Use of Sir and Similar Names (Full Version)

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KimberGirl713 -> Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 4:03:30 PM)

So a question for anyone who reads this...

Why should I call someone Sir if I've never talked to them?

I get it, it's about respect, but when I get a message and I respond and then immediately get told I need to call them Sir, I no longer talk to that person.

My Opinion
I will call someone Sir, if, and only if, I have talked to them enough that I feel comfortable with them and we have discussed submission in any aspect of that relationship that has evolved. Respect has to be given, not demanded and I feel if you are telling me to call you Sir, you are telling me I also have to respect you.

Am I wrong for thinking this way? Is that a bad point of view?

I have had more and more had people message me and do just that, tell me (not even ask if I would be so kind) to call them Sir. Please, I don't know you!!! You can't go up to someone on the streets and tell them to do something or tell them to call you something for no reason, the internet is the same way! Just because I am a sub doesn't mean I am automatically your sub and have to do everything you ask or tell me to do.

To me it seems like it is younger "Doms" who think they are entitled to be called Sir or Master or whatever else by whomever they decide to message. To me Sir means there is some sort of relationship between two people because that usually implies that the sub has submitted to that person and it is a term used for respect and in some cases affection.

So again: Is this wrong?

Also, I'm kind of sorry if this offends anyone, but I just want other peoples opinions on this or let me know if you've had issues with this. And Doms, what are your thoughts about what I've said?




LadyPact -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 4:15:45 PM)

If that's all it takes to offend someone, I'd probably laugh.

Unless you're doing customer service or live in the South, chances are that nobody in your age range is going to get the "Sir" bit. Seriously? I generally don't "Sir" people half my age. I'm more likely to tell them that I've been doing WIITWD since before they had pubes.




LilJuly76 -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 4:24:44 PM)

you answered your own question, I feel that this new breed of Dominants if you want to call them Dominants have no clue what being an actual Dominant is all about and hence when they contact submissives especially us female ones online, they expect us to call them Sir or Master no matter what. I have no clue if this happens to male submissive though.




Wayward5oul -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 4:27:00 PM)

These are people who have some fantasy idea of what this lifestyle is about. But I usually do as they wish. I start calling them Sir Domass or Sir Dumbinant.




Dvr22999874 -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 4:30:50 PM)

or spell the 'sir' .......in an alternate way 'cur'




stef -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 4:58:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

you answered your own question, I feel that this new breed of Dominants if you want to call them Dominants have no clue what being an actual Dominant is all about and hence when they contact submissives especially us female ones online, they expect us to call them Sir or Master no matter what.

There is nothing new about this "breed". They have been around as long as bdsm has.




KimberGirl713 -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 5:07:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: stef


quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

you answered your own question, I feel that this new breed of Dominants if you want to call them Dominants have no clue what being an actual Dominant is all about and hence when they contact submissives especially us female ones online, they expect us to call them Sir or Master no matter what.

There is nothing new about this "breed". They have been around as long as bdsm has.



I definitely get it more from the younger "doms" than I do any of the older ones. I understand there are and probably always have been those who expect that from the get go but I have to agree with LilJuly76, that's even if you can call these people who act this way Doms.




mousekabob -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 5:08:15 PM)

They're called wankers. Ignore, move on.




ThatDizzyChick -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 5:53:53 PM)

quote:

Why should I call someone Sir if I've never talked to them?

No reason whatsoever.
quote:

Am I wrong for thinking this way?

No
quote:

Is that a bad point of view?

No




KimberGirl713 -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 6:26:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

Why should I call someone Sir if I've never talked to them?

No reason whatsoever.
quote:

Am I wrong for thinking this way?

No
quote:

Is that a bad point of view?

No


Thanks... I thought maybe I was missing something...




KimberGirl713 -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 6:36:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

Sir Domass or Sir Dumbinant.


Those are great!




DaddySatyr -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/1/2016 10:22:51 PM)


Hell, I don't like it when anyone calls me "Sir". My first semester back in school, before all the newbs realized I wasn't a professor, drove me nuts.

More to the point though: for quite some time I have bemoaned the death of courtesy and manners in our lives. I refer to anyone I don't know as "Sir" or "Ma'am" unless we've been introduced. Even then, if they give me their last name, I tend to go with: "Nice to meet you, Mr./Ms. Johnson".

I think there's a certain courtesy in addressing people how they wish to be addressed. I know it drives me nuts when I introduce myself to someone as "Michael" and as the handshake is dropping, they say "Mike" in a tone of voice as if they are correcting me. I don't think that's a whole lot to ask.

In this particular situation, the guy was way out of line. He demanded something that wasn't in his purview.

For what it's worth, had he engaged you for a little while and enticed you to actually converse with him and had he handled it a bit more tactfully and asked to address him in a specific way, I'm sure my opinion would be a bit different.



Michael




LilJuly76 -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/2/2016 3:25:40 AM)

no I mean the newer way of thinking as opposed to the old school Dominants that are more like gentlemen




LilJuly76 -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/2/2016 3:28:59 AM)

I always tell newer submissives especially female ones don't cater down to every tom dick and harry online, when you choose to be in a relationship with a Dominant than you call him/her whatever they want to be called, never mind this online crap of "go on your knees slave and call me Master!" a lot of them are young ones but at times an older newer Dominant creeps up as well.




longwayhome -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/2/2016 3:30:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KimberGirl713

So a question for anyone who reads this...

Why should I call someone Sir if I've never talked to them?




IMHO you shouldn't.

If you identify yourself as submissive, then the question is "are you everybody's submissive"? Are you willing to do anything someone says just because they say they are a Dom/me? If you are in a relationship with a Dom, do you really want to be deferring to other male dominants and calling them "Sir" in front of your partner.

The answer to all the above questions may be a resounding "yes", but you should at least give them careful thought.

That all becomes different if you develop the sort of friendship or relationship with someone where you acknowledge that they are dominant to you. At that point calling someone "Sir", or any other form of "superior" they prefer, seems perfectly sensible.

My line is simple - I may be submissive, but I'm not your submissive, unless I agree to be. I've got too much else going on in my life to be able to defer to everyone, especially people who feel entitled to special treatment over and above the natural respect I show to all other human beings.

On the other hand, if you really want to get with someone, you might be quite willing to call them "Sir", even if it is a bit presumptuous before really know someone.

Never have, but I suppose I might call someone "Madam" or "Ma'am" from the get go if they insisted and I wanted into their pants. Wouldn't rate the chances a relationship with someone who instructs me to call them "Madam" at first contact going very far, but if someone is really hot, it might be worth it.





crazyml -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/2/2016 9:18:14 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

Why should I call someone Sir if I've never talked to them?

No reason whatsoever.
quote:

Am I wrong for thinking this way?

No
quote:

Is that a bad point of view?

No


This'll do nicely




ResidentSadist -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/2/2016 11:07:25 PM)

"Am I wrong for thinking this way? Is that a bad point of view?"
No... but it never should have come this in the first place. The dude sounds like a wanker, but maybe you should have been more polite in the first place. If you "get it" that it is about respect, why did they have to ask you to call them Sir if your were being polite in the first place?




HisForLife71 -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/3/2016 9:11:05 AM)

I would never call anyone such a name, especially if they demand it. That kind of title is for a man I'm actually in a relationship with. I'm very respectful to my Dom of course, but any random dude speaking to me like that gets a piece of my mind very quickly. Sometimes politely, sometimes less so depending on their attitude.




UllrsIshtar -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/3/2016 11:42:02 AM)

Anytime anybody has to demand to addressed with a sign of respect, they're already lost the battle to actually gain the respect they're looking for.

People will naturally address people they respect in a way that feels respectful to them. If you've got somebody's respect, they will address you in a way which will reflect that they respect you. Which way that is will depend on the context, and the nature of your relationship with them (you will express respect different to your boss, than you would your mother, than you would a waitress).

When somebody demands that you artificially address them with a level of respect you don't feel, it shows that they care more about having you pretend that you respect them, instead of being somebody that you can actually respect.

In that case, just ignore them (unless you're dealing with a cop).




KimberGirl713 -> RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names (3/3/2016 1:00:50 PM)

Unless it's a cop. Haha that's great and true. Thank you 😊




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