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RE: Men! - 1/25/2016 10:46:51 AM

kdsub

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Wrong man... you need a mature man with experience that has learned to deal with the petty aggravations in life. You should not need to help them with their problems... they should help you.

Butch

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RE: Men! - 1/25/2016 10:54:17 AM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

By way of an answer - this on my Facebook page this morning:

'If a woman asks if she looks fat, it's not enough to say "no". You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary.'

Whatever you do, do not utter aloud the words Haagen Dazs, chocolate, age and/or gym.
Noooooooooooooo. Do not.
F'realz

Some thing I only needed to learn once :-)

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Post #: 22

RE: Men! - 1/25/2016 11:08:36 AM

LadyPact

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I keep writing this and deleting it.

Yes, in most cases, if somebody is carrying over their work stress to home, it would seem like the automatic answer is just tell your partner. However, there are a lot of instances where MP can't do that because that 'problem at work' somehow involves his security clearance, so he can't tell me squat. I can be told general things such as 'person X did this incredibly stupid thing,' so now he has to deal with xyz. (There have been some amazingly stupid things over the years. Some of which most people would have trouble believing.)

This really wouldn't work for a lot of people but I guess I'm just used to it after all of these years.

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RE: Men! - 1/25/2016 11:21:07 AM

mousekabob

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LP, as you know, the same goes for us as well. We can tell each other generalizations but that's it. Usually we just say "meh...it's work", nod to each other, understanding exactly what that means, ask if there is anything we can do for reach other and just let it be. It's life and life happens.

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RE: Men! - 1/26/2016 6:44:17 PM

MercTech

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I always translated "Do you think I'm fat?" to really mean "Tell me you think I"m attractive. Ego boost needed."

I can see that being needed. When the average women's clothing size is 14 but magazines top out at size 5 models; unrealistic standards.
________________________________

Work mind set, play mind set, and home mind set are NOT the same any there are many times you just don't want to mix them. A major stressor in one area of life can make the petty irritations in other areas much more stressful. This can be where you get the anger over little shit and you have to dig to find the big shit that has been repressed because there isn't an effin' thing that can be done about it.

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RE: Men! - 1/27/2016 2:31:05 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

I always translated "Do you think I'm fat?" to really mean "Tell me you think I"m attractive. Ego boost needed."

I can see that being needed. When the average women's clothing size is 14 but magazines top out at size 5 models; unrealistic standards.

Seconded. And I'll freely admit that I have my needs in that regard on occasion. Also, looking at it entirely selfishly: who wants a partner who isn't happy with the way they look? People who believe they're sexy are generally more fun in the sack, I've found.

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RE: Men! - 1/27/2016 3:28:30 PM

NookieNotes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

I always translated "Do you think I'm fat?" to really mean "Tell me you think I"m attractive. Ego boost needed."

I can see that being needed. When the average women's clothing size is 14 but magazines top out at size 5 models; unrealistic standards.

Seconded. And I'll freely admit that I have my needs in that regard on occasion. Also, looking at it entirely selfishly: who wants a partner who isn't happy with the way they look? People who believe they're sexy are generally more fun in the sack, I've found.

I find it's easier to get those compliments by sending sexy photos... Or simply saying, "Tell me something nice, please," or "shower me with compliments all day."

But, I realize I'm not the norm in that. LOL!

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RE: Men! - 1/27/2016 3:50:21 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

I find it's easier to get those compliments by sending sexy photos... Or simply saying, "Tell me something nice, please," or "shower me with compliments all day."

But, I realize I'm not the norm in that. LOL!

You're not the norm in being upfront about it, NN. But you most definitely *are* the norm in the way partners just are, in my experience.

Gawd. People can be so severe about this stuff. *Everybody* has a hang up about his or her attractiveness. The few people I've met who are 'physical perfection' have had hang ups about whether or not people like their personalities.

Everybody needs a bit of soothing, now and again.

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RE: Men! - 1/28/2016 1:55:55 AM

NookieNotes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

I find it's easier to get those compliments by sending sexy photos... Or simply saying, "Tell me something nice, please," or "shower me with compliments all day."

But, I realize I'm not the norm in that. LOL!

You're not the norm in being upfront about it, NN. But you most definitely *are* the norm in the way partners just are, in my experience.

Gawd. People can be so severe about this stuff. *Everybody* has a hang up about his or her attractiveness. The few people I've met who are 'physical perfection' have had hang ups about whether or not people like their personalities.

Everybody needs a bit of soothing, now and again.

Exactly so. So I don't worry about it. I can even say, "I'm having a fat day, and I need to feel sexy. Tell me hot and dirty things you want to do to me..."

Works every time!

LOL!

Unfortunately, I also have hang-ups about my personality now and again, and pretty much everything else. I get my dose of "Get 'em girl!" and continue on.

*smiles*

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Post #: 29

RE: Men! - 1/31/2016 10:54:03 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mousekabob

I've never understood why women or anyone really, asks another if they are fat. You either are or you are not and if you are, you probably already know you are. I've never once asked someone if I was fat. I already know I am. All I have to do is try on my pants from a couple of years ago to know I am. Not rocket science.

To ask someone else if you are fat is setting yourself up for disappointment, sadness, depression, kind of like self torment. If that's your thing though...go for it.

But it's not straight forward. Men in my country thinks Beyonce is fat. And they will definitely think Serena Williams is obese. Xena the warrior princess also seen as overweight. So for me, I always want to know what is each individual men fat-o-meter. It's something fascinating to me, where is the fat line for different men. And it's very different men to men.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 1/31/2016 10:55:35 PM >

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RE: Men! - 1/31/2016 10:58:59 PM

Greta75

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

Wrong man... you need a mature man with experience that has learned to deal with the petty aggravations in life. You should not need to help them with their problems... they should help you.

Butch

To find a man in my age group, that is that mature is just asking for fairytales ha! Although I agree with you, I prefer a man who I don't have to behave like his mother.

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