Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (Full Version)

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sluttraining00 -> Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (2/29/2016 4:21:46 PM)

It just doesn't ring true to me - I can't imagine someone aged 18 (or under 21 or so) using a site like CS today.
Most of the regulars here I imagine grew up online and forums were where it all started. But today theres so many social networks offering much more features -
I teach 18 year olds and I can't imagine any of them even know what an online forum is.
And on top of that, the fact that just about anyone on here who is 18 is using a picture which looks like its been ripped right from Facebook - nothing kinky in it at all just a picture of a (almost always) thin and attractive teenage girl.
Is it just me ? Or does everyone else when they receive a message from an 18-19 year old always assume they are fake?



crazyml -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (2/29/2016 5:03:59 PM)

I am sure that a high proportion of the absurdly well photographed 18 year olds are sus. Although... it does seem that 23 years old, and 5"3' is the magic combination for the scammers.

But, I think there are a fair few genuine 18 y/olds out there - There really are only a few big kink oriented personals sites, so they'll find them.

I would say though, that the likelihood of my having anything in common with someone below the age of 30 is pretty fucking slim so it's all a bit moot for me.



DesFIP -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (2/29/2016 5:12:59 PM)

18 year olds will be more competent online than older people who grew up before the net.

My oldest modded a board for people with mental illnesses about age 20. Her younger brother was buying and selling paint ball equipment while a tween.

However, I doubt there are a lot of barely legal females here seeking men old enough to be their father or grandfather. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck.

The site tells you not to send money. You'll be better off if you follow that rule.



DOM68005 -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (2/29/2016 5:30:14 PM)

Yes, I can look and believe it possible some under 21 are lead here and sincerely post. Some user groups have allowed some 19-21s attend meetings. Some that young are "owned".
There is this popular thing called Google and other search engines that are very popular with that crowd. Television and Movies today show things even to that age group that were never possible when I was that age.
Yes, webchats are popular with that age group as with most young people. Just look at the number of improper selfies reported in the news.
Yes, it can be dangerous for them and anybody who responds ... watch MSNBC or check this website:
http://priceonomics.com/the-tragic-data-behind-selfie-fatalities/

Yes, after looking at as many profiles as I have (being a very picky so and so), many appear to be cut and paste or slightly edited.
Yes, several appeal but chats with them usually end up asking for gas money, etc. No .. do NOT send money, gift cards, etc.
That said, my alarms really go code red at reported age 29 but the photos look to be the age you are concerned about or their composition skills are less than 8th grade level.



littleclip -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (2/29/2016 7:41:42 PM)

if you search for the picture you can find many of them are on many other sites and under diffrent names. but yes there are real 18yo on here that are real



DocStrange -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (2/29/2016 8:36:19 PM)

The mail controls system (from the mail menu) does wonders for routing the teeny boppers directly to the bulk mail folder :)



feralkitten -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/2/2016 7:20:53 AM)

I showed up on CM when I was 18, so no.



SuaveGentleman -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/3/2016 11:31:18 PM)

I would not say I automatically dismiss them, but yes I definitely consider / approach them with caution.

As a background setting, we need to understand that 18 year olds are much more internet savvy than we were back in the day (which is just 10 odd years for me. Geez am I sounding old already?!). Also - I dont know if this applies to all - due to the deluge of information today (albeit often bad information), youngsters figure out stuff about sex way before most of us had. So, theoretically it is not impossible that at 18 folks have things sorted out.

That being said, at a practical level the primary question I ask is whether they have only lived this in their head or have actually thought it through. I would like to hear they have had such experiences before but honestly it creeps me out to ask someone what kinds of S&M they have tried before they were 18. Plus, just because someone is new should not lead to a rejection - everyone has to start somewhere. I pay attention to how well they have thought it through, how much they have read and tried to understand, which sources they have used, and how realistic are their expectations.

In summary, 18 year-olds who walk in the door asking to be locked up in a dungeon? Ignore. 18 year-olds who admit they are very new to this and would like to learn, explore and figure out more? I am listening.

- asn



longwayhome -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 3:29:43 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: feralkitten

I showed up on CM when I was 18, so no.


I'm sure there are lots of profiles of under 25s which are completely genuine. I only question it when someone that age approaches me as a man in my forties.

Plenty of the UK profiles of young people seem completely genuine, with people looking to learn, have fun and be around like-minded people, in a way you just don't get on standard networking sites.

It is true that there are also a large number of young princesses looking for money as findoms. Many of them seem to be offering an honest service, if you into that sort of thing, but many others are of course scams. I'm not looking to spend my money on that kink so it doesn't really make any difference to me.

I do think that assuming that 18 year old profiles are fake is just as mistaken as assuming that all young people here are scammers. The last person to ask me for money (on her second message to me as it happens) was a woman in her forties. Needless to say I choose not to oblige, but the point is it was not a younger woman.

The only other potential concern is that someone is pretending to be older than they really are, i.e. a fifteen year old pretending to be eighteen. That of course is a whole other story, and I would hope anyone using CS takes the proper precautions to protect themselves and anyone who is (or appears to be) under the age of consent.



captive4ever -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 3:39:52 AM)

Well... when you get three "different" people from three different states, all 18, and all with the identical photo all visiting your profile, the answer has to be yes



longwayhome -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 4:10:53 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sluttraining00

Is it just me ? Or does everyone else when they receive a message from an 18-19 year old always assume they are fake?

(Bold added for emphasis - longwayhome)



No.

I think it's a possibility that they are fake, but not a certainty. Given the need for us all to be aware of scams, a degree of healthy scepticism is of always appropriate when someone of any age messages you (see my earlier post).

I do however strongly believe it's wrong to demonise all younger users of CS, nor least because I would hope that people of all ages would feel comfortable using the service.

There may be lots of older users but that's no reason for actively making younger people feel unwelcome.



Awareness -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 4:16:31 AM)

I find everybody suspicious. That's why I refused to engage much with women until they Skyped with me and verified they weren't some greasy weird dude in his mother's basement.



longwayhome -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 4:22:10 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

I find everybody suspicious. That's why I refused to engage much with women until they Skyped with me and verified they weren't some greasy weird dude in his mother's basement.


Absolutely.

Don't do Skype, except with family, but I essentially agree.

Even handed suspicion is far more reasonable and realistic than picking out a group by age. Your assumptions about the probability of someone from any demographic being a fake shouldn't give you any sense of comfort or concern. There are young genuine ones and old fakers.



WickedsDesire -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 6:42:01 AM)

Surprised many of you are tip toeing around the issue. The bulk of these pictures are stolen from other people…I simply prefer the term these users are fake which does not always go down well (saying that on fet in a public form or asking what they are doing about it – will also get you banned even if these “profiles” have amassed 100s/1000s of friends. Other than it breaking sites TOC it is actually illegal and legislation is being adjusted in England and Wales to take this into account – albeit they define them as trolls – as I do anyone who utilizes a picture not of their own work/public domain. Strangely never goes down well that. I think website should also bear an equal amount of responsibility especially if it is common knowledge and prevalent on their sites. I can’t be bothered listing the sites with the most fake profiles by %. By numbers (tens of millions) its facebook. % wise fet sites are up there at the top and by numbers yes its that other one, which I always think shameful and perpetuating the wrong message about the lifestyle and the complete apathy of them is appalling

CPS to prosecute 'trolls' who use fake online profiles

Will it ever be eradicated nope.
Most common reasons for fake/stolen pictures
Men who are married and attached adopting their on-line persona A third of the people on hookup app Tinder are already married - with WOMEN being most likely to cheat

More than four in ten people who use Tinder are already in a relationship
One in ten are going out with another person
Three in ten are supposedly so committed that they got married

Reason I cite tinder is two fold it most likely has one of the highest % of single people on all dating-networking sites. yet the study said 40%, and that will be a conservative number, went to th ebother of creating fake facebook accounts to be on tinder (many will use their original accounts as its not obvious from a facebook profile even if you had a spouse you are on tinder.)

Incidentally percentage wise, which is different from numbers, women are equally as bad.

After fake Men, then fake women troll profiles the third most common is the "lesbian/hot bisexual" utilising stolen pictures - majority of these profiles are created by men - incidentally they usually end up talking to other hot lesbians like themselves - not sure its karma. Then its scammers and lump all fake fin dommes, sugar whatever they call themselves into the scam category. yet again the bulk of these profiles are created by men.

Speaking out about this over the years causes me to also become a target. And after you report some of the profiles (which frankly I can never bothered be doing these days as fuk all is ever done by the sites to quell these numbers), oh and never say that and ask for an optional verification system openly on a variety of forums x sites. You can get banned for it “not my problem, go fuk yourself, you are banned ( I always like when the mods with stolen pictures ban me from that other place –or when people with stolen pictures ban me-or people wrongly presenting themselves as single report me) etc” their thread is valid (have you tried telling their 100-1000s of “network friends that” or all the people they have duped.

Personally I do not think most site cares as they function via ad revenue donation sytem and if you deleted over half the site, millions of stolen pictures, people would move on to more credible sites. But some of these sites know there is limited choice = hence the inaction.

Now, back to those 18-19 year old picture profiles on here I have seen quite a few pop up recently. Are some of them real, genuine? Yes some will be but far from 50%, very far.

Would any of you with kids, like if some “troll/fake” used your children’s pictures online to dupe/mislead others.
Would any of you like if someone else used your pictures online to dupe/mislead others.
Would any site owners like this. ( I bet these profiles get removed)
Would anyone with stolen pictures, not your own work(public domain” like if someone used actual pictures of you online to mislead dupe others?
Kind of answers itself really. But I see nothing being done about it over the last decade and its about as bad as it can get no matter the site.

slippernote - yes I understand the need for some people to have anonymity on some sites.

I have been vocal over the years regarding optional verification system. But would it help on sites ( i am not sure and enough people who can do it simply do not - i simply lack enough information to draw an accurate conclusion)

As for eg FB that removes, or used to remove your profile, if you put in the wrong name. obviously there will be legitimate reasons for some people using a different name (their privacy settings are fuking disgrace - or like a plate of spaghetti blootered all over ever text box you fill in/post)







LadyPact -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 7:18:53 AM)

OK, I guess. Since we're going to make it interesting...

To answer the original: I do not have this issue. That tag line I have about not answering emails and such? Yeah, I actually mean that. Ninety nine percent of the email I get is evaluated in the following manner. I will answer if:

* I know the person.

* I and the person sending the email know someone (in person) in common.

* Their forum posting participation is greater than five years.

* It's an Admin.

* The very rare occasion when a forum poster contacts me and I'm trying to help them for whatever reason or they seem like they should be treated better than "deleted unread". (Less than 1% of the email I receive.)

With these things in mind, I do not have your issue.

However, there is a very strong TNG section of the community where I live, so it is not at all unusual to see 18, 19, and 20 year olds with profiles here, on Fet, and other kink related sites. People I've actually met, usually at one of the clubs, and yes, that's really who they are. Considering the location on your profile, I am very surprised that you don't run across people who are not yet 21 in your local community.



longwayhome -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 7:43:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WickedsDesire

Surprised many of you are tip toeing around the issue.



No-one is tip-toeing around the issue.

The OP was asked "Is it just me ? Or does everyone else when they receive a message from an 18-19 year old always assume they are fake?"

The question was specifically about whether people assumed that all messages from 18-19 year olds were fakes. That is why a number of posters have replied specifically about making assumptions about younger people on CS.

You are right that there is an issue with using pictures that are not your own and therefore creating a "fake profile". And boy have we had that one out in many threads, no matter what the OP in that thread was about.

Just a few words on our much vaunted UK legal system and your link to the BBC news story.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-35712772

It all seems fine to prosecute those who commit fraud, but you know that we have some of the most restrictive internet regulation in the world here in the UK. We also have some very insidious anti-porn laws which allow female oppression and victimisation but do not allow any portrayal of harm, however consensual.

Think of how the porn laws have been used to prosecute people holding images of BDSM play, some of them clearly staged, where we all know that nobody came to any harm. The police have used these powers to trawl for images when they get hold of anyone's details, so that people investigated incorrectly for a crime, suddenly find themselves prosecuted for holding quite tame, readily commercially available BDSM images. Immediate criminal record and loss of livelihood etc. etc.

Now shift gear to the CPS using its "judgement" with regard to "fake" profiles. How fake is fake? Will people eventually find themselves prosecuted for holding profiles which have no picture, a clearly made up id (like longwayhome) because someone is not using their real name? What will constitute misleading someone? Perfectly innocent activities where someone just wants to stay anonymous. People who perhaps don't want to discuss their sex lives with their employers, perhaps.

That is entirely possible given our current laws, especially given the derived regulations our government so loves using with no reference to Parliament.

Think about it. The UK government is a global leader in digital surveillance, and has access to our entire digital life, with a few exceptions if you use TOR or similar, where sometimes it's just not worth the effort. Well until they make TOR come to heel as well. A Bill is passing through Parliament to ensure that all ISPs and servers store all interactions so that they can be openly accessed by the Police and not just the Secret Service (yes the Bond films are right, the correct formal name for our spooks is the SS, strangely ironic.) You have no right to know what information the SS holds about you. Warning - the SS don't seem to mind a bit of sexual freakiness, but the Police sure do and prosecute whenever they can.

Sure we can concentrate on "fake profiles" on CS, but ultimately you have the choice to engage. You can also protect yourself by not giving people money and make sure you meet in a public place. Checkout Internet Advice Sheet 1 for beginners for fuck sake!

I never thought I would say this but I'd rather see some fake profiles on CS and take appropriate precautions, than slip into the police state the UK is rapidly becoming.

Freedom comes with a cost. The internet is full of great people and wasters just like real life. Take some responsibility and deal with it.




longwayhome -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 7:52:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact



However, there is a very strong TNG section of the community where I live, so it is not at all unusual to see 18, 19, and 20 year olds with profiles here, on Fet, and other kink related sites. People I've actually met, usually at one of the clubs, and yes, that's really who they are. Considering the location on your profile, I am very surprised that you don't run across people who are not yet 21 in your local community.



He must do, unless he stays indoors.

I have lived all across the UK, and I have seen perfectly genuine under 21 profiles here and on Fet, from all parts of the country, both youngsters already plugged into alternative scenes, and those who want to be less out-there.

I don't communicate with them directly because I don't really communicate with anyone directly through messaging, but the odd younger person has contacted me. No requests for money, no scamming - usually just someone liking something I said or asking me about it. Not sure that being completely un-threatening was exactly the look I was going for but I ain't complaining.

We all know there are fakes, but hell we all need to take precautions.

Stamping down too hard has its down sides as well, which is why I said that freedom has its costs in my last post.




longwayhome -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 8:04:17 AM)

For the avoidance of doubt, I entirely support WickedsDesire in one aspect - claiming that the picture of another person is you and using it in a profile should be dealt with wherever possible, especially when it is the picture of a child.

My concern is that the UK government have not been as focused as that with any of their internet actions, and the news stories today suggested powers way beyond that to prosecute all sorts of other supposed "fakery", which sound quite serious in terms of civil liberties.

We all need to take precautions but that is not news; it is just a basic fact of life.



Nepthys61 -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 8:15:50 AM)

I like to keep it simple when I'm on this site.
I will communicate only with those who are of the age of consent in their state or country of jurisdiction. Understanding that 18 is the age of consent in most areas, I will go only as young as 21. That way I can never be accused of endangering or conspiring to influence the welfare/mind of an underaged individual.
In other words, if you look way too young to go to a bar with me, you haven't a chance in hell with me.



WickedsDesire -> RE: Does anyone else automatically find 18 year olds on here suspicious? (3/4/2016 9:40:31 AM)

Longwayhome said …some fake profiles…. – can you give us a figure that is acceptable to you from 0-100% say for CS and oh okay fet too then. I have given you tinders and facebooks(own figures).

Think I covered OP here with Now, back to those 18-19 year old picture profiles on here I have seen quite a few pop up recently. Are some of them real, genuine? Yes some will be but far from 50%, very far. (Unfortunately I haven’t really looked into the ones popping up automatically on my home page or I would have given a more concise figure).

OP also said........ And on top of that, the fact that just about anyone on here who is 18 is using a picture which looks like its been ripped right from Facebook - nothing kinky in it at all just a picture of a (almost always) thin and attractive teenage girl. OP is entirely correct and an alarm bell should begin to sound there ...I will add in they are also purloined (stolen) from instagram and pretty much any networking site, blog site, hair blog site, pictures women have sent them lets just call it the internet rather than name source.

Then I went onto discuss who is doing it and why. But from that I omitted young kids messing about and that sits uneasy with me. And yes they will do that on all sites too.
Would any of you with kids, like if some “troll/fake” used your children’s pictures online to dupe/mislead others. You did not understand that, I meant, say a 40 year old man uploading a 18 year olds picture he stole of a site. if another person did that to the 40 year old man 18 (actually 18plus) daughter/son what would he think


I went on to say.
Would any of you like if someone else used your pictures online to dupe/mislead others.
Would any site owners like this. ( I bet these profiles get removed)
Would anyone with stolen pictures, not your own work(public domain” like if someone used actual pictures of you online to mislead dupe others?

As far as I can see you dodged that and misunderstood one aspect..

Speaking for myself my profile does state a minimum requirement I expect before I talk to anyone indepth. Many posters did likewise.

Personally I never singled out CS and cited other sites even FB, which I personally view as spyware, says it has a problem with tens of millions of fake profiles, last article I read they cited 15%. I thought 15% isn’t that bad. I asked you the question My answer under 25% is acceptable no matter the site.

Personally I believe when someone is on any site they should have a reasonable expectation of who is talking to them, or vice versa, is who and what they say.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I apologize for my typing it simply takes up to much of my energy v illness. Now to touch on other stuff you said, not that it really belongs on Ops thread.

I cannot remember of the top of my head the minimum age for eg facebook/instagram (and their infamous no (bare) nipple policy regarding women..they argue the age is 14 (or is it 12 anyone) and if they changed their toc then it would curtail/prevent a large demographic portion of not being able to be on the sites imo as they like to hook their audience young and pliable revnue, do you not agree . And the furore regarding women breast feeding pictures. The disparity being they allow head chopping videos etc

I have already said elsewhere many times democracy does not exists in the USA or the UK. I do not really know the electoral system of every other country well to state the same.
I have already said elsewhere privacy is non existent in the USA we all know (well actually not many people do/did – they were just called conspiracy nutbags) all electronic data is dumped on server farms. I think that’s why they are so keen to tar and feather snowden etc.

Now let’s over look the fact most sites get out clause part 1 is what it says in text bit when you hit upload OK at a picture...they usually have an additional disclaimer in their TOC.

Age to join here 18 I think
Age to attend a club in the UK is 21 has that changed anyone? Is it same with munches. For disparity sake you can die for your country at 16 shoot and kill people in the name of war in the UK, but not be able to vote until you are 18 (Scotland is a little different we have 16 in the Scottish elections), or drink until you are 18. Seems something wrong here - you have the wherewithal (of mind body soul) to defend your country, be shot at, be tortured, killed and to kill, but you cannot vote for such matters, have a drink, partake being being spanked
TOR nodes doesn’t take a rocket scientists to work out many of these will be big brother working furiously to make it become more of their nodes than anyone else’s. Work cut out on that one methinks.



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