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What do you look for? - 2/14/2016 2:54:28 AM

SuaveGentleman

Posts: 64
Joined: 2/14/2016
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Hello all

This might come off as a rather superficial question, but please bear with me.

We all often go out and instinctively look around for a potential partner. While appearances only run skin deep, and I (along with Google recruiters) do not believe in "first impression = last impression", unfortunately we take our first judgement calls on those external parameters.

What do you usually look for in a man / woman that marks her as a potential approachable candidate? What about the first few minutes of conversation?

I'll start: I look for someone who is well mannered. Dressed decently. Knows how to carry herself in public. Shows a sign that she likes company and a little attention. Someone who does not keep talking without giving the right pauses for the other person to chip in his bit. Most importantly, someone who comes off as genuine in the first few bits of conversation. Who is not lost in showing off, matching what everyone else is doing. Someone who does not click selfies at the drop of a hat. Maybe a mild and demure version of JLaw?

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RE: What do you look for? - 2/14/2016 1:09:56 PM

spellslave

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/16/2015
From: England
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Physically; long hair, facial hair. Hate to admit to being shallow but, that is definitely my 'type' which has proven to be the sound rule over and over.

Non-physically; good manners, intelligent, enjoys intellectual debates, enthusiastic on his hobbies [which don't even necessarily have to match mine] and always one for bettering himself and supporting me when I am trying to do the same.

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RE: What do you look for? - 2/14/2016 2:50:16 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Appropriate conversational pauses differ between backgrounds and geographical areas. So when you decide someone is rude for not waiting 30seconds to cue you, please note she thinks you're boring for stopping talking and leaving long periods do silence.

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RE: What do you look for? - 2/14/2016 4:00:24 PM

piggytoypainslut

Posts: 7
Joined: 2/13/2016
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Someone like me, except Dominant and a little less annoying.

But seriously, they must be an intellectual and have an ability to arouse me with meaningful conversation. Good looks help too.

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RE: What do you look for? - 2/14/2016 10:49:26 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

My tyoe i ohysicaklly tall bur that is not a dela braker.

Hr hasdlisteme to my viewpoint if it different a. A guy who had to be intelligent , cofidennt (a turn on), be willing to listen to my viewpoint and have a debate, deal breaker i is he did not have a sense of humor. I am lucky my Masters crazy sene of humor matches mine. Just a man i can talk to in and out of bed.

Matt's littleone

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RE: What do you look for? - 2/15/2016 6:25:58 AM

Cinnamongirl67

Posts: 854
Status: offline

Oh this will be fun, I can go into complete fantasy mode.
Dark short shiney black hair. A thin neat beard, the 5 o'clock shadow kind but a little longer. Dark chocolate eyes, almost black, that blaze. Chiseled features with a Noble nose and full lips. Huge muscular arms and a great butt. Walks stealth like, like a tiger, leopard or lion. Light olive skin and has an accent.
Personality wise. Firm and masterful. Rarely raises his voice but radiates power just by speaking. Just with one word. Rarely smiles so when he does smile, it's like the sun just came out from behind a cloud.
Reads books, always improving. Interesting just kicked back and breathing. Commanding but also kind, fair and understanding. A bit of a loner who is an absolute leader. You can't help but notice him and you act like you do not but you do and try to hide it. He finds it humorous. He knows what people are thinking. Loads of integrity, strength, fairness. Beautiful in all ways.

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RE: What do you look for? - 2/15/2016 4:47:51 PM

Greta75

Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
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I basically first physically, he must be tall and big. No matter how nice he is, but if he is skinny, I can't feel attraction. He can be considered ugly on the face. But that is okay with me, he just needs the right physique.

And then, I want to notice whether is he leading the conversation or am I leading the conversation? If I am leading the conversation, which I will if his not doing it, chances are, we may become friends, but I won't feel romantic attraction. I like a man who can naturally lead in everything and it starts with conversations.

Third, what are the topics of conversation we are talking about? Does it mentally engage me? Or am I bored by the topics? IF it does..., I will notice this man, and start seeing as potential mate. If he makes me laugh, it's a bonus, but not compulsory. I will make him laugh to test his sense of humour, whether it gels with mine.

How does he talk? Is he a straight talker or does he talk in circles? If he talks in circles and can't answer question straightforwardly, then friendzoned. If his a straight talker like me, I am slowly getting more interested in him.

Last of all, his manners, how gentlemanly he is, I really like old school gentleman, his temperament, if his easy going, kind, and just really good natured, laid back and gentle, calm, patience. Like Bingo!

But then there are all these other complications, like, will we be compatible in bed? I think I need at least a 70%-80%. Because what happens for me is, after all those above matches, we go to bed, and then everything goes south. We like different things in bed. I generally, don't inform the man of my preferences, because I want to find out his genuine true sexual style, as he would do it naturally. From there, I make a decision if he would have to give up or change too much sexually to be with me, for it to be viable.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 2/15/2016 4:49:59 PM >

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RE: What do you look for? - 2/18/2016 10:06:37 PM

SuaveGentleman

Posts: 64
Joined: 2/14/2016
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Greta75

But then there are all these other complications, like, will we be compatible in bed? I think I need at least a 70%-80%. Because what happens for me is, after all those above matches, we go to bed, and then everything goes south. We like different things in bed. I generally, don't inform the man of my preferences, because I want to find out his genuine true sexual style, as he would do it naturally. From there, I make a decision if he would have to give up or change too much sexually to be with me, for it to be viable.

Ah and then we realize how hard it is to find that angel who fits our demons.

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RE: What do you look for? - 2/21/2016 6:56:47 AM

kanina

Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
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What usually works best for me is not looking...

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RE: What do you look for? - 2/22/2016 1:40:35 PM

roythesub

Posts: 15
Joined: 2/8/2011
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quote:

what do you look for

I look for compatibility, no matter how the person looks, how they dress, how much they weigh, if we can't sit down and have a conversation, then it won't work. Second, I look for honesty. If a person can't be trusted, why be with them? Third: I look for similar interests. Now I understand that I am submissive, and yes I am collared, but I also have desires. A slaves desires are met through meeting his/her dominant's desires. If you don't have similar interests in bdsm, then you will end up not being happy in your relationship. I think the biggest thing to remember is that bdsm is just like any other relationship, with the exception of kinks. If you wouldn't be happy with the person in a vanilla relationship, and they have different interests, then you (speaking from a slaves point of view) will spend most of the time filling your dominant's desires, and yours are forgotten, as time goes on you start feeling neglected and the relationship fails.

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