Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

how do you know


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> how do you know Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
how do you know - 7/19/2006 3:08:54 PM   
subgurl123


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/6/2006
Status: offline 		i am new to this and i want to if the strong desire to serve is a good thing and i dont want to rush but i want a collar so bad that it is so hard to choice wisely
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: how do you know - 7/19/2006 3:14:43 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		If I were you I would stop thinking about collars the way teenage girls think about weddings. I haven't been collared, and I have been learning about it for a few years. This is my opinion, but if I were a dom/me, I wouldn't be all fired in a hurry to collar someone that was extremely impatient. It isn't about the collar, it is about the relationship after all...but this is just my opinion.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to subgurl123)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: how do you know - 7/19/2006 3:20:02 PM   
babysburnin


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline 		Ok...settle down over there.  First, wanting a collar is wrong if only for the sake of having one.  Wanting to "be collared" by someone who is special is better.  Don't be in a rush, as it will only take away from what you truely seek and that which you can live with happily.

(That's what my last fortune cookie said.)

< Message edited by babysburnin -- 7/19/2006 4:17:55 PM >

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

(in reply to subgurl123)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: how do you know - 7/19/2006 3:20:19 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		subgirl,

It would be helpful, if you are at all interested in getting some sort of 'advice' here, for you to answer a few questions...


What is driving this need you feel to be collared?

What do you envision service as a slave to be?

What does it mean to you to be a collared slave?


I suppose those should supply enough information to begin with..

(in reply to subgurl123)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: how do you know - 7/19/2006 3:22:36 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah, you may want to meet someone first and then make sure that you are compatible.

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: how do you know - 7/19/2006 3:25:16 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		i got a collar, but i don't belong to anyone anymore.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: how do you know - 7/19/2006 3:52:56 PM   
ravn


Posts: 328
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline 		a collar is only a symbol, not the be-all-end-all. If it's a symbol of something that doesn't mean anything- does it mean anything to have the collar?


_____________________________

Masochism is a valuable job skill.
Chuck Palahniuk
Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly.
~Proverb ( bring on the tyranny!)

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: how do you know - 7/19/2006 3:59:59 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		I have never personally been collared but its not something that should be rushed into its a deep commitment.  I can understand the desire to serve there is nothing wrong with that I also feel the desire to serve my Dom.  You cant rush into things and when the time is right for you it will just hit you.   It should be a lifetime decision not something to be taken lightly.  I understand the urge to be collared but wait for the right Dom to come along. Best of luck to you.

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to ravn)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: how do you know - 7/19/2006 4:37:22 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I was just recently collared (well physically had a mental collar long before)  Now when my late Master passed away i did not even want a Master for a long time.  I finally started looking again and i met many Doms talked to even more but even though i wanted to be collared again and had an intense desire to serve no one seemed right.  Then i met my Master and i just knew he was the one.  What i am trying to say is don't rush into it.  A collar is a symbol true but (to me a least) a very important symbol.  It is a commitment just be patient wait meet Doms(safely) read the boards.    I know it is hard to wait but it will be better in the long run .

Matt's littleone

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: how do you know - 7/19/2006 9:02:49 PM   
syreena


Posts: 36
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

subgirl,

It would be helpful, if you are at all interested in getting some sort of 'advice' here, for you to answer a few questions...


What is driving this need you feel to be collared?

What do you envision service as a slave to be?

What does it mean to you to be a collared slave?


I suppose those should supply enough information to begin with..


Thank you puella this was beautifully stated! 

subgurl take a look at these questions and figure out what your journey is about.  Being collared is serious and something that should not just "happen."  i have been collared for the past five years to the same Master; and, i can tell you i have more tears and sweat from this relationship than most vanillas.  Yet, i'm stronger because of the work that has went into this relationship that Master has granted to me. 

subgurl you stated you're "new" to this and almost all of us can understand your feelings of want and desire.  Before you just go off blindly, i would highly suggest finding a submissive or slave that has been in the lifestyle around you and after forming a friendship with them ask them to mentor you. Until then, ask lots of questions, learn from others, be safe and most of all take baby steps!  In your excitement, subgurl, it’s easy to forget about safety and because of this many have ended up physically, mentally and verbally abused, hurt and or worse.  Welcome to a wonderful, large world but don’t forget to slow down and enjoy the journey!

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: how do you know - 7/19/2006 11:27:14 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

subgirl,

It would be helpful, if you are at all interested in getting some sort of 'advice' here, for you to answer a few questions...


What is driving this need you feel to be collared?

What do you envision service as a slave to be?

What does it mean to you to be a collared slave?


I suppose those should supply enough information to begin with..


~smiling~
These were just a few of the questions I needed to answer before Master put his collar on me.    I'm glad to see you put them out there, Puella.

(in reply to puella)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: how do you know - 7/19/2006 11:31:00 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		There's always the 6 month waiting guideline. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to subgurl123)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: how do you know - 7/21/2006 11:14:55 AM   
thegunslinger


Posts: 81
Joined: 6/4/2006
From: Grand Rapids, Michigan
Status: offline 		I don't believe there's a rock solid time limit to wait, but a collar can be serious symbol. Then you can get into gorean and non-gorean, different levels of collaring or just one level. Anyway you cut it, look hard at the reasons you want it like puella is talking about.

_____________________________

"The essence of domination is to take another's power and then use it for mutual pleasure." - John Warren

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: how do you know - 7/21/2006 1:12:36 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Find a good Dominant fist then maybe after a good lenght of time the collaring may come. Take you time and feel someone out. Don't just rush into things. There are to amny people out there that call themselves dominants but aren't. Be patient, learn and grow. A collar isn't something to be taken lightly. It just isnt something to wear.

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 7/21/2006 1:13:32 PM >

(in reply to subgurl123)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: how do you know - 7/21/2006 2:31:21 PM   
BillsGalSusan


Posts: 69
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		I've never had a collar. I can't say that I've missed it. I suppose if it had been important to me to have this symbol, I'd have gotten one somewhere along the way, though probably not on my timetable.

As for a desire to serve...I'd sure like to hear you say more about that. I think I'm pretty good at that end of it, but my experience has been that it's not always the intriguing sexy thing some folks seem to think it is.

Another Susan

< Message edited by BillsGalSusan -- 7/21/2006 2:36:24 PM >

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: how do you know - 7/21/2006 9:38:40 PM   
hispossession


Posts: 161
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		I am waiting, I hope patiently, but it doesn't feel like that sometimes, for my Master to collar me... we met 7 years ago but only began this relationship 7 months ago... and we're 1000 miles apart so I've only been lucky enough to spend time with him twice... once for 4 days and the most recent time for 3 weeks.

when I was down last Master placed a collar around my neck for an evening when we were going out... the collar is one that belongs to his wife and Master said that not just anyone is allowed to wear it... it was the most amazing feeling... kneeling in front of him and feeling the collar placed around my neck... but it didn't make me feel any more owned.  His wife also painted "slave" on my cheek for the evening in Kanji (sp?) and when someone asked what it meant and I told them it was wonderful... but again, it didn't make me fell any more owned... it was just... I don't know...

when Master suggested that I might sleep better without the collar on and I asked him if he would remove it for me was a little sad for me though...

I want to wear his collar... his.  The one that he is going to design for me to claim me, visibly, as his own... I am proud to be his and I like the idea of there being the visible symbol of our relationship. 

you wouldn't just get married to get married so I don't see why you would go out and get collared just for the sake of being collared... it's just window dressing if it doesn't mean something to you... I've worn "collars" out as accessories before and it's totally not the same as wearing one that Master has put around my neck... and that was just for the night...




_____________________________

I do not want to be the leader...
Anais Nin

(in reply to BillsGalSusan)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: how do you know - 7/23/2006 2:11:20 AM   
submaleslaveuk


Posts: 95
Joined: 7/21/2006
From: Manchester UK
Status: offline 		Hi subgurl,

The best part of being collared is the journey in getting there

i dont know what i am talking about as never been collared but just thought it sounded dramatic LOL!! BUt in a more serious note surely the finding out about yourself and your partner and the journey you will take until you are collared is the real fun part!!

Take care and be patient, the best things come to those that wait!

submaleslaveuk
darren
xx

(in reply to hispossession)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: how do you know - 7/23/2006 5:13:10 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		You are in a state of what is referred to as "sub/slave frenzy"..as LA says wait 6 months before entering a serious relationship.When I first came on here those 6 months that she uttered made sense, it enabled me to essentially overcome the "frenzy" and to hopefully someday make an informed,wise choice.And actually I am thinking that even when and if I do find the right "one" I would not accept a collar for a while, for to me, it is the ultimate expression of commitment there is ...be well...Tempting

(in reply to subgurl123)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: how do you know - 7/23/2006 9:01:56 PM   
faithNZ


Posts: 82
Joined: 11/28/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline 		Here's a funny idea - what about buying yoursef one?  That way you can stop obsessing/focussing etc on getting 'a collar' and carry on before you got the idea.  I'm not collared myself - except to my work - but I often wear a choker.

_____________________________

I'm unique - just like everyone else

http://www.slaveregister.com/751-990-923

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: how do you know - 7/26/2006 7:25:56 PM   
Zenar


Posts: 39
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline 		I would suggest asking yourself what does a collar realy mean in your own eyes? It can mean many different things to many different people but it is never taken lightly. I know someone will argue this point, that I am belittling the symbol of a collar, but there are as many different collars out there as their are rings in the vanilla world. Some people like wearing rings for no reason, and some people like wareing a choker for no reason, it symbolises nothing at all, they just think it is fasionable. There are friendship rings, engaement rings, wedding rings, all with different varrying wieghts of importance. So many would compair "The Collar" to a wedding ring and nothing else. Take a moment and forget what everyone else thinks. Forget even what I may or may not think. What other people think is not important. What other people may think of what you think is not important. What is it that you think the collar really should represent in your life? What importance does it have, not only now, but in your future? What should it symbolize? Only you will know the right answer for yourself.

The problem with rushing down the path is that you miss the whole point. The object is not to get to the end, but instead to enjoy the journey.

_____________________________

I know I am a mean evil bastard, but at least I am honest about it.

(in reply to faithNZ)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> how do you know Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094