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Greta75 -> RE: Advice Please (4/12/2016 7:17:20 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Blondebimbo87
So today i asked Sir if he gave a shit about me and his response was 'as a person yes but as a sub no', how would you take this?
Is that answer bad?
That's a good answer to me.
It's quite similar to how it was like between me and my x-dom. He doesn't give a shit about me as a sub. But he loves me to death as his girlfriend and his fiancee.
It depends on the dynamic of the D/S.
In our dynamic, when we are dominant and sub, his an asshole. If I need love, I get it from him when his my vanilla boyfriend.
I'm kinda surprise some women here say they will be devastated by that.
But again, how the D/S dynamic is like is very important.
My x-dom was not a caring dominant. When his domming, his a total asshole who couldn't care less about my feelings. That's what safe words are for. If things get too hurtful and crazy, close the game, and get your loving boyfriend back.
I guess it depends on how people process it. Some process it as the guy is still the dominant, but is performing after care. But for me, I like this way better. Because I need to know his just playing a role when his being an asshole. Whereas when he snaps back to the regular guy, his a caring and loving man and not really an asshole.
But I guess my x-dom always made it clear that, when his in dom mode, he wouldn't care about how I feel, what I want, my existence is just to please him, I would be completely treated as just an sexual object for his pleasure and dehumanised. So frankly, although it's 24/7 d/s but my safe word is a time out from that personality of his. To get some reassurance that the man who loves and care for me is still there. So in a way, there is no after care, unless I safe word to require it. We would have continue day to day with this tyrannical personality of his ha!
I wonder if your dom is the same way.
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