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pleasnpetrichor -> RE: Are findoms beggars? (2/28/2016 5:26:39 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
quote:
ORIGINAL: pleasnpetrichor
We have the mentally ill committed when they become a danger to themselves, whether they wish it or not. We strongly encourage, sometimes compel, addicts to get help before blow their lives apart. It seems fair to claim the right, at very least, to pass judgement on the people involved in this case. Not to oblige folks to pretend that ANY way a person gets their jollies is okay, as long as they only hurt themselves.
At very least, it equates cynical predation and victimization with dominance. Not a very good thing for the honest practitioners of BDSM, I think.
The problem with this is the assumption that those who wish to participate in fin kink *are* mentally ill. Granted, it wouldn't surprise me if there were a fraction of people who want to engage in that particular kink would be, because it's highly unlikely that the number is zero, just as much as it's unlikely that it's 100%. Not any different really than what could be said of any other specific kinks that are involved in BDSM because with so many people doing any one particular thing, it's impossible to say that there's an absolute either way. The same can be said for those participating in alternative lifestyles without the BDSM part. That makes it neither a "none" or "all" answer, so you have to go with "some".
So, are you in favor of people not being able to gamble at casinos because some people having an addiction to gambling? Do we close bars because some people are alcoholics? Maybe we should get rid of porn because some people are sex addicts?
This is a lot different than saying that *ANY* way a person gets their jollies is OK. The day somebody tells me that their "kink" is to drop cement blocks from a roof onto a person's head on the ground below, that's going to be an example where it's an automatic dangerous practice because of the harm involved. Buying somebody a gift off of their wish list or sending them cash in exchange for them paying attention to the other party just doesn't hit the same level.
Hi LadyPact. Good to see you.
I think perhaps you misunderstood me, although maybe I didn't explain myself well. I didn't mean to imply I think all fin subs (is that a real term?) are mentally ill. (As an aside, for me the term "mentally ill" refers to a chronic, long term condition. I was speaking of people who are suicidal, and personally I would not consider all of them to be mentally ill. I have no idea whether my understanding of the term "mentally ill" corresponds either to common usage or medical definition, but that is how I use the term.) I didn't mean to imply I think society would always be justified in intervening to prevent an addict from pursuing his addiction. I certainly didn't mean to say I think addictive substances or activities should be banned for everyone.
I wasn't suggesting that we go about banning fin kink. You're right to say that would impose on individual liberties. I guess I haven't made up my mind whether I think such a drastic step as that is warranted. I do think folks are justified in condemning it though, at least. I think the BDSM community has a real interest in distancing itself from behavior that (in my opinion anyway) is cynically and deliberately exploitative in the majority of cases. I think such things ought to be publicly scorned, the way I would publicly scorn the alcoholic who loses his job and drinks his family into destitution, and the shopkeeper who, knowing that, keeps selling him booze.
And I certainly think "Dominant" is the wrong word for the person on the receiving end of such behavior.
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