in reply to domincalifornia)

Post #: 20

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