RE: The more I know of how to please you, the more I can actually please you (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

LadyPact -> RE: The more I know of how to please you, the more I can actually please you (1/18/2016 6:22:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
Yes. You understood.

I have ideas of how "I" would want things, but, that doesn't mean there is a "She" who would want the same.

This is kind of the point. When it comes to pleasing a certain individual, you have to know that individual. I started telling a story a couple of years ago about (of all things) how thrilled I was because of a very small incident regarding the first time tk did dishes at my house. (In my house, we wash the dishes before they hit the dishwasher. It's one of my quirks.) I had to attend to something else, so he offered to do them one morning. Before he started the machine, he came and got me and asked if the way he had done it was the way I wanted it.

Not the way he wanted it. Was it the way **I** wanted it? I was so happy with him I could have done cartwheels.

quote:

I think, my current dynamic, is to ask, and then be told, and then to try and then to be corrected, and then to try harder, and to be corrected further, if necessary, and then to keep trying (with little things inevitably added ad-hoc, some of which work out, others don't), where the whole process hones the skill (whatever it is) down to the perfection of the way she likes it.

Hopefully, this is an over time process. Depending on who you are dealing with, too many "corrections" can get on a person's nerves. Details and corrections are two different things. I'm of this weird opinion that, if you are submitting to someone else, the task gets done to the other person's preference, even if you don't think it's the best way to do something.

quote:

Luckily, I (think I) take correction well. I just have to be told some things that are already obvious to others sometimes.
But once I'm clearly directed, I take that well (remember the strong "P" in me gets along well with a strong "J").

One thing I'd suggest would be keep objections and debate on little things in a very limited capacity. Minor things such as how to fold a shirt in the way a person wants should just get done. If you are referring to anything sexual, just do it her way. You can always recap later for clarification.

quote:

I do try to do the anticipatory service, because I always have lots and lots of ideas; but, in reality, I prefer to be told what to do.
The problem is, I guess, is that most women I know (to date, anyway) want ME to be the one to lead with ideas.

Maybe that's why I'm a bit confused?

To me, anticipatory service are the things you know. Not the ones you think or suppose. When she comes to your place, what beverages should you have on hand? What kind of food does she like if there is going to be dinner out or ordered in? Are you going to have a long night of playing and you know she prefers eggs for breakfast for the protein or does she tend to like fruit? Those things are anticipatory service.

The longer you know the person, you learn more about them, so more things go into this category. Maybe some of the s-types in long term dynamics will chime in for this part. It would give you a better scope of how anticipatory service works for them, as they all have different D-types who have a range of preferences.



crumpets -> RE: The more I know of how to please you, the more I can actually please you (1/18/2016 5:48:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Not the way he wanted it. Was it the way **I** wanted it? I was so happy with him I could have done cartwheels.

He sounds perfectly tuned to your needs!
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
too many "corrections" can get on a person's nerves.

Preventing "over corrections" is what gags and handcuffs and humblers are for!
(jk)
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
the task gets done to the other person's preference, even if you don't think it's the best way to do something.

I agree.
That's the whole point, which is to learn how to do it Her way (hypothetical Her).
It's a "wax on, wax off", instead of "wax off, wax on", kind of thing, I guess.

Of course, many people want the sub to exercise creative initiative (they don't want a mere robot).
So, it's a delicate balance, I would think, of her way + ad-hoc improvements (if directed well).

I guess that's where the sharp smack with the riding crop helps keep the focus on what's important.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
To me, anticipatory service are the things you know.
Not the ones you think or suppose.

I'm listening ...
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
When she comes to your place, what beverages should you have on hand?
What kind of food does she like if there is going to be dinner out or ordered in?
Are you going to have a long night of playing and you know she prefers eggs for breakfast for the protein or does she tend to like fruit?
Those things are anticipatory service.

Sounds perfectly honed.
It doesn't happen right away, and, the focus has to be continuous improvement, but, I have that focus anyway (in all that I do).
Heck, I'm still improving the finess of how I shift and brake while driving and riding my bike, so, the continuous improvement never stops.
I just gotta be able to shuddyup for long enough to know 'xactly what she likes!
(I think that's why they invented gags, isn't it?)

Thanks for the advice.



NookieNotes -> RE: The more I know of how to please you, the more I can actually please you (1/19/2016 4:34:40 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets
Of course, many people want the sub to exercise creative initiative (they don't want a mere robot).
So, it's a delicate balance, I would think, of her way + ad-hoc improvements (if directed well).


Yes. It's using what you know + creative deduction.

For example, me. My two love languages are gifts and quality time. I love tea. I love to talk about ideas. These are things you know.

Add date (quality time) with a new tea and maybe a new cup or tea trinket (gifts), AND serve me with them, while we relax together and discuss various ideas.

Now, maybe I don't prefer the tea you bought (that's a taste thing), but the gift and talks are always appreciated. Or, I might LOVE the tea (if you ask Ryan at Tin Roof, he'll be able to suggest something awesome), and that makes it an even greater win...

You see?

My Pet. His love languages are touch and words of affirmation. He loves listening to audio while he works.

For Christmas, I gave him a weekly audio. I started in early December (he had no idea what I was doing), so he would know what he was getting, and "gave" him weekly through the end of 2016.

I simply start the recording and speak to him on a number of different topics, some sexy, some humiliating, some simply loving. They usually record about 10-15 minutes.

And he gets it every week. He loves them and always looks forward to his next episode.

My Ex. He also knew I used to raise rats as a child and love opals. Years ago.

Put a Beanie Baby rat in a potted plant in the house. Waited for me to find him for six days. When I did, it had custom-designed opal earrings through his ears.

These are examples of what you know added to what you could guess, mixed with a bit of creativity. There is no limit.



sambowogambo -> This is how you can please me! (1/20/2016 6:06:18 AM)

What I write here many malevolent personalities will call mumbo jumbo. That is a term concocted by the former Bwana, white colonial rulers of my beloved country, South Africa. We served two masters, one the British were firm yet fair, and they governed well. The other, the Dutch Afrikaner were racist genocidists and blatant segregationists, just like the religious bigots of the USA southern states. Now we rule ourselves despite some blatantly corrupt opportunist politicians often repeating the Afrikaner methods.
This will fall upon deaf ears and the three wise monkeys will be joined by the three mischievous monkeys. I fully realize that my appeal will be vilified by antagonists and that the Moderators will do absolutely nothing whatsoever in the form of censure to the perpetrators. Most probably the messenger relaying the true facts will be victimized and penalized and the perpetrators be permitted to continue their vile rhetoric. This has happened before when the website owners placed out advertisements for moderators and the advertisements made it clear that fairness and impartiality were necessary. They hired a number of individuals who collectively conspired to cause multiple problems for the forums and the website. They were partisan and never moderated the forums in any fair and impartial manner. If a person disagreed with something the moderators supported are believed then that person was barred permanently from the message boards. That was contrary to the websites policies but the moderators concerned breached website protocols frequently.No warning, no appeal. Also they found that their account could not be accessed by others and at times even themselves. Many complained to the management who did nothing for several years until they realized that certain people were actually contributing to the websites ill reputation and profit loss. They then took action. The criminal element within collarspace was removed from office. They were replaced by new moderators. These new ones are fairer but also often very ineffective. They fail to realize that the self same group of malevolent individuals who include the former moderators and employees are the self same ones who frequently click onto the report button and complain about mostly innocent threads. These same malevolent individuals conspire daily to cause trouble in the forums. The accuse many of being trolls and sock puppets, few they accuse actually are such. Any sock puppets that exist do so because of the behaviour of those malevolent individuals. In order to try to justify their otherwise suspect behaviour they use terms like troll and sock to justify the vile and obnoxious comment attacks upon people.
The TOS are guidelines relating to online user conduct. They are written legalize that cannot really be enforced. Owners, employees, moderators, and members regularly ignore the TOS but only a minority are penalized for doing so and this signifies selected victimization of certain individuals and the majority are permitted to continue with the bullying, intimidation and victimization without censure.
These forums are visited 24/7/365 by people from around the world. They each come from different cultures that exhibit different attitudes and toleration levels to anyone who does not think and act likes them. The reality is we are all from diverse backgrounds. We have been shaped by our environment. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. We are never all going to agree with all topics on the forums but we must each respect other people’s perspectives even if they are blatantly wrong. We, ourselves, can be wrong at times and therefore should comprehend that being wrong is a human trait failing. Some of us are good at certain things and bad at others. Nobody excels at everything. Many are intolerant of spelling, punctuation and grammar mistakes, but may themselves be inadequate when it comes to Arithmetic let alone mathematics. How quick we all are to condemn others for failings we may share. None of us are perfect because like infinity perfection cannot be attained, we can only aspire to attain. Politics and Religion conspire to divide people so we are easier to control and manipulate. We are lied to daily but it is dressed as truth but has no foundation and cannot stand up to inquisitive scrutiny. There are several competing sets of malevolent troublemakers frequenting these boards. They loathe each other and they each create multiple sock puppets to mock each other and annoy innocent thread starters. They think that they alone are the only ones entitled to use the forums as a private message exchange and they do not tolerate anyone they see as being another interloper. They each claim one person alone is responsible for all the trolls and socks. To use a British Expression, ‘I should Cocoa’ are ‘It’s just not Cricket’. I doubt if anyone has the time to create thousands of such cyber entities it is frankly far too much trouble. Several rival sets of troublemakers sure have the time and indeed, are actively engaged in doing so as you read these very words. If you were to waste time and remain awake and observe these boards you would witness that many appear never to be offline are even sleep much. They are constantly writing to their online friends and allies and also constantly attacking their online enemies and many new to the forum threads starters. They are always vile in their comments.
Moderators wakey, wakey, rise and shine. Do your jobs it’s what you volunteered for. Watch out for the serial reporter complaining about people without real foundation. Members report anyone who aimlessly attacks someone’s thread when the thread starter has not been rude are aggressive. If you do nothing then the message boards will deteriorate to a level of the kindergarten and not be worth entering. So report any and every vile comment and attack against a person who is a not being rude and obnoxious and they can be moderated and the boards will benefit. Do not let the malevolent few make malicious reports and go without challenge. I have sown the seeds and await the harvest. I have sown the wind and await the whirlwind. Moderator if you read this take heed of it and act rationally and fairly. See who the serial reporters are and ignore them unless they can justify their complaint



MuscleBoundDom -> RE: This is how you can please me! (1/20/2016 10:01:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sambowogambo

What I write here many malevolent personalities will call mumbo jumbo. That is a term concocted by the former Bwana, white colonial rulers of my beloved country, South Africa. We served two masters, one the British were firm yet fair, and they governed well. The other, the Dutch Afrikaner were racist genocidists and blatant segregationists, just like the religious bigots of the USA southern states. Now we rule ourselves despite some blatantly corrupt opportunist politicians often repeating the Afrikaner methods.
This will fall upon deaf ears and the three wise monkeys will be joined by the three mischievous monkeys. I fully realize that my appeal will be vilified by antagonists and that the Moderators will do absolutely nothing whatsoever in the form of censure to the perpetrators. Most probably the messenger relaying the true facts will be victimized and penalized and the perpetrators be permitted to continue their vile rhetoric. This has happened before when the website owners placed out advertisements for moderators and the advertisements made it clear that fairness and impartiality were necessary. They hired a number of individuals who collectively conspired to cause multiple problems for the forums and the website. They were partisan and never moderated the forums in any fair and impartial manner. If a person disagreed with something the moderators supported are believed then that person was barred permanently from the message boards. That was contrary to the websites policies but the moderators concerned breached website protocols frequently.No warning, no appeal. Also they found that their account could not be accessed by others and at times even themselves. Many complained to the management who did nothing for several years until they realized that certain people were actually contributing to the websites ill reputation and profit loss. They then took action. The criminal element within collarspace was removed from office. They were replaced by new moderators. These new ones are fairer but also often very ineffective. They fail to realize that the self same group of malevolent individuals who include the former moderators and employees are the self same ones who frequently click onto the report button and complain about mostly innocent threads. These same malevolent individuals conspire daily to cause trouble in the forums. The accuse many of being trolls and sock puppets, few they accuse actually are such. Any sock puppets that exist do so because of the behaviour of those malevolent individuals. In order to try to justify their otherwise suspect behaviour they use terms like troll and sock to justify the vile and obnoxious comment attacks upon people.
The TOS are guidelines relating to online user conduct. They are written legalize that cannot really be enforced. Owners, employees, moderators, and members regularly ignore the TOS but only a minority are penalized for doing so and this signifies selected victimization of certain individuals and the majority are permitted to continue with the bullying, intimidation and victimization without censure.
These forums are visited 24/7/365 by people from around the world. They each come from different cultures that exhibit different attitudes and toleration levels to anyone who does not think and act likes them. The reality is we are all from diverse backgrounds. We have been shaped by our environment. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. We are never all going to agree with all topics on the forums but we must each respect other people’s perspectives even if they are blatantly wrong. We, ourselves, can be wrong at times and therefore should comprehend that being wrong is a human trait failing. Some of us are good at certain things and bad at others. Nobody excels at everything. Many are intolerant of spelling, punctuation and grammar mistakes, but may themselves be inadequate when it comes to Arithmetic let alone mathematics. How quick we all are to condemn others for failings we may share. None of us are perfect because like infinity perfection cannot be attained, we can only aspire to attain. Politics and Religion conspire to divide people so we are easier to control and manipulate. We are lied to daily but it is dressed as truth but has no foundation and cannot stand up to inquisitive scrutiny. There are several competing sets of malevolent troublemakers frequenting these boards. They loathe each other and they each create multiple sock puppets to mock each other and annoy innocent thread starters. They think that they alone are the only ones entitled to use the forums as a private message exchange and they do not tolerate anyone they see as being another interloper. They each claim one person alone is responsible for all the trolls and socks. To use a British Expression, ‘I should Cocoa’ are ‘It’s just not Cricket’. I doubt if anyone has the time to create thousands of such cyber entities it is frankly far too much trouble. Several rival sets of troublemakers sure have the time and indeed, are actively engaged in doing so as you read these very words. If you were to waste time and remain awake and observe these boards you would witness that many appear never to be offline are even sleep much. They are constantly writing to their online friends and allies and also constantly attacking their online enemies and many new to the forum threads starters. They are always vile in their comments.
Moderators wakey, wakey, rise and shine. Do your jobs it’s what you volunteered for. Watch out for the serial reporter complaining about people without real foundation. Members report anyone who aimlessly attacks someone’s thread when the thread starter has not been rude are aggressive. If you do nothing then the message boards will deteriorate to a level of the kindergarten and not be worth entering. So report any and every vile comment and attack against a person who is a not being rude and obnoxious and they can be moderated and the boards will benefit. Do not let the malevolent few make malicious reports and go without challenge. I have sown the seeds and await the harvest. I have sown the wind and await the whirlwind. Moderator if you read this take heed of it and act rationally and fairly. See who the serial reporters are and ignore them unless they can justify their complaint




He has been "copying & pasting" this on different posts.
Could anyone explain, in one sentence, what he is trying to say?



freedomdwarf1 -> RE: This is how you can please me! (1/20/2016 10:05:54 AM)

He's just doing what socks do best - being a fucking nuisance!!



LadyPact -> RE: This is how you can please me! (1/21/2016 8:33:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom
He has been "copying & pasting" this on different posts.
Could anyone explain, in one sentence, what he is trying to say?

If you mean something other than he's displaying that he's a waste of human skin, probably not.




OsideGirl -> RE: This is how you can please me! (1/21/2016 10:02:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom


quote:

ORIGINAL: sambowogambo

What I write here many malevolent personalities will call mumbo jumbo. That is a term concocted by the former Bwana, white colonial rulers of my beloved country, South Africa. We served two masters, one the British were firm yet fair, and they governed well. The other, the Dutch Afrikaner were racist genocidists and blatant segregationists, just like the religious bigots of the USA southern states. Now we rule ourselves despite some blatantly corrupt opportunist politicians often repeating the Afrikaner methods.
This will fall upon deaf ears and the three wise monkeys will be joined by the three mischievous monkeys. I fully realize that my appeal will be vilified by antagonists and that the Moderators will do absolutely nothing whatsoever in the form of censure to the perpetrators. Most probably the messenger relaying the true facts will be victimized and penalized and the perpetrators be permitted to continue their vile rhetoric. This has happened before when the website owners placed out advertisements for moderators and the advertisements made it clear that fairness and impartiality were necessary. They hired a number of individuals who collectively conspired to cause multiple problems for the forums and the website. They were partisan and never moderated the forums in any fair and impartial manner. If a person disagreed with something the moderators supported are believed then that person was barred permanently from the message boards. That was contrary to the websites policies but the moderators concerned breached website protocols frequently.No warning, no appeal. Also they found that their account could not be accessed by others and at times even themselves. Many complained to the management who did nothing for several years until they realized that certain people were actually contributing to the websites ill reputation and profit loss. They then took action. The criminal element within collarspace was removed from office. They were replaced by new moderators. These new ones are fairer but also often very ineffective. They fail to realize that the self same group of malevolent individuals who include the former moderators and employees are the self same ones who frequently click onto the report button and complain about mostly innocent threads. These same malevolent individuals conspire daily to cause trouble in the forums. The accuse many of being trolls and sock puppets, few they accuse actually are such. Any sock puppets that exist do so because of the behaviour of those malevolent individuals. In order to try to justify their otherwise suspect behaviour they use terms like troll and sock to justify the vile and obnoxious comment attacks upon people.
The TOS are guidelines relating to online user conduct. They are written legalize that cannot really be enforced. Owners, employees, moderators, and members regularly ignore the TOS but only a minority are penalized for doing so and this signifies selected victimization of certain individuals and the majority are permitted to continue with the bullying, intimidation and victimization without censure.
These forums are visited 24/7/365 by people from around the world. They each come from different cultures that exhibit different attitudes and toleration levels to anyone who does not think and act likes them. The reality is we are all from diverse backgrounds. We have been shaped by our environment. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. We are never all going to agree with all topics on the forums but we must each respect other people’s perspectives even if they are blatantly wrong. We, ourselves, can be wrong at times and therefore should comprehend that being wrong is a human trait failing. Some of us are good at certain things and bad at others. Nobody excels at everything. Many are intolerant of spelling, punctuation and grammar mistakes, but may themselves be inadequate when it comes to Arithmetic let alone mathematics. How quick we all are to condemn others for failings we may share. None of us are perfect because like infinity perfection cannot be attained, we can only aspire to attain. Politics and Religion conspire to divide people so we are easier to control and manipulate. We are lied to daily but it is dressed as truth but has no foundation and cannot stand up to inquisitive scrutiny. There are several competing sets of malevolent troublemakers frequenting these boards. They loathe each other and they each create multiple sock puppets to mock each other and annoy innocent thread starters. They think that they alone are the only ones entitled to use the forums as a private message exchange and they do not tolerate anyone they see as being another interloper. They each claim one person alone is responsible for all the trolls and socks. To use a British Expression, ‘I should Cocoa’ are ‘It’s just not Cricket’. I doubt if anyone has the time to create thousands of such cyber entities it is frankly far too much trouble. Several rival sets of troublemakers sure have the time and indeed, are actively engaged in doing so as you read these very words. If you were to waste time and remain awake and observe these boards you would witness that many appear never to be offline are even sleep much. They are constantly writing to their online friends and allies and also constantly attacking their online enemies and many new to the forum threads starters. They are always vile in their comments.
Moderators wakey, wakey, rise and shine. Do your jobs it’s what you volunteered for. Watch out for the serial reporter complaining about people without real foundation. Members report anyone who aimlessly attacks someone’s thread when the thread starter has not been rude are aggressive. If you do nothing then the message boards will deteriorate to a level of the kindergarten and not be worth entering. So report any and every vile comment and attack against a person who is a not being rude and obnoxious and they can be moderated and the boards will benefit. Do not let the malevolent few make malicious reports and go without challenge. I have sown the seeds and await the harvest. I have sown the wind and await the whirlwind. Moderator if you read this take heed of it and act rationally and fairly. See who the serial reporters are and ignore them unless they can justify their complaint




He has been "copying & pasting" this on different posts.
Could anyone explain, in one sentence, what he is trying to say?

He was banned under three different sets of moderators because he posted to deliberately cause issues. Now that there is a new moderator that isn't here very much, he is trying to exact revenge on the forums by creating hundreds to screen names to flood the forums with drivel.

The "Hide" button helps a great deal. Whenever he posts under a new name, I just automatically put him on ignore.



SupremeLaBelle -> RE: The more I know of how to please you, the more I can actually please you (1/22/2016 3:35:38 PM)

I totally agree. I'd rather have a discussion with my sub about what makes them tick than have them quietly go on unsatisfied and disappear one day.



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2]

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875