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How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 8:14:29 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		How do you learn WIITWD?
 
Earlier this week, I noticed someone made a comment about watching those who wield floggers are not necessarily using them safely; lots of potential kidney damage going on out there!  I’ve seen it too.
 
Here in Colorado, we have several groups that offer ‘classes’ (meetings, really) for both submissive/slave/bottoms and Dom/Master/Tops, as well.  These meetings are often Q & A type things; perhaps a topic is chosen…sometimes a demo is offered.  But…people ARE offered a venue in which to learn.  Most Dom/mes take ‘giving back’ to the community a serious thing and encourage newbies to seek them out for answers and/or instruction.
 
The issue in my mind is…I’ve seen too many take up a paddle or a flogger (or worse) without reading a thing about safety, without talking to a soul about ‘how it’s done’…  “Hell, it looks so easy; anybody can flog a back!”  Well, what about those kidneys?  What about wrapping?  What about not removing an eye?  …merely avoiding one’s crack?  Or perhaps not removing skin on a penis or clit?  It is NOT as easy as it looks.  What you use to flog, how you warm a body up, where ‘heavy’ is okay…all these things (and more) are important to learn before seriously beating a person.
 
This would be ONE reason I enjoy clubs…if only for the education! 
 
How ‘bout you?  I'd like to hear your thoughts...
beverly
 
PS, 'Flogging' was an example.  Please insert interrogation, mind-f*ck, humiliation, control, bondage, suspension, needles…whatever it IS that you do! 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 8:29:54 AM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline 		WIITWD .. I've seen this a few times . someone told me what it meant . I am still not sure I have i down pat and feel like a complete DOHHHH on some of these jargons used .. can someone tell me what in the living hell WIITWD means

with experience comes wisdom here Bearlee . I agree with learning from otehrs . thats what I do . if I don't know a technique or a piece of equipment I will talk to someone who might .... I do it often as I want to be somewhat skilled before I do something that might be detrimental . where I am we don't have clubs . I have to travel almost 1.5 hours to get to paddles which is the only place around here I know that I can go ... some BDSM groups will hold play parties and demonstartions but I have yet to find those either ... so I go to Master or Doms or Dommes who do know what it is I am looking to learn

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 8:35:05 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		edited

I learn about it through my interactions with my Dom at this point

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/19/2006 8:36:11 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 8:36:30 AM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		wow.. you mean you DONT just learn it through osmosis??

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

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RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 8:40:01 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JessieMe

wow.. you mean you DONT just learn it through osmosis??


At first I learned through reading and talking about it exclusively...smiles, I moved on to more advanced lessons

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 8:52:33 AM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		I am/was like you with some of the terms used on here,the one you mentioned in your post I 'googled' it and came up with;

http://www.sensuoussadie.com/resources/bdsmdictionary.htm

(in reply to Tamerofwild1s)
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RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 9:21:35 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Pretty much I learn about the physical skills int he typical ways- through friends and classes.

Unfortunately, learning how to be a good communicator tends to be far more difficult for people to learn than how to be a good flogger.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 9:53:39 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Aaaahhhhhhhhh... good point, LA.  And it does seem that it's the good communicators who are ALSO those who seem most interested in how to wield tools properly, huh? 
 
The problem I see is the one someone mentioned on another post; where people are getting their kidneys flogged by people who think 'anybody can flog a body'.  While "book learnin'" surely does not take the place of experience and personal training...there ARE books on 'how to do' just about anything; including flogging, for example.
 
I'm just curious if people view WIITWD (What It Is That We Do) important enough to learn about it before they put it to use?  I really do think some do not...and it seems a good idea to encourage people to give it a try before they hurt someobody.  IMHO

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 10:48:16 AM   
MrrPete


Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		When I was new to BDSM I did a LOT of observing AND going to classes or seminars. But I'm comfortable enough with my own abilities to know WHEN I need a class or I can wing it on my own.

1. I will never pick up a singletail to use on someone else period. I don't have the skill to learn - yes I've tried.

2. I've been doing knife play for 2 years before I took a class at Tribal Fire this year. I learned nothing about safety that I wasn't doing already. I did learn how to cut clothes off a sub w/o cutting them or even touch the blade to their skin.

Knives make for great mind fucks [wicked evil grin] I have one knife that is so dull [on purpose] It has trouble cutting through warm butter. Great mind fuck!



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Awrabest,

Mr. Pete

Boycott Citgo

(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 10:51:09 AM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrrPete

Knives make for great mind fucks [wicked evil grin] I have one knife that is so dull [on purpose] It has trouble cutting through warm butter. Great mind fuck!




dull knives do nothing for me.

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to MrrPete)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 11:29:56 AM   
DoctorDubious


Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

How do you learn WIITWD?
 



Dear Bearlee, and all....

I learned by blunder, experimentation, boldness, silliness, adventure, and by making almost every mistake that's possible.

After crazy lonely fabulous uneducated teenage years,
my 20's were worse, though by then I knew
about perverted books and weird mags from europe.
The mistakes were worse, though.

Since then, this artsyfartsyoldgoat has been refining and
simplifying... exploring more different sensations
but fewer and fewer and fewer really extreme ones.

I've never been to a class,
but they sound like a hilarious and useful concept.

I'm glad the doms in your community
want to "pay back" a little...

and... my experience as a marketer is that seminars
are the very finest prospecting and recruiting tool
and work like a hot damn in selling unusual services.

DD


(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 12:30:50 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		hmmmmmmmm... our Doctor is a little tongue in cheek?

(in reply to DoctorDubious)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 12:45:17 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		I learn from interaction with my submissive.  There is always something to be learned, even if the action or experiment in question is something I've done 100 times before.

I learn from others who I meet at dungeon parties or munches or similar gatherings.  I learn from watching a well done scene, even if the actions or the players are not specifically to my taste.  I learn more from watching scenes that don't go well.

I learn from great teachers through classes, seminars and books.  Midori through her writings and classes taught me the basics of shibari, and a tremendous sense of love and respect for the people we meet in the scene.  A number of great presenters over the years taught me about different aspects of WIIWD (which means, Tamer "W hat it is we do").  Philip Miller taught me that you aren't doing it right if you aren't having fun.

I even learn from reading the boards at CollarMe.  Although 99% of what I learn is "don't write/act/behave like .... THAT".

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to Bearlee)
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RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 12:51:39 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		 When the subject of public play and local community involvement comes up classes and seminars don't get mentioned enough. Every weekend somewhere in LA a group is offering a class. Every so often there are regional conventions provided a few days of classes on a variety of topics.

For example at this year's Folsom Fringe you can go and get "hands on" training on subjects such as mummification, single tails, wax play, and strap-ons. You can also attend seminars regarding scene negotiation, and romance. NCSF presentation "Life & Death Planing, concerns pragmatic issues regarding relationships.

The entire seminar matrix for 2006 can be viewed: http://www.rawbw.com/~eal/ClassMatrix.htm

Going to these events is not as scary as you might think. If you have the opportunity, take advantage and go.

As much fun as it is to play, learning lasts longer.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 7/19/2006 1:21:48 PM >

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 1:05:16 PM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

I am/was like you with some of the terms used on here,the one you mentioned in your post I 'googled' it and came up with;

http://www.sensuoussadie.com/resources/bdsmdictionary.htm


Thank you ,,, I thought thats whatit was but was unsure and instead of looking dumd for not knowing I chose to stand back and wait till being further educated . now I am

_____________________________

A building get torched. All that is left is ashes. I used to think that it is true about everything - family, friends, feelings - but now I know that sometimes if love proves real, and two people are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart ~

(in reply to Aneirin)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 1:05:21 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		ahhhhhhh... Thank you Emperor!  I love to hear things like that!
 
Exactly Merc, Sir... they're fun as hell, too!  I can hardly wait for this year's Thunder up in Denver.  Lots of similar stuff as in your neck of the world.  Midori has often been there, too.  I think she just might be the brightest woman I've met in a long, long time.  Have you heard her speak about her Primal-Play?  WOW!
 
Here's a link to the schedual this year at Thunder:  

http://www.thunderinthemountains.com/schedule.htm

 
Anybody from the boards going?    huh huh huh?

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 3:17:01 PM   
DoctorDubious


Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bearlee

hmmmmmmmm... our Doctor is a little tongue in cheek?


Dear Bearlee, and all...

No, I wouldn't say it was a little tongue in cheek.


DD 
a smartass old goat since I was just a kid.

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 7:55:42 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I was fortunate when I got started.  I was referred to a 'gathering' that occurred about once a month on a Saturday at a local suburban hotel.  During the day there would be demonstrations and panel discussions (several tracks of each) and at night a play party.  I was able to see and learn things even prior to having my first partner.  From there, it was pretty straightforward.  As I began collecting various types of toys I could gauge from the materials used what effect they would have.

Between that and the reading that I have done over the last umpteen years, it was always apparent in private or group settings that I was very responsible about my 'play' and was sometimes called upon to demonstrate, which was nice.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Bearlee)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 8:10:28 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		DD...................Sir,
 
Okay, I'm sure:  "big tongue, big hands, big feet; right?"
 
<giggles wildly>

(in reply to DoctorDubious)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How do you learn WIITWD? - 7/19/2006 8:12:30 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Neat, Jeff.  It's like 'learning never quits"?  I like that in a person...

(in reply to mstrjx)
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