An observation or two

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An observation or two - 3/12/2016 7:56:23 AM

ChrchofDrk

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My wife and I were discussing, how some people involved in bdsm, say it's not about sex, but do nothing but talk about sex, say what they'll do to others sexually, with others saying what all they'd like done. So saying it isn't about sex, for some, is all bullshit. For us, it's really not about sex at all. Matter of fact, most of the time, I don't care about sex or having sex in the slightest. It's rather boring to me. But that's me and I'm totally honest about it. Some aren't. And I find that interesting.

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RE: An observation or two - 3/12/2016 9:45:50 AM

ThatDizzyChick

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It's about sex for me.

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RE: An observation or two - 3/12/2016 9:53:32 AM

dreamlady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick
It's about sex for me.

+1

I can't imagine having D/s ownership without the intimacy of sex, much less without love.

No non-sexual service sub(s) for me.

No casual play partners either.

DreamLady

ETA - And I do mean full-fledged sexual relations, not this half-arsed piecemeal or unidimensional routine of just fast-food quickies and fragmented sex acts.

< Message edited by dreamlady -- 3/12/2016 10:02:09 AM >

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RE: An observation or two - 3/12/2016 10:28:44 AM

Lucylastic

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I can play with others, but yeah sex is vital for a relationship...for me at least.
Caveat, my husband is more vital to me than sex. But its still important to him too.
I have no doubt its different from when I was younger...I dont want to lose the desire for sex, or lack of enjoyment. Im very likely to eventually, so Im gonna enjoy the hell out of it until it happens.

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RE: An observation or two - 3/12/2016 12:53:15 PM

LadyPact

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I do think it's funny how we are all different. I'm actually with you, OP. If I had a buck for every time I've said, "casual play, not casual sex" to make sure folks would get the drift, I could have a nice shopping spree. Swinging floggers, to me, isn't a sexual activity.

There's only been one person with whom it was always sexual to me. I pin that on the person that I was with at the time and the relationship, rather than the S/m. However, that's also the only person that I would prefer to play with him over anybody else and had no interest in casual play with other people. I was still on board with helping other people learn techniques and such. However, if it was just for fun, when I was in love with my submissive, I had no desire to play with anybody else.

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RE: An observation or two - 3/13/2016 12:06:52 AM

Greta75

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Yea, I always say bdsm is a sexual fetish. And I think "sex" does not mean exclusively to just penetrative sex. Whatever inspires sexual turn ons.

If a man can get off, just stroking the pantyhose on your legs. He cums just doing that. Does it mean it's not about sex? I mean it happens. And this man could have no desire to penetrate you for the rest of his life. That's all he likes to do.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 3/13/2016 12:08:34 AM >

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RE: An observation or two - 3/14/2016 9:56:50 AM

WilliamWizer

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Joined: 3/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChrchofDrk

My wife and I were discussing, how some people involved in bdsm, say it's not about sex, but do nothing but talk about sex, say what they'll do to others sexually, with others saying what all they'd like done. So saying it isn't about sex, for some, is all bullshit. For us, it's really not about sex at all. Matter of fact, most of the time, I don't care about sex or having sex in the slightest. It's rather boring to me. But that's me and I'm totally honest about it. Some aren't. And I find that interesting.

I just wanted to point you at something. BDSM isn't about sex but contains sex on it. to make a comparative BDSM relationships are like a vanilla marriage. they have sex but they aren't only sex.

the reason some people do nothing but talk about sex when they say BDSM is not about sex is because a lifestyle relationship includes everything a vanilla relationship has PLUS a big broadening in what's acceptable/desirable. even if the lifestyle's main focus isn't sex it's no surprise we talk about it since it's where the more noticeable difference between both kinds of relationships lays.

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