gentle coercion (Full Version)

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betaalpha -> gentle coercion (4/20/2016 3:41:02 AM)

I would be interested in hearing peoples thoughts on gentle coercion. For me
its extremely erotic... kind of like forced confessions, and hypnosis. Consensual
non consent. I realize that hypnosis is misunderstood by many and don't wish to cloud the issue.
Is this as erotic to others as it is to me?




BondageersT -> RE: gentle coercion (4/20/2016 5:16:13 AM)

coercion works for me, hypno does not. xx




DesFIP -> RE: gentle coercion (4/20/2016 2:02:53 PM)

If someone's coerced, then where's the consent?




ThatDizzyChick -> RE: gentle coercion (4/20/2016 5:40:44 PM)


What the fuck is "gentle coercion"




FieryOpal -> RE: gentle coercion (4/20/2016 7:56:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: betaalpha

I would be interested in hearing peoples thoughts on gentle coercion. For me
its extremely erotic... kind of like forced confessions, and hypnosis. Consensual
non consent. I realize that hypnosis is misunderstood by many and don't wish to cloud the issue.

"Gentle coercion" sounds a lot like manipulation to me, overstepping the powers of persuasion.

There is nothing "gentle" about consensual non-consent, and "forced" anything is fake, fake, fake.

Your profile is currently offline, but I am guessing you are a submissive male. If putting on a pretend act blows your dress up, and that's what your partner also gets into, then play BDSM to your heart's content.

Just don't kid yourself into believing this is actually about D/s.

Hypnosis has to do with suggestibility and it involves willful consent operating on a subliminal level. There is no such thing as make-believe hypnosis aside from making believe that you are in a hypnotic trance when you are not.

quote:

Is this as erotic to others as it is to me?

No, not at all.




LadyPact -> RE: gentle coercion (4/20/2016 7:59:27 PM)

Speaking of coercion. what was your former screen name here?




littleclip -> RE: gentle coercion (4/20/2016 8:18:12 PM)

i just attended a class on erotic hypnosis that is erotic and very satisfying to me as a submissive . coercion is not that speaks of non consent if you have some soft limits and want to explore them then do so




wannapleez -> RE: gentle coercion (4/22/2016 9:54:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
There is nothing "gentle" about consensual non-consent, and "forced" anything is fake, fake, fake.


Depending on definitions, I would beg to differ.

While I would set hard limits, there are many things within those bounds that I would not freely choose (or maybe even like) to do. But I do them, because obeying is the proper thing to do (and I often get a rush from the submission, too). Perhaps it isn't technically "forced" since I gave carte blanche consent (within the restrictions of the hard limits). But it certainly feels forced, given that it's way outside my comfort zone (though inside the hard limits).

This dynamic, to me, defines the best kind of D/s relationship, where the sub trusts the Domme so fully that his soft limits go away.




AAkasha -> RE: gentle coercion (4/22/2016 12:49:37 PM)


Serious question as an aside then: Is seduction a form of coercion and therefore not consensual?


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If someone's coerced, then where's the consent?





ThatDizzyChick -> RE: gentle coercion (4/22/2016 4:04:34 PM)

quote:

Is seduction a form of coercion and therefore not consensual?

No. Seduction is persuasion and so always involves consent.




FieryOpal -> RE: gentle coercion (4/22/2016 6:52:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: wannapleez
quote:

ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
There is nothing "gentle" about consensual non-consent, and "forced" anything is fake, fake, fake.

Depending on definitions, I would beg to differ.

While I would set hard limits, there are many things within those bounds that I would not freely choose (or maybe even like) to do. But I do them, because obeying is the proper thing to do (and I often get a rush from the submission, too). Perhaps it isn't technically "forced" since I gave carte blanche consent (within the restrictions of the hard limits). But it certainly feels forced, given that it's way outside my comfort zone (though inside the hard limits).

This dynamic, to me, defines the best kind of D/s relationship, where the sub trusts the Domme so fully that his soft limits go away.

For clarification purposes, a "gentle" approach would involve persuasion. (It could also involve overt manipulation, or a kind of seductive lure -- covert, on the other hand, is akin to "tricking" or scheming to coerce somebody to act contrary to their will if s/he caught wind of another's intentions or their hidden agenda.)

"Forced" is in apostrophes for a reason. It is not being forced for real and is what the other person wants to do without having to take personal responsibility for their own wants, needs and desires. In certain instances, it can turn into a fun, teasing/taunting game of "I know this is what you really want [me] to do [to you]."

As a game, though, both parties must still be on board with how "forced" acts play out. Typically, a sub who says he wants "forced" fem or "forced" bi, does wants these kinks "imposed" upon him, so they would NOT be Soft Limits. To me, a Soft Limit is something a person hates to do and doesn't want to do, short of being a Hard Limit deal breaker. Depending on how Soft it is, I tend to find these useful when a situation arises which calls for serious disciplinary measures, or to hold up as a warning for a zero-tolerance infraction (assuming such a transgression falls short of being a deal breaker).

If a sub enjoys being punished by getting spanked, then that isn't suitable for discipline and will have the opposite effect of encouraging disobedient behavior. Spanking, and possibly Corner Time, would have to be a Soft[er] Limit which the sub hates or has a pronounced aversion to.

You may be more pliable where your Soft Limits are concerned, but others are not. I personally would not want my sub's Soft Limits to go away -- that would remove tools from my toolbox. [:D]




seekingOwnertoo -> RE: gentle coercion (4/24/2016 1:47:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: betaalpha

I would be interested in hearing peoples thoughts on gentle coercion. For me
its extremely erotic... kind of like forced confessions, and hypnosis. Consensual
non consent. I realize that hypnosis is misunderstood by many and don't wish to cloud the issue.
Is this as erotic to others as it is to me?



Then I read this ...

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


Serious question as an aside then: Is seduction a form of coercion and therefore not consensual?




AAkasha, I am thinking the same thing. What the OP is suggesting is seduction ...

And in my mind, seduction is MORE THAn implied consent ... its seduce and take me Darling!


When both parties want it, and one is hesitant (due to inexperience)

IT IS SEDUCTION! Yum! [:)] [:)] [:)]









FieryOpal -> RE: gentle coercion (4/24/2016 7:00:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Serious question as an aside then: Is seduction a form of coercion and therefore not consensual?

What the OP is suggesting is seduction ...

I did not interpret the OP as suggesting that he finds it "extremely erotic" to be seduced into giving a forced confession. Where would seduction enter the picture with this? Not only that, seduction is not confined to the domain of the Dominant -- a submissive is equally capable of acting seductive. Seduction is not D/s - it is very much a vanilla practice - and has nothing to do with CNC-Consensual NonConsent. [8|]

(BTW, I saw earlier that he is a submissive male once there was no website error in viewing profiles.)

He did not elaborate on hypnosis, but if he meant Erotic Hypnosis as covered in littleclip's class, coercion would be the antithesis of any hypnotic induction. The ANTITHESIS.

Seduction nearly always follows allure and enticement. Not force and not coercion. ThatDizzyChick has stated "No. Seduction is persuasion and so always involves consent" between two consenting adults.

IMO, it is potentially dangerous to blur the lines between being persuaded/encouraged to be a willing participant, and being coerced or beguiled/deceived (as in tricked) into participation against one's will.




crumpets -> RE: gentle coercion (4/25/2016 8:29:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: betaalpha
Is this as erotic to others as it is to me?

Personally, I find it erotic to be told to do things that I would do anyway (e.g., being instructed, under consent, to eagerly please a worthy woman to her complete satisfaction, for one), but, it's almost impossible for me to grasp what you mean by "gentle coercion" without some concrete example to hang my visual thoughts upon.

For "me", gentle coercion would be being told to do what I'd do without "gently forced acts" anyway, just to make someone happy - where the coercion is just for her own personal pleasure in the theatrics of it all; but for you, "gentle coercion" may mean something completely different from what you'd do anyway.

But, if it's really coercion, then gentle doesn't seem to fit the model all that well because for coercion to be coercion, it pretty much must be something that you don't already want to do.

So then, how is *that* erotic?
Dunno. I'm not that type of sub; so, that's why I muse here aloud.

quote:

ORIGINAL: betaalpha
I would be interested in hearing peoples thoughts on gentle coercion.

There is a clever oxymoron and a redundancy, both wrapped up in just those two words!
[image]http://dailyvocab.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/coercion.jpg[/image]
Like everyone else, I have to ponder what "gentle coercion" means, given that coercion already implies force.
quote:

ORIGINAL: betaalpha
For me its extremely erotic...

As noted, you're probably a guy, where almost anything that involves kink or sex is "extremely erotic".

Nothing wrong with that (it is what it is); but we'd still need to figure out what's erotic about it for you - at least in order for us to compare if we feel the same as you do when confronted with the same stimuli.

Do you have a specific story or more concrete example or vignette of how you feel this "gentle coercion" would work in an encounter between two kinksters?
quote:

ORIGINAL: betaalpha
kind of like forced confessions

Dunno on that.

A "forced confession" in and of itself doesn't sound like "gentle coercion" to me.
Sounds more like "forced coercion" to me - which - if we expand the terms - is simply "forced forced acts".

Maybe the OP can clarify?

quote:

ORIGINAL: betaalpha
and hypnosis.


Is hypnosis real?

Dunno if it is ... lemme see what the pundits think ... (google click .... skim ... google ... click ... click)... Hmmmm....
  • American Psychological Association: The first task for many psychologists who use hypnosis is telling patients what hypnosis is and what it isn’t.
    quote:


    "If you watch hypnosis on TV, the subject always ends up clucking like a chicken, being naked or assassinating a president," ... Hypnosis works and the empirical support is unequivocal in that regard. ... Hypnosis can create a highly relaxed state of inner concentration and focused attention for patients, and the technique can be tailored to different treatment methods, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy. Patients also can become more empowered by learning to hypnotize themselves at home to reduce chronic pain, improve sleep, or alleviate some symptoms of depression or anxiety."


  • Penn State: Probing Question: Does hypnosis work?
    quote:


    researchers learned that 95 percent of people can be hypnotized to some extent (with most scoring in the midrange on the Stanford Scale) and that "an individual's score—reflecting the ability to respond to hypnosis—remains remarkably stable over time.



  • British Psychological Society: Neuroscience gets serious about hypnosis
    quote:


    Hypnosis is synonymous with stage entertainment where the performer puts volunteers from the audience into a trance and commands them to do embarrassing things. This makes it sound like a joke, but in fact hypnosis is a real phenomenon


    I guess just mentioning the word "hypnosis" is fraught with difficulty because just skimming those three papers (the first three Google hits they were), shows that it would take me an entire day just to figure out what hypnosis is, and what it isn't, to me.

    Up until this moment, I had thought of hypnosis as "group think", akin to what "The Amazing" Kreskin once said, which was:
    quote:

    "Using suggestion, I could never make someone do something he didn't want to do. But it's different in a crowd," says Kreskin. "Psychologists don't know why, but somehow the level of morality is lowered and responsibility is lost."


    IMHO, Kreskin knew the power of what I'd call "group think"; but peer pressure loses its power reverse exponentially.

    In contrast, this "hypnosis" things appears to be a one-on-one phenomenon, which, I'll let the OP clarify further.

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: betaalpha
    I realize that hypnosis is misunderstood by many and don't wish to cloud the issue.

    If we don't know the definition of hypnosis, it's misunderstood by everyone.

    Given there probably isn't a unique definition, what is "your" working definition of what "you" mean when you use the word "hypnosis"?

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: betaalpha
    Consensual non consent.

    Oh oh ... you just opened Pandora's box.
    Quick. Shut it!
    Hurry up! Shut that damned thing now!

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: FieryOpal
    There is no such thing as make-believe hypnosis aside from making believe that you are in a hypnotic trance when you are not.


    I'm glad you have a handle on hypnosis, as your logical thought process is something we can all hang our hats upon to be relied on.

    I, myself, haven't much thought about what it is and what it isn't; but it's hard to understand anything the OP is saying without understanding what the OP means by the terms used.

    Doing some homework to catch up with the OP, it's clear from skimming the first few hits that the first thing we'd all have to do is iron out what the OP means by "hypnosis" before we can even think of taking it further.

  • Psychology Glossary: Hypnosis[/link
    quote:


    Hypnosis is a temporary state of heightened relaxation and suggestibility during which some (not all) people are able to become so focused that they experience imaginary happenings as if they were real. Hypnosis is not some trans-like, magical state in which people will engage in behaviors that are completely against their "normal, non-hynotized" will.

    People often believe that a hypnotist can make you do things you would never do, like take your clothes off and run around a crowded room naked. If you would not do this when you are not hypnotized, then you would not do it when you are hypnotized. However, if there is some part of you that would....well then, that may be a different story.


  • [link=http://www.apa.org/topics/hypnosis]American Psychological Association: Hypnosis
    quote:

    Hypnosis is a therapeutic technique in which clinicians make suggestions to individuals who have undergone a procedure designed to relax them and focus their minds.

    Although hypnosis has been controversial, most clinicians now agree it can be a powerful, effective therapeutic technique for a wide range of conditions, including pain, anxiety and mood disorders. Hypnosis can also help people change their habits, such as quitting smoking.


  • What Is Hypnosis?
    quote:


    hypnosis as a cooperative interaction in which the participant responds to the suggestions of the hypnotist. ...The experience of hypnosis can vary dramatically from one person to another. Some hypnotized individuals report feeling a sense of detachment or extreme relaxation during the hypnotic state while others even feel that their actions seem to occur outside of their conscious volition.

    Other individuals may remain fully aware and able to carry out conversations while under hypnosis.


    [image]http://www.ducati.ms/forums/attachments/sport-classic/89357d1304870630-desmo-chain-covers-kreskin.jpg[/image]

    In the end, amidst the tremendous confusion, I get the nagging impression that the OP may simply have the age-old repressed sexual do-me-sub desires, where, it may be, the OP is just expressing this desire for an admittedly very understanding and altruistic top to "gently convince" the OP to experience that which the OP is already convinced he wants to experience.

    In shorter summary ... unless further clarification is forthcoming, it seems pretty much like run-of-the-mill topping from the bottom to me.


    (But I'm open to learning more about the OP's need so that's just a hazy impression at this point in time.)




  • AAkasha -> RE: gentle coercion (4/26/2016 11:35:54 AM)


    This was starting to become a really interesting conversation, hopefully it did not suffer the fate of a 'thread killer' type post that is so long and full of links and photos that people fall asleep.

    When I was in my 20s, I was very keen on the process of seduction - coercion? I dunno. Things like going out to an alternative dance club (NOT a bdsm club, but an industrial, gothic type dance club, so there's a bit of crossover) and "picking up" a pretty goth boy (vanilla? kinky? impossible to know) and seducing him into enduring some bondage, light pain, whatever. Either in the club in a little nook or on a date the following few days. These are men not seeking to be tied up, endure some light pain or humiliation, etc.

    When I would post about it (ah, back in the alt.sex.femdom days on Usenet!), sometimes I got pushback. From older femdoms (i.e. I was the youngish - 20s femdom, these were women with much more experience and worldliness), and also from subs ("Why would you waste time with vanilla guys when you can dominate meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!") -- and lots of debate about the ethics. After all, were these guys not enduring this "stuff" for ulterior reasons? They did not SEEK it out? Were they being manipulated?

    Brings me back to my original question: Is seduction unethical?

    There is something in my wiring - as a sadist - that makes me crave seeing a man endure suffering/humiliation that he does not necessarily seek out, but would endure to make me happy/turned on. Meaning, he's MORE turned on / motivated by my arousal and pleasure than his own comfort. Key things like him saying, "I would NEVER do that for anyone but you," or "It was difficult but seeing how it made you feel made it SO WORTH IT!" and etc. Most of all, "I would do it again for you."

    There are some subs/masochists with a distinct "wiring" that is something like this: They don't LIKE the pain, humiliation, helplessness per se -- but, they LOVE the experience of having a woman take delight in their suffering. So it's a trade off.

    I have found these are the men I connect with. Every time.

    Akasha




    crumpets -> RE: gentle coercion (4/26/2016 6:51:05 PM)


    quote:

    ORIGINAL: AAkasha
    This was starting to become a really interesting conversation, hopefully it did not suffer the fate of a 'thread killer' type post that is so long and full of links and photos that people fall asleep.


    I think you define "conversation" as not including the OP because the one-hit wonder who asks a too-general question which just begs for clarification, isn't clarifying anything to date.

    So, I think you wholly missed (as usual) where the risks you worry about lie.




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