RE: a question.. (Full Version)

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newatdis -> RE: a question.. (2/10/2016 2:14:53 PM)

Lol, yes, that must be what it means. I understand completely where you are coming from. And I took it as a person that has empathy, that is a good trait.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cinnamongirl67

Great it went through twice that means I'm extra awesome. Ha.
Thank you for the very kind compliment. I truly do appreciate it.
I said what I said, because that time a long tmr ago I was going through a very terrible time and even at the age of around 42ish I didn't understand why people were being so cruel.
That's in the past, but this is an interesting place too, with some really interesting people. I've learned a lot here.
Thanks again!




Kana -> RE: a question.. (2/10/2016 2:21:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis

As you know I am new. It was established before the slave arrived at my house that I was Master and she was slave. To do what I want with her, but she might resist at first. I knew she started her day at 5 AM. By the time she got to my State, and my city it's 11 PM at night. She commented about getting lost, being tired. Should I have just done the things I read about anyway? Without consideration as to her day? I am being dead serious. Granted I had a messed up idea about the whole thing. I only starting googling it a couple days before she got here (lol) and read mostly stories and experiences. Some twisted stuff. The ironic thing here is, I bought a book on Ebay "Doms guide to Submissive training"...and if I knew, I could have followed it to the T. But the book didn't arrive until yesterday and all this started Friday.

Nothing personal, and I'm really not trying to be a jerk so I hope this doesn't come off that way, but were I a slave, I'd have huge issues with this.
In part because I find rigid adherence to a book to be limiting, unoriginal, and downright frightening to be blunt.
But mostly because the simple lack of insight into realizing that a person is being dealt with and that meetings are fragile things, as is slave trust, is kinda scary.


Best feedback I can give is to throw away the book and be yourself.
If it doesn't work with the first slave you meet keep sifting till you find the one that fits.
Not the book. Not some generic cookie cutter silliness.
A slave that fits you. Your life. Your likes. Your needs. Your desires and dreams.



newatdis -> RE: a question.. (2/10/2016 2:32:06 PM)

"Best feedback I can give is to throw away the book and be yourself." Spot on and I was anything but.

Not a Jerk at all, thank you for the advice.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis

As you know I am new. It was established before the slave arrived at my house that I was Master and she was slave. To do what I want with her, but she might resist at first. I knew she started her day at 5 AM. By the time she got to my State, and my city it's 11 PM at night. She commented about getting lost, being tired. Should I have just done the things I read about anyway? Without consideration as to her day? I am being dead serious. Granted I had a messed up idea about the whole thing. I only starting googling it a couple days before she got here (lol) and read mostly stories and experiences. Some twisted stuff. The ironic thing here is, I bought a book on Ebay "Doms guide to Submissive training"...and if I knew, I could have followed it to the T. But the book didn't arrive until yesterday and all this started Friday.

Nothing personal, and I'm really not trying to be a jerk so I hope this doesn't come off that way, but were I a slave, I'd have huge issues with this.
In part because I find rigid adherence to a book to be limiting, unoriginal, and downright frightening to be blunt.
But mostly because the simple lack of insight into realizing that a person is being dealt with and that meetings are fragile things, as is slave trust, is kinda scary.


Best feedback I can give is to throw away the book and be yourself.
If it doesn't work with the first slave you meet keep sifting till you find the one that fits.
Not the book. Not some generic cookie cutter silliness.
A slave that fits you. Your life. Your likes. Your needs. Your desires and dreams.




newatdis -> RE: a question.. (2/10/2016 3:59:11 PM)

If I am going to have to explain my every thought in detail this will never end. Referring to comments that are made. I was making the point that I only had an idea of master/slave based on the twisted stuff I read online, mostly personal experiences, and what she did tell me. But, I was really clueless, and I was trying to play the part. If she wanted to be treated like a slave, I was going to try to give her that. And the book would have helped. If, that was what she really wanted. I tried to talk to her, it was like talking to a mouse. Looking back I guess I should have said "speak up"...laughing here. And not "what, I can't hear you" someone tells me they can't hear me. I'm getting louder without being told. Can't have a conversation with a mouse.

Kana's comment about "just be yourself" really hit home. Because I was already thinking along those lines and I know I was not being myself.

The reason for the IDGAF attitude today? I realized it was never about me, if it was she would have just met me, and went from there. Not try to make me into someone I am not. Because I am NOT hitting a woman to cause extreme pain. Even if that's what she wants. I guess she realized that real fast when I went to smack her ass with my left hand, hit her hip with force and kept apologizing, and felt bad about it. Even if she kept saying, you didn't hurt me, after she let out an owwww at the time. And that is not a knock to whoever reads this and what you might be into. To each their own.



newatdis -> RE: a question.. (2/10/2016 4:37:52 PM)

And if you are on POF. Which has been suggested, It just goes along with all the other dating sites. If you should meet someone and really connect with them. Don't wait until a couple days before you meet to share your real motives, kinky desires, whatever. That's some f***ed up s**t. I have already made a connection with who I thought she was. Be real and put that out there right away, and let the chips fall where they might.

You know what one of the first things I tell a woman on POF? That I like (lets call it 6:40 seeing how I don't yet know all the rules) and if you have a problem with that lets just stop now.

Back to that honesty thing I guess.



newatdis -> RE: a question.. (2/11/2016 7:25:42 AM)

I understand (being serious about your TL) and it's all good. Wasn't trying to overstep any boundaries (even if I have always tested limits placed upon myself) You have actually helped me to realize some things. Thanks.

(the person this is directed to, knows)



newatdis -> RE: a question.. (2/11/2016 7:45:48 AM)

Also, as far as I am concerned, this thread is dead. I am seeking information about this lifestyle (earlier I googled, what is a switch) But, I will learn what I can on my own before asking any questions.



LadyPact -> RE: a question.. (2/11/2016 7:56:11 AM)

All good. Thanks for understanding.

The book thing? Yeah. That part isn't about learning to BE a Dom or any of that stuff. It does help with things like terminology, background info, and things like that. It's just easy access to stuff like what is a switch, what's that brain chemistry thing that I mentioned earlier, even how to make a flogger. If nothing else, it can turn into interesting reading. Can also help you find where your own limits are and what you're interested in.



newatdis -> RE: a question.. (2/11/2016 8:33:10 AM)

I completely get everything you are saying. And trust me, I have been thinking about "what's that brain chemistry thing that I mentioned earlier". I pretty much have a memory like an Elelephant (if it is something that I wish to retain) I have also given a lot of thought to the different degrees of it all. meaning, a Masochist might be a level 8, and a Sadist level 3..so, they are not going to be a good match. Makes sense but how was I to know.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

All good. Thanks for understanding.

The book thing? Yeah. That part isn't about learning to BE a Dom or any of that stuff. It does help with things like terminology, background info, and things like that. It's just easy access to stuff like what is a switch, what's that brain chemistry thing that I mentioned earlier, even how to make a flogger. If nothing else, it can turn into interesting reading. Can also help you find where your own limits are and what you're interested in.





LadyPact -> RE: a question.. (2/11/2016 8:37:38 AM)

Just an analogy. Don't know if it would work for you or not.

If you were going to take a trip to a place like Japan, would you read something about it before you went? It's kind of like that. Give you an idea of what terms spring up or what entertainment you might encounter. At least a head start.



newatdis -> RE: a question.. (2/11/2016 8:41:45 AM)

Absolutely, I read extensively about Venezuela before I went. I also read a lot before meeting the girl, the couple days before. Unfortunately, I read things that gave me the wrong ideas.


Also, are you trying to make it known that I was a good boy, and listened to your request? That just makes me want to push the envelope. Just kidding, and it is about respect to me.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Just an analogy. Don't know if it would work for you or not.

If you were going to take a trip to a place like Japan, would you read something about it before you went? It's kind of like that. Give you an idea of what terms spring up or what entertainment you might encounter. At least a head start.





LadyPact -> RE: a question.. (2/11/2016 8:50:20 AM)

Nah, 'cause if you did it again, I'd just delete it unread. I do that with about 99% of the mail I receive from people I don't know. Nothing personal. Just the way I do things.



newatdis -> RE: a question.. (2/11/2016 9:02:08 AM)

Like I said, it is all about respect to me. You have helped, and I am thankful.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Nah, 'cause if you did it again, I'd just delete it unread. I do that with about 99% of the mail I receive from people I don't know. Nothing personal. Just the way I do things.





LadyPact -> RE: a question.. (2/11/2016 9:03:42 AM)

Glad I was able to. It's nice to think you did get something from the thread. [:)]



petitespot -> RE: a question.. (2/11/2016 9:19:00 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: newatdis

As you know I am new. It was established before the slave arrived at my house that I was Master and she was slave. To do what I want with her, but she might resist at first. I knew she started her day at 5 AM. By the time she got to my State, and my city it's 11 PM at night. She commented about getting lost, being tired. Should I have just done the things I read about anyway? Without consideration as to her day? I am being dead serious. Granted I had a messed up idea about the whole thing. I only starting googling it a couple days before she got here (lol) and read mostly stories and experiences. Some twisted stuff. The ironic thing here is, I bought a book on Ebay "Doms guide to Submissive training"...and if I knew, I could have followed it to the T. But the book didn't arrive until yesterday and all this started Friday.



Lose the books.
Fuck every preconceived notion and stereotype you've had about all of this.
Be who you are naturally and find someone who is drawn to that.
My guy is caring and sweet to me. He rubs my back and feet after a long day of work.
And I do what he says.
If he was uncaring and an asshole because that's how a dominant man "is supposed to be" I'd be out the door so fucking fast.

*Haven't read any of the responses, but based on how many pages there are I'm suspecting a trainwreck.



newatdis -> RE: a question.. (2/12/2016 10:23:58 AM)

I understand, and I lost being myself in the whole process. Got caught up trying to play a role.

(DD) friend, I hope that you received my last message before I deleted my profile. Where I mentioned that I am deleting the profile. I appreciate you immensely!



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