Safe word…

Safe word… (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

Master96 -> Safe word… (7/19/2006 10:42:05 AM)
I think the best one is to be: banana! Master96,

sub4hire -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 10:45:45 AM)
I have no safe word, the look on my face at any given time is enough for him to stop. He knows my expressions. What happens when you are gagged and cannot utter your safe word? What then? What precautions are in affect?

Master96 -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 10:48:21 AM)
you have a point there...

mistoferin -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 10:51:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Master96 you have a point there... For the times when you can verbalize that there is a problem...usually straightforward communication works best....ie: I have a cramp....or my hands are numb....I need to stop because there is _____ problem. For the times when you can't verbalize....gagged...subspace....the Dominant had better be paying attention to all of the non-verbal cues.

LadyHugs -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 10:52:13 AM)
Dear sub4hire, Ladies and Gentlemen; If oral safe words/code words are not possible, e.g. gagged, mute., I do recommend dropping an item, such as keys, hanky, balls or something to attract the attention of the dominant and or others. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

LotusSong -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 10:54:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub4hire I have no safe word, the look on my face at any given time is enough for him to stop. He knows my expressions. What happens when you are gagged and cannot utter your safe word? What then? What precautions are in affect? Have a spotter. One of my Domme friends had a hearing problem. The sub she was spanking gave his safe word but she was "in her zone" and with her hearing problem. I stepped in and touched her shoulder and advised her he had worded.

mistoferin -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 10:56:07 AM)
Respectfully LadyHugs, I have always wondered about those who use this technique. How does a Dominant know that a sub who has been given a hanky is safewording if they drop it...or if they have simply crossed the line into subspace and could no longer physically hold it or mentally remember to? Instead of having an object get the attention of the Top...shouldn't the Top's attention always be finely focused on all the reactions of the bottom?

juliaoceania -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 11:02:28 AM)
I think safewords are handy if you need to stop an activity without going into deep explanation. I may not be able to articulate "Daddy, I feel nauseous and think I might pass out if we do not stop now".. It is much easier to say "red", and then he can ask me what happened after he stopped. I also tell him when things are uncomfortable. He pays attention to my face too. The time I called colors I was blindfolded and he couldn't see into my eyes. I was bound so I couldn't gesture to him... so paying attention to the facial expressions isn't always going to work for people either. It is called common sense, sometimes having a safeword helps, sometimes it doesn't, but the point is that the top looks out for the saftey of the bottom in many ways, not just one. I see a safeword as applying the brakes hard, instead coming to a gentle stop. But this is just my opinion.

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 11:23:47 AM)
To me, this whole question is really about nothing. I don't use safe words, but if anyone gave me the idea, said, motioned or hinted at "stop" I would. Sane Doms would, so the question becomes one of does having the ability to read the sub preclude her being able to tell the Dom to stop. What is wrong with having both things going on? What happens if you are reading her as green, yet she screams red? No biggie, you stop and fuck her for awhile until she feels better.

enthralled -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 11:27:23 AM)
Knowing my luck, if I did have a dominant, he'd write my safeword on a 4"x6" postcard, with a 12point font, in German, and paste it on the wall ten feet in front of the cross I'm on ..... LOL ~enthralled

TNstepsout -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 11:34:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Master96 I think the best one is to be: banana! Master96, I thought a sadist's favorite safe word was "MORE"

darkinshadows -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 11:37:04 AM)
Does not use one. Peace and Rapture

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 11:40:16 AM)
I think the issues people have put around the use of a safeword is complicated enough not to have to think of some nonsensical word when you're in the middle of a crisis or serious immediate attention situation. http://www.collarchat.com/m_355604/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#355604 Safewords are NOT for novices! http://www.collarchat.com/m_232414/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#232414 safewords? http://www.collarchat.com/m_228130/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#228130 safeword http://www.collarchat.com/m_137937/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#137937 Forcing your sub to safeword? http://www.collarchat.com/m_131432/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#131432 Safe words http://www.collarchat.com/m_93603/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#93603 Overuse of a safeword? http://www.collarchat.com/m_69981/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#69981 safewords not allowed? http://www.collarchat.com/m_14335/mpage_1/key_safeword/tm.htm#14335 should a slave in training be allowed safewords?

yourMissTress -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 11:49:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: enthralled Knowing my luck, if I did have a dominant, he'd write my safeword on a 4"x6" postcard, with a 12point font, in German, and paste it on the wall ten feet in front of the cross I'm on ..... LOL ~enthralled And you would love it! My girl doesn't have a safeword with Me. When playing with a new play mate I ask them if they have a safeword they are comfortable with, and if so that's it, otherwise it's "yellow" for I need a minute and "red" for stop. That being said, in 15+ years I've only had 2 people say yellow, and none have said red. I believe it's because I communicate openly during play with people that I'm unfamiliar with. I have a scale that I use with them to let me know what their tolerance level is and where they are on the scale during play. Safewords are a good idea for people that are new to each other. However, they are only as good as the people using them. The bottom has to use it and the top has to honor it.

enthralled -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 11:56:54 AM)
lmao .... You know me too well Ma'am! [8D] ~enthralled

darkinshadows -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 11:59:59 AM)
quote: Safewords are a good idea for people that are new to each other. However, they are only as good as the people using them. The bottom has to use it and the top has to honor it. If you have to use a safeword, IMO - You shouldnt be scening in the first place. Peace and Rapture

sub4hire -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 12:07:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darkinshadows If you have to use a safeword, IMO - You shouldnt be scening in the first place. Peace and Rapture I don't necessarily agree Angel. Most who find the lifestyle want to go out and play. They are on a hormonal rush..there is no common sense coming into play at all. You can try and tell them to go slow and be safe, yet 9 times out of 10 they are not going to listen. It isn't like you and I. They aren't with partners they've been with for year's. They are with partners who stick around for the scene then at times they never see them again. If you have little to no common sense and you want to play you need a safeword. If you don't know your partner well enough you need a safeword. Safewords make people feel as though they have power, even though as someone stated they really have none. The top can choose to ignore it. Not the best idea in the world but it does happen. You also have those bottoms who try to control the scene by using their safewords. Though to make the statement "You shouldnt be scening in the first place." At what point do you have a right to scene? At what point do you start to gain knowledge over what you like verses what you dislike?

juliaoceania -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 12:09:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darkinshadows quote: Safewords are a good idea for people that are new to each other. However, they are only as good as the people using them. The bottom has to use it and the top has to honor it. If you have to use a safeword, IMO - You shouldnt be scening in the first place. Peace and Rapture Could I ask what that opinion is based upon since it is kinda inflammatory? Not that I have ever cared if others think I should indulge my sexuality or not. Im sure there are plenty that would disapprove of many of the things I do[:D]

mistoferin -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 12:14:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: darkinshadows If you have to use a safeword, IMO - You shouldnt be scening in the first place. Peace and Rapture Personally, I think that safewords are stupid, useless....I even think they can be dangerous....but gosh dark...you had to know that this statement was going to go over about as well as a fart in church....lol. edited to add....even with the big IMO !!!![;)]

juliaoceania -> RE: Safe word… (7/19/2006 12:20:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sub4hire quote: ORIGINAL: darkinshadows If you have to use a safeword, IMO - You shouldnt be scening in the first place. Peace and Rapture I don't necessarily agree Angel. Most who find the lifestyle want to go out and play. They are on a hormonal rush..there is no common sense coming into play at all. You can try and tell them to go slow and be safe, yet 9 times out of 10 they are not going to listen. It isn't like you and I. They aren't with partners they've been with for year's. They are with partners who stick around for the scene then at times they never see them again. If you have little to no common sense and you want to play you need a safeword. If you don't know your partner well enough you need a safeword. Safewords make people feel as though they have power, even though as someone stated they really have none. The top can choose to ignore it. Not the best idea in the world but it does happen. You also have those bottoms who try to control the scene by using their safewords. Though to make the statement "You shouldnt be scening in the first place." At what point do you have a right to scene? At what point do you start to gain knowledge over what you like verses what you dislike? At what point do people stop inflicting their worldview on others as hormonal or lacking common sense because they do things differently. Im new to my partner, no sin in that, and I do not lack common sense whatsoever. Im following his wishes with the safeword thing to begin with, and I have never found him to be lacking in anyway, and he is an experienced top/Dom, has been doing WIITWD for several years. I think this judgmentalness over how a dom runs their scene borders on saying they are not really a dom to begin with But that is just my opinion

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875