RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (Full Version)

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experiment2 -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/3/2016 4:33:35 PM)

NO! Frget any thoughts of a double standard



thompsonx -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/3/2016 5:27:27 PM)


ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

I don't know, at work I use both "boys" and "girls" all the time as in "What are you boys/girls having?" and nobody bats an eye.


If you are hawt we don't care what you call us so long as you talk to us.



dcnovice -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/3/2016 9:32:58 PM)

quote:

Is "boy" a more acceptable term when referring to men, vs. calling a lady "girl"?

I'd tread warily before using either term with folks I don't know. I can't imagine ever calling an African-American stranger "boy," given how loaded that word is historically.



DocStrange -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/3/2016 9:44:56 PM)

I am not offended by the term boy.

Boy is often used in a group environment when there is a group task or goal to be done. The term boy in this context is meant more as a team member similar to a sports team. You have a group moving towards a common goal. "Saddle up boys, this is the work we need to get done today"



dcnovice -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/3/2016 9:47:17 PM)

FR

A few thoughts on the use of "Mr.":

(a) For a few years after college, I was a volunteer ESL/GED teacher at an adult ed. center here in D.C. One class included a very dignified gentleman several decades my senior. I asked whether he'd prefer his first name or "Mr. _____." He requested the latter, so that's what I used.

(b) Before my health imploded, I was a weekend guide at the Woodrow Wilson House, where the former President and his second wife, Edith Bolling Wilson, lived after leaving the White House. Even in casual conversation with other guides, I can't bring myself to use the Wilsons' first names. It's always "the President" and "Mrs. Wilson." I don't think I've ever referred to "Woodrow," and certainly not in front of visitors. The only times I mention "Edith" is if I need to distinguish her from Wilson's first wife, Ellen. Even then, it's likely to be "Edith Wilson."

(c) During my many hospital stays, I've always felt a bit uncomfortable calling nurses by their first names when they address me as "Mr. _____." But that's the custom of the country, and I roll with it. I did have one nurse who introduced herself as "Mrs. White," so I called her that.



SweetlySadistic1 -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/4/2016 2:36:57 PM)

I will affectionately call my sub my boy but, otherwise, I try not to use "boy" in reference to a man. Or "girl" in reference to a woman. What irks me is that the men who refer to women as girls would shit themselves if we called them boys. Hypocritical much?



Eayore -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/4/2016 4:17:48 PM)

I think the context and the attitude are far more important than the word itself, in determining whether "boy" is an offensive way to describe an adult male. Having said that, "boys" used for a group seems fine in most cases while calling a man a "boy" is OK in some situations, but would sound odd in others.



AtUrCervix -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/4/2016 5:56:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


From time to time it's pointed out on here and other forums that referring to women as "girls" and men as "boys" is potentially offensive. (of course, in a consensual power exchange situation or an agreed relationship, perhaps either can be used as a term of endearment and understood by both people).

Adult men in professional team sports (I am specifically talking about NHL/hockey but I am sure it does crossover into other sports) call each other "boys," almost to the point of having it in every.single.sentence when talking to their teammates on the bench, lockeroom, etc. They never say, "guys" and they never say "gents" or "gentleman!"

It's "Come on, boys," and "We got this, boys," etc.

Is "boy" a more acceptable term when referring to men, vs. calling a lady "girl"?




I'm offended.



mousekabob -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/4/2016 5:59:01 PM)

when I call a man a boy and a woman a girl, it means they're either extremely young or they are men or women acting like they are extremely young. The last is not meant as a compliment when I say it.



AtUrCervix -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/4/2016 6:09:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AtUrCervix


quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


From time to time it's pointed out on here and other forums that referring to women as "girls" and men as "boys" is potentially offensive. (of course, in a consensual power exchange situation or an agreed relationship, perhaps either can be used as a term of endearment and understood by both people).

Adult men in professional team sports (I am specifically talking about NHL/hockey but I am sure it does crossover into other sports) call each other "boys," almost to the point of having it in every.single.sentence when talking to their teammates on the bench, lockeroom, etc. They never say, "guys" and they never say "gents" or "gentleman!"

It's "Come on, boys," and "We got this, boys," etc.

Is "boy" a more acceptable term when referring to men, vs. calling a lady "girl"?




I'm offended.


I am soooo unbelievably upset about this....it's hard for me to speak at the moment.

Literally...my lips can't move.



shiftyw -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/4/2016 7:47:39 PM)

I say girls and boys all the time, I can see how its offensive and it's probably a bad habit of mine.
Maybe I'll work on fixing it. Maybe.



Wayward5oul -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/4/2016 8:18:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetlySadistic
What irks me is that the men who refer to women as girls would shit themselves if we called them boys. Hypocritical much?

If someone messages me and said something like 'hey girl' or even worse, 'hey gurl' I always reply back with 'hey boy'. They don't really take kindly to that.



DarkSteven -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/4/2016 8:45:44 PM)

I believe that, in the leather scene, the terms girl and boy are universally used for subs.

I think it's also common in ageplay.

Outside of those examples, I would tread carefully.



satanscharmer -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/4/2016 10:38:19 PM)

I believe it can offend some. It comes across as condescending - to me, at least.

It does not bother me at all if my partner calls me 'girl' but anyone else doing so does irritate me.



dreamofdaddy -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/8/2016 11:00:48 PM)

I guess different people have different opinions on this.
When I say "boy" it means one lacking maturity, to put it as basically as I can, as in "oh you silly little boy" . I use it with a negative tone. To sum up generally, I want a man, not a boy.
Girl is fine. No offence taken at being called a girl at all.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/9/2016 10:06:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

Is "boy" a more acceptable term when referring to men, vs. calling a lady "girl"?

I'd tread warily before using either term with folks I don't know. I can't imagine ever calling an African-American stranger "boy," given how loaded that word is historically.


Yep.




Awareness -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/9/2016 1:20:26 PM)

Women use the word "boys" to attempt to diminish or emasculate a man. When men use the word "boys" it's an aspect of camaraderie and group experience.

In contrast, "girl" implies someone is young and feminine. I'll refer to Kaliko as "my girl" upon occasion.

The reasons are simple. Masculinity is about dominance and protection - a boy is never going to do that effectively as a man, which is why women use it as an insult.

Femininity is about fertility and nurture. Consequently "girl" is an appellation that implies a woman is young and nubile - positive characteristics.

I keep saying this, but the androgynous nutcases keep trying to deny it - men and women are very different with very different attributes. Those which are good for a man to possess are not necessarily good for a woman to possess.

What is truly ironic is that so many women have decided that masculine attributes are the worthwhile ones and that a refusal to see THEM as possessing those attributes is sexism.

How internalised is your sexism if you fail to value those attributes which most strongly define you and your gender?



vincentML -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/9/2016 1:23:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamofdaddy

I guess different people have different opinions on this.
When I say "boy" it means one lacking maturity, to put it as basically as I can, as in "oh you silly little boy" . I use it with a negative tone. To sum up generally, I want a man, not a boy.
Girl is fine. No offence taken at being called a girl at all.

It depends on the power dynamic between the speaker and the listener.



Awareness -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/9/2016 1:25:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

Is "boy" a more acceptable term when referring to men, vs. calling a lady "girl"?

I'd tread warily before using either term with folks I don't know. I can't imagine ever calling an African-American stranger "boy," given how loaded that word is historically.
Funny you should mention that - that actually happened in Australia in the 70's with a TV personality called Bert Newton and.... Muhammed Ali.


quote:

At the 1979 Logies awards Newton said to Muhammad Ali "I like the boy", not knowing that "boy" could be taken as a racial slur. Ali responded "Did he call me Roy?" and members of the audience, including Don Lane, shouted to Newton to say "Yes, Roy". Newton looked puzzled and later explained to the media that he did not realise that "boy" was used as a racial slur. Ali at least realised Newton's use was unintended and they kissed and made up. Newton also made light of the incident by saying: "I'll change my name, my religion ... anything.", referring to Ali's change of name from Cassius Clay when he adopted Islam in 1964.



Insult isn't just a specific word or set of words. It's informed by context and intent.




lthrpup -> RE: Is the term "boys" when referring to men offensive? (4/9/2016 6:17:42 PM)

Context and tone determine if I find being called "boy" offensive. And a person would have to be very condescending before it bothered me.



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