A public apology (Full Version)

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betataster -> A public apology (3/24/2016 11:10:34 PM)

There is someone on this site that I need to apologize to. I had kind of a weird day today and have not been at my best and I did something creepy. I didn't really mean for it to be creepy but it was, so I apologize. I'm not trying to make an excuse for myself, just a bit of an explanation. My apology is sincere and without reservation.




MuscleBoundDom -> RE: A public apology (3/24/2016 11:15:43 PM)

People blast me on the forums all the time. No need to apologize.




DaddySatyr -> RE: A public apology (3/24/2016 11:39:44 PM)


Kudos to you, beta.

I have long had an issue with and spoken out about this kind of behavior. Believing, as I do, that private apologies for public offenses are a cowards way out, you've earned a bit of respect from me, today. Not "respect" in the way people throw it around, when they mean "courtesy". I mean I admire the cut of your jib.



Michael




FieryOpal -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 5:15:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I have long had an issue with and spoken out about this kind of behavior. Believing, as I do, that private apologies for public offenses are a cowards way out, you've earned a bit of respect from me, today.


It might not have been a public offense, but be that as it may, an apology is an apology whether done privately or publicly as long as it is intended in the right spirit with contrition. A slight or faux pas isn't as significant as an outright insult. Then there are deliberate slurs and verbal sucker punches which are not redeemable by apology alone, but I'll assume this doesn't apply here.

On the other hand, if an insult is delivered publicly, then I would let that person know that I deserved an equal opportunity to exhibit my graciousness in pardoning the offender in public. [:D]

OP, unless you were so uncouth as to provide unwelcomed nekkid pics of yourself, doing whatever it is that uncouth jerks do in disseminating repugnant sights which can't be unseen (which I feel no need to elaborate upon), I wouldn't sweat it. Nobody's perfect, and we all slip up from time to time.

See how easy that was? I wish more men could swallow their false sense of pride and make the same kind of gentlemanly effort to make amends as you have.




betataster -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 5:18:47 AM)

Thank you all for the kind words.




betataster -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 6:49:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom

People blast me on the forums all the time. No need to apologize.


Actually, in this case, a genuine apology Is warranted. There was no ill intent on my part, just thoughtlessness, and I hope the other party realizes that but my communication definitely came across as creepy and could easily be construed as stalkerish. If I had been firing on all cylinders yesterday, I would have realized that instead of dashing off the first thing that came into my head. Since I can't take it back, this is the best I can do.




WickedsDesire -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 8:47:18 AM)

Accepted We are all huwman.


Preferably give the apology, no string attached one, to them in the appropriate forum and name in bold. I have did that once, or was it twice, in 12 ish years here.




LadyPact -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 10:42:18 AM)

Why a public apology? I'm guessing that if you are using words like creepy, stalker, etc, whoever this was blocked you in private. If it was a little thing, it wouldn't have had to be a big display on the forums so people would think you look good.

Very cool manipulation for "stalkerish" behavior.




betataster -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 10:46:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Why a public apology? I'm guessing that if you are using words like creepy, stalker, etc, whoever this was blocked you in private. If it was a little thing, it wouldn't have had to be a big display on the forums so people would think you look good.

Very cool manipulation for "stalkerish" behavior.



Meh.I wanted to apologize and I did. You can read into it that you care to.




LadyPact -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 10:53:33 AM)

I did and I will.

I find it ridiculous that I should have to explain codes of conduct to someone old enough to be my father.




betataster -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 11:01:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I did and I will.

I find it ridiculous that I should have to explain codes of conduct to someone old enough to be my father.



Again, meh.




LadyPact -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 11:46:12 AM)

I guess we just have a difference of opinion about stalking and consent violations.




betataster -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 12:52:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I guess we just have a difference of opinion about stalking and consent violations.



That is a total straw man proposition. I had a snarky comeback all keyed up and ready to go but my phone glitched and I lost it. That is just as well, I'm not really interested in defending myself from a straw man accusation.

No, what I read you as objecting to was my posting a public apology. You seemed to take umbrage to some supposed benefit in reputation that I get from it. I could care less about any benefit to my reputation. I did it to repair, or perhaps partially repair, a rift between myself and someone that I respect. More, I did it because I was in the wrong and owed the other party an apology. This, in my opinion, was the best way to accomplish that. I am completely indifferent to your opinion on that matter.

I am completely uninterested in arguing anything with you in this thread.




LadyPact -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 1:08:25 PM)

You labeled yourself as a stalker/stalkerish behavior. Not me.




betataster -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 1:19:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

You labeled yourself as a stalker/stalkerish behavior. Not me.



So your objection is some perceived benefit to me essentially resulting from an inappropriate communication? That is a fair assessment. So no argument from me there. Collateral issue. Given that I will not be changing my mind as to this being the best way to tender my apology, I really don't know what else I can do besides take my lumps from you on that issue. Not taking lumps because I condone stalking or stalkerish behavior, because I don't, but taking lumps for any benefit from my lapse in judgment.




LadyPact -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 1:51:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster
So your objection is some perceived benefit to me essentially resulting from an inappropriate communication? That is a fair assessment. So no argument from me there. Collateral issue. Given that I will not be changing my mind as to this being the best way to tender my apology, I really don't know what else I can do besides take my lumps from you on that issue. Not taking lumps because I condone stalking or stalkerish behavior, because I don't, but taking lumps for any benefit from my lapse in judgment.


Well, at least we agree on something.

I mean, I've seen you hit on people on the boards, say you will try to push their preferences, etc. How hard is "don't do that".

You say "lapse in judgement". OK. I say "conscious decision".





betataster -> RE: A public apology (3/25/2016 2:00:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: betataster
So your objection is some perceived benefit to me essentially resulting from an inappropriate communication? That is a fair assessment. So no argument from me there. Collateral issue. Given that I will not be changing my mind as to this being the best way to tender my apology, I really don't know what else I can do besides take my lumps from you on that issue. Not taking lumps because I condone stalking or stalkerish behavior, because I don't, but taking lumps for any benefit from my lapse in judgment.


Well, at least we agree on something.

I mean, I've seen you hit on people on the boards, say you will try to push their preferences, etc. How hard is "don't do that".

You say "lapse in judgement". OK. I say "conscious decision".




Okay, we are on the same page then re the benefit issue. As regards the other, I hear you.




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