dreamlady
Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
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quote:
ORIGINAL: thompsonx
quote:
ORIGINAL: freedomdwarf1
This was exactly my point peppermint 
Greta lives in cloud cuckoo land in a very tiny country that is isolated and in many ways, quite backward compared to the usual western society that a lot of us take for granted.
How did you know she lives in idaho?
Hey, I happen to be quite fond of Idaho  (although admittedly, have never lived there).
My recollection from my last of 3 visits was meeting the sexiest hunk of a state trooper who wanted me to move and come live with him.
He was very romantic on our group dates (I was there during an extended conference), but we didn't have sex because I was engaged at the time.
Are you insinuating that I may have dodged a bullet?  
quote:
ORIGINAL: Greta75
There are cultural differences to this power and respect.
In traditional chinese marriages, a man surrenders his entire salary to his wife, and she gives him an allowance of his own money. She is the head of budgets. The man's job is to bring in the dough for her to manage. My x-husband did that with me even though I made more money than him, he still followed tradition. His dad did that with his mom. And I definitely know enough men who still practices this tradition. But on surface, the woman may look demure and defer to her husband in public all the time. But because, we would always want to make our man look like his in charge infront of others, so he'll always look good and ego intact.
But can you imagine a caucasian man willingly allowing his wife to control his purse strings like that?
Who has the real power in that relationship? I don't know. I think home makers in Caucasian world has less power, because they are at the mercy of their man's and what they give them.
But over here, when men are brought up like it's normal to surrender your entire income to your wife. And you marry a woman to be your accountant and handle your finance, it's a whole different thing, and they don't interfer with how you manage his money, as long as he sees it growing and put into good use. Usually they will choose a wife who is sensible about these stuffs too.
And then on top of that, imagine he loves you and you don't love him. Who has bigger power.
There are plenty of Caucasian men who let their wives control the purse strings. It's just more customarily accepted in Asian cultures, at least the ones I'm familiar with.
You are right, in that the wife is expected to build upon the household wealth via her handling of the finances. The shrewdest money managers I have ever known have been Asian wives who run family businesses.
There are also women's "social clubs" which operate like financial lenders at a grassroots level, where resources are pooled and then rotated on a monthly basis. One month, one of the ladies has full use of the group's funds, the next month another one does.
DreamLady
_____________________________
Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti
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RE: The one who settles has all the power - 
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