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ORIGINAL: Gliese876

What the dying really regret

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ORIGINAL: mousekabob

I can't imagine my body being the thing I regret while on my deathbed. My biggest regret now and forever will always be not being a better parent and partner. While alive, yes, I'd like to look good and have a better body...but to regret it while dying? Not a chance.

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ORIGINAL: Greta75

FR
I am not dead yet and I had six packs growing up, not a flab on my body, toned everywhere, and was the fastest runner in my school, but I was just double size of regular Asian women who are all super tiny and petite, yet I let my own mother convinced me that my body was disgusting and I was obese and disgusting overweight and need to stop eating, she would put me on 7 days, no food but lemon water diet, and pills for food, thinking I was just too fat, and this was like between 10 to 12 yr old, and I was so depressed and couldn't even look at the mirror. I was constantly tormented about my body.

I'm not even dead yet and I wonder why other people want me to feel disgusted about my own body, especially my own mom, and I regret not enjoying the best shape of my life proudly. I spent it hanging my head down in shame, everyday. Questioning, I work out so hard, why is my body still so shit!

I remembered one time, and this was years later, my girlfriend who heard about my mom issues, met my mom, and she laughed out so loud. I ask her, what's so funny? She just said, look at you and look at your mom. She is so jealous of your body. Would a woman truly fat shame her own daughter her entire life just because she is jealous? That would be crazy. My mom used to do it in a way, where, when she'd tell me when she was my age, she's way skinnier than me, that I am too fat for my age group, I seriously need to stop eating.

But I think I have no regrets other than that. Because, I will always tell anybody who I love that I love them. I will treasure everybody that I love like it's their last day on earth. I have always lived like that. And I will rather tell someone I love him and be rejected than never let him know he is loved. I've always been like that. I think I will have no regrets towards my actions towards people I care about.

But I already regret allowing people to make me feel lousy about my body. I regret not wearing all the short skirts and beautiful dresses I dream to wear when I was a teenager because I believed everything my mom told me about me. I instead hide my body in baggy jeans and baggy shirts.

These days, I don't let negative feelings about my body stop me from wearing dresses I love that I think is beautiful. But body issues are very difficult to not let it affect you.

This article is great, it's a wake up call to me again.

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ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

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ORIGINAL: mousekabob

I can't imagine my body being the thing I regret while on my deathbed. My biggest regret now and forever will always be not being a better parent and partner. While alive, yes, I'd like to look good and have a better body...but to regret it while dying? Not a chance.

I think you're missing the point though. It isn't regret about one's body, per se. It's the regret of how she allowed others dictate how she felt about her own body and the regret of not living a life embracing who she was as a whole instead of how she appeared on the outside.

As for what you regret now? Can you honestly say that as a parent and/or a partner you acted out of spite or hatred? Anger perhaps, fear perhaps, maybe even weakness, but I'd be willing to bet that at the core, how you are as a parent and partner is a loving one.

I think everyone has regrets of some kind, but it really isn't good to hold onto them. (And yes, I have regrets, but I'm striving to let go and not hold on to them. :)

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ORIGINAL: mousekabob

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ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD

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ORIGINAL: mousekabob

I can't imagine my body being the thing I regret while on my deathbed. My biggest regret now and forever will always be not being a better parent and partner. While alive, yes, I'd like to look good and have a better body...but to regret it while dying? Not a chance.

I think you're missing the point though. It isn't regret about one's body, per se. It's the regret of how she allowed others dictate how she felt about her own body and the regret of not living a life embracing who she was as a whole instead of how she appeared on the outside.

As for what you regret now? Can you honestly say that as a parent and/or a partner you acted out of spite or hatred? Anger perhaps, fear perhaps, maybe even weakness, but I'd be willing to bet that at the core, how you are as a parent and partner is a loving one.

I think everyone has regrets of some kind, but it really isn't good to hold onto them. (And yes, I have regrets, but I'm striving to let go and not hold on to them. :)

Have I acted out of spite or fear or anger? Yes to all three. Have I regretted all of those? Yes. I always will. Those things have destroyed relationships that I will never ever get back no matter how loving a parent or partner I am now.

As for how others dictated how I feel about my body. It's still just a body, a cavity, a vessel, nothing more, no matter how much someone felt I should feel about it. On my deathbed that won't matter. My relationship with that person will however.