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Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/8/2016 12:09:39 PM   
Shandirra


Posts: 196
Joined: 11/28/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I see a Forum set up for Polyamorous Lifestyles.

I realize that monogamy is fairly rare within the 'scene'. I'd just like to see fair time given to those who'd like to discuss it without impinging or offending others whose opinions are more suited to poly.

Who would be able to implement such a change? To whit; setting up such a Forum?

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/8/2016 12:16:50 PM   
WhoreMods


Posts: 10691
Joined: 5/6/2016
Status: offline 		Um, is it that rare within the scene? I really don't get the impression that those who aren't claiming to be polygamists, or after casual kinky sex aren't interested in a long term monogamous relationship.

(in reply to Shandirra)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/8/2016 12:22:57 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I don't know if you'd be interested in this: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4888101/tm.htm#


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to WhoreMods)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/8/2016 1:02:24 PM   
littleclip


Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
Status: offline 		monogamy is not a new thing in the western world where the poly is relatively new. i have met many who are on this site that are in a mono relationship and kinky be it hetro or homo they are partnered and stay that way. the forums could be looked at as all but the poly forum is not poly so i dont see mono as being less frequent here or in real life.

_____________________________

currently owned by LadyAthena15805
i will always come to the call of those i love


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/8/2016 1:09:17 PM   
Shandirra


Posts: 196
Joined: 11/28/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhoreMods

Um, is it that rare within the scene?


Exceedingly rare, from my observations and experience. Hence, why I'm still single.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I don't know if you'd be interested in this: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4888101/tm.htm#



Thank you LP for the contributory thread. I gave it a quick perusal. I have to say that simply because something is a standard norm and poly isn't, doesn't mean that there can't be equal time given to the topic. Monogamous based people have unique issues all their own to deal with.

I'd just like to see a separate Forum so monogamous people can discuss issues particular to their lifestyle.

*edited for clarity*

< Message edited by Shandirra -- 5/8/2016 1:19:07 PM >

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!

(in reply to WhoreMods)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/8/2016 1:47:42 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

I'd just like to see a separate Forum so monogamous people can discuss issues particular to their lifestyle.

From what I gather about this site it ain't going to happen.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to Shandirra)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/8/2016 1:56:27 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shandirra

I'd just like to see a separate Forum so monogamous people can discuss issues particular to their lifestyle.



ThatDizzyChick is correct, it's unlikely that that will happen.

Not only will it probably not happen, but having such a forum would also not prevent people who are not monogamous from posting there, as anybody can post anywhere they like (just like Masters can post in "Ask a Mistress" etc, etc).

Considering that poly people will be able to post in the mono forum as well (just like mono people can post in the poly) there isn't going to be a lot to be gained from such an extra forum section. Most sections on this forum are already, effectively, death, usually not getting any posts at all for weeks, if not months.

A separate monogamy forum will suffer the same faith: it will get almost no posts, and it wouldn't be worth posting to, or reading it, because there wouldn't be enough traffic to sustain it.

Instead, I'd advice you to start a thread in the "General BDSM Discussion" forum about anything related to monogamy you would like to discuss. You've got a much better chance that such a thread will actually be active, and generate good discussion, than if you where to make it on a specific monogamy section.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Shandirra)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/8/2016 1:56:33 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shandirra
Thank you LP for the contributory thread. I gave it a quick perusal. I have to say that simply because something is a standard norm and poly isn't, doesn't mean that there can't be equal time given to the topic. Monogamous based people have unique issues all their own to deal with.

You are quite welcome.

I would absolutely agree that I would like to see more discussions from those who practice monogamy. (Not all of us poly folk discount the mono types, I can assure you.)

Being the pessimist that I am, I'm not sure I could say much about "equal time". Just like we poly's don't kick folks out of the poly section for being mono, I would hate to think the mono's would not enjoy conversation with the poly folks.

quote:

I'd just like to see a separate Forum so monogamous people can discuss issues particular to their lifestyle.

*edited for clarity*

Unfortunately, I couldn't say any forums would be expanded. I'm sure a lot of folks would like to see (particularly) a section for tops and bottoms, pet play, and other things. I'm just not sure TPTB are willing to expand.

Which, sadly, I'm afraid, is your recourse for any changes that you might feel would be beneficial. Any hope of additional sections lies with Admin/site owner. It's like asking your local doughnut shop if they might be interested in expanding their business to include rotating tires.

In the meantime, welcome to the forums, such as they are. Nice to meet you.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Shandirra)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/8/2016 2:21:22 PM   
Shandirra


Posts: 196
Joined: 11/28/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

A separate monogamy forum will suffer the same faith: it will get almost no posts, and it wouldn't be worth posting to, or reading it, because there wouldn't be enough traffic to sustain it.


I attribute this, and I may be incorrect in my estimation, that there's a lesser amount of contributors on the Forums here than on FL. Whereas FL may literally have millions of people using the site worldwide, I'm gathering that CM is numbering in perhaps hundreds of thousands, if that, worldwide. So, I see your point and agree after reading your explanation.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Unfortunately, I couldn't say any forums would be expanded. I'm sure a lot of folks would like to see (particularly) a section for tops and bottoms, pet play, and other things. I'm just not sure TPTB are willing to expand.


See my reply to @UllrsIshtar.


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It's like asking your local doughnut shop if they might be interested in expanding their business to include rotating tires.


Y'know... If you're going make me snort cola through my nose at my screen, I may have to charge you for cleaning services.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In the meantime, welcome to the forums, such as they are. Nice to meet you.


*tips hat to LP* Thankee kindly. Pleasure's mine.

_____________________________

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting..."Wow! What a ride!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/8/2016 3:11:49 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Shandirra
I attribute this, and I may be incorrect in my estimation, that there's a lesser amount of contributors on the Forums here than on FL. Whereas FL may literally have millions of people using the site worldwide, I'm gathering that CM is numbering in perhaps hundreds of thousands, if that, worldwide. So, I see your point and agree after reading your explanation.

You're quite generous in your estimation. As the numbers dwindle, certain (specialty) forums aren't what they once were. I was participating on a thread on the Gorean forum earlier today and it made me think of this exact thing. So few Goreans, or Leathers, or furries, or much in various categories. If the "Ask A Switch" forum were a movie theater, they don't have enough butter to pop corn.

quote:

Y'know... If you're going make me snort cola through my nose at my screen, I may have to charge you for cleaning services.

Wait until it becomes vanilla ice cream or orange juice. (I hear the latter burns like a b^tch.) Even leather people can be funny on a good day.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In the meantime, welcome to the forums, such as they are. Nice to meet you.


*tips hat to LP* Thankee kindly. Pleasure's mine.

Much appreciated. Welcome to the merry band of misfits.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Shandirra)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/9/2016 2:49:22 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I haven't found monogamy to be rare in the "lifestyle" at all.

Since monogamy is the default for our society, management does not see the need to have a special forum for that. So, even though it's not difficult to add a forum area, they see no need for it.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/9/2016 3:36:07 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline
quote:

or orange juice. (I hear the latter burns like a b^tch.)

Why yes, yes it does. And not in a sexy way.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/9/2016 5:44:04 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Since monogamy is the default for our society,


Clearly you have never read about humans throughout history, up to and including yesterday, today, and tomorrow (and for the next ten thousand years)...

What you "think" is monogamy, is merely a facade.

Ask John F. Kennedy, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, Warren G. Harding, Dwight Eisenhower, Lyndon Johnson, Bill Clinton, etc., and those are just the presidents.

Then ask Rupert Sanders, Tiger Woods, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jesse James, Ashton Kutcher, Robin Thicke, Big Sean, Tony Parker, Brad Pitt, Simon Cowell, Rupert Sanders, Tony Parker, Billy Bob Thornton, etc., and those are just the recent actors.

Then, ask Donald Trump, Eliott Spitzer, Anthony Weiner, David Petraeus, Larry Criag, Gary Condit, Mark Sanford, Jim Mcgreevey, Davit Vitter, John Edwards, etc., and that's just the political hopefuls.

Then ask the guy across the street, and the one next door to your left, and then the one to your right, and, oh, don't forget the house behind you while you're taking down statistics.

Anyone who knows anything whatsoever about humans, knows that the written described system and the actual unwritten system are two different beasts altogether.

Luckily for the millions of hookers, the real supply-and-demand system is nothing like the one you describe.


_____________________________

I am a born follower - I faithfully take your lead - whether you are truly worthy - or - whether you are far less so - I key off your words - instinctively reflecting your tone in my every response. It's how I'm wired.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/9/2016 6:08:26 PM   
ThatDizzyChick


Posts: 5490
Status: offline 		And clearly you cannot read.

_____________________________

Not your average bimbo.

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/9/2016 10:19:49 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Since monogamy is the default for our society,


Clearly you have never read about humans throughout history, up to and including yesterday, today, and tomorrow (and for the next ten thousand years)...

What you "think" is monogamy, is merely a facade.

Ask John F. Kennedy, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, Warren G. Harding, Dwight Eisenhower, Lyndon Johnson, Bill Clinton, etc., and those are just the presidents.

Then ask Rupert Sanders, Tiger Woods, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jesse James, Ashton Kutcher, Robin Thicke, Big Sean, Tony Parker, Brad Pitt, Simon Cowell, Rupert Sanders, Tony Parker, Billy Bob Thornton, etc., and those are just the recent actors.

Then, ask Donald Trump, Eliott Spitzer, Anthony Weiner, David Petraeus, Larry Criag, Gary Condit, Mark Sanford, Jim Mcgreevey, Davit Vitter, John Edwards, etc., and that's just the political hopefuls.

Then ask the guy across the street, and the one next door to your left, and then the one to your right, and, oh, don't forget the house behind you while you're taking down statistics.

Anyone who knows anything whatsoever about humans, knows that the written described system and the actual unwritten system are two different beasts altogether.

Luckily for the millions of hookers, the real supply-and-demand system is nothing like the one you describe.


Blah, blah, blah....regardless of how people behave...monogamy is the default of our society. The expectation for the majority of today's society is that people will have a monogamous relationship. There aren'tmany people that go into marriage thinking "Oh, whatever, I'll just fuck whoever I want".

Management of this site has discussed this request before and has decided that the default of society is monogamy so a forum is not necessary... all of your examples of cheaters won't change that.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 5/9/2016 11:01:38 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to crumpets)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/9/2016 11:33:45 PM   
crumpets


Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Blah, blah, blah....regardless of how people behave...monogamy is the default of our society.

I think it's quaint that you actually believe that, which is perfectly fine.
I'm all for fantasy.
Who am I to take away religion, for example, from people.
Or conspiracy theories.
Let the people have their dreams, I say.
But those who have eyes to see, know it to be a myth.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
The expectation for the majority of today's society is that people will have a monogamous relationship.

Maybe you've never been on a business trip with a dozen guys to a conference town?
(Ask the Secret Service what happens on a typical business trip, for example.)

I envy you.
Ignorance is sheer bliss.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
There aren'tmany people that go into marriage thinking "Oh, whatever, I'll just fuck whoever I want".

That's the first sentence you've said that shows you do have at least two neurons in your brain (which is the minimum functional unit, given that a synapse can only fire if two brain cells are involved).

Certainly most people go into the marriage thinking that.
However, there's a reason the marriage "contract" exists.

The contract is to enforce what would otherwise likely not happen.
And, when it does happen, the contract protects the weaker party (for the most part) from financial and protective harm.

Has as it ever occurred to you WHY the government is even involved at all in the entire MARRIAGE-CONTRACT business?

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Management of this site has discussed this request before and has decided that the default of society is monogamy so a forum is not necessary... all of your examples of cheaters won't change that.


Two things won't change no matter what you or I "chatter":
  • This site isn't gonna add selection criteria (and I'm not one clamoring for it, since it would be useless anyway)
  • The FUNCTIONAL state of monogamy in humans is the same today as it was ten thousand years ago and is the same as it will be ten thousand years from now

    Nothing you or I say or think will change what actually is.


    _____________________________

    I am a born follower - I faithfully take your lead - whether you are truly worthy - or - whether you are far less so - I key off your words - instinctively reflecting your tone in my every response. It's how I'm wired.

    (in reply to OsideGirl)
    • Profile   Post #: 16
    RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/10/2016 11:59:16 AM   
    OsideGirl


    Posts: 14441
    Joined: 7/1/2005
    From: United States
    Status: offline     		See, the issue here is that you're talking about what people do vs. what they say and what society expects.

    I'm telling you what the management of this site says and believes.

    You can argue with me all you want about whether it is or isn't correct.....but, it's not going to change their view.



    _____________________________

    Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

    The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

    (in reply to crumpets)
    Profile   Post #: 17
    RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/10/2016 8:58:21 PM   
    Snitch


    Posts: 105
    Joined: 1/27/2013
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
    See, the issue here is that you're talking about what people do vs. what they say and what society expects.


    ^^ that

    (in reply to OsideGirl)
    Profile   Post #: 18
    RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/10/2016 10:39:51 PM   
    ThatDizzyChick


    Posts: 5490
    Status: offline     		FR
    I like how his last picture, the one with the Eiffel Tower actually states the opposite of what he is claiming. :)

    _____________________________

    Not your average bimbo.

    (in reply to Snitch)
    Profile   Post #: 19
    RE: Monogamous Lifestyles. - 5/11/2016 7:11:38 AM   
    Snitch


    Posts: 105
    Joined: 1/27/2013
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: ThatDizzyChick

    FR
    I like how his last picture, the one with the Eiffel Tower actually states the opposite of what he is claiming. :)


    It doesn't matter what anyone posts.
    It matters what is.

    (in reply to ThatDizzyChick)
    Profile   Post #: 20
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