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LadyPact -> RE: How to approach a Mistress (4/26/2016 12:20:22 PM)
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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
I've got another line of thinking on this.
For the sake of conversation, I'll offer an opinion.
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OP is from India. A few open ended questions to the regulars here:
This is going to be similar to what I had to say on another thread here: http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4902658
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1) How many femdoms (relationship-seeking) do we see here on CM from India?
I have absolutely no idea. I do mention on the other thread that I feel for the conundrum because this is by no stretch of the imagination the easiest solution to find.
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2) If the answer to #1 is "none" or "uh...less than five?" or anything close to that, OP has to consider a long distance relationship which will lead to real life. Tough call.
Which puts the OP in the exact same position of thousand of random guys on the internet.
I always wonder about how the numbers play out. How many female Dominants are really willing to sort out all of those emails they get and actually spend the time to weed these folks out on the chance it's going to lead to something? Especially for a long distance thing, when the main target audience (at least on this site) are in the United States or in the UK. Most of which can explore their kinks in person, if they should choose.
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3) If OP is seeking experimentation, i.e. email training or whatever with a "potential" for real life, that's a whole other animal
Wow. Experimentation on cam. [8|] How many women are willing to do that without some kind of equalizer? I'm not generally the person who suggests pay for play in many circumstances but this might fit the category. My other thought would be student visa. Get where the kink is and improve the odds.
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4) If OP is seeking just casual play, I am not sure what the BDSM casual scene is in India, or pro domme scene. No idea.
That's what I said on the other thread. Pros visiting Dubai must make a fortune. [:D]
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So here are my thoughts. I would love to hear if people think this is insane.
If a sub is from a country like India and is open to a long distance relationship with potential for life-long romance, he has to be ready for a courtship over email/skype with an eye to eventual meeting.
He has to make his profile explain this in a way that is interesting, mature, believable. As a femdom in the US, if I were single and semi open minded about it, I would be more interested in a profile that explains that - otherwise, it's just "a random sub in India probably looking for hot emails who will go POOF after a couple of weeks."
That's the problem, right there.
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So how do you do that? Tell me about India, tell me about how you would make this courtship over email happen, tell me about your hobbies, show me you have thought this through. "I realize my location is a barrier, here is how I would approach this." Or tell me something fascinating about where you live. "I have done my research here, I can tell you about the BDSM scene in India -- it's like this:"
You're onto a decent idea here. A cultural information exchange might be a fascinating thing to some people. (Depending on the other person's curiosity level.) THAT has value rather than the hundred other guys saying, "satisfy my kinks". In such a situation, a person has to stand out from the crowd.
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What is the end game? "I know this is a pipe dream; It would be exciting to get to know a dominant woman and develop something over email and Skype with an aim to meeting - I can travel or host, and while there is no rush, please note that I am serious. I would be thrilled to introduce a lady to my home town, where you would see x, y and z (describe what it is like there - be interesting!).
Yeah, but a person has to be willing to travel or host. I'm not seeing the OP being in these positions.
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Or I would be happy to travel eventually to your home country - (maybe describe in 1 or 2 lines what you imagine the US, UK or another country to be like, "I have always wondered what it would be like to set foot on US soil and maybe take in....." (people from these countries may get a chuckle or find it endearing. At the very least it's interesting.
Better than the average. I'll give you that.
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Here's the thing. If the OP is not seriously putting gears in motion to either host or travel, if his end game is a relationship (in person) with a femdom, he is screwed.
Agreed.
This is probably an entire different thread, but some time back, I came to the conclusion that one of my "love languages" is, am I willing to travel to YOU? (For D/s type things, of course.) If I'm not putting forth that effort, you (general you) might want to realize just how low you are on the totem poll. Very astute of you.
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I hope this take on the situation may help others who live in far, far away countries that have limited BDSM scene.
The main theme here: If you are the OP or in a similar situation, have you thought it through? What's the best case scenario? How do you achieve that?
Akasha
You do remember that I used to live in middle of nowhere Alaska. [;)]
It's about effort. What are you willing to do that is different than anybody else? Does that mean travel? It might.
Most sub males on the internet have to stand out in some way. Usually, that means *doing* something.
Hopefully, this contributes to the discussion. [:)]
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