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Uncertain. - 4/13/2016 12:38:01 AM

CptBiggles

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/6/2016
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Hi.
I am really uncertain about myself. Sometimes I feel as if I would like to live as a slave or a sub. I have no idea what I reaaly want and would like to be able to seperate fantasy from reality. My question is are there personality / behaviour questionaires available that give you a good understanding of your personality type.

I do not want to approach people and end up wasting their time or embarrasing myself.

Thank you for the consideration of my enquiry.

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RE: Uncertain. - 4/13/2016 2:38:40 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I don't know what you mean by linking personality types and BDSM.
The only personality test I know of is Meyer Briggs,

But you seem to imply that slaves and subs are totally different creatures. And that's not true.

I know slaves who are dominant at work, leading departments, managing people.
I know people who are dominant in their private lives who rightfully can't be trusted to run an ice cream truck.

It's relationship specific. With one person you may not be willing to do anything but bottom. With another you would feel fine giving them control of your spending habits but you wouldn't trust them to pick your clothes. With someone else you will feel fine letting them make any decision.

What do you envision a typical day being? Including work, family, housework. Are you okay being told to put the chicken back when you're halfway through dinner prep because they're tired of chicken? Are you okay being told only brown rice and whole wheat bread or do you not want that to be under your partner's control? Don't think in terms of playing all day because unless you just won the powerball that won't happen.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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RE: Uncertain. - 4/13/2016 3:05:19 AM

epiphiny43

Posts: 688
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

Try reading The New Bottoming Book, by Easton and Hardy. Instead of trying to figure out who you are, suddenly, normally not quite done in a lifetime, try to figure out what would be interesting, hot or educational to experience. Repeat what energizes you, or your imagination. Try something else when it seems like a better idea. Only the adolescent or delusional think life won't change or be dynamic in ways you'd never imagine. Run like the wind from retentives and narcissists who try to tell you there is only one way to do anything, particularly Power Exchange. Don't let their blinders-on view of what are infinite possibilities ruin your relationships too. What's right is what works for the people involved. And since it's Adult Play, you get to change the rules whenever different rules seem a better idea.
TRY shit! It's always different than you've imagined. Sometimes better, often, meh.

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RE: Uncertain. - 4/13/2016 3:29:08 AM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CptBiggles

Hi.
I am really uncertain about myself. Sometimes I feel as if I would like to live as a slave or a sub. I have no idea what I reaaly want and would like to be able to seperate fantasy from reality. My question is are there personality / behaviour questionaires available that give you a good understanding of your personality type.

I do not want to approach people and end up wasting their time or embarrasing myself.

Thank you for the consideration of my enquiry.

Two excellent posts from the previous posters.

We had a very long thread recently where someone tried (and failed abysmally) to link 'personality types' with certain so-called 'inherent behaviour' patterns.
Bottom line?? It's a bunch of crud to be ignored. Seriously.

Take note of what the other two posters have said - wise advice.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

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RE: Uncertain. - 4/13/2016 4:40:48 AM

CptBiggles

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/6/2016
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Thanks for your replies. I will give your questions some thought and read what you suggest. I will reply tomorrow.

Thanks again.

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RE: Uncertain. - 4/30/2016 11:11:51 PM

CptBiggles

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/6/2016
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Hi thank you for both your replies. I have done quite a bit of thinking of late. I have escaped from various narcissisic relationships from within my family. I did not realise how damaging these people are until I severed all contact with them. It took some counselling and from your resposnes I have been looking at things the wrong way and imagining things as they should not be.

Even though I have strong submissive desires, it is obvious that I also have dominant tendencies otherwise I would not have escaped from narcissic people. One of them has been diagnosed as belonging to that family of disorders.

From my perspective other inner parts of me that had been supressed or denied opportunity to be expressed are coming to the surface. I think the term switch may be more accurate.

Thanks again.

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RE: Uncertain. - 5/1/2016 4:12:13 AM

LilJuly76

Posts: 1245
Joined: 1/9/2016
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"escaping" from narcissistic family members has nothing to do with being Dominant, it means you choose not to associate with those kinds of people, family or not. One of my siblings is very narcissistic and only cares about herself not anybody else or anything else going around her. For years I couldn't associate with her because I'm not like that, but that was my decision, it has nothing to do with having dominant tendencies.

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