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LadyPact -> RE: Whats wrong with the Domme stereotypes? (2/19/2016 8:48:06 PM)
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ORIGINAL: dreamlady
Hmm, don't like the word "elitist" either. I don't think anyone has ever called me that in any capacity. I can be picky, I'm highly selective, I know what I want, what others want is their business as long as they go about it in an ethical fashion (otherwise, I might have to put in my 2 cents. Or I might not, depending on the circumstances.)
I get it a lot. The thing that makes me laugh is when people call me an "Elder" and think it's an insult. If people saw *my* Elders, they'd know it's an honor to be categorized with them.
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I guess it just boils down to mutual consensuality in general. Personally, I'm a fan or a proponent of quality vs. quantity.
I don't know how serious you're being, but I can kid around with the word 'snob' because I know that I am not one (unjustifiably, or not without just cause).
Oh, I am and *if* I were a bottom I'd be so much worse. [:-]
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Do I ever prejudge? Sure, I know that I do. I see it like this, I can be reasoned with and I try to be fair, as well as fairly tolerant, and let others stand on their own merits to the extent possible.
Judgement is not a dirty word. If people prefer, call it evaluation.
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My initial reaction was to say I don't do social dominance either -- but I realize that this isn't true. It's more of a default pattern with me, and I don't see it as D/s per se. I don't seek it out, which is how I believe you mean it, as in having nothing to prove.
Most things I do are with a huge dose of common sense. I have no problem with saying "you are better at X than me." If that's the case, I'll get the hell out of your way. When I'm better at Y than you, it's the same in return. Most people can compare skills and make this easy. There's no power play. It's honest assessment.
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(Knuckle-dragging buffoon has too many issues, insecurities, and social anxieties for me to comment upon any further.)
OK, just [sm=happy-smiley58.gif]
I reserve the right to laugh when he falls on his ass.
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I'm actually of the opinion that if you have to constantly declare your dominance in public or go around tooting your own horn, then you aren't whatever it is you're trying to convince others that you are. Essentially, your reputation precedes you, and actions & results speak louder than words.
If we were all in the same (physical) room, I'd never have to say a word about being a good top. However, it's not a thing you can *see*. Maybe impart a little knowledge along the way. You know. The education thing.
No question, but it isn't just with males. However, I've found that males don't handle getting called out on their crap nearly as well as other women do (although that is up for dispute).
Women get a lot more allowances than men. Even here.
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It's more of a numbers things, from personal experience. Happens about ten times more often with guys than with gals (the prove-it schtick in whatever area of life), in that much fewer gals will try to pull a number on me.
I'm kind of grooving on the term "mansplaining" lately. Those are the males who try to tell you that you are doing it all wrong. [8D]
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That kind of approach doesn't work on me since I don't have a competitive trigger out in full view like some people do, those who can be easily baited or challenged.
I don't mind. If I crack whips against someone, if I win, I proved my point that I practiced just as hard as they did. If I lose, I need more practice. Either way, I benefit. If you are going to be a top, be a good one, and you can always be a better one.
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A little, some informal history. I've seen the leather strips and colors displayed in other groups. I try to be respectful of whomever, not like a few younger kinksters I know who point & laugh amongst themselves from a distance when they see a leather-garbed Master.
Yeah, I don't blame folks most days. All of the sub-cultures, though, got us where we are now. In 2016, would be here if other people wouldn't have done some things?
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Well, many s-types feel the same way, and it boils down to compatibility as to whether both parties are on the same page. It's not what I seek, but I'm not much on the whole Master/slave bit for myself. Again, what others do is their own private business, unless one is seeking the input of others on a particular problem or issue of concern.
It's true that you can hardly get away from the employer/employee, boss (superior)/subordinate comparisons.
I will say this though (at the expense of tooting my own horn!), and that is I might be the best and most generous boss a self-starting person could ever work for, just as long as that individual doesn't need to be micromanaged.
Can't help it, really. I enjoy being a channel of blessings to others, and I view partnerships - even/equal, uneven/unequal - as being synergistic in purpose and in practice. (If they're not, then what's the point.)
Tying back into the "worthiness" concept, I'll give anybody a clean slate of being worthy and deserving until they show me otherwise. [:D]
Well, even leather people have a softer side.
You, as a monogamous person, should be going for the whole enchilada in one person. I know you didn't ask for my advice. It's just how I see it.
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That, too, but I was thinking more along the lines of ABDL and MommyDomming. Any kind of relationship with a man that I consider to be more peer-level as adults where a (grown-ass) man starts acting childish and infantile turns my stomach.
I have friends that are ABs but I can't do it. I don't want to knock anybody's kinks but there had better be a serious health issue to get me to change an adult diaper.
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