how do you know

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subgurl123 -> how do you know (7/19/2006 3:08:54 PM)
i am new to this and i want to if the strong desire to serve is a good thing and i dont want to rush but i want a collar so bad that it is so hard to choice wisely

juliaoceania -> RE: how do you know (7/19/2006 3:14:43 PM)
If I were you I would stop thinking about collars the way teenage girls think about weddings. I haven't been collared, and I have been learning about it for a few years. This is my opinion, but if I were a dom/me, I wouldn't be all fired in a hurry to collar someone that was extremely impatient. It isn't about the collar, it is about the relationship after all...but this is just my opinion.

babysburnin -> RE: how do you know (7/19/2006 3:20:02 PM)
Ok...settle down over there. First, wanting a collar is wrong if only for the sake of having one. Wanting to "be collared" by someone who is special is better. Don't be in a rush, as it will only take away from what you truely seek and that which you can live with happily. (That's what my last fortune cookie said.)

puella -> RE: how do you know (7/19/2006 3:20:19 PM)
subgirl, It would be helpful, if you are at all interested in getting some sort of 'advice' here, for you to answer a few questions... What is driving this need you feel to be collared? What do you envision service as a slave to be? What does it mean to you to be a collared slave? I suppose those should supply enough information to begin with..

bandit25 -> RE: how do you know (7/19/2006 3:22:36 PM)
Yeah, you may want to meet someone first and then make sure that you are compatible.

michaelGA2 -> RE: how do you know (7/19/2006 3:25:16 PM)
i got a collar, but i don't belong to anyone anymore.

ravn -> RE: how do you know (7/19/2006 3:52:56 PM)
a collar is only a symbol, not the be-all-end-all. If it's a symbol of something that doesn't mean anything- does it mean anything to have the collar?

cutelinygurl84 -> RE: how do you know (7/19/2006 3:59:59 PM)
I have never personally been collared but its not something that should be rushed into its a deep commitment. I can understand the desire to serve there is nothing wrong with that I also feel the desire to serve my Dom. You cant rush into things and when the time is right for you it will just hit you. It should be a lifetime decision not something to be taken lightly. I understand the urge to be collared but wait for the right Dom to come along. Best of luck to you. Cutelinygurl84

littleone35 -> RE: how do you know (7/19/2006 4:37:22 PM)
I was just recently collared (well physically had a mental collar long before) Now when my late Master passed away i did not even want a Master for a long time. I finally started looking again and i met many Doms talked to even more but even though i wanted to be collared again and had an intense desire to serve no one seemed right. Then i met my Master and i just knew he was the one. What i am trying to say is don't rush into it. A collar is a symbol true but (to me a least) a very important symbol. It is a commitment just be patient wait meet Doms(safely) read the boards. I know it is hard to wait but it will be better in the long run . Matt's littleone

syreena -> RE: how do you know (7/19/2006 9:02:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: puella subgirl, It would be helpful, if you are at all interested in getting some sort of 'advice' here, for you to answer a few questions... What is driving this need you feel to be collared? What do you envision service as a slave to be? What does it mean to you to be a collared slave? I suppose those should supply enough information to begin with.. Thank you puella this was beautifully stated! subgurl take a look at these questions and figure out what your journey is about. Being collared is serious and something that should not just "happen." i have been collared for the past five years to the same Master; and, i can tell you i have more tears and sweat from this relationship than most vanillas. Yet, i'm stronger because of the work that has went into this relationship that Master has granted to me. subgurl you stated you're "new" to this and almost all of us can understand your feelings of want and desire. Before you just go off blindly, i would highly suggest finding a submissive or slave that has been in the lifestyle around you and after forming a friendship with them ask them to mentor you. Until then, ask lots of questions, learn from others, be safe and most of all take baby steps! In your excitement, subgurl, it’s easy to forget about safety and because of this many have ended up physically, mentally and verbally abused, hurt and or worse. Welcome to a wonderful, large world but don’t forget to slow down and enjoy the journey!

ownedgirlie -> RE: how do you know (7/19/2006 11:27:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: puella subgirl, It would be helpful, if you are at all interested in getting some sort of 'advice' here, for you to answer a few questions... What is driving this need you feel to be collared? What do you envision service as a slave to be? What does it mean to you to be a collared slave? I suppose those should supply enough information to begin with.. ~smiling~ These were just a few of the questions I needed to answer before Master put his collar on me. I'm glad to see you put them out there, Puella.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: how do you know (7/19/2006 11:31:00 PM)
There's always the 6 month waiting guideline.

thegunslinger -> RE: how do you know (7/21/2006 11:14:55 AM)
I don't believe there's a rock solid time limit to wait, but a collar can be serious symbol. Then you can get into gorean and non-gorean, different levels of collaring or just one level. Anyway you cut it, look hard at the reasons you want it like puella is talking about.

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: how do you know (7/21/2006 1:12:36 PM)
Find a good Dominant fist then maybe after a good lenght of time the collaring may come. Take you time and feel someone out. Don't just rush into things. There are to amny people out there that call themselves dominants but aren't. Be patient, learn and grow. A collar isn't something to be taken lightly. It just isnt something to wear.

BillsGalSusan -> RE: how do you know (7/21/2006 2:31:21 PM)
I've never had a collar. I can't say that I've missed it. I suppose if it had been important to me to have this symbol, I'd have gotten one somewhere along the way, though probably not on my timetable. As for a desire to serve...I'd sure like to hear you say more about that. I think I'm pretty good at that end of it, but my experience has been that it's not always the intriguing sexy thing some folks seem to think it is. Another Susan

hispossession -> RE: how do you know (7/21/2006 9:38:40 PM)
I am waiting, I hope patiently, but it doesn't feel like that sometimes, for my Master to collar me... we met 7 years ago but only began this relationship 7 months ago... and we're 1000 miles apart so I've only been lucky enough to spend time with him twice... once for 4 days and the most recent time for 3 weeks. when I was down last Master placed a collar around my neck for an evening when we were going out... the collar is one that belongs to his wife and Master said that not just anyone is allowed to wear it... it was the most amazing feeling... kneeling in front of him and feeling the collar placed around my neck... but it didn't make me feel any more owned. His wife also painted "slave" on my cheek for the evening in Kanji (sp?) and when someone asked what it meant and I told them it was wonderful... but again, it didn't make me fell any more owned... it was just... I don't know... when Master suggested that I might sleep better without the collar on and I asked him if he would remove it for me was a little sad for me though... I want to wear his collar... his. The one that he is going to design for me to claim me, visibly, as his own... I am proud to be his and I like the idea of there being the visible symbol of our relationship. you wouldn't just get married to get married so I don't see why you would go out and get collared just for the sake of being collared... it's just window dressing if it doesn't mean something to you... I've worn "collars" out as accessories before and it's totally not the same as wearing one that Master has put around my neck... and that was just for the night...

submaleslaveuk -> RE: how do you know (7/23/2006 2:11:20 AM)
Hi subgurl, The best part of being collared is the journey in getting there i dont know what i am talking about as never been collared but just thought it sounded dramatic LOL!! BUt in a more serious note surely the finding out about yourself and your partner and the journey you will take until you are collared is the real fun part!! Take care and be patient, the best things come to those that wait! submaleslaveuk darren xx

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: how do you know (7/23/2006 5:13:10 PM)
You are in a state of what is referred to as "sub/slave frenzy"..as LA says wait 6 months before entering a serious relationship.When I first came on here those 6 months that she uttered made sense, it enabled me to essentially overcome the "frenzy" and to hopefully someday make an informed,wise choice.And actually I am thinking that even when and if I do find the right "one" I would not accept a collar for a while, for to me, it is the ultimate expression of commitment there is ...be well...Tempting

faithNZ -> RE: how do you know (7/23/2006 9:01:56 PM)
Here's a funny idea - what about buying yoursef one? That way you can stop obsessing/focussing etc on getting 'a collar' and carry on before you got the idea. I'm not collared myself - except to my work - but I often wear a choker.

Zenar -> RE: how do you know (7/26/2006 7:25:56 PM)
I would suggest asking yourself what does a collar realy mean in your own eyes? It can mean many different things to many different people but it is never taken lightly. I know someone will argue this point, that I am belittling the symbol of a collar, but there are as many different collars out there as their are rings in the vanilla world. Some people like wearing rings for no reason, and some people like wareing a choker for no reason, it symbolises nothing at all, they just think it is fasionable. There are friendship rings, engaement rings, wedding rings, all with different varrying wieghts of importance. So many would compair "The Collar" to a wedding ring and nothing else. Take a moment and forget what everyone else thinks. Forget even what I may or may not think. What other people think is not important. What other people may think of what you think is not important. What is it that you think the collar really should represent in your life? What importance does it have, not only now, but in your future? What should it symbolize? Only you will know the right answer for yourself. The problem with rushing down the path is that you miss the whole point. The object is not to get to the end, but instead to enjoy the journey.

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