Can one truly submit online?

Can one truly submit online? (Full Version)

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mistoferin -> Can one truly submit online? (12/1/2004 10:51:38 AM)
Let me first say that i am in NO way trying to be disrespectful to anyone in asking this question, i ask only because i truly do not understand. I have been reading alot on the boards here about online relationships and i just can not understand exactly how this works as i have always been real time and have not had online experiences. I guess that what i am wondering is where true submission comes into play. Is it when you agree to partake....or does that happen when you are at the point that you feel that you physically just can't do it but make a conscious decision to continue? I realize that when you are online, or even on the phone for that matter, a Dominant can require you to do things to yourself. The part that i don't understand is how does one push themselves and truly submit? I know that in real time during play, there are times when my body is literally screaming in pain and all of my senses are frantically trying to get me to shut down. This is the time that i truly have to focus on my submission and that this is something i choose to give. When the urge to shut one's legs for instance is so strong, in real life Master is there watching my every reaction and taking it all in.....he comes to my face....touches my cheek and looks in my eyes, reminds me that i am ok and that i am safe....and then says to me that we are going to continue on and push just a little more. I know that for me i could not push myself past that point with out His help. How does one get beyond it and truly submit at that moment online? If your experience is online only, how do you know if you are truly submissive? It seems there is a huge difference in talking about a fantasy and actually feeling the physical sensations of having something done to you. I could talk about it all day long but without actually feeling what it is like physically how would i know if i were submissve? It seems it would be easy to talk about something painful but until you have the actual sensation of pain that is so bad that you feel as though you might go crazy from it and you still make that conscious decision to continue giving of yourself.....how would you really know if you could really submit to that depth real time? Not to mention subspace.....does one go into subspace online and if so how do you continue once you hit it? I know that for me, once i enter space i am basically not in control of my thoughts or functions. How does one continue to type? Once again, i truly am not asking to be offensive to anyone in any way or to make light of anyone's relationship, i only ask to better understand.

esclava -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/1/2004 11:18:36 AM)
This is an interesting question and I look forward to reading the replies. I have always pursued RT. I like to feel. I've always wondered how online subs are disciplined.

proudsub -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/1/2004 12:00:02 PM)
quote: This is an interesting question and I look forward to reading the replies. I have always pursued RT. I like to feel. I've always wondered how online subs are disciplined. Here are just a few of the many threads on this. The last one is directed at punishment: can o/l work online relationships to all with online subs

INSIDEYOURMIND -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/1/2004 2:01:53 PM)
I think this topic has 9 lives, just when I think we have beaten it to death.................. It rises from the ashes, and breathes again! I am not getting on my soapbox here, but I am against any type of "online" domination or submission, it can't really be a relationship, because it ain't real! There is a time and place for being online, but when it comes to my relationship, I think I'll take the real thing anytime, and give me a side order of touching and feeling too! Let's see how it goes: Me: Now do as I say... Her, or maybe him, it's online so ya never know for sure: OK, Master, I'll do anything for you... Me: Are we having fun yet?..... Her or some 12 year old kid, it's online so ya never know: Oh yes Master, Hit me harder..... Me: Would you like to do this for real?.... Her, or whatever, it's online so ya never really know: For real?, are you kidding me, this is too sick and perverted to do for real, plus I am sure my husband/wife/mother/father wouldn't approve! It's online, so ya never really know!

SentForu -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/1/2004 2:22:51 PM)
quote: Let's see how it goes: Me: Now do as I say... Her, or maybe him, it's online so ya never know for sure: OK, Master, I'll do anything for you... Me: Are we having fun yet?..... Her or some 12 year old kid, it's online so ya never know: Oh yes Master, Hit me harder..... Me: Would you like to do this for real?.... Her, or whatever, it's online so ya never really know: For real?, are you kidding me, this is too sick and perverted to do for real, plus I am sure my husband/wife/mother/father wouldn't approve! It's online, so ya never really know! LMAO, no one has ever gotten it that close. I completely agree.

esclava -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/1/2004 2:55:15 PM)
lol @ nine lives

MrThorns -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/1/2004 3:20:53 PM)
(Nothing like giving a dead horse a few more swats...just to be sure.) Can one submit online? Sure. I've started thinking of it a lot like paying taxes at the end of the year. Can you follow the instructions provided to you by the IRS? I mean.. the IRS isn't actually there to watch you fill out the forms, there's a very good chance that you could make a few creative deductions and no one would be the wiser. You could get away with it. But either your integrity, or the fear of getting caught, keeps you somewhat honest. (This is a newly emerging epiphany...so bear with me if it's not quite complete.) No...you never know for sure if someone is who they say they are, or if they are following instructions...besides, there's a lot more to submission than just following instructions. There is a lot of trust involved, just as in offline relationships. It seems to me that there are just different areas in which to place your trust... or rather, areas that require closer examination, because if you fuck up online, you can always choose to ignore the person who hurt you, find a forum full of people sympathetic to your plight and describe in great length all of the atrocities you had to endure, or simply change your online "nic" and move on. An offline fuck up can result in a ticket to jail, the hospital, or the morgue. Anyway...I'll work on the epiphany. ~Thorns

houndguy -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/2/2004 3:03:11 AM)
If submission is a matter of trust and we trust our submissive then yes, I say it is possible. However it does not beat the real thing of course. What worries me is new doms or subs start online, then meet up in real time and don't releaize that the bull whip does indeed take practice and hurts like hell. I think online Dom/sub relationships should be treated as educational. Particulary if your working with a novice. Provide links and articles for them to read, and test there knowledge. For example: If your training someone and you provide them with info on Gor. Wait a couple of days and ask them if there in "nadu" position? Ask them what it is and have them describe it. This way you get the best of both worlds. A girl that is interested and willing to learn, and a possible partner in the future. And if you never meet at least you have provide the submissive with enough information to arm herself against the wanna-be's and sexual perverts out there. My two cents anyway.

Nvernilla -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/2/2004 9:28:13 AM)
I've never understood these online relationships or how they can be satisfactory. I have heard of some who have done them for years though so I have no doubt that some are very satisfied in them. I think it must be just that though, it depends on the people involved, and their creativity with it...Mike

masteroffire -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/3/2004 2:29:32 PM)
This is a subject that one should probably not ask on this forum. It is a good appropriate topic, but most seem to have a dim view of online Ds. I think it depends, if one is looking for an online relationship and for it to go no further, than I don't see the point. If it is a situation where the sub is interested but doesn't know where to start, I know of more than one person whose first Ds relationship was online, and either turned into a RL situation or they found someone else who turned it into one. I believe it is best if someone is met online to begin the relationship online, to get to know each other. I tend to babble, my point is this. If it is used as a means to get to know someone better, or as a way to start out and get to know more, than yes it can work out. If it is to be a long term online relationship, I honestly don't believe it can work out, but I will leave that answer to those who are interested in this type of relationship.

masterLon3446 -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/5/2004 7:39:39 AM)
Well one old mans opinion, Have you ever pretended to be something your not? Other obligations get in the way, For instance being married to a nilla wife, But, Longing to control a submissive. You see in virtual time people can be anything they want to be, Without the responsibility. They are what they seem to be in virtualtime, But, As soon as they turn off the computer they go back to thier vanilla lives and for get about virtual time. Some folks claim they are what they are in realtime as well as virtual time, Of course there is no true way of proving this, Unless you know them in realtime. I think virtual time is a good place to pretend to be something your not or something you wish you could be, aka, Fantacy, (excuse the spelling). Most do not want to take the time to learn the lifestyle and just be egotists, (to be a dom) or to be a subby ( just be passive) ...So pretend, Just pretend, To be something other than what you are or wish you could be, Is there true submission in virtual time? Depends on your mindset...For a short time, (while the computer is on) Yes!!!!!!!! MasterLon

proudsub -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/5/2004 10:10:38 AM)
quote: For a short time, (while the computer is on) Yes!!!!!!!! I disagree here. When i was in an online relationship learning this lifestyle i spent a lot of time offline doing things my dom had asked me to do. There were times when i wasn't eager to follow his instructions but i did because i wanted to be honest with him and know the feeling of submission. Of course there was a lot of fantacizing while i did the things he asked. I never "pretended" anything except for the fantasy that he was there with me while i follwed his instructions.[:D]

masterLon3446 -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/6/2004 2:38:57 PM)
quote: I disagree here. When i was in an online relationship learning this lifestyle i spent a lot of time offline doing things my dom had asked me to do. There were times when i wasn't eager to follow his instructions but i did because i wanted to be honest with him and know the feeling of submission. Of course there was a lot of fantacizing while i did the things he asked. I never "pretended" anything except for the fantasy that he was there with me while i follwed his instructions. This is your opinion, What you have done and I respect it, Many do not, as soon as that computer goes off, All that was said and done means little, Until the next time the computer is turned back on...How do I know? By asking those that used have a cyber sub/slave that are now realtimers...Of course there will always be exceptions ... One old mans opinion MasterLon

darkinshadows -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/6/2004 3:23:35 PM)
Having seen this type of thread come up over and over, and thinking deeply about such, Angel has truely come to the conclusion(IMO) that online D/s.... even cyber sex is just another fetish within the world... if people gain something through it... why judge people? If its a five minute wonder, let people be. I don't see why people feel the need to ridicule what they don't, and don't wish to understand. We all need a good laugh at times... but laugh with not at... thats an unconsensual act after all, is it not?

MC2044 -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/10/2004 2:39:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: proudsub quote: For a short time, (while the computer is on) Yes!!!!!!!! I disagree here. When i was in an online relationship learning this lifestyle i spent a lot of time offline doing things my dom had asked me to do. There were times when i wasn't eager to follow his instructions but i did because i wanted to be honest with him and know the feeling of submission. Of course there was a lot of fantacizing while i did the things he asked. I never "pretended" anything except for the fantasy that he was there with me while i follwed his instructions.[:D] Good for you proudsub. Trust is always an issue with online communication. It sounds like you can be trusted.

MC2044 -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/10/2004 2:40:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: masterLon3446 Well one old mans opinion, Have you ever pretended to be something your not? Other obligations get in the way, For instance being married to a nilla wife, But, Longing to control a submissive. You see in virtual time people can be anything they want to be, Without the responsibility. They are what they seem to be in virtualtime, But, As soon as they turn off the computer they go back to thier vanilla lives and for get about virtual time. Some folks claim they are what they are in realtime as well as virtual time, Of course there is no true way of proving this, Unless you know them in realtime. I think virtual time is a good place to pretend to be something your not or something you wish you could be, aka, Fantacy, (excuse the spelling). Most do not want to take the time to learn the lifestyle and just be egotists, (to be a dom) or to be a subby ( just be passive) ...So pretend, Just pretend, To be something other than what you are or wish you could be, Is there true submission in virtual time? Depends on your mindset...For a short time, (while the computer is on) Yes!!!!!!!! MasterLon MasterLon, I think you said it best. The answer is yes, depending upon your mindset.

proudsub -> RE: Can one truly submit online? (12/10/2004 2:50:24 PM)
quote: Good for you proudsub. Trust is always an issue with online communication. It sounds like you can be trusted. Thank you, but if you knew my whole story, as many here do, you may think otherwise. Yes i was always honest with my online dom and my first r/l dom, but not with my hubby.

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