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Positive Things about this Place - 1/17/2016 7:36:48 AM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline

I just want to say that, I think I have been in this place for, maybe almost 7 years now.

And one positive thing it brought me, is reading about sooo many relationship dynamics that would seem impossible in the regular society, in the regular world, by ordinary people, living ordinary lives, but to hear stories from real life humans in different parts of the world of all their unique relationship dynamic is often awe inspiring to me. It's just people going out there, and being different and living their dream. Living out of the box. And making it work.

I love how, there is just no rules! Anything can work between two people or a bunch of people, as long as there is mutual understanding, open communication and consensual agreement between all parties.

For me, this always brings me motivation to my own life that anything is possible when times are dark. So thank you for all that and all those who have shared their stories and a little glimpse of their personal life.

With all the socks defacing this place with childish threads, hope to have one positivity thread among all the mess.

Feel free to share any positive things that hanging out around Collarspace has brought you!

Post #: 1

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/17/2016 8:16:03 AM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

I met my partner on the other side. Definitely a check in the positive column for me.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 2

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/17/2016 8:44:36 AM

Cell

Posts: 409
Status: offline

Hmm, well it's complicated for me, all my female friends are basically ex-girlfriends, now desperate housewives and so talking about this stuff kinda makes things real weird real fast... and before you know it I'm fending off adulterous booty calls -_- and the few male friends I have that are in to BDSM to some extent are the bad kind of male submissive, just imagine I'm talking about one of those socks, kinda sad and weird

. And so this forum is really the only place I can discuss this kind of stuff! and it's definitely been much more positive than negative. Invaluable really and even though it's slowed down a lot and the socks etc... I'll keep checking in, in some capacity as long as it's here ^_^

< Message edited by Cell -- 1/17/2016 9:04:15 AM >

(in reply to littleladybug)

Post #: 3

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/17/2016 9:39:41 AM

dcnovice

Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline

FR

Excellent, topic Greta! Thanks so much.

I hope you don't mind if I recycle a post from a few years back.

* * *

Collarme has been an important online "home" to me since 2006. I forget, alas, how I found the site, but I came largely as a way to explore my timid interest in BDSM. And I did learn some interesting things about WIITWD. Yet my focus soon shifted to enjoying the community. These days, I may go months without looking at a BDSM thread, yet I check in just about daily to see what my Casual Banter buddies are up to.

A few grateful memories (in no particular order):

-- In 2008, I had my first true M2M BDSM experience. I was soaring, and I needed to share my joy. So I posted in the late, great Arghhhhhhhh thread and basked in my CM friends' understanding and sharing of my exultation.

-- I've met a dozen or so CM members in real life, and some have become special friends. When clinical depression took a major toll on my housekeeping, two CM friends gave up their Sunday afternoon to come help me tackle my apartment.

-- I mentioned once (on the Admit thread, I think) that steep new co-pays meant I had to wait a few days for my next paycheck before I could refill my insulin script. A member I barely knew cmailed me and offered to spot me the funds via PayPal. There aren't words to describe how deeply that touched me. Happily, I was able to repay her soon afterward.

-- All through my Jeopaqrdy! adventure, CM folks were a fountain of enthusiasm and encouragement. One even drove from San Diego to LA to keep me company the day after the taping. We had a great time exploring the Getty Museum.

-- Living in a liberal cocoon in a liberal city, I could go months without encountering different political perspectives. CM regularly connects me with folks on the other side of the aisle--and has reinforced the point that political differences need not preclude amity.

-- A few years ago, a young dom in NY cmailed me out of the blue to say he liked my profile and agreed with my stance on serial commas. That led eventually to his visiting DC for spring break--a marvelous week of bondage and other kinky play. We had a great time and have remained friendly ever since.

-- One long ago night, another Last One to Post regular (then working as a truck driver) was stressed about her daughter's having major surgery the next morning. She really wished she had a Bible handy. The rest of us encouraged her to hit a motel and ask the desk clerk for an extra. In the meantime, I posted a link to an online Bible site and a favorite collect from the Book of Common Prayer. She says it all helped her get through the long, dark night. And yes, a motel clerk did indeed give her a Bible, and the operation went well.

Bottom line: Thank you, CM, for it all!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to Cell)

Post #: 4

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/17/2016 10:13:47 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

I met my first real time Dom here. Also met my first real time sub here. Through them I attended my very first munch.

Reading in the forums taught me so much when I was just a newbie. One important thing I learned was that I don't have to obey or even respect someone just because he/she claims to be a Dominant.

The best thing is that I have made so many friends through CM/CS/CC. While we travel in the spring and fall there are always people we look forward to meeting again.

Although I didn't meet Gary through this site, we were and still are both members here. I plan on staying a member, no matter what.

Socks be damned. Hide works well for them.

Drama I have seen on other forums. I'm much too old to put up with online drama again, and the owner here has made it possible to put it all on hide. I am blessed that I can still read here and locate an upbeat thread such as this one.

There have been a few instances that in private I have talked with and hopefully helped someone on here. Sometimes a person just needs some encouragement. Sometimes they just need to say what is bothering them so they feel better.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 5

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/17/2016 12:01:59 PM

CodeOfSilence

Posts: 235
Status: offline

The platform is oldschool, it's one of the few somewhat still working communities of old that still works that way.
Like you said there are no (strict) rules, just "pressure" from individuals and groups, and some basic moderating for when things really get out of hand.

There are potholes you have to watch out for, nobody is going to hold your hand.
I wish more places still worked like this because this is what the internet in my opinion should be intended for.

Someone here inspired me massively that the lifestyle I'm probably most fit for was possible (I think almost anyone would think it's not doable in the long run) so she has my thanks.
Let's call it extreme or dedicated travelling without turning that travel itself into a product. Can't say I'm there yet, my balls aren't as big as hers apparently but I'm working on it! :-)

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 6

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/17/2016 9:19:10 PM

guardianschattel

Posts: 71
Joined: 1/11/2016
Status: offline

The socks ruin nothing.You can ignore them and you can put them on hide. Certain threads started by socks are directed towards obnoxious people and often contain coded words and references. Carry on enjoying the message boards and if you think it's another sock thread then ignore it. Mind you to be frank it's the socks that write the most threads and quite a number are sensible even when they contain codes.

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 7

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/18/2016 2:58:42 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

I've met wonderful people through CS, including slavemike4u, who I miss greatly. I've enjoyed many enlightening conversations, and many more simply amusing ones. I've visited people in other cities, and laughed with them.

And, I enjoy the forums.

The socks make me sad. Less because the mess and hide finger getting tired, and more because it's a reminder to me that some people are still so incredibly desperate to feel significant to other people in this day and age of easily connecting...

But enough sappy stuff.

I like it here. I'll stay as long as they'll have me.

*smiles*

_____________________________

Nookie
--
https://datingkinky.com

I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to guardianschattel)

Post #: 8

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/18/2016 3:39:28 AM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

The socks ruin everything.
They post nothing but drivel and meaningless waffle and often attack other posters.

I've not seen a single sensible post from a sock. Not even this one.
As for putting them on hide, I don't like seeing pages and pages of hidden entries.
On top of that, I also hate having to hide a bunch of new ones every friggin day.
It spoils the threads. It annoys the regular posters and any new ones.

It's just pathetic. It really is.
The fact that the original person got moderated and they are infantile enough to turn to socks just proves what sort of a moronic douche-bag mofo they really are.
Nothing worse, or boring, as a grown-up throwing his dummy out the pram.

But there again, I expected such a useless response from a sock.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to guardianschattel)

Post #: 9

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/18/2016 4:17:54 AM

Cell

Posts: 409
Status: offline

Just hide them... There aren't actually pages of hidden entries.
It's like popping pimples in a way... Pimples are gross, and yet getting rid of them is oddly satisfying

< Message edited by Cell -- 1/18/2016 4:24:03 AM >

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 10

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/18/2016 4:38:22 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

FD, there's a positive side to the socks. It's a reminder every day to be grateful that you're not some poor, delusional sod who's life is so empty that creating sock puppets is all a person has in life. It's all about perspective.

As to the original, I have to go with Nookie on this one. I have met so many people from this place over the years. Some of the parties that I've gone to have started from ideas right here on the boards just because a bunch of us said, "hey, let's do it" kind of thing. There have been meet ups at conventions or because a fellow forum member was coming to town. Invites to munch groups and/or parties because I'd be in their town. Stories that got told years later like "this isn't the neighborhood for orgy noises after 10:00 PM" and "how many birthday spanks does it really take".

It's been the place where "tap, tap, tap" got a whole new meaning. Threads that were so funny that I would say I was glad I wasn't wearing mascara because I was laughing so hard that the tears ran down my face. A place where I already had friends moving to a new state because we'd read each others posts for years and we still keep in touch. It's where we got the idea to start the Christmas card exchange and more people join in every year now. From it have sprung dinners, and parties, and play between members that are all a part of our memories.

It's been serious discussions. A place where we've mourned fellow posters when they passed away. The meeting place of people that became special memories and talks of special events. Some friends became like family here.

So, all in all, not something stupid socks can destroy. You just consider that dirty laundry that is a temporary stink.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 11

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/18/2016 4:45:19 AM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline

Good point LP.

I really can't imagine being such a miserable hollow person.
But a grouchy old git, I can do with my eyes shut and in my sleep; just ask the family. lol.

I guess it's a bit of light entertainment even if a little annoying.
Nothing this stupid can break up a good crowd of genuinely positive people.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/18/2016 5:30:50 AM

WickedsDesire

Posts: 9362
Joined: 11/4/2015
Status: offline

I have been here since the beginning of time.
I have witnessed a decline.

But then I am nowhere for the majority, only the minority.

Someone sent me a sock from America it was wonderful as was she as a person I wonder what ever became of her.

The purple sock had eyes, and golden tinsel for eyebrows and a golden sparkly hat - a thing of rare entrancing beauty

< Message edited by WickedsDesire -- 1/18/2016 5:31:22 AM >

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 13

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/18/2016 5:41:32 AM

threadthief

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/18/2016
Status: offline

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS?

(in reply to Greta75)

Post #: 14

RE: Positive Things about this Place - 1/18/2016 10:20:46 AM

waltonsmountain

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/18/2016
Status: offline

I have been here under its two trade names since 2001. I have yet to discover anything positive about this website!

(in reply to threadthief)

Post #: 15

RE: Positive Things about this Place! What exactly are ... - 1/20/2016 5:53:24 AM

sambowogambo

Posts: 40
Joined: 10/30/2014
Status: offline

What I write here many malevolent personalities will call mumbo jumbo. That is a term concocted by the former Bwana, white colonial rulers of my beloved country, South Africa. We served two masters, one the British were firm yet fair, and they governed well. The other, the Dutch Afrikaner were racist genocidists and blatant segregationists, just like the religious bigots of the USA southern states. Now we rule ourselves despite some blatantly corrupt opportunist politicians often repeating the Afrikaner methods.
This will fall upon deaf ears and the three wise monkeys will be joined by the three mischievous monkeys. I fully realize that my appeal will be vilified by antagonists and that the Moderators will do absolutely nothing whatsoever in the form of censure to the perpetrators. Most probably the messenger relaying the true facts will be victimized and penalized and the perpetrators be permitted to continue their vile rhetoric. This has happened before when the website owners placed out advertisements for moderators and the advertisements made it clear that fairness and impartiality were necessary. They hired a number of individuals who collectively conspired to cause multiple problems for the forums and the website. They were partisan and never moderated the forums in any fair and impartial manner. If a person disagreed with something the moderators supported are believed then that person was barred permanently from the message boards. That was contrary to the websites policies but the moderators concerned breached website protocols frequently.No warning, no appeal. Also they found that their account could not be accessed by others and at times even themselves. Many complained to the management who did nothing for several years until they realized that certain people were actually contributing to the websites ill reputation and profit loss. They then took action. The criminal element within collarspace was removed from office. They were replaced by new moderators. These new ones are fairer but also often very ineffective. They fail to realize that the self same group of malevolent individuals who include the former moderators and employees are the self same ones who frequently click onto the report button and complain about mostly innocent threads. These same malevolent individuals conspire daily to cause trouble in the forums. The accuse many of being trolls and sock puppets, few they accuse actually are such. Any sock puppets that exist do so because of the behaviour of those malevolent individuals. In order to try to justify their otherwise suspect behaviour they use terms like troll and sock to justify the vile and obnoxious comment attacks upon people.
The TOS are guidelines relating to online user conduct. They are written legalize that cannot really be enforced. Owners, employees, moderators, and members regularly ignore the TOS but only a minority are penalized for doing so and this signifies selected victimization of certain individuals and the majority are permitted to continue with the bullying, intimidation and victimization without censure.
These forums are visited 24/7/365 by people from around the world. They each come from different cultures that exhibit different attitudes and toleration levels to anyone who does not think and act likes them. The reality is we are all from diverse backgrounds. We have been shaped by our environment. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. We are never all going to agree with all topics on the forums but we must each respect other people’s perspectives even if they are blatantly wrong. We, ourselves, can be wrong at times and therefore should comprehend that being wrong is a human trait failing. Some of us are good at certain things and bad at others. Nobody excels at everything. Many are intolerant of spelling, punctuation and grammar mistakes, but may themselves be inadequate when it comes to Arithmetic alone mathematics. How quick we all are to condemn others for failings we may share. None of us are perfect because like infinity perfection cannot be attained, we can only aspire to attain. Politics and Religion conspire to divide people so we are easier to control and manipulate. We are lied to daily but it is dressed as truth but has no foundation and cannot stand up to inquisitive scrutiny. There are several competing sets of malevolent troublemakers frequenting these boards. They loathe each other and they each create multiple sock puppets to mock each other and annoy innocent thread starters. They think that they alone are the only ones entitled to use the forums as a private message exchange and they do not tolerate anyone they see as being another interloper. They each claim one person alone is responsible for all the trolls and socks. To use a British Expression, ‘I should Cocoa’ are ‘It’s just not Cricket’. I doubt if anyone has the time to create thousands of such cyber entities it is frankly far too much trouble. Several rival sets of troublemakers sure have the time and indeed, are actively engaged in doing so as you read these very words. If you were to waste time and remain awake and observe these boards you would witness that many appear never to be offline are even sleep much. They are constantly writing to their online friends and allies and also constantly attacking their online enemies and many new to the forum threads starters. They are always vile in their comments.
Moderators wakey, wakey, rise and shine. Do your jobs it’s what you volunteered for. Watch out for the serial reporter complaining about people without real foundation. Members report anyone who aimlessly attacks someone’s thread when the thread starter has not been rude are aggressive. If you do nothing then the message boards will deteriorate to a level of the kindergarten and not be worth entering. So report any and every vile comment and attack against a person who is a not being rude and obnoxious and they can be moderated and the boards will benefit. Do not let the malevolent few make malicious reports and go without challenge. I have sown the seeds and await the harvest. I have sown the wind and await the whirlwind. Moderator if you read this take heed of it and act rationally and fairly. See who the serial reporters are and ignore them unless they can justify their complaint

(in reply to waltonsmountain)

Post #: 16

RE: Positive Things about this Place! What exactly are ... - 1/22/2016 3:32:10 AM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

I think this place is great. On the other side I've gotten a few great slaves, so did hubby. Over here, I've met great people. So over all, awesome.
I just ignore the trolls

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to sambowogambo)

Post #: 17

RE: Positive Things about this Place! What exactly are ... - 1/22/2016 5:04:27 AM

Cinnamongirl67

Posts: 854
Status: offline

I am a sock who put on a boot.
Freedom, entertainment and sass.

_____________________________

Balanced Chakra
http://youtu.be/Gl9AGlbe3YU

(in reply to TNDommeK)

Post #: 18

RE: Positive Things about this Place! What exactly are ... - 2/1/2016 6:58:05 AM

KorpsMariniers

Posts: 25
Joined: 2/1/2016
Status: offline

That Sambo guy sure knows his stuff and makes valid points.What a shame nobody actually gives a damn and will carry on being assholes regardless, LOL.

(in reply to Cinnamongirl67)

Post #: 19

RE: Positive Things about this Place! What exactly are ... - 2/1/2016 8:40:26 AM

Jokerr

Posts: 65
Joined: 1/2/2016
Status: offline

Yes I must admit this website has a top notch sock puppet team doing 2 hour shifts around the clock. We are here to counter the revolutionaries and scammers that were once moderators and employees.

(in reply to KorpsMariniers)

Post #: 20

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