Use of Sir and Similar Names

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Use of Sir and Similar Names

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Use of Sir and Similar Names

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 4:03:30 PM

KimberGirl713

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/27/2015
Status: offline

So a question for anyone who reads this...

Why should I call someone Sir if I've never talked to them?

I get it, it's about respect, but when I get a message and I respond and then immediately get told I need to call them Sir, I no longer talk to that person.

My Opinion
I will call someone Sir, if, and only if, I have talked to them enough that I feel comfortable with them and we have discussed submission in any aspect of that relationship that has evolved. Respect has to be given, not demanded and I feel if you are telling me to call you Sir, you are telling me I also have to respect you.

Am I wrong for thinking this way? Is that a bad point of view?

I have had more and more had people message me and do just that, tell me (not even ask if I would be so kind) to call them Sir. Please, I don't know you!!! You can't go up to someone on the streets and tell them to do something or tell them to call you something for no reason, the internet is the same way! Just because I am a sub doesn't mean I am automatically your sub and have to do everything you ask or tell me to do.

To me it seems like it is younger "Doms" who think they are entitled to be called Sir or Master or whatever else by whomever they decide to message. To me Sir means there is some sort of relationship between two people because that usually implies that the sub has submitted to that person and it is a term used for respect and in some cases affection.

So again: Is this wrong?

Also, I'm kind of sorry if this offends anyone, but I just want other peoples opinions on this or let me know if you've had issues with this. And Doms, what are your thoughts about what I've said?

Post #: 1

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 4:15:45 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

If that's all it takes to offend someone, I'd probably laugh.

Unless you're doing customer service or live in the South, chances are that nobody in your age range is going to get the "Sir" bit. Seriously? I generally don't "Sir" people half my age. I'm more likely to tell them that I've been doing WIITWD since before they had pubes.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to KimberGirl713)

Post #: 2

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 4:24:44 PM

LilJuly76

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

you answered your own question, I feel that this new breed of Dominants if you want to call them Dominants have no clue what being an actual Dominant is all about and hence when they contact submissives especially us female ones online, they expect us to call them Sir or Master no matter what. I have no clue if this happens to male submissive though.

(in reply to KimberGirl713)

Post #: 3

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 4:27:00 PM

Wayward5oul

Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline

These are people who have some fantasy idea of what this lifestyle is about. But I usually do as they wish. I start calling them Sir Domass or Sir Dumbinant.

(in reply to KimberGirl713)

Post #: 4

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 4:30:50 PM

Dvr22999874

Posts: 2849
Joined: 9/11/2008
Status: offline

or spell the 'sir' .......in an alternate way 'cur'

(in reply to Wayward5oul)

Post #: 5

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 4:58:15 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

you answered your own question, I feel that this new breed of Dominants if you want to call them Dominants have no clue what being an actual Dominant is all about and hence when they contact submissives especially us female ones online, they expect us to call them Sir or Master no matter what.

There is nothing new about this "breed". They have been around as long as bdsm has.

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to LilJuly76)

Post #: 6

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 5:07:30 PM

KimberGirl713

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/27/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: LilJuly76

you answered your own question, I feel that this new breed of Dominants if you want to call them Dominants have no clue what being an actual Dominant is all about and hence when they contact submissives especially us female ones online, they expect us to call them Sir or Master no matter what.

There is nothing new about this "breed". They have been around as long as bdsm has.

I definitely get it more from the younger "doms" than I do any of the older ones. I understand there are and probably always have been those who expect that from the get go but I have to agree with LilJuly76, that's even if you can call these people who act this way Doms.

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 7

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 5:08:15 PM

mousekabob

Posts: 187
Status: offline

They're called wankers. Ignore, move on.

_____________________________

aka littlewonder
------------------------
Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to KimberGirl713)

Post #: 8

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 5:53:53 PM

ThatDizzyChick

Posts: 5490
Status: offline

quote:

Why should I call someone Sir if I've never talked to them?

No reason whatsoever.

quote:

Am I wrong for thinking this way?

No

quote:

Is that a bad point of view?

No

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to mousekabob)

Post #: 9

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 6:26:12 PM

KimberGirl713

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/27/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

Why should I call someone Sir if I've never talked to them?

No reason whatsoever.

quote:

Am I wrong for thinking this way?

No

quote:

Is that a bad point of view?

No

Thanks... I thought maybe I was missing something...

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

Post #: 10

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 6:36:22 PM

KimberGirl713

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/27/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wayward5oul

Sir Domass or Sir Dumbinant.

Those are great!

(in reply to Wayward5oul)

Post #: 11

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/1/2016 10:22:51 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Hell, I don't like it when anyone calls me "Sir". My first semester back in school, before all the newbs realized I wasn't a professor, drove me nuts.

More to the point though: for quite some time I have bemoaned the death of courtesy and manners in our lives. I refer to anyone I don't know as "Sir" or "Ma'am" unless we've been introduced. Even then, if they give me their last name, I tend to go with: "Nice to meet you, Mr./Ms. Johnson".

I think there's a certain courtesy in addressing people how they wish to be addressed. I know it drives me nuts when I introduce myself to someone as "Michael" and as the handshake is dropping, they say "Mike" in a tone of voice as if they are correcting me. I don't think that's a whole lot to ask.

In this particular situation, the guy was way out of line. He demanded something that wasn't in his purview.

For what it's worth, had he engaged you for a little while and enticed you to actually converse with him and had he handled it a bit more tactfully and asked to address him in a specific way, I'm sure my opinion would be a bit different.

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to KimberGirl713)

Post #: 12

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/2/2016 3:25:40 AM

LilJuly76

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

no I mean the newer way of thinking as opposed to the old school Dominants that are more like gentlemen

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 13

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/2/2016 3:28:59 AM

LilJuly76

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
Status: offline

I always tell newer submissives especially female ones don't cater down to every tom dick and harry online, when you choose to be in a relationship with a Dominant than you call him/her whatever they want to be called, never mind this online crap of "go on your knees slave and call me Master!" a lot of them are young ones but at times an older newer Dominant creeps up as well.

(in reply to KimberGirl713)

Post #: 14

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/2/2016 3:30:10 AM

longwayhome

Posts: 1035
Joined: 1/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KimberGirl713

So a question for anyone who reads this...

Why should I call someone Sir if I've never talked to them?

IMHO you shouldn't.

If you identify yourself as submissive, then the question is "are you everybody's submissive"? Are you willing to do anything someone says just because they say they are a Dom/me? If you are in a relationship with a Dom, do you really want to be deferring to other male dominants and calling them "Sir" in front of your partner.

The answer to all the above questions may be a resounding "yes", but you should at least give them careful thought.

That all becomes different if you develop the sort of friendship or relationship with someone where you acknowledge that they are dominant to you. At that point calling someone "Sir", or any other form of "superior" they prefer, seems perfectly sensible.

My line is simple - I may be submissive, but I'm not your submissive, unless I agree to be. I've got too much else going on in my life to be able to defer to everyone, especially people who feel entitled to special treatment over and above the natural respect I show to all other human beings.

On the other hand, if you really want to get with someone, you might be quite willing to call them "Sir", even if it is a bit presumptuous before really know someone.

Never have, but I suppose I might call someone "Madam" or "Ma'am" from the get go if they insisted and I wanted into their pants. Wouldn't rate the chances a relationship with someone who instructs me to call them "Madam" at first contact going very far, but if someone is really hot, it might be worth it.

< Message edited by longwayhome -- 3/2/2016 3:33:21 AM >

(in reply to KimberGirl713)

Post #: 15

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/2/2016 9:18:14 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

quote:

Why should I call someone Sir if I've never talked to them?

No reason whatsoever.

quote:

Am I wrong for thinking this way?

No

quote:

Is that a bad point of view?

No

This'll do nicely

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to ThatDizzyChick)

Post #: 16

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/2/2016 11:07:25 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

"Am I wrong for thinking this way? Is that a bad point of view?"
No... but it never should have come this in the first place. The dude sounds like a wanker, but maybe you should have been more polite in the first place. If you "get it" that it is about respect, why did they have to ask you to call them Sir if your were being polite in the first place?

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to KimberGirl713)

Post #: 17

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/3/2016 9:11:05 AM

HisForLife71

Posts: 72
Joined: 3/3/2016
Status: offline

I would never call anyone such a name, especially if they demand it. That kind of title is for a man I'm actually in a relationship with. I'm very respectful to my Dom of course, but any random dude speaking to me like that gets a piece of my mind very quickly. Sometimes politely, sometimes less so depending on their attitude.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 18

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/3/2016 11:42:02 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

Anytime anybody has to demand to addressed with a sign of respect, they're already lost the battle to actually gain the respect they're looking for.

People will naturally address people they respect in a way that feels respectful to them. If you've got somebody's respect, they will address you in a way which will reflect that they respect you. Which way that is will depend on the context, and the nature of your relationship with them (you will express respect different to your boss, than you would your mother, than you would a waitress).

When somebody demands that you artificially address them with a level of respect you don't feel, it shows that they care more about having you pretend that you respect them, instead of being somebody that you can actually respect.

In that case, just ignore them (unless you're dealing with a cop).

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to KimberGirl713)

Post #: 19

RE: Use of Sir and Similar Names - 3/3/2016 1:00:50 PM

KimberGirl713

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/27/2015
Status: offline

Unless it's a cop. Haha that's great and true. Thank you 😊

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Use of Sir and Similar Names

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109